Applejack woke up as soon as the sun began to hit her face. She fumbled a little bit, partly from still being tired and partly from her hair being tangled without her hair bands. First thing she did was fix her hair for the day ahead. Grabbing her prized stetson, she made her way down to the kitchen, where Granny Smith was making breakfast; but she wasn’t alone.
“Mal,” said Applejack, in surprise. “What are you doin down here?”
“Helpin Granny Smith make breakfast, of course,” responded Mal. “What does it look like ah’m doin?”
“You know how to cook,” said Applejack.
“After a while, you’ll learn that I’m a stallion of many talents,” said Mal. “Plus, when ah was travelin, there were times where ah didn’t have anypony to fix me food. So it became necessary for me to learn how. And ah couldn’t let this lovely mare do all this hard work on her own.”
“Oh, now stop it right now, Malady,” said Granny Smith, blushing from his compliment. “Flattery aint gonna get ya outta doin yer work.”
“Ah would never try somethin so underhoofed, Granny,” said Mal, sounding playfully aghast at the elderly mare’s remark. “Ah intend to do all my required work on your lovely farm. Mama Wesson didn’t raise no slouch.”
Just then, they heard the rapid sound of little hoof steps running around upstairs. Scampering down the stairs were the Cutie Mark Crusaders, no doubt woken up by the smell of breakfast.
“That sure smells good,” exclaimed Apple Bloom.
“Can’t start crusading on an empty stomach,” exclaimed Scootaloo.
“I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” exclaimed Sweetie Belle with a large grin.
Everypony in the kitchen stood there in silence, giving Sweetie Belle a confused look.
“What,” asked Sweetie Belle. “It’s just an expression.”
Seconds later, Braeburn came trotting down the stairs whistling a happy tune.
“Good mornin, Apple Family!, “Braeburn exclaimed, as if he was welcoming them to the newest family reunion. “And how is everypony on this most glorious of days!?”
“Mah mah, aint you in a good mood,” deadpanned Applejack.
“An why shouldn’t ah be,” exclaimed Braeburn. “After all, ah’m hangin out with mah favorite cousins, mah best friend in the whole wide world, the cutest little fillies in all of Equestria, and of course mah favorite Granny!”
“Sweet Celestia,” chuckled Mal. “If he’s this happy now, imagine what he’ll be like once he’s gotten some Pinkie action.”
“Mal,” snapped Applejack. “There’s little ones present!”
“A.J., ah live on a farm,” Apple Bloom said matter of fact like. “Ah know where babies come from.”
“Rarity loves talking about boys,” chimed in Sweetie Belle.
“Rainbow Dash doesn’t have what some would call a filter,” grumbled Scootaloo.
Applejack stood there for a moment, trying to find something to say.
“Looks like ol' Janaluska Apple is speechless,” said Mal, beginning to laugh his head off.
Mal was laughing so hard, he didn’t see the back hooves coming at his face. And at that point, Big Macintosh had walked through the front door and made his way to the kitchen.
“Mornin ya’ll,” exclaimed the farm stallion.
He then noticed Mal, laying unconscious on the floor. Everypony stood there for a moment, first looking at Big Macintosh to acknowledge his presence and then taking their attention back to Mal. Big Mac leaned over towards Apple Bloom.
“He called A.J. by her given name, didn’t he,” he asked his little sister, his eyes locked on Mal‘s unconscious body.
“Eeyup,” replied Apple Bloom.
________________________________________________________________________
“Ah bet you think your soooooooo fast, don’t ya,” groaned Mal, now sporting two black eyes.
Applejack just kept on working, sporting a smug smile on her face.
“If ah wasn’t laughin at the time, ah coulda dodged yer kicks,” he went on.
“Ya wanna test that theory,” Applejack said, giving him a harsh stare.
“Maybe once mah eyes have gone back to normal,” responded Mal defensively. “Ah’ve lost a good deal of mah depth perception at the moment. Is it a normal occurrence on this farm to attack the help?”
“It is when the help is mouthin off like a jackass,” barked Applejack. “Ah’d hardly call you help though.”
“What’s yer damn problem,” exclaimed Mal.
“What’s my problem?!” yelled Applejack. “What’s my problem!? Are you serious!?”
“Course ah’m serious!” yelled Mal. “Look at mah buckin face!”
“Yer mah problem, Malady!” she yelled louder. “You say yer interested in me, but yer always makin fun of me and teasing me!”
“Ah’m just bein affectionate,” exclaimed Mal.
“No! Yer treatin me like one of the guys!” she exclaimed.
“Huh?” said Mal. “What?”
“In case you didn’t notice, ah aint no stallion,” she said.
“Ah know that,” he said with a confused tone.
“Do you? Cuz you sure don’t act like it,” she said. “You treat all mares like this?”
“Well…no…ah guess not,” he said, his ears pinning back.
“Ya figured ya didn’t have to treat me the same cuz we grew up together,” she went on. “An ah may not be as fancy as somepony like Rarity, but ah still want to be treated like a lady. Ah still expect things, like dates and gifts and all that romantic stuff.”
“D-dates?” Mal said, quite shocked.
“For buck’s sake, Mal,” said Applejack. “You said you were interested in my, didn’t ya?”
“Well…yeah,” said Mal.
“Ah’ve had time to think,” she continued. “And ah’m interested in you too. But this aint gonna work if ya keep treatin me like ah’m a school filly. Not that most school fillies wanna be picked on either.”
“So, what do ah do,” he asked.
“Ah thought ya dated,” she said in a sarcastic tone.
Finally, Mal got the hint. He took off his hat and bowed at Applejack.
“Applejack,” he began. “Would you do me the pleasure of goin out with me sometime?”
“That’s much better,” she smiled. “And sure, ah’ll go out with you. Soon as we have some free time of course.”
“Yeah, of course,” said Mal.
“But don’t expect me to be wowed by a simple stroll to the park,” said Applejack. “Don’t have to be some high class, exclusive place or anything. But ah at least want a decent sit down place.”
“Ah can do that,” he nodded.
“We should probably also wait for yer face to heal some,” chuckled Applejack. “Ah can’t be seen in public with a busted lookin stallion.”
“Ah wouldn’t be busted if you hadn’t….” he started to say before Applejack shot him a look. “Ah mean to say, yer absolutely right. Also, ah’m sorry fer treatin you so bad.”
“Just get back to work,” said Applejack.