//------------------------------//
// Hunt for the Muffin Bandit 
// Story: I want my MUFFINS! 
// by xXQw3rtyXx 
//------------------------------//

     Derpy trotted about Ponyville, watching as dozens of ambulances drove about, picking up any pony who might have been injured. She felt kind of sorry, but her anger to whoever took her muffins overcame her sorrow. She flew here and there, looking for whoever stole her muffins. She passed Rainbow Dash, who was hiding in a tree, snickering as Derpy flew about, flying into trees and rocks every couple seconds.

"Derpy, so stupid! AHAHAHAHA!" Dash watched as Derpy flew into a stone pillar, and cracked it. "No wonder she's an idiot," Dash pondered. She had Derpy's muffins with her, quietly munching on them, like this was some first row seats in an ampitheater. Derpy looked Dash's direction, and Dash had nothing to do, but stick her head back into the leaves. She moved some leaves, and created a small eyehole for her to peep through. Lucky for her, Derpy had not spotted Dash's rainbow colored mane. 

After another five minutes of hysterical laughing and hiding, Dash decided to fly back up to her floaty mansion thing. She couldn't watch TV, so she decided to take out the old laptop that had been in her closet for a couple months. She dusted off the rainbow cover, and saw her faded face looking at her, a huge smile on the snout. Dash lyed down on her cloud bed. She opened the cover, and switched the machine on. Dash opened an internet browser, and saw that the recent screaming was a headline. She watched live video coverage. They were doing an interview with Twilight, who was lying down, bandages around her forehead and hooves, a cast on her right hind leg, and she was on a stretcher. The newscaster held the microphone by Twilight's snout, "It was the loudest thing I ever heard, five times. It was so random, then, my lab slash treehouse slash library thing just exploded when all the glass in the room broke. I guess the nitrogen oxide mixed with lithium does not combine with oxygen, and about the other 50 liquid elements around it." They turned the camera to Big Mac, with a mask on him. Applejack was trotting besides him as they pushed the stretcher along, and kept saying sorry. They came to Rarity, who was applying bandages around her injured hoof. "I have absolutely no idea what that was, and I don't think I want to," Rarity said, blinking her eyelashes a couple at the camera. This, this is exactly the kind of thing Dash hated. Fluttershy was on next. She seemed to be missing an arm, but really, it was behind her. She was crying, alot. Dash was surprised that she hadn't ran out of liquids yet. The camera was on her, and she kicked it with her hind legs. The screen was on that screen with rainbow bars going horizontal and vertical with the black bar in the middle that said, "Sorry, but we have techinal issues right now." A couple minutes passed, and Dash just stared at the screen, thinking how very wrong she sinned. She grabbed the box of Derpy's muffins, and downed some more. The live footage came back on. It was Vinyl now, with Octavia next to her. She seemed to have a broken hoof, above all things, a turn table, "Save my Harry! Please! He was my favorite! It should have been me! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! ME I SAY!!! MEEE!!!!" Vinyl was groveling on the dirt, weird how she did that when she had a broken hoof. The newscaster and her cameraman walked away from that melodramatic scene, and further described the damages. Trottingham, apparently where these muffins were made, was on fire, and Sweet Apple Acres no longer had a barn. Derpy ran into the camera, said sorry, and flew off. She had many injuries from running into stuff.

Dash slammed the cover of her laptop, and threw it into a corner, where it broke, and Dash left it to rot. She felt sad, all the damage she did. "But Trottingham Muffins are the best!" Dash whined. She om nommed the rest of it, and crushed the box, and threw it out the window. "Why me? What did I ever do?" Dash closed her eyes, and instantly fell asleep. She dreamed that Derpy found out that she stole the muffins, and Derpy dropped Dash off a cliff. Dash had no wings, and couldn't fly. She shot up in bed right before she hit the ground, and hit her head on a something above her. Derpy was standing over here, blocking the morning daylight. 

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Dash screamed like a little filly, "oh, just you, whew." Then, her heart started to race once she realized why she might be here, but she Derpy didn't look angry at all.
 "Uhh... Derpy? Why are you here?" Dash asked. Derpy held up the box of the muffins. Dash's heart raced faster. "My box of muffins fell on me, but it was empty. It fell from the sky, so I'm asking you if you've seen any pegasus eating any muffins?" She looked down at Dash, her eyes unalined, yet she still seemed to see perfectly. "Uhhh... nope!" Dash blurted out, and quickly dashed away. She flew right through the wall of her mansion thing.

"Whew, that was close!" Dash brushed a sweat off her forward as she rested on a fluffy cloud. She took off a chunk of the cloud, and threw it at somepony. The pony looked up, and Dash saw it wasn't a pony, or atleast, didn't think it was. The face was all shadowy, then again, it had no face. This was stranger than the time Cadence pulled that mean prank on her, and made her rage. The "thing" looked away, and kept on trotting. "What the?" Dash rubbed his head, "oh well." She kept throwing puffs of cloud at ponies. Most ponies thought it tickled, and felt good. Others said that it would kill them if she kept throwing it at people. She pulled off another chunk, almost through it, and saw that there was a muffin lodged on a side of the puff. It dawned on her, she forgot to eat one. She quickly stuffed the puff with the muffin deep down her throat. 

Dash saw Derpy beating up a random pegasus, probably accused of stealing her muffins. She saw, with her expert eyesight, that the certain pegasus had some breadcrumbs around his snout. After Derpy finished beating her up, she beat up the next pegasus that flew by. Dash had to fix this, now, but how?

She had to come up with a plan, before everyone died by Derpy.