Big Macintosh was lost in the woods, which wasn’t half so dramatic as it sounded. This was Whitetail Woods, which by and large more closely resembled fluffy kittens than the vaunted Everfree Forest. They both had trees, and there the similarities ceased entirely. The red stallion was easily the largest thing around the halcyon groves, and calm as the escape made him, he was yet to fully shake the feelings of being hunted and coursed.
Worse still, his sense of fair play nagged him constantly. It wasn’t a rule, per se, but skulking about alone wasn’t in the true spirit of the contest. He was supposed to be in town, mingling. Cursing his good nature, Big Mac knew he’d have to head back into Ponyville. When he stepped onto the trackway for the Running of the Leaves, he let them lead him home.
The wind playing through the leaves set his mind at ease; sure there’d been a rough start, but there were plenty more ponies in Ponyville and he’d toughed out the bet so far. Feeling optimistic, some would say foolishly so, and warmed by the sunshine, the colt came back to town.
“Hiya Big Mac!” chirped Pinkie Pie as she strolled on by. He was one step into town, one step past the last tree of Whitetail, and he was faced with the most delightful and/or crazy mare around.
Oh, and she was adorned head to hoof in a spy mare catsuit. In the complete open, in broad daylight. A skintight, spandex catsuit.
What a broad.
For all that she wasn’t actually doing anything, not even affecting attempts at sneaking and stealth. Indeed, ponies milling about the place paid her no mind whatsoever, and for a moment Big Mac had the dizzying, inexplicable sense that this mare might be much, much more clever than she ever let on.
That, or she was just being Pinkie Pie.
He managed to smile for her big blue eyes as she passed, feeling somehow trapped, like a playing piece on a board, and she wasn’t even playing the same game as everypony else. She was bobbing her head as if to a catchy tune, whistling happily to herself.
“Seeya Big Mac!”
“Uh...see ya,” he managed to call back. He quickly shook off the feeling and kept onwards, keeping an eye to the sky. A glance at the clocktower to the edge of town told him it was just past noon, by seven minutes to be precise.
“Hiya Big Mac!” he heard and neary but totally didn’t jump in startlement, but this voice was notably higher, and coming from lower, than the similarly exuberant tone he’d expected. His smallest sister and her friends laughed. “You jumped!”
“Oh, Apple Bloom. Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle,” he said, giving a nod to each in turn. They fell into a formation of sorts around him, a ridiculous triangle of fillies flanking him, his sister in the lead.
“We decided,” she began, “we can give the Great Crusade a break for today. Instead we’re gonna help you out with this bet of yours.” The filly stopped and rolled her eyes, holding up the whole group. “As a thank you, and all that. And we ran into a few ponies who want to see you too, so yeah, you need all the help you can get.”
Before Big Macintosh could voice anything a sudden gasp of alarm came up from the left flank, err, from Scootaloo.
“Rainbow Dash,incoming!” the filly shrieked and indeed, a blazing blue blur had zeroed in on their position.
“Hey, champ, there you are!” the pegasus shouted from on high, rapidly descending like a bird of prey.
The fillies shared some sort of Meaningful Glances, resulting in the orange filly nodding just once. She broke away, interposing herself between the others and her idol.
“Run, you fools!” she hissed, then turned to face her fate. Big Mac was hurried along, and the last he saw of Scootaloo, the filly had transformed, channelling her gushing inner fan-filly with such shamelessly aggrandizing adulations for the greatest, the quickest and fastest, the most awesomely amazing super duper fantastic awesomest flier that Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but forget everything and bask in the praise.
“In here!” shouted the little unicorn, and the quite sufficiently stupefied Big Macintosh stepped from the daylight into the inviting shadows of Carousel Boutique. “Rainbow Dash won’t think to look for you here!” the filly chirped.
What had seemed shadowy wasn’t anything of the sort, not really. It was less bright than the open day certainly, but done so in such a way that created pale little shadows that somehow brought out the finer details of the colours, shapes and textures in everything that filled the dressmaker’s shop.
Everything was so pristine and perfectly placed. It gave the big stallion an edge of self-consciousness
“I wouldn’t think to look for me here either,” he rumbled.
“I know, right?” the white filly chirped happily, bouncing along on her hooves to a door near the back. “It’s perfect! Let me just get Rarity,” she said and bounded away.
Apple Bloom ushered him onwards “Don’t worry, Rarity’s pretty cool.”
Big Macintosh was less than confident. Eeyup and Nnope were a constant, droning backdrop to his thoughts now, and the very last thing he needed was another crazy mare. Please don’t be crazy. Please don’t be crazy
And there she was. Big Mac blinked. Rarity blinked. She had curlers in her hair, but other than her surprise at finding the stallion running with the Crusaders, she looked grudgingly tolerant of it as a clear part in her sister’s antics. It made him instantly feel they had something in common. On further examination she looked tired, though she covered for it well.
“Sweetie...”
“Yep?” the filly said with a chirp. Big Macintosh twitched.
Rarity sighed. “Aren’t you a little young to be bringing stallions home?” Sweetie Belle furrowed her brow, pouting with her attempt to understand. “Nevermind, dear,” Rarity added quickly. With a flourish and a tug, the curlers were tugged free. Luscious locks fell into place with a bounce. She went to the counter and poured herself a coffee. “How much of this story do I want to hear?”
Big Mac cleared his throat. “That depends, ma’am—”
Rarity waved a dismissive hoof in the air as she poured her drink.
Big Macintosh shuffled a bit on his hooves. “Short version then?”
“Yes, please.” Rarity drank a heady draught of coffee, then gestured towards the pot. Big Mac shook his head, declining the offer.
“Erm,” he began, trying to get the crux of the crazy issue. It was Sweetie Belle who did it for him.
“Big Macintosh needs a place to lay low ‘til the fuzz is off his back.” Mare and stallion alike gave the smiling filly wide, blank looks.
“Sweetie Belle?”
“Yeah, sis?”
“One day soon I’m going to have to find out what it is you Crusaders actually get up to when nopony is watching you, you know that?” Rarity sighed a brew embittered breath.
“Yep!” said the filly with utter cheerful confidence. Big Mac bit down on his tongue until the worst of the urge to say the forbidden word passed him by.
“My brother’s gone and got himself wrassled into a bet with my sister. Rainbow Dash’s gone a tad crazy what with deciding to be his coach to make sure he beats her.” The filly’s eyes went wide and watery; even her bow slumped, somehow. “Scootaloo sacrificed herself to get him this far. Please, miss Rarity, just for a little while?” The little unicorn added her pleading eyes to the request.
“Sacrificed herself?” Rarity repeated, her voice flat enough to put a spirit level to shame.
“Uh-huh,” Sweetie Belle intoned sorrowfully.
Apple Bloom patted her friend comfortingly. “It’s the way she’d have wanted to go.” In the meantime, Rarity and Big Macintosh exchanged looks of mutual confusion.
The bell above the door jingled. “Hey guys,” said Scootaloo as she came in.
Their mourning entirely forgotten in an instant, the other two crusaders perked back up. “So it worked?” asked Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo’s eyes had just the slightest bit of a glazed, faraway look to them, and she stared somewhere just beyond her friends. A bit of a silly smile snuck its way onto her lips. “Totally.” She blinked and recalled herself. “There any snacks? Oh hey Rarity.”
“Hello, Scootaloo.” Rarity grumbled daintily and sipped the coffee, not entirely hiding her pout. “I suppose you can stay for a little bit, Big Mac.” Rarity sighed into her cup, then topped it up. “I’m giving you fair warning. I was up all night working. I am very tired and short on patience right now.” She turned on the fillies with unexpected sharpness. They leapt together and leaned back from the baleful mare. “That goes doubly so for you three.”
She drifted away, her brief energy spent, mumbling about the work she still had to do. The fillies left, deciding that a short fused Rarity was hazardous even by their standards, promising to check in on Big Mac later. After all, everypony reasoned, he should be safe enough here. For now.
“Eey-yalp!” Big Mac choked, spluttering as he fell to his knees. It was getting harder to resist. He wasn’t going to give in, he wasn’t! “No-arrgh!” he growled, and toppled entirely.
“Everything alright down there?” Rarity called.
Big Mac considered the only two possible answers, so near yet so far away. He whined under his breath, stifling a sniffle. The livelong day had never looked so long before.