//------------------------------// // Intro To Santa Destroy // Story: Random Worlds in Equestria // by ezio dementay //------------------------------// Before you ask, no, I'm not the star of this story. I'm just the narrator for this chapter. The name's Silvia. I see you want to know a bit about our little city of Santa Destroy. Santa Destroy is filled with thugs, bandits, murderers, drug dealers and a lack of policeman so it's pretty much paradise. A city of no rules, no limits and of course no expectations. Look at me for example. I was expected to be another modal with the brains of a dead man but I’m a much better person than that. I run the UAA, the united Assassins Association, which is a big sport here. It’s a good job, good pay, short hours and easy work. It’s kind of funny; the value of life here is low. Everyday there's a new kid or teen that joins the ranks and quickly gets slaughtered and yet everybody is fine with it. I just tell the assassin “Okay, you go kill him. No exceptions." and rinse and repeat till I quit. In my years of doing this job I have seen only two assassins that have not bored me. First there's my ex-husband, "Mr Sir Henry Mother Fucker" as everyone calls him. He’s a good man, even if he tried to chop me in two once. Next was his brother Travis Touchdown. Where do I even begin? He only joined so he could "get with me" if you know what I mean, he let an assassin live, (which is against the rules of the UAA) he watches anime every day, and he is the only assassin to walk away from being the king of assassins or as knobs call him " The Crownless King". He has seen the brutality of a sport were life is like water, easy to get rid of and easily replaceable. Most assassins are just men or women how want money, power or to spread a message of peace. Good luck with that. Anyway Santa Destroy in general is pretty fucked up as you can see. Killing is the norm and saving a life is very rare, and yet this city is considered the future of what's to come for all cities. Okay if you want to be an assassin, all you have to do is kill a ranked assassin and join. However, no one dares take on the current Rank Five assassin. Known as "The Pain" she crippled 37 assassins that were stupid enough to challenge her. This is bad for business so I’m going to ring up someone. *Gets out phone* "What’s up?" "It’s Silvia here." “Oh fuck. What do you want? I’ve already gotten to the top of the ranks, now what?" “I need you to take down Rank Five for me. You can't really say no to this.You know how this works Travis." “Yeah I know all that shit. Just tell me where they are and I’ll kill her or him or it or whatever." “Well that's the thing. She’s about to fight you in 3...2...1" And with that a portal opened up in Travis' TV and started to open up and suck him in. “WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU....." And with that Travis entered the world of a show that he had feared for his life in. The world of anime! Or something else. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Travis woke up and looked around to see where the hell he was. It had a lot of trees and nature stuff. There was a lake nearby and he saw that he had his beam katana with him and his sunglasses and horse shoes. "Wait, what the fuuu..." Travis saw that he had landed in an odd world from what looks like an anime or cartoon or something. He was trying to think of which one he was in. “Let’s see here. It’s not Bleach or Naruto. It’s not Poni Poni Dash due to the lack of talking salamanders, and it's not Soul Eater, that's for sure. What was that show I watched when I got high once? My little something.... Well let's see if I’ve still got my face." He walked over to a nearby river and saw that he changed shape to that of a small pony. “Whoa! Am I high?! This can't be happening! Of all the shows I could have ended up in, it just HAD to be a show with no hot anime chicks?! " He kicked furiously at the water. "And to top it all off, I'm a fucking pony. This can't get any worse." He mumbled angrily. Travis' shouting had attracted a certain pink pony. “HI THERE!" the pink pony squeeled gleefully. Travis whipped round in surprise. "Who and what are you?!" The pony looked at him sweetly.“Well, I’m a pony. My name's Pinkie Pie. I was sent here to get you." She said. “By who?" asked Travis. “By myself of course. You seem tired." “Well, a bit. What's your point?" He said irritably. "Just saying that's all. Geez, you don't have to be so rude! Just because you fell out of a portal that appeared the hell out nowhere is no excuse to be so grouchy." Pinkie Pie replied in a huff. “Look, I don't have time for this. Where's the nearest town from here?" Travis demanded. “Ponyville isn't that far. I’ll take you there if you want." “Fine." Travis and Pinkie Pie then set off to Ponyville, though Travis was still confused on what the hell was happening to him. “So Travis, what's that metal thing on your belt?" "If I tell you, will you shut up?!" “Sure." Pinkie Pie replied. “It’s a beam katana I bought of E-Bay. It’s a true assassin's weapon: it's brutal and leaves a mess." Travis explained, pulling the beam katana out of it's sheath a little bit to show the pink pony what it looked like. Pinkie Pie stopped in her tracks with a look of fear on her face.“You kill people?" She asked. “Only if they're ranked or hired by the ranked bloke or blokette. So I won't kill you." Travis replied, pushing the katana back into it's sheath. "Well okay. It’s getting dark now and Ponyville is about another two miles from here, so we will continue tomorrow. There’s a nice hill over there were we can sleep." “Well okay but the beam katana stays with me at all times." “Hey Travis, can I ask you something?" “Sure." “You said you kill people right?" “Yeah. I’ve killed hundreds of people over the course of a couple of years, and before you ask, it's for sport, not for anything else." "THAT'S HORRIBLE!" Pinkie Pie seethed. "Why do you kill people then?! Is it because you like ending people's lives, or is it for money?" "Look, you wouldn't understand. Here, you don't kill people, or ponies in this case, but where I come from, death is so common we basically said "Screw the police, let's make a sport about killing people." and I got a job out of it, so I can't complain." Pinkie Pie rolled over and said nothing else. “I might as well sleep now." Travis mumbled as he closed his eyes.