//------------------------------// // It Begins // Story: Discord’s Out of Universe Discotheque Karaoke Bar Boogaloo // by Cirrus Sky //------------------------------// The neon sign buzzed into life, flashing its harsh false light through the darkness. DOUDKB it read in hyper-pink, a neon tube Draconequus danced beside it. The whole monstrosity was hoisted above a strange looking building, it looked as if Stallion Dali and Mare C. Escher had started drawing a roller rink and got bored halfway through and threw in a bowlarama, diner and bounce house to finish it off. As unusual as this piece of architecture was, it could not be the strangest aspect of the area. Or to be precise, lack thereof. This singularly most outlandish building sat upon a spit of earth suspended in nowhere and nothing. Darkness stretched across the plane, marking it out as a construct within a void. As the sign reached full brilliance all the other lights switched on at once, two dozen windows six spotlights and a laser array filling the blackness with lurid colour. Music began to blare out, heralding the advent of sound. “Now all I need is customers....” A voice chuckled into the void. -- In Canterlot Palace, Princess Celestia Monarch of the Day and Steward of the Sun stood upon her balcony and set the sun. Beside her, Princess Luna Monarch of the Night and Sheppard of the Moon set her satellite in motion, allowing day to segue into night. “It’s been a long day Lu, I think I should turn in early.” Celestia yawned. “Do you mind?” “Not at all sister, from what I gather today was a tiresome day for all. Not one petitioner has made appointment with the night court.” Luna chuckled a little. “Normally I would be unimpressed with such an occurrence, but I have a few plans that would have otherwise been waylaid by politics.” She smiled and nuzzled her sister. “Goodnight dear sister, do sleep well.” Luna withdrew from the balcony and left to her own devices. Celestia took one last look at the sunset they had created and settled to her bed. -- In Ponyville a group of young mares parted ways in the town square and trotted home. Each completed their evening routines and settled into bed, well apart from a certain purple unicorn. She stayed awake reading until she fell asleep on her bed with her muzzle planted firmly in a book. -- A long way away from Ponyville a travellers wagon was halted in a small clearing. The sleepy owner had wrapped herself in blankets and was making her way to a land of slumber. -- Somewhere that was virtually nowhere, but not quite nothing. A someone floated adrift in non-existence. She was well and truly alone and certainly not happy with the situation. -- The night was well underway when its princess retired to her own quarters, she decided to take some sleep and be able to spend extra time during her sister’s day without fatigue. -- A dark chuckle split the place with the strange building. “My, I have written up quite the guest list. Let’s call them all in, ready boys?” a roar of agreement came from within the structure and a loud claw snap echoed across the blackness. -- All across Equestria sleeping ponies stirred a little before falling into a deeper slumber. To anyone who might find them, it would be impossible to awaken them for the duration of the night. They had been taken somewhere far away. -- Princess Celestia was dozing peacefully when a murmur of noise and activity, unusual to hear from her private chambers, awoke her. What she saw was far from the expected. She was sat on a low selection of large cushions in an unfamiliar room. Her innate sense brought about the shocking realisation that not only was she not in her own room but she was in fact not even in Equestria. She was about to do something rather un-regal when a familiar voice cut through the gloom. “Where are we!” Twilight Sparkle shouted. From what Princess Celestia could see, her faithful student was stood amongst her friends, each in varying states of wakefulness. Pinkie Pie was stood rigid with her tail moving similarly to a compass needle. “We sure aren’t in Ponyville anymore.” The ever chipper earth pony chimed in. “Or even in Equestria!” She gave a little jump, “Oh hey princess! My Pinkie sense was telling me somepony was watching me! I never expected it to be you though!” Princess Celestia smiled and waved to the energetic filly. Upon hearing the name of her mentor, Twilight shot as if fired from a cannon to her side. “Princess! Oh, I am so glad you are here! Wherever here is...” She nuzzled close to her teacher. Now properly woken, her friends joined them. “Hello my faithful student, my little ponies.” She gave a warm smile and gestured the others closer. “Sister!” Luna cantered over; it seemed she had been brought to this strange location also. “We are not within our lands at all.” The blue alicorn said gravely. “I regarded the stars and none are my own. I fear we have been taken further than anypony has been before.” She too sat beside Princess Celestia. “Well I can tell you one place you are not.” A voice snarled from the shadows. A wisp of blue mane preceded her, but everypony in the small group recognised the tones. From the darkness a black alicorn, though without her armour, strode. “Nightmare Moon!” Twilight jumped to her feet and teleported, interposing herself between the malevolent being and the Princesses. Applejack and Rainbow Dash swiftly joined her. “Did y’all do this to us? Take us from our beds to this strange place?” Applejack asked angrily. “No fools.” The mare growled. “I too was brought here, plucked from the forsaken nothingness whence you banished me.” She glared at the assembled ponies. “Although this is a gladdening change to endless empty blackness and soul searing isolation.” She stamped a hoof angrily. “I can assure you this is not there. So now you know of one less possibility.” She turned heel and stalked away from them. An air of “I know when I am not welcome” pervaded the atmosphere around her. “So, if we aren’t in Ponyville, Canterlot or you know, Equestria at all. If Princess Luna says we aren’t even somewhere in her sky... Where are we?” Rainbow puzzled aloud. Twilight began pacing and muttering. “That sounds like my cue!” A voice, sinister in its familiarity if not the tone or words. The entire room lit up to reveal a large lounge area, at which the small gathering of somewhat familiar faces was at the back of. On one side blaring music and flashing lights escaped through an archway. Opposite that was a second archway that led to a much quieter space. The farthest side of the room was wholly occupied by a bar. Stood in the centre of the room was Discord. “Discord! What do you think you are doing!” Princess Celestia shouted angrily, standing in an instant. Luna joined her, poised for action. “Darlings, do calm down! All this anger isn’t good for the heart you know.” The draconequus grinned and winked. “I decided you all needed a break from the humdrum, a holiday from the everyday, a vacation from all that is dastardly decidedly dreary!” He did a little tap number and summoned a top hat and cane to match. “I thought to myself, Discord old boy, those poor ponies are so stuck in the ruts they call life. I think they deserve a night to hang loose and have some fun. So I built myself a nice little place in a pocket dimension and called in all my favourite ponies and some other shmucks to fill the gaps.” He gestured around the lobby at the assembled ponies and began pointing with his cane. “So Welcome, one and all, to Discord’s Out of Universe Discotheque Karaoke Bar Boogaloo!” Several strange little imps in waiting outfits ran out and bowed. “Oh, meet the staff,” the draconequus waved dismissively at the odd creatures. “Over there is the disco, right through that arch is the karaoke and over at the far end is the bar.” He pointed sharply. "Now it's time to begin. Welcome one and all!" ~~ The lights come on The set is down The curtain's flown away To all you creatures of the night I say it's time we play We'll show you things That in your life You'd never dreamed you'd know So now before the ghosts arrive It's welcome to the show Minstrels, kings, explorers Fantasies on order Ghosts and dreams awakened Stories long forsakened The minstrel and the sorcerer Are switching their disguise The jester drinks and starts to think That he alone is wise The governor and journalist Exchange a judas kiss And now before the song is done The plot begins to twist Ghosts and lost explorers Fate with all her daughters Saints and hopeless sinners Wise men in their winters Know Welcome to the show Welcome to the show Welcome to the show Welcome to the show ~~ He tipped his hat to the watching ponies and grinned before taking an even larger bow. The assembled ponies scuffed their hooves and looked around, not sure how to react. The only one not conforming to this was a certain pink mare. “So where’s the boogaloo?” Pinkie Pie asked, hopping on one leg. “I wanna see a boogaloo.” “Dear Pinkie Pie, the boogaloo is all around us.” He winked. “Now, I’ve got some business elsewhere, not Equestria!” He shouted, a little shocked at the flaming reaction from the solar monarch and her protégé. There was a pause and he blasted them with a fire extinguisher, “You’ll set of the sprinklers like that” he tutted. “As I was saying, there is other business I have elsewhere with a certain fuddy-duddy captain and his crew, so enjoy yourself! Once the night is done you should all wake up where I took you from.” He grinned widely and faded away, his teeth first and slowly gone until all that remained was a pair of tap shoes, a hat and a cane. “So this is a big party from Discord for us?” Pinkie asked aloud, looking from face to face. “I like parties...” She gave a hopeful smile to Twilight and the Princesses, dripping with foam until a burst of magic dispersed it. “He didn’t seem like he was lying...” Applejack said guardedly, “Ah woulda noticed it, after his last little trick.” She narrowed her eyes in recollection at their last encounter. “We’ll, take a look around...” Twilight conceded, once again surveying the lobby with a mixture of concern and anticipation. A pink blur shot off. “Wahooooooo!!!!” Pinkie shouted at the top of her lungs, zipping around at high speed. Within moments she had returned to her friend’s side. “Looks neat.” She grinned. “The Disco is a bit Funky Town for my taste but Cranky and Matilda were enjoying it they scored a six with some pretty impressive moves! Then there’s the bar full of all the drinks I can name and even more I’ve never even heard of!” She took a deep breath but her mouth was sealed by four different magical auras. “Please don’t list them all.” Twilight, Rarity, Princess Luna and Princess Celestia all said at once, the monarch of the sun rubbed her forehead. “Why don’t we take a look in the karaoke room?” Princess Luna said, trying to keep some eagerness from her voice. “Many of the others have entered already but I do not hear any music. We may get first selection!” She jumped a little and made her way to the archway. “Alright, I think we could try that...” Twilight said. The cautious group approached the karaoke area with trepidation. Although they all knew of such things, Ponyville had one small establishment that Pinkie Pie was known to frequent and Canterlot had at least three that Luna could name from memory, it was still all provided by Discord. Twilight cast a spell into the room that zipped and spun around like a firework. After pulsing brightly twice it returned to the librarian and flickered out. “Nothing seems out of the ordinary.” She said, nonplussed . “Well, why don’t we try out the equipment?!” Pinkie jumped for joy and flung herself across the room to the control console. Her friends followed quickly, worried at what she might trigger. “Ooo, look at the selection!” With her blue eyes popping and a ludicrous smile she hustled the other five onto the platform. “Hey, Pinks! Watch the wings!” Rainbow yelled indignantly, to a chorus of squeaks, squawks and groans from the other herded ponies. “We have to be ready for the group number! It’s the best way to start off any karaoke night!” The earth pony shouted, organising the group into a pose as the automatic light array faded prior to the beginning of her selected track. ~~ Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide No escape from reality Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy Because I'm "easy come, easy go" Little high, little low Any way the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me Mama, just killed a man Put a gun against his head Pulled my trigger, now he's dead Mama, life had just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away Mama, ooo Didn't mean to make you cry If I'm not back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters Too late, my time has come Sends shivers down my spine Body's aching all the time Goodbye everybody - I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth Mama, ooo - (any way the wind blows) I don't want to die I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all I see a little silhouette-o of a man Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the Fandango Thunderbolt and lightning -- very, very frightening me Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Figaro -- magnifico! I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me He's just a poor boy from a poor family Spare him his life from this monstrosity Easy come easy go -- will you let me go? Bismillah! No! We will not let you go! -- Let him go! Bismillah! We will not let you go! -- Let him go! Bismillah! We will not let you go! -- Let me go! Will not let you go! -- Let me go! Never! Never let you go! -- Let me go! Never let me go! -- ooo No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Oh Mama mia, Mama mia, Mama mia! Let me go! Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me! for me! for me!! So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye So you think you can love me and leave me to die Oh baby -- can't do this to me, baby Just gotta get out -- just gotta get right outta here Ooh yeah, ooh yeah Nothing really matters Anyone can see Nothing really matters Nothing really matters to me Any way the wind blows... ~~ The six friends collapsed in a fit of giggles and high-hooves, Princess Celestia laughed and waved as a smiling Luna extinguished a dancing flame she had raised somewhere through the second verse. A mismatched clap from the wings caught everyone’s attention. “Brava! Brava! That was certainly impressive ladies; I didn’t know you had it in you.” Discord sat sprawled on a lazy-boy in a raised area just out of view from the main room. “Discord! I thought you’d left.” Twilight growled and lit her horn. The draconequus waved placating hands. “Twilight, Twilight... I did for a while but that old stick-in-the-mud is far too boring to occupy all my time. Which is why I came back here to see if any of you would sing!” He sat up a little tidier in his seat. “I have no ill will against you, tonight anyway. I just wanted to throw a little soiree for you hardworking folks back in Equestria.” He shrugged. “You can’t tell me that wasn’t fun.” “It was a little fun...” A tiny voiced Fluttershy put in, “I mean... I enjoyed myself when we were all singing.” She pinned the draconequus with a grade-A stare, Discord visibly paled and rushed to cover his eyes “you better not be playing nasty tricks though.” “Of that I am very aware... So please turn off the stare?” He peeked between his claws and relaxed as the yellow pegasus withdrew. “Really, tonight is for some fun for you lovely little ponies with some entertainment, harmless entertainment, from me.” He gestured widely. “So what do you say?”