//------------------------------// // Fame vs. Inspiration // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// A/N: Please make sure the setting in the upper right reads “Dark” and not “Light”. Thank you. Here’s to you, Butterfield Pancake. … Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, Screw Attack, and NetherRealm Studios. --- The Moment No Pony Was Waiting For Season 2 (8) Warning: This Death Battle may cause fainting from the mere descriptions of the combatants’ dashing good looks. Many characters these days seem to be concerned with how good they look and how good they look in front of a camera. For today’s Death Battle, we’ll see if one of them can put their punches where their mouth is. Rarity, the Element of Generosity in friendship. And the Kharacter that does all of his own stunts, Johnny Cage. I’m W and he’s B and it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. ---Death Battle--- Rarity -Species: unicorn -Bears the Element of Generosity -Magical specialty in finding gems -Hobby and occupation: dressmaking -Has a keen eye for detail -Sometimes blind to the big picture Last time we saw Rarity in the Death Battle arena, she gave the old narrator a new makeover and forged a partnership with Amy Rose. But for those of you that missed that hilarious result, here are some stats about her. As a unicorn pony, Rarity is naturally gifted in magic. She can levitate several objects at once and can even perform multiple tasks with said objects while her eyes are focused elsewhere. These tasks are typically focused around fashion and design. As for how useful this multi-tasking would be in a combat situation, the verdict is still out on that. Rarity is someone who takes her work as an artist very seriously. In her efforts to make her work better, she’s constantly keeping an eye on the finer and more precise details. Because of this, however, she can very easily forget the main reason she was using her charm and wit to begin with. “I was this close to getting that diamond.” “You mean ‘getting rid of that dragon’.” “Oh, yeah. Sure.” Though, it would be a mistake to scoff her off as harmless. If push came to shove, she could control clouds filled with lightning, rain, and snow to give people frostbite on top of sunburns. That’s got to sting like a mother! Additionally, Rarity has apparently learned some rudimentary martial arts of the biped form. But… she… pony… martial arts? It makes no g**d**n sense! One thing is for sure: She will not stand idly by while the ones she loves are threatened. Especially if her boyfriend Spike is the one being threatened. You don’t know that he’s her boyfriend. Then how do you explain this? “Fighting’s not really my thing. I’m more into fashion, but I’ll rip you to pieces if you touch one scale on his cute little head!” Yeah, I got nothing. ---Death Battle--- Johnny Cage -An unlikely hero of Earthrealm -Movie star actor and karate master -Moveset includes the Shadow Kick, Plasmic Fireball, Uppercut, Flipkick, Split Punch, and Ball Buster -Accessory of choice: sunglasses -Sometimes puts trophies in his dead enemies -Cocky, arrogant, and quite full of himself This guy is a douche… the kind of douche you only wish you could be. After making his debut in several movie titles, Johnny Cage entered the Mortal Kombat tournament to prove that his special effects were all his own moves. He was eventually recruited by Raiden to join the forces of Earthrealm against Shao Khan. Cage loves to bust some balls! His punches frequently revolve around hitting his opponents right in the testicles. It’s even painful enough to hurt the girls he fights. And after he’s done punching their bladder, he can punch both of their legs messily off. While Johnny is an actor at heart, his karate skills are genuine. He can easily hold his own against the likes of Reptile, Baraka, and Kano. He tends to enhance his strength and speed with red and green shadow powers making it difficult for his enemies to find openings for counterattacks. And like many fighting heroes, he can shoot fireballs from his hands. His take the form of green plasma. Though, they tend to be overshot if aimed at close quarter enemies. When Johnny chooses to kill certain enemies, he has the ridiculous power to punch off their head not once, not twice, but three times in a row. That means triple the headache! Even when his whole world’s in danger, his giant ego can come off as rude and inappropriate. He knows he’s one of the best and rubs it in everyone else’s face. I like his style. “And I’m taking you down! I’m taking you down! I’m taking you out! I’m taking you out! And I’m taking you out… for dinner.” I’m totally using that on my next date. You go right ahead and do that. ---Death Battle--- All right! The combatants are set! Let’s settle this debate once and for all. And because our combatants are all about good looks, this episode has been brought to you today by Jack Threads. But for now, it’s time for a Death Battle! ---Death Battle--- The Outworld Coliseum is packed to the brim with audience members. They’re all cheering for the expected bloodshed. Shao Kahn holds a much more silent form of excitement sitting on his throne. His Netherworld ally stands nearby awaiting his next order. From the east gate, a green blur rushes in. A buff man wearing sunglasses, arm bandages, and black leather pants slide kicks into the arena. He lifts his feet back and forth in a sort of hopping motion just to show off. “I make this look easy,” Johnny Cage smirks. Quan Chi leans over to whisper to Shao Kahn, “Are you sure you want to do this?” The emperor simply scoffs at the doubt, “I know what I’m doing. Bring in the challenger.” Quan Chi lets out an inaudible sigh as a greenish flame surrounds his fist. A similarly colored portal appears just in front of the west gate. A rather befuddled pony stands upright as the portal closes. A pair of red worker’s glasses drops from her face as she looks at her new surroundings. “My word,” gasps Rarity, “The décor of this place is absolutely dreadful!” “FIGHT!” Although difficult for the audience to see through the sunglasses, Johnny’s eyebrow is raised in simultaneous confusion and insult. “Is this for real?” he asks before shouting to the sidelines, “I thought I already told my manager not to sign me up for react-to-prank videos!” “You weak, pathetic fool,” Shao Kahn shakes his head mockingly. “All right, then,” Johnny shrugs as his usual smirk returns, “Here it comes!” He glides across the field on one foot, being carried by a slight green, shadowy aura. Rarity, unprepared for dealing with speed, gets kicked in the face and recoils. Johnny’s aura switches to a red hue as he performs a backflip. His second kick sends his opponent soaring. Rarity ends up face-planting into the dirt before slowly raising her head. “It. Is. On!” she growls. Letting out a quick war cry, she briefly flies into her opponent with a couple spinning kicks of her own. In a state of surprise, Johnny quickly finds himself on the defensive. He manages to block the flurry of his opponent’s attacks with his arms crossed, though the impact of each hit slides him back another inch. Starting to get a little annoyed with his situation, Johnny conjures a green light orb in his right hand. With a cyclical arm sweep, he sends the plasmic fireball right into Rarity’s chin. The small explosion causes her to reel backwards in a daze. He follows this opening by running up and mashing down his kick attacks. The newfound pain brings Rarity back to her senses. She starts throwing her hooves out in an effort to slow down the man’s advance. The blocking is mostly successful, even though she takes another punch to the side of her head before she can find a comfortable kicking rhythm. She even manages to duck under a second ball of plasma that Johnny overshot. This is absolutely crazy! A karate master is being evenly matched by a magical pony! This is truly a fight for the ages! I never thought I’d see the day! --- A/N: Focus! --- Oh, right. Sorry. *Ahem* The clash of mixed martial arts comes to a close as Rarity jumps back. With her mouth curled in a snarl, her horn glows in a light blue aura. The arena gets darker as Johnny looks up. A checkered pattern of storm clouds blocks out the sunlight. These clouds begin to release rain and snow simultaneously. The spectators now find themselves completely frozen over while Johnny gets drenched in rainwater. Rarity alters her magical hold ever so slightly. A clap of thunder sounds as a lightning bolt makes contact with the wet Johnny Cage. Surprisingly, what suffer the most damage are his sunglasses. The shades break in two as Johnny falls onto his back. Not one to miss a single detail, Rarity trots over to the man. She leans her head down to listen for a heartbeat. In a motion faster than can be expected, Johnny’s nut-punching arm sweeps up and hits Rarity in the area between her thighs. The collision is painful enough to elicit a scream from her. With no hesitation, Johnny lifts his other fist into an upper cut once… twice… three times! I don’t know where those other two objects that look like Rarity’s head came from, but it’s clear that her actual head is now rolling along the floor. "FATALITY!" Johnny Cage stands up, takes out a spare pair of sunglasses from his pocket, and puts them on. He then proceeds to walk away from his victory like a bad***. “K.O.!” ---Death Battle--- Oh-ho, man! Here comes the hate-mail from the Rarity fan-boys! While Rarity does have some understanding of martial arts, this is most likely the self-defense that has little to no focus on actually murdering the enemy. In contrast, Johnny has been using his karate and special moves for pretty much his entire career. And he’s had plenty of practice killing his enemies in creative ways. Where do you want it: the head or the groin? Rarity had access to magic capable of manipulating the weather, which might have worked on other enemies. But Johnny’s capable of standing up against much worse conditions. I mean, if the guy can get up after getting electrocuted by Raiden the god of *eff*ing Thunder, then a little static cling from a pony isn’t going to keep him down. In the end, his superior fighting prowess and cheap punches proved to be too much for Rarity to handle. ~For it’s one! Two! Three heads! You’re dead against John…ny… Cage!~ The winner is Johnny Cage. ---Death Battle--- Don’t miss the next secret episode of The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody)! ---