//------------------------------// // Luna versus The Heat // Story: Progress // by Andrew Joshua Talon //------------------------------// Progress: Luna versus The Heat Andrew J. Talon - - - - - - - "Urggghhh..." Sundance was feeling a lot of quite irrational resentment at the sun. Not Princess Celestia, of course-Who could resent such a kind, giving monarch? But that gigantic ball of hydrogen and helium burning brightly overhead was stirring up all sorts of hatred in the normally kind hearted pony's... Heart. Her apartment was sweltering, even with all of the windows open and the fans running. She was on her couch, feebly fanning herself with one hoof while the other held a glass of lemonade. "It's like an oven," she moaned. "You know, if you got closer to the floor, it should be cooler," came Luna's voice overhead. Sundance opened her eyes and looked up to see her roommate, Princess Luna, looking down upon her. In an unusual series of events, Sundance, hoofmaiden to the recently returned Princess Luna, had found same diety/monarch as her roommate as ordered by Luna's sister Princess Celestia. It was an effort for Luna to learn how normal ponies lived after her thousand year absence. Not that Sundance resented it-On the contrary, she considered the Princess a friend. But seeing the deity above her apparently not suffering was just a tiny bit irritating. "Urgh..." She rolled off the couch, careful to not spill her drink, and pressed her chin into the wooden floor. Luna smiled at her. "Well?" "... It's not much better," Sundance decided. Luna smiled. "Heat rises, so it's only logical that the cooler air gathers at the bottom of the house," she said. "Do we have a basement?" "Yes, but it's icky and gross," Sundance said. She wiped her forehead off and some of the sweat slicked hair sticking to it with a grimace. "Though at this rate..." She looked up at her monarch curiously. "Aren't you bothered by the heat?" "Not really," Luna said. "I am a goddess, after all." "Lucky thing for you," Sundance grumbled. At Luna's dismayed look, Sundance waved a hoof. "No, no, I'm sorry Princess. It's just very hard on me. Hoyden said he'd be here with something to cool the house down hours ago but..." Luna nodded thoughtfully, and hummed. She then summoned her abacus to her telekinetic ally from her room upstairs. Rapidly, she made some calculations on it, and smiled when she came to a conclusion. Her horn glowed, and the glow enveloped her body. A few moments later, the glow receded, and Luna staggered. Sundance, alarmed, managed to push up to her hooves and rested a hoof on the side of her princess's shoulder. "You all right?" "Yes... I'm fine... I just altered my temperature sensitivity to match yours," Luna said, panting a bit. "Goodness... It is hot..." "You could have just adjusted my temperature sensitivity to yours," Sundance pointed out. "Er, your Highness." "Yes, but if I want to know how normal ponies do things, I must do them the same way as... As normal ponies," Luna said firmly. "Now... According to my knowledge of physics, in order to cool off we require a heat sink. So! Let us devise one." She turned and trotted into the hallway... And into the door. "Oof!" Sundance winced. "Are you all right?" "Just fine!" Despite the Princess's reassurances, Sundance's wince remained. Outside on the lawn of Sundance's home, Luna took hold of her garden hose and yanked it out. Sundance, now wearing sunglasses, waited on the lawn for her princess to tug it to her position. "Mmph..." Luna released the hose from her mouth and smiled. "Now. Water is a perfect heat sink for our purposes... Though if I could turn it into helium it would be even better..." "How would you turn it into helium?" Sundance asked. "Well, first I'd induce electrolysis to separate out the hydrogen and oxygen, then I'd fuse the hydrogen into helium," Luna said. "... Through fusion," Sundance said. Luna nodded. "That's right." "As in nuclear fusion?" Sundance asked. Luna blinked. She glanced up at the sun, then down at the hose. "... Water should work just fine for our purposes," she decided. "Good," Sundance said. "I'm not in the mood for a second sun, your Majesty." "Not at all," Luna said. "Now, we will need a sufficiently large vessel to hold the water in." She once again turned to her trusty abacus and did calculations, clicking merrily away. "Heehee... Oh this is fun... Click click click, I never appreciated how much fun that is!" Luna giggled. Sundance blinked behind her shades. "Uh, your Majesty?" "Fun fun fun... Ooh..." Luna trembled. "Ooh... Not good click..." She shook her head out. "Are you all right?" "Just fine," Luna said immediately. "Now, we need... Garbage bags, and duct tape, and rope and a frame of some sort. Shall we?" "Works for me," Sundance said. It took several minutes for them to get all the needed equipment out of Sundance's house, but soon Luna was tying the rope from the fenceposts surrounding the yard to the porch, and Sundance was taping several garbage bags together to form their "heat sink". When it was finished, Luna stood on the porch, and hefted up the hose. "Now, we just fill it with water," she said. With a flick of telekinesis, the garden hose turned on and began pouring cool water down the improvised slide. It gathered at the bottom of the construct, and began to fill up. Sundance watched and found a smile coming to her face. "A garbage bag swimming pool," she said. She nodded. "I like it!" "Thank you," Luna said. "I think it will work..." The hose continued to stream water, but the water level in the bottom was not very high yet. "Maybe we should go inside and wait until it's full?" Sundance suggested. "Good idea," Luna said. She laid the hose down, and trotted back indoors with Sundance. "What do we do until it's done?" "We can stick our heads in the freezer," Sundance suggested dryly. - - - - - - - Hoyden trotted down the street towards his marefriend's house, grunting under the weight of the air conditioning unit strapped to his back. It was heavy and uncomfortable and even with his water bottles he was feeling dehydrated lugging the stupid thing. A pony-pulled bus passed by and kicked up dirt and dust into his face, making him cough. But it would all be worth it... Yes, it would all be worth it in the end, his imagination said. "Oh Hoyden! Thank you for saving us from the intense heat!" His beautiful and sexy marefriend crooned, as the air conditioner did it's magic. She then wrapped her forelimbs around herself and shivered. "Oh dear, now I'm too cold!" She sighed. Princess Luna sidled up next to Sundance and nuzzled her, before provocatively licking up the length of her neck. "Mmmm... Don't worry Sundance, your goddess will keep you warm," Luna sighed as Sundance moaned. She looked over at Hoyden with a coy look. "Would you like to watch, Hoyden?" "Oh yes, yes, YES I'd like to!" Hoyden announced. "... Uh, thanks," said a filly's voice nearby. Hoyden looked for the source and saw a Pony Scout troop with a wagon full of cookies. All three stared at him weirdly. He coughed. "Uh... Nevermind." He cantered a bit faster, leaving the scouts to watch him. "Weirdo," one muttered, loud enough for him to hear. Hoyden snorted. Little punks, can't even let a colt have an imagine spot to himself... He finally arrived at his girlfriend's home and smiled. "Finally... Hm?" He blinked. Some bizarre black tarp had been set up between the fence and the porch with a lot of rope and duct tape. Water was filling up inside it. He smiled as he figured it out. "So, they built themselves a pool, huh?" He thought aloud. Already, thoughts of his two favorite mares in all the world being wet and splashing in the water and... And... No! No, focus... Focus Hoyden. Arrive as the hero now, fantasy come true later, he thought to himself. He cleared his throat. The door burst open, and Luna trotted out onto the porch happily, Abacus held in one hoof and wearing plastic wrap. She looked a bit glassy eyed and frazzled. "Abacus says it's time to go in!" She announced cheerfully. A smiling (but slightly anxious) Sundance came out alongside her. "Looks that way Princess," she confirmed. She looked out and waved at Hoyden. "Hey Hoyden!" "Hey Sundance, hey Princess!" Hoyden returned the wave. "Nice looking pool!" "Thanks! We just threw it up in a few minutes. Looks like it's done! Ready Princess?" Sundance asked. "Ready Sundance!" Luna said cheerfully. She wrapped her forelimb around Sundance's shoulders, and trotted them both forward. "Wait a second Princess, what are you-?" "WHEEE!" Luna cried, as she jumped into the improvised pool. However, with Sundance along it turned into more of a tumble, and given the angle the pool was at both slid down fast into the water up against the fence hard. "OOF!" "OW!" The splash of water hit Hoyden in the face, but he found it refreshing. He couldn't bite back a laugh at how waterlogged his marefriend and her roommate looked when they poked their heads out of the water. "Heheheheheh! Oh, that's adorable," he snickered. "Pfft!" Sundance huffed. "Laugh it up, stunt dummy!" She splashed him playfully with some water, and Luna followed suit. "H-Hey! Hey! Take it easy you two!" He laughed. He lowered his hoof from the protection of his face. "Mind if I join you?" "Not at all! There's plenty of room!" Sundance said. Hoyden set down the AC unit in front of the fence, and galloped around the fence up to the porch. Luna blinked, then pulled out Abacus and did some calculations. Her eyes widened. "Wait Hoyden don't-!" "CANNONBALL!" He cried as he jumped down and slid into the pool. The duct tape seams between the garbage bags burst, and water spilled out everywhere as though escaping from a balloon. The AC Unit was knocked over by the wave through the holes in the fence, and into the street. "Wh... What happened?" Hoyden asked. Luna cringed. "I only did the calculations required for... Two ponies, not three." "So strictly though? You didn't leave any margin for error?" Sundance asked. At Luna's wince, Sundance sighed. "Of course..." "Hey! I didn't mean to! I didn't know Hoyden would want to go into the pool too!" Luna said defensively. "Well maybe you should have thought ahead! You know? That thing you do every other time?" Sundance snapped back. "Don't you yell at me!" Luna hissed. "I'll yell at you all I like!" Sundance growled. A bus passed by, and there was a loud crunch. Hoyden looked over at the street and winced when he saw the destroyed AC unit. Oh crap... He then looked back at the fight, which had escalated to mane pulling. I can tell them later, Hoyden decided. - - - - - - - Some time later, all three of them were sitting in the living room. All three wore expressions of embarrassment, which weren't diluted at all behind the large glasses of water they gulped down. "Ah... I'm sorry Sundance... I suppose I was more sensitive to the heat than I thought I would be," Luna said. "Maybe if you'd been locked in the sun instead of the moon, you'd have been all right," Sundance suggested. Sundance winced when she said it, and began to apologize but Luna's smile stopped her. "Probably," the moon goddess admitted with a chuckle. Sundance found her smile again and laughed. "Yeah... Or turned it down just a little... Heheh... I'm sorry too." Both mares looked over at Hoyden, who was munching some spicy oats. He gulped and looked between them. "Hoyden?" Sundance prompted. "Well, you know, technically I didn't do anything wrong," he said. "Hoyden," Sundance growled. Hoyden sighed. "I'm sorry I was too... Er... Distracted by you two fighting to save the air conditioning," he said. Sundance smiled and nodded. "Accepted." "I can fix that in a moment, you know," Luna said. "Just requires a bit of magic." "That's wonderful!" Sundance cheered. "Come on, let's go!" Out the door they went to the street to recover the smashed ruin of the air conditioner... But when they got there, nothing remained. "Huh?" Hoyden asked intelligently. "Where... Where did it go?" "Oh no, no, NO!" Sundance cried. "Not now! Not here!" Luna looked around and sighed. "I guess somepony else got to it first..." "So what now?" Hoyden asked. Sundance looked to Luna. "You can clear up the basement with some magic, right?" "Well, um, yes but-" "Basement it is!" Sundance declared, dragging the shocked goddess by her horn into the house. Hoyden watched them go, then looked back at the street. "But who would have stolen a broken air conditioner?" He wondered aloud. - - - - - - - "More lemonade, Your Majesty?" Princess Celestia, Mistress of the Dawn, Goddess of the Sun and Monarch of Equestria sighed as she raised her head enough to take the end of a straw into her mouth. She sucked the sugary drink down and hummed approvingly. "Thank you," she said, settling back down on her sun chair on the wide balcony of the palace. "If I may ask, your Majesty...?" The butler began. Celestia took her sunglasses off and raised an eyebrow. "Yes Pennyworth?" She inquired of the butler pony. "This new AC unit..." He indicated the device as it happily hummed away with a wave of his head, "it seems a bit odd to procure one from your sister's home, if you don't mind me saying so." Celestia smiled. "Let's just say, Pennyworth, that I thought she needed to..." She put her sunglasses back on. "Cool off." Pennyworth sighed. "Of course, Your Majesty." - - - - - - - I'm posting only the one shots and finished story arcs of Progress to this website. Newer one shots will be on the way, as well as new chapters so keep reading!