//------------------------------// // Equestria Prepares for Upcoming Sequestration // Story: The Onion: Equestrian Bureau // by The Read Later List //------------------------------// Equestria Prepares for Upcoming Sequestration Canterlot, Equestria- Hundreds of political ponies scrambled today, preparing for a sudden shift of government into a phase known as "sequestration", even though it seems that nopony has a clear idea of what it actually has to do with anything. After an economic crises that has lasted nearly a decade and left many ponies without a job and home, Princess Celestia, our main governing body, pushed for the immediate passage of Bill 192, otherwise known as the bill of mysteries. Although many have attempted to analyze the archaic text, most have failed to make it past the table of contents which boasts a lengthy 200 page list of various emendations and clauses pertaining to something we are not quite sure we understand. Many have waited with bated breath for the passing of this bill, including Congress pony Midnight Shower, who has stated: "I can say for one thing that this bill is definitely the smartest and most efficient way to cure our ailing country. It will surely find our middle class more jobs... or lower class... actually, I think it might be something about the banks. Yup, definitely about the banks." Sequestration has been dated to last until early next year, while congress has been slated to understand the true meaning of the bill immediately after.