Men.
Lunatics, the lot of them.
And that goes double for stallions.
It took the combined efforts of myself and Erishy to get Julien away from packing and up into the costume room. I mean, Jackie stayed up all NIGHT working on those things! The least he could do was....
...alright, I guess he was being helpful with the packing... thing.
I sighed as I looked into the room. "....and she goes for the gossamer gown. Oh whatever." Exercising my newfound telekinesis, I pulled the dress off its statue... thingy. Out of the corner of my eye, I glanced a familiar black coat on a hanger. "Hey, where's Reid?"
"Probably getting changed in private. I don't blame him." Erishy took the time to examine her outfit, blushing and grinning at Jackie's expertise.
"Painted, you mean." I rolled my eyes. "Remember what Jackie--"
"EEEP!"
Ah, there was the pink pony. I trotted up to the restroom door with a smirk. "Jackie! Don't feel him up, that's lesbianism and arguably bestiality!"
"You have a problem with those?" my friend called back.
"No on the gay, maybe on the animal!" I shot an amused glance at Julien while slipping into Arwen's gown."Does it count if we can think?"
The stallion flinched, either from the question or the armor that Erishy was helping slip onto him. "I am not touching that issue, not even for fun. I really don't want to think about it."
"Well, somebody has to," I pointed out, crowning myself with a movie-accurate tiara. "Whole new world and all that."
"It's been touched on in loads of fics, a few of mine included," Reid called out from the bathroom. "Multispecies is generally considered fine if both parties are consenting. Heck, I've even heard of YEEEEP!"
"I know it tickles, just hold still!"
"Trying! Anyway, like I was saying, I even heard about a woman who married a dolphin... somewhere. Dunno where, but, you know... dolphins."
Erishy narrows her eyes as she straps some more armor onto the stupidly hot stallion in the room. "I suppose but it just seems... Like someone could have a relationship based on physical state more than a deep connection that way."
"Well, as long as they are consenting, I don't see anything wrong with it." He smirked as he glanced toward the shut door. "But I don't think Reid is consenting to anything in there."
"Excuse me, this is fully consenting," Reid objected. "I have worn makeup before."
"Really?"
"Yeah, back in high school. Theater. I wasn't EEEE! I wasn't on the stage, but I was handing out tickets. My job was to say 'Pleasant dreams' in this really creepy, monotone voice, and the makeup plus the red robe and hat made EEEHEEEHEE THAT TICKLES!"
"I know, I know, just hold STILL!"
"I am trying, really! Anyway, so there I was with a white mimeface, red robes, red hat, staring at everyone passing by and wishing them Pleasant Dreams ominously.... and of course the play was Actor's Nightmare."
I rolled my eyes at the antics that Jackie and Reid were apparently getting up to. Heh, men. Speaking of which, Julien was fully armored now, in what I had to admit was a very well-adjusted suit. Of course he was very deliberately looking off at something uninteresting, which of course meant that he had been looking at me until I glanced over.
Really? Really? Either stare at my flank or don't stare at all!
I decided to take the situation into my own hands. Hooves. Whatever. With an exaggerated sway in my step, I draped myself over him and started to tighten various parts of his costume. Erishy was putting her own costume on....
"Wow, Erishy, that certainly looks fetching on you!"
Evil of me? Yes. But ooooooh so satisfying.
"Why thank you!" The pegasus twirled around in her corset and skirt. "I really like it, Jackie did such a great job, and I can't wait to see how she does my feathers."
"She looks great," Julien whispered, "but she doesn't even compare to your beauty." Oh for the love of...
"And the lace, I always thought lace was scratchy but she found some that is soft, imagine that!"
I smirked. "Yeah, Jackie's always been great with finding--"
With a small burst of magic, I hitched up Julien's pant to his chest.
"--soft things."
Score one for the ladies. I glided out of the room, smiling at my triumph. Of course, he decided to walk out after me even though he was wincing with every step he took.
"...could you please stop with the pet thing? It's kind of freaking me out."
"I'm not acting like a pet, I'm acting like a husband who knows his wife. If I'm not around when Cadance fuses with you, then I will be in a ton of trouble." Julien winced a bit as he adjusted his pants. "Plus I know that you won't ask for comfort until you absolutely have to. And lastly, you are the sexiest thing on the face of two worlds now, so following you around is more of a reward than a punishment."
"...that's still creepy." I turned away from him, keeping my eyes on my forehooves. "I'm sorry, the constant complimenting and stuff is just seriously weird."
"Sorry... But I really missed Cadance, and on top of that I really want to help you." The stallion snorted. "Sadly you seem determined to make anything I do be the wrong thing..."
It took me a moment to clue on.
"....Wait. You miss Cadance? You as..." I turned back to him with narrowed eyes. "Who are you?"
"Last night it finished, while we slept. I woke up and it was just...." He waved at his face. "Me. So..." A sheepish grin, a shrug. "...Yeah."
...no.
Nononono.
I gave him a smile. "Please. Stay here for just one minute, okay?" Smile still plastered on my face, I trotted calmly to my room, gently shut the door, and stared at a wall.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"
"Are you okay?" Instantly he was outside my room. "No... You aren't okay... Should I go get Ginny? She’d probably be better at comforting you..."
I swung the door open, giving him a serene smile. "No, I'm fine, just fine! I am completely and totally calm and anybody that says otherwise is lying, okay? There is no need to panic. I'm just processing things. That's all."
I was smiling, right? I looked normal and collected and why was he looking at me like that?!
"Linda, is anything wrong?" Of course Ginny and Harold would show up then.
"Nothing. Nothing is wrong. Nope. I'm just a teensy tiny bit stressed. I just need to relax."
"....would you like a hug?"
I stared at Ginny for a moment. Was I really...? "...yeah sure, okay."
I have to admit, the girl can hug just right... just tight enough to reassure me, and not so tight as to constrain me. It really is a relaxing experience...
"Sorry, I'll just..." The stallion backed away awkwardly. "Go do something somewhere else." He turned and trotted off, his head held low.
I belatedly realized that I had just had a freakout and run from the guy who triggered it.
"....aw crap." Breaking from Ginny's hug, I galloped after him. "Julien! Shining! Sorry, whatever... Look, It's not your fault, okay? Just--I don't know. Can... can we just....?"
"Can we just pretend like it isn't happening?" He whirled around to face me, concern all over his features. "Because that isn't working Linda."
"No! That's not what I meant. I just, I... I just..." I flailed desperately with my wings, trying to figure out a way to explain all my issues. "I... Irene."
Why had I said that? It wasn't her fault...
"I'm sorry, but you'll have to explain it to me." Julien sat down, giving me a gentle nod. "Take your time."
"...I.... I'm just worried that... my sister won't recognize me. I guess..."
"Do you still love her?"
"It's not that, it's... she's... sensitive. And, well... she's not well." I sighed, remembering how I'd kept my friends in the dark. "Hasn't woken up in eight days.... The doctors think she'll recover, but it'll be a while. I wanted to be there when she woke up. One of those silly, sensitive things, you know?" A wry smile played across my lips for a second. "And now, I.... My body's changed and my mind is changing. And she's.... very sensitive."
Julien put a hoof on my shoulder. "You won't be gone Linda. It will still be you, and your sister might be even worse off if Discord wins."
"Oh yes, point out the big obvious threat why don't you? This has nothing to do with him and you know it!"
"But I don't know your sister. I could say that she will understand or that she will even like the new you, but I swore never to lie to Cadance, and by extension I will never lie to you. This is confusing and scary and we don't know what will happen, but we can't tear ourselves apart over the things we can't change."
"I don't care whether she accepts me or not!" I shouted. "I just want to know if... if she's going to recognize me..."
"Well... It wouldn't be easy, but we could cast an illusion of your old self over your current self. She wouldn't be able to touch you but you would look human. I mean, if that would work."
STALLIONS.
"I'm sorry, that is all I can think of to do... Besides that, facing her openly and telling her what happened is the best course of action..."
I sighed. "....sure, whatever."
"I'm sorry. What else do you want me to say? I won't lie to you, but ill be here to help along the way..." Julien averted his gaze. "Unless you want me to leave, that is."
"I... I don't know." I sighed, sitting down and letting my own gaze fall to the carpet. "Say you'll be there-- not, inside the room, just... waiting, if it all goes.... bad. I hate relying on others but... I...."
"I promise I will be there." His forelegs wrapped around me. I stiffened instinctively, but... well, I didn't run this time. "I won't leave."
He really was... serious about this. I didn't know what to think. I'd never actually met anyone who didn't fall into either the 'just friends' category or the 'lust-filled pursuers' category...
It was insane. Insane enough that I just had to giggle.
"...Hey I just met you, and I know this is crazy, but I trust you, so trick or treating maybe?"
Julien broke the hug and gave me a look. "Doesn't that song end with the person she is chasing being gay?" He smirked. "But yes, I would love to go trick or treating with you. Then, after we take care of this press conference thing, a royal date."
I shrugged. "I just saw the meme on the internet, I don't know where it came from."
"A terrible song but hey, you just made it better somehow."
"I'm the goddess of love," I teased. "I'm bisexual." Haha, let's see how he reacted to--
"Haha! I know, just wait until you remember our honeymoon."
Huh?
"Wait what?" I stared after him as he walked off. "What?! I was joking! I was JOKING!" He didn't seriously think--
"You'll just have to speed up the merge if you want to know if I'm joking too, I suppose."
...RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH STALLIONS WHAT IS UP WITH THEM?!