Midday waited a few moments for Twilight Velvet to start showing the girls (and Spike) photos of Twilight Sparkle as a filly, and quickly slipped upstairs to check her bags. She noticed Twilight in her room, looking somewhat embarrassed.
"Just going out to do... stuff." Midday said to her. Twilight just made a noise like she wasn't really paying attention.
"Utterly unimportant stuff." Twilight just made another noise.
"Be back soon."
She walked down the stairs, and out to the door. There was a slight noise as something landed behind her. It was Rainbow Dash.
"And where are you going?" the pegasus asked. Midday turned to look at her, utterly impassive.
"Out" she said. "As fun as seeing how adorable Twilight Sparkle looked as a filly must be, I do have things I need to attend to."
Rainbow Dash just nodded in disbelief.
"Well, maybe I could come with you." There was a noise from upstairs. Midday knew Twilight Sparkle, she knew how the mare's brain worked, and she knew the design of the family house and the placement of Twilight's bedroom made listening into to conversations really easy.
"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight Sparkle yelled, "Where do you think you're going?!" There was a pop, and an irate Twilight appeared in front of the pegasus.
"Out. There are things I gotta do."
"Are these things more important than practicing for the most. Important. Play. Of the YEAR?!" Rainbow Dash found she had been backing up when she backed into the banister. She stared into Twilight's eyes, and instantly recognised the problem.
They'd been asked to perform the play by Princess Celestia. Asked. By Princess Celestia. And if they failed, Rainbow Dash was certain, five certain ponies would be up the chocolate creek without a straw. Sudden images of a demonic-looking stuffed doll came homing into Rainbow Dash's mind, though she honestly wasn't sure why.
"N-no" she said, before coughing and shoring up some stored brado. "No, Twilight, not at all."
The frown on Twilight's face vanished, and she smiled an alarming sweet smile.
"Good."
Midday smiled, nodded and walked out of the door, trying not to laugh at Rainbow Dash's irritated expression. The mare returned to the 'drawing room' (Though she couldn't see a single piece of paper or pencil. It was probably some fancy-pants unicorn thing) and siddled up to Rarity.
"No good" she whispered.
"Just going to have to wait until the play then."
"Got it."
The speedster fumed. Waiting. Although the fact that she got to play Commander Hurricane was something. It was just a shame she had to share the stage.
*****
Midday walked down the street, wondering what she was going to do in regards to Hearth's Warming presents. For some reason she felt strongly tempted to buy them books. Books were easy to carry and find. But then, Rainbow Dash of the past seemed to have some grudge against reading, Pinkie probably couldn't summon the attention span to read, Applejack would probably make up some nonsense about not having the time to read, and Rarity probably only read truly awful novels about incredibly stupid young mares 'falling in love' with tall dark moody strangers who weren't actually ponies.
Midday bit her lip at the thought of that.
'Perhaps I should check elsewhere then. I can get books later'.
She walked through the streets of Canterlot, noticing the snow have been carefully removed from the paths, making her wonder why anypony went to the effort of making it snow if they were just going to get rid of it ten minutes later, especially after that whole song and dance routine. She tried desperately to ignore the catchy tune, which seemed to not actually have left her mind, only to have stepped outside for a moment to get some air and maybe use the facilities.
She sighed, and continued onward toward the best place to buy things for the aspiring thespians.
*****
"To be, or not to be, that is the que-"
"Rarity! We're not doing that play. Stick to the script."
"But it's so dreary, and staid!"
"Let me guess, Rar', you wan' some tall, dark 'n handsome fella to come along and marry ya, even though he's got not no reason to like ya."
"How did you figure that one out?"
"Y' ever see Rarity do a book report at school, Rainbow? Ah have."
"Girls, I think we should get back to rehearsing. Twilight's making odd noises."
*****
Midday walked leisurely past various stores selling thing that almost looked like they might sell things that the others would like, but wouldn't. There were a truly staggering amount of clothes shops, which she knew Rarity wouldn't like, since the mare preferred to design her own clothes rather than buy them. There were sporting goods stores, which Rainbow probably wouldn't like, all evidence pointing to the fact that the speedster preferred practicing as she was, jokes stores provided difficult because she was sure what sort of things Pinkie preferred to use.
She found her train of though interupted by her bumping into something solid, which was in fact the rear end of a pony.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I sh-... You?" The pony said. Midday looked at the complete stranger staring at her.
"Does everpony in this town say that? Is there some modern slang definition of the word 'you' we are unfamiliar with?"
Then she looked at the mare's eyes, a rather distinctive purple colour, and she remembered the things she'd been told about eyes, and shapeshifters, something Wisp had mentioned at some point. You couldn't disguise the nature of your eyes.
"Oh, goodness. I didn't recognise you there, Cele-" The mare held up a hoof to her face.
"Say one more syllable and I hurl you into the sun."
"And what did you do with your voice? It's all cute!" Midday couldn't help beaming, and giggling at the fact that she was 'beaming' at the Princess of the Sun in disguise, who was beginning to blush. She tried to stop herself, and took a deep breath.
"Sorry, but you do look quite adorably awkward like that. What are you doing out here, anyhow?"
"Buying Hearth's Warming gifts, mostly for my sister." The disguised diarch leaned in. "And avoiding itchy clothing." She winked. Instantly Midday understood.
"Y'know," she said, walking onwards, Celestia trotting beside her, which her mind noted was extremely weird even for a pony who had once rappelled into the Underworld, "That's something I've always wanted to ask. Can you knit? Can Luna knit?"
Celestia blushed, Midday trying not to look surprised at that. She'd embarrased Celestia. Another thing she could never tell anypony.
"No." she said quietly. Then she seemed to shore herself up.
"It's something to do with being an alicorn, I think. Phenominal cosmic power. Can't knit to save our life."
"Have you tried?" Then she remembered that there were numerous reports of Celestia being found during the winter seasons wearing what looked like uncomfortable woollen... sweaters, perhaps, and guessed in all likelihood she had.
"So... You're not the pony knitting them, and Luna isn't the knitting sort, so..." She stopped dead. She stared at Celestia and grinned.
"No."
"Yes."
Midday laughed out loud. Several passers-by stared at her.
"Sorry, that was mean" she said once she managed to stop. "But still, all these years, and you've been wearing sweaters knitted by your niece?" A sly grin crossed her face. "That's so cute."
"I'll have you arrested."
"You could try, but... that might prove a bit difficult, bearing in mind who my mother is, and what that would make me."
"Oh, yes."
"And then there's the fact that my uncle trained me in several styles of combat."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I spent hours following him about begging him to teach me what he knew. He gave in eventually."
She giggled at the memory, then leaned in towards Celestia.
"But then, you know exactly what guard training is like, don't you?"
Celestia looked uneasy.
"Perhaps."
"Come on, you were considered the second-greatest guard who ever was! Even Shining Armor is compared to you. The wonderful Super Nova. How nopony caught on from the name alone, I can't tell."
Celestia smirked.
"You know, I'm really not sure either. Though I think disguising myself as a unicorn, making my hair look ginger and changing my voice probably helped a lot."
Midday nodded.
"That'd do it."
*****
"Stop, stop, stop! Fluttershy, you're doing it wrong."
"Sorry, Twilight."
"I mean, your delivery, great. Tone, great, poise, great. But you just aren't doing it right."
"This is the silliest stuff Trixie has ever seen! I don't suppose when you're done with this play we could go on tour, could we?"
*****
"Really?" Celestia said, staring at what Midday had decided to buy.
"What? I think it's cute. Don't you think it's cute?"
Celestia frowned.
"Perhaps. Maybe even a bit too cute."
"Well, that is sort of the point, I think. It's a nice overly-cute tea cosy. I'm thinking it'll at least get a giggle out of Rarity."
She stopped and considered this, and Rarity's general behaviour. Rarity was many things: generous, lovely, graceful, devious when required, a bit over-dramatic, but she was not one of nature's gigglers.
"It'll get a guffaw out of her" Midday amended. She mulled that statement and nodded to herself, assured that if Rarity was to react, she would certainly guffaw.
"So, what are you buying for Luna?" Celestia pointed at a small display, showing a strange box with a handle on the top of it, and what appeared to be a series of gears.
"A coffee... grinder?" Midday looked at it. She gave a small 'hmm'.
"Unusual device. Surely she's got something like that already?"
"She broke it, apparently" Celestia said, though she didn't sound anywhere near convinced.
"Well, I've got something, you've found what you're after, shall we go?"
*****
As the two ponies walked along the streets, Midday kept looking about. A long buried concern finally managed to dig its way out of the darker parts of her mind.
"Can I ask you something?"
"You've been asking me questions for the last hour." Midday rolled her eyes at that.
"Yes, well, I was just wondering, have been for a while, why is it-"
"There are no bakers in Canterlot?"
Midday blinked. "... Yes, actually."
She could've sworn Celestia looked slightly... sheepish.
"It's so that nopony can bake cake anywhere near me."
Midday understood that well enough, and grinned. Celestia's cavalier consumption of cake was a widely denied fact, despite hardworking tabloids constantly posting photos of the solar diarch chowing down on immense gateaus. She briefly wondered if the Royal Press corps was responsible for the outright denial of something Celestia was clearly trying to make plain as day, in some misguided but well-meaning attempt to defend their princesses' honour.
"Royal Decree, actually. No bakeries in Canterlot."
Midday just nodded.
"Well, that's hardly the weirdest decree in all of pony-law. What about the Invitation Act? (which has never actually been repealed)"
"I was just wondering the other day whether anypony remembered that one." Celestia said, mirthfully.
The Invitation Law was... an odd and frankly surreal chapter in Canterlot legal history. At some point two hundred years ago some pony had got the idea into their head to make invitations for tea and biscuits a legally binding summons, and had managed to get it turned into a law. Strangely enough, this increased party attendance in Canterlot by a staggering amount, as well as the overall sum of lawsuits. Eventually the law was quietly buried and forgotten by every pony under the sun, save lawyers of course.
"So, what next, after buying coffee preparing devices?" Midday asked
"Well, I was going to buy something for Twilight Sparkle, perhaps a book?"
The two mares stared at each other for a moment.
"Did I honestly just say that?" Celestia laughed.
*****
Midday looked around the bookstore. Her mind raced with a thousand thoughts and their derivatives. She looked at one book and flicked her way through it.
"Nope" she muttered. She looked at another. She slammed it shut, and noticed the slight puff of dust when it closed.
"Nope." She moved along. She looked at another. And another and another and another. And so this continued on for ten minutes.
Eventually she found a book that looked promising. She flipped through this one, slowly this time.
She looked at it, she looked at the cover, the writer, the little inside blurb that usually everypony ignored. She nodded approvingly.
The trick, she mused, of buying books for Fluttershy is that she was easily frightened. Bears, she could handle, manticores were fine, certain types of dragon could be easily dismissed, but snakes, spiders and basilisks were right out. And, should she have seen them, Fluttershy would have been as well.
She sighed. Fluttershy seemed to be an almost unstoppable force with knowledge of writing, sewing, botany, animal care, and she was fairly certain knew tons about singing, but one picture of a scary looking giant snake, and she'd pass out?
That mare, Midday told herself, had issues.
*****
"Oh, is this normal?"
"Don't worry mom, it's not your fault, Rarity's just got a fear of cheese."
"... I see. I suppose somepony ought t- that was fast."
"Pinkie!"
*****
Midday found Celestia looking at a row of Daring Do books.
"Which ones do she have?" the disguised monarch asked.
Midday's brow furrowed.
"You know, I'm not quiet sure. I know she's got the first few, but I don't think she's got the latest one."
"So, should I buy it? What if it turns out she's already bought it?"
"Then she can put it in the library. Or keep it for use on long journeys."
"Will she be going on long journeys?" Celestia said innocently, raising an eyebrow.
Midday gave the issue some thought.
"Better to err on the side of caution. She might need a spare."
*****
"Rainbow, Rainbow, just a pointer, not that you aren't doing well, but could you be a bit louder?"
"... How much louder?"
"Just a little bit."
"You were supposed to give a percentage, Twilight. Alright, alright, fine, I'll be louder."
"Not too much louder, if you don't mind."
"Of course, Mrs T."
*****
Some time later, and Midday stood triumphant. She had overcome the struggle of buying a gift for Rainbow Dash, and managed to more-or-less drag Celestia from the Ailse of P'ink while at the same time having found something to buy for Pinkie. She had everything on her list, including books for Twilight, Fluttershy and Trixie, which she hoped the mares would appreciate, potentially leading to enjoyment.
"Well, I think that's everything" Midday said, trying to ignore the weight on her back.
"Well, this was certainly an interesting experience." Celestia said, "And I hope the play goes well."
"Well, with the most powerful magic wielder alive, the heir of one of the greatest illusionists ever, and me, who can simultaneously be both, I'm sure it'll be... interesting. And watching Rainbow Dash try to act should be worth the admission price alone."
Celestia made a small noise that sounded neither interested nor alarmed, and shifted her weight.
"Have a happy Hearth's Warming then" she said, her wings beginning to beat.
"Likewise, your higness. All the best to Luna and Cadance."
Midday watched as Celestia flittered off vaguely in the direction of the castle, sighed and began her walk back towards Twilight's house, trying not to hum any variety of song.
*****
She opened the door, and tried to keep the invisibility charms working, slowly making her way up the stairs. Once she'd gotten to the small bed she was sleeping on, she placed the bags and boxes down, and let them drop. She stood there, and considered that it was still three days until Hearth's Warming Eve, and she'd managed to accomplish all the shopping. She allowed herself a brief victory grin. Then she made her way to the drawing room, where everypony was. Evidently Twilight was instructing Rarity on how to act as a more accurate Princess Plantinun, while Pinkie Pie and Spike were playing some card game, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy and Trixie meanwhile had somehow been stolen away by Twilight Velvet to look at more photos of Twilight Sparkle.
"And here's her from Nightmare Night a few years ago."
"Goodness, that must've been shortly after the first Daring Do book came out." Fluttershy said.
"Yes, the very same year, actually. She bought the book with her own money and read it a thousand times. I think she took it with her when she moved to Ponyville."
"Hi Midday" Pinkie Pie cheered, and waved. Midday waved back, and quickly made her way to the nearest sofa and collapsed.
"Have a nice day out?" Pinkie smiled, her game with Spike forgotten.
"Yeah, pretty nice"
"Did you meet any family?" Pinkie continued. Midday's smile evaporated.
"No. No family here for me."
"I thought you said you were from Canterlot" Rainbow Dash said.
"Doesn't mean there's anypony I want to see here though."
"Not even us?" Pinkie asked. Midday looked straight at the manic mare. She considered the best possible way to answer that question.
"That's not quite what I meant."
"What did you mean?"
Midday lifted her hoof up, and made a zipping motion along Pinkie's mouth. Strangely enough, Pinkie started acting like she couldn't speak.
"Midday, what did you just do to Pinkie?" asked Twilight, watching the mare bounce around the room, pretending she couldn't open her mouth.
"Pretended to zip her mouth shut. It'll keep her quiet for a bit." There were some emphatic noises from Pinkie.
"I'd just really like a moment to sit down, I've been walking for over an hour."
"Well, I'm going to need her in a second, so could you... 'un-zip' her?"
Midday waved her hoof and Pinkie bounced over to her, Midday made an unzipped notion and recieved a full breath in her face. It smelt of sugar and frosting.
"Thanks! I thought I was going to have to go without eating there, could you imagine that not being able to eat, I couldn't I'd probably go mad with hunger not eating, I might need something to-"
"Pinkie!" Twilight said. Not yelled, just said. The mare slowly seemed to deflate.
"It's your turn" Twilight said, with all the calm of the eye of a hurricane, while floating a script towards her, and another towards Applejack. Applejack didn't look entirely entheused, although Midday wasn't certain if that was because of having to act alongside Pinkie, or because of the fact that it was 'false'.
She lay there, watching Pinkie reading out the script for Chancellor Puddinghead, and reflected upon what her mother had written on the historical mare, which was not entirely suitable for re-publication, but astoundingly true all the same. Pinkie would have to really act to be anywhere near as mad as Puddinghead.
She looked over at Rarity, leafing her way through the notes and looking... disappointed. She got up, ignoring the slight pains and aches in her legs and walked over to Rarity, carefully avoiding Pinkie performing a circling monlogue, apparently one of Puddinghead's length oades to parrots.
"What's the matter, disappointed that Platinum never married?" The pout on Rarity's face was something to behold.
"You can laugh, but I believe in a good romance."
"Meeting and instantly falling in love with a pony you know nothing about isn't love at first sight, Rarity. That's infatuation. And just because you and Spike have it, doesn't mean it's sure to work."
"Have you ever been in love?" Rarity asked, her voice cold and low.
Midday sat there, and stared at Rarity. A thousand options presented themselves, including a few that while tempting she knew she'd never take.
"I have to use the ladies" she muttered, and walked out of the hallway. Rarity was too busy pondering Midday's reaction to note she hadn't asked where the lavatory was.
Midday eventually returned just as Twilight declared the sessions done.
"Okay, I think we've all got a good understanding of our characters and the script. Now all we need to do is the dress rehearsals tomorrow, and then just keep practicing until Hearth's Warming Eve."
There were cheers. Then Twilight spoke again.
"After all, what could possibly go wrong?"
There was utter silence for several moments, broken only by Midday facehoofing and making a pained groan.