Rule Number One: Give the patient what they want
~Excerpt from the guide to Memory Wishers, by Twilight Sparkle
"Doctors Tradition and Regret to the assignment office please."
The intercom made itself known to the two doctors in question as they sat in the employee break room, sparsely populated by less than a dozen staff members and shared by a large pool table at which a unicorn and a pegasus were half-way through a game. At the sound of the intercom, the pegasus, who was aiming for the final ball on the table, jumped slightly, tapping the ball and missing the black by a mile. He let out an annoyed groan as the unicorn took the cue from his grasp before using her magic to pot the black without showing any effort whatsoever, laying the cue down on the table afterwards and glancing back at her opponent.
"Are you coming or what, Regret?"
He let out an annoyed grunt and followed after his companion, his bad mood already being forgotten as the prospect of a new job took over his thoughts.
"Soooo…” he started speculatively, “what do you think we're going to be doing this time? Visiting another duke maybe?" he asked as they entered a room full of lockers, making his way towards a locker at the far end of the small room while the unicorn stopped in front of a locker much closer to the door.
"Maybe; or maybe it's going to be another aged stallion wanting a bit of peace in his final days. You know it's a mixed bag," came the exasperated reply as both lockers opened simultaneously, regardless of hooves or magic. Both ponies drew out a lab coat from their respective lockers.
"Or maybe it'll be another super awesome pony like we had last week,” the one with 'Doctor Regret' on his badge replied, “When he wanted to give us complete control over his life."
"Or another foal, cut down in their prime as they ask for what they could have been. Don't get your hopes up just yet," the unicorn with her own badge – proclaiming her to be 'Doctor Tradition' – finished, walking out the locker room with companion in tow.
They reached the front desk moments later, curiosity nibbling at both of them now. A bland mare with horn-rimmed spectacles was sat behind the desk, sorting out numerous piles of paperwork as the two approached her.
Flashing Honoured Tradition a smirk and a wink, Final Regret slid along the desk with a – what he thought was – smooth, "Hello there gorgeous, what have you got for us today."
The mare looked up, bored, and simply knocked out his elbow from under his head, causing him to flop against the desk and onto the floor, letting Honoured move forwards instead.
"Doctors Tradition and Regret, we hear you have an assignment for us?" she said, rolling her eyes to herself as Regret groaned from below her.
"Folder's over there, you know the drill,” came the flat reply. Not that Honoured could exactly fault her for that. She could sympathise about the nine-to-five desk job that had idiots like her co-worker coming in to visit every now and again. She nodded her thanks to the receptionist before lifting the folder up with her magic and giving the prone stallion a kick to get him up. He let out another groan and used the proffered hoof to help himself up, sending a final glare to the receptionist before moving onwards down another corridor.
After a few more moments of trotting along in silence, Regret spoke up, "So… what's in the file?"
Honoured rolled her eyes, "You know company policy, we can have a look when we get to the study rooms."
"Never understood that.”
Smirking, Honoured let her eyes roll once more as they continued on their way to the study rooms. The company had made its guidelines very clear; employees were to keep to their own files so as to maintain customer confidentiality; not that the gossip didn’t get passed around sooner or later. But then the gossip was almost always passed around after the assignment had been completed.
They continued down the sterile passage in silence, the only sound being that of the sharp click and clack of hooves on the marbled floor. Eventually they reached a nondescript door on the left and slipped through into a small room with a table and around five chairs in the middle. Honoured continued straight to the table, placing the folder in the middle as Regret flipped a sign on the back of the door to ‘In Use’, then made his way to an unoccupied seat next to Honoured.
“So…” Regret said impatiently after a few seconds of further inaction, waiting on his partner to open file.
Honoured just shook her head slightly, smirking, before she drew the folder towards them and flipped it open, withdrawing a single sheet from the stack within. “Ok, let’s see,” she started, her voice business-like and brisk, “mare, eighty-three years old-”
“Anypony famous this time?” Regret interrupted.
Honoured ground her teeth silently before she unclenched her jaw and looked down the page. “Looks like a Miss Twilight Sparkle,” she answered, trying to keep her voice level, “Ring any bells with you?”
Regret shook his head solemnly, “Then again,” he said thoughtfully, “that doesn’t mean much with my celebrity knowledge, what does it say her previous occupations were?”
Honoured’s brow creased as she flipped the page, then her eyes widened as she read the ‘Previous Occupations’ list. She silently levitated the sheet over to Regret and held it there as he read the three lines.
Student of Princess Celestia
Element of Harmony: Magic
Founder of Magical Memories plc.
“That’s certainly a CV…” Regret said after a low whistle, “So we’re going to see to the boss’s last wish? Talk about bragging rights.”
Honoured shot her colleague a look as she withdrew the sheet from his view again, scanning more of it, “You know what policy states, no-pony is different from another, it’s just another name when it all comes down to it.”
Regret waved his hoof in the air non-committally, “Yeah… but this is the boss, the one who made all this stuff and started it up; that counts towards bragging rights if I know anything,” he finished, puffing out his chest.
“That remains to be seen,” came the snarky reply.
Regret blanched and glared at Honoured who was carefully ignoring the glare she was attracting. “What’s her wish anyway?” he asked once he was sure he wasn't going to snap, “Someone like her, I wonder what she regrets.”
Honoured nodded thoughtfully, a vague noise of agreement echoing across as she withdrew another piece of paper from the folder and scanned it. Then scanned it again, flipped it, flipped it again, and re-read every word.
“Something wrong?”
Honoured shook her head slightly, her features faintly bemused as she passed the sheet over, “Not so much wrong as vague…” she admitted, “Here; see if you can puzzle it out.”
Regret took the sheet and scanned the only words on the page:
What if I’d said yes?