"-don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize! Ring-ding-diddle diddle aye-dee-oh, ring ding diddly-aye-oh, lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize!"
Applejack smiled to herself. Big Mac had taken the whole human-who-says-he's-from-another-world thing in with his usual level-headed acceptance. Honestly, she needed to see if there was anything under Celestia's sun that could startle her bro.
Mind, he had certainly warmed up to Jamal, and Jamal had really taken to him. It only took Macintosh two shots of Applejack's namesake and one pint of cider to start teaching the visitor his favorite drinking songs, and that had set off a lively cultural exchange.
How could humans be so huffy and persnickety one moment and completely down-to-earth the next? Granted, good cider and high spirits helped, but it was more than that. If he'd seen this "car tune" of his, then he knew a bit about how the farm worked and what other ungulates were like in Equestria. But she'd never seen New Jersey on some not-magic-box. How was she to know that cattle didn't talk in "his world"? Did he tell her that domesticated cattle were just mindless beasts like wyverns instead of lifestyle-fetishists? And honestly, what made humans such squeamish prudes? No wonder he was a single dad with an attitude like that.
Applejack snapped out an inner lasso and roped in that uncharitable thought. That wasn't like her and that wasn't fair. Whether or not he really fell through the cracks in his world, this feller came from a radically different culture. This was like expecting a zebra to know how to freeze-distill apple wine.
On the floor beneath her, Big Mac and Jamal wound down with the song about the Pegasus who had his hooves stuck in plaster.
Applejack trotted into Applebloom's room. "Okay, you got your glass of small cider, a lick of salt, and we played carthorse. Are you ready for bed now?"
Applebloom crossed her front legs. "You forgot about the story!"
Applejack chuckled. Of course she hadn't forgotten, but it had become part of the ritual now. "Have I? Now I guess I'm just a silly pony. Once upon a time, in Dream Valley, the evil lord Tirek wanted to cast the world in a shroud of darkness. He had a bag of pulsating shadows called the rainbow of darkness, and he hated every green thing growin' upon the face o' the earth. Nothing would please him better than to let that throbbing little concoction of anti-life slime and twisted spirits rip from east to west, and watch starvation and devastation fill the world with ash and bone…"
It had all started when Applebloom asked her to tell her a brand new story about her Big Sister's adventures. Of course, she'd already told her about facing Basil the dragon, Nightmare Moon, Discord, and the changeling queen, but she'd found those stories oddly hard to believe, and she'd heard each of them at least four times. So she'd invented a wild new tale on the fly, and she knew it was a load of spun sugar, and so did Applebloom, but for some reason she enjoyed it much more than the things that really happened. The story grew in each retelling and in response to Applebloom's demands. She'd worked in a pony a lot like Rainbow Dash named Fyreflye, and later had Spike working for the villain. When Applebloom asked why Tirek didn't use the dragons he already had, instead of changing ponies into dragons, she explained that his winged reptiloids were stratadons, not true dragons.
"Were there any humans fighting to stop Tirek? I mean, now that you think about it properly?" Applebloom giggled.
She'd been pretty unfazed by the human too, aside from wanting to introduce him to her friends and help him get his cutie mark. She'd had to explain that she wouldn't introduce him to Equestrian society until he was good and ready. This critter needed to remain a family secret for now.
"Well of course there was! Fyreflye roped in a little human with straw-colored hair and bright blue overalls, because uh, she was great at riding ponies."
"How did she get a human if they live all the way in another world?" Applebloom said suspiciously.
"Well, I dunno about that. The human said he lives in another world where the sun stands still and the moon whizzes around on its own, but maybe it's just really far away. All I know is Fyreflye flew as fast as she could to pull off this new trick, and the next thing she knew she'd landed outside a stable. It was a little farm, a lot like this one, only the humans could talk and the ponies couldn't!"
Applebloom gasped appreciatively.
"So, Megan tries to be humble, but Fyreflye insists that she's the perfect human to help the ponies out with nasty ol' Tirek…"
In the end, the forces of evil were vanquished, the gargoyle minion turned into a pretty human prince, and harmony was restored to Dream Valley. Applebloom had fallen fast asleep, or was at least doing a good job of pretending.
"Good night little sis," she whispered, closing the door behind her.
She left just in time to find Granny Smith sneaking downstairs with a bottle of purifying sake, a cinnamon broom, and an electrum icon of Princess Celestia's cutie mark.
Applejack snorted. "Granny Smith, are you tryin' to exorcise mah houseguest again?"
Granny Smith knotted up her wrinkled brow in feigned innocence. "Who, me?"
"Yes you!" Applejack snarled.
"Couldn't be!" she said, in defiance of the evidence.
Applejack nosed her back into her room, pushing as firmly as she could without actually causing injury to the old mare. "Granny, if you can't behave yourself and show proper Apple family hospitality to this gentlecolt, you'll have to spend the next few nights with yer galpal Mayor Mare."
Granny Smith grinned and licked her lips. That old mare was still an incurable lovebird.
"AND I'll bring in Uncle Strudel to take over apple-sorting for the cider harvest."
Granny Smith jerked upright with a look of pure dread. "That old man's got sinuses and tastebuds fried by pipe tobacky and sandyweed. He'll ruin the cider! He'll let in a few bad apples to spoil the whole bunch!"
Great Uncle Strudel was a fairly good sorter, but Granny Smith had a mean streak of professional rivalry with him that put Applejack's running-of-the-leaves incident with Rainbow Dash to shame. "Well then, I guess you and Jamal had better learn to get along, and I better not hear from him that you're singing hymns to Celestia right in his ear or throwing sacred salts at his face."
She kicked the door shut. "Goodnight Granny!"
Applejack started her way to bed until she heard the noise of half-smothered sobs. She froze. She opened her bedroom door and listened.
Crickets chirped in three-part harmony. Cows snored out in the sheds. She was almost ready to go back to bed when she heard it again.
It wasn't a great big noisy sob, the kind you made when you broke down in front of friends and family, or after a really bad breakup. It was the sound somepony made who was used to covering up her or his sad sounds, somepony trying not to wake up their family because they didn't want them to deal with this upset. She heard the soft, wet sobs of somepony trying to shoulder a burden alone.
She knew that wasn't the sound of Granny, Big Mac, or Applebloom. She trotted downstairs with just enough noise to alert Jamal to her presence. She went slowly enough that he'd have time to compose himself.
When she arrived, the human looked relaxed and happy, if a little drunk. Nothing betrayed his bought of misery besides a runny nose and a little tremble his left claw. Applejack was impressed, in a sad, dark way.
"How are ya doin' tonight?" She said, matching his elegant fake smile with her own false heartiness.
"Oh you know, pretty good considering," he said.
Applejack took his glass from him, grabbed a bottle of apple brandy spirits, and wordlessly refilled it. He emptied half of it in a gulp, coughed, breathed slowly, and sipped the rest.
Applejack poured a little shot and sipped herself. The silence stretched out, but it was an easy, soothing quiet. It didn't break so much as dissolve into words.
"I heard some of your bedtime story," Jamal said to his empty glass. He refilled it with a shaking hand. "It was pretty cute. It reminds me a lot of a made-for-TV movie I saw with my little sister growing up." He sighed.
Applejack didn't question this statement. It wasn't what he was really thinking about anyway.
"Thank you," she said. She took a sip. He took a sip.
"I really like being here. I like it a lot," he said. His voice trembled. "I haven't had this much fun in…a long, long time. It's really satisfying, and rewarding, and it's much more fun than shilling out chips and rancid meat."
A chill ran down Applejack's spine. He'd mentioned that he worked at a human restaurant, and ungulates weren't treated like people in his world. Now he talked about working with flesh.
Jamal pulled the sparkly thing with the spinning needle out of his pocket. He stared at it for a long time. She reminded herself that whatever disturbing things he did back home, here he was nothing but a good farmhoof.
"Christina's waiting back home. She's staying with her aunt in Camden. She's a lot like Applebloom." He sighed again. "Or, maybe it just reminds me of her, hearing Applebloom poke holes in the story. She's really good at asking tricky questions. She loves the show. You're her favorite pony, along with Twilight, and even though she's a great singer in the Children's Chorus and the chorus summer camp, she wants to grow up to be a scientist."
Applejack refilled his glass. The human seemed to age right before her eyes.
"She made this compass. It wasn't part of the camp program, but after all the times I got 'lost' because I drove through an upscale neighborhood where people like me weren't supposed to have nice cars, she wanted to help me find my way. She asked the teachers about how to make a compass so I could be home for her more often."
Anger and pain flashed across his face. For a moment Applejack worried that he might break the glass. She didn't know exactly what she was talking about, but she could smell the big mess of tangled feelings and harsh realities behind it.
"I'm just so, so tired. I'm tired of trying to cook nutritious meals that won't make her gag using underipe fruit and expensive vegetables and preservative-filled crap. I tired of trying to keep her entertained and informed and keeping her out of trouble. I'm tired of trying to explain why we shouldn't speak to policemen unless they ask us questions, or why she can't have most of the toys or visit most of the places she sees on TV. I'm tired of trying to keep this ratty apartment together on a 'living' wage."
He curled up his claws into his palms and pounded them on the table. "I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I went to Bronycon for a little break from it all, and now it feels like I've gotten the perfect vacation, and it's not even my fault." He groaned and whimpered. "I just haven't accomplished anything back home. I see all this artwork that looks like it belongs in a museum, and I get a hug from some genius in a Derpy Hooves costume, and I think, why can't I do any of that? I don't have the talent or energy or smarts to make up a four-page fanfiction, and here are these kids doing all this amazing stuff!" He shook his head.
Applejack sniffled. She thought back to the Cider Season incident, and to the big Applebuck season. What if she didn't have her friends to fall back on? What if it was just her, a family in need, and too many things to do?
She put a leg around his shoulder. She wanted to reassure him, but he wasn't ready for truth right now, not until he finished spilling out his own poisons. Too many words could get in the way.
"Her mother hasn't visited in years." He looked up, and she saw her own understanding reflected in his eyes. "It's for the best. Really."
She nodded. At least she'd enjoyed loving parents as long as they lasted. She'd heard tell that some mahs and pahs were less than they should be.
"Tomorrow, I need to go to Twilight Sparkle. I need to see if she can magic me back home."
Applejack nodded. "That sounds wise, but don't worry yer handsome head about it tonight, okay? Your filly is doin' jes fine with her aunty. You won't do her any good by staying up all night and beating yerself up about it."
He gave her a weak smile of desperate relief. "Thanks."
"I'm just telling you what you already know," she said, patting him on the back. "Now why don't I grab you some apple dumplings from the oven?"