Cadance sniffed at the pallet of arranged bouquets, inspecting them for the perfect mix of flowers. If Shiney wasn't going to propose already, she was going to do it for him. And the flowers wouldn't hurt as a 'Your fillyfriend isn't mad that it took so long that she had to propose to you' gift. Well, formally propose, they both knew that they were the perfect match; it was just a matter of who was going to pop the question first, and when.
"I'm glad that you consider my wares to be worth your time, your highness. Is there anything in particular that you like?" The shopkeeper all but danced on her hooves in nervousness, hoping that the Princess would pick already soon.
Hmm. Cadance settled upon a bouquet of pink and blue, loving how they mingled together just the same as she and her Shiney did. "Well, yes. I'd actually like-"
She swore she was going to hogtie that stupid stallion as a presence tickled her senses. Why was Shining Armor outside the shop, radiating a combination of love that seemed to include fatherly comradery and a searing need to jump her bones and love her in all the ways possible until she passed out? He was supposed to be on duty at the Solar Court! Oh... wait. Poor Shining, he must be feeling the need to prove himself to her again.
"I'm sorry, but I need to deal with my very very deeply in trouble fiancée outside. I'll come back to make a selection in a day or two." Cadance politefully dipped her head in respect to the shopkeeper before ducking out the door before the mare could protest.
Several of the sources of comradely based love disappeared as the door opened with a jingling bell, leaving only Shining Armor just around the corner. Oh, oh... that was how. He was going to simulate 'peril', before sweeping in for the Big Hero Rescue, hoping to sweep her off her hooves and into the sunset. She wasn't that much of a damsel in distress!
"Cadance! Oh, thank Celestia I found you! Princess Celestia is in Ponyville on sick leave, and a bunch of ninja have shown up in town trying to kidnap you and Princess Luna! I need to get you back to the court!"
Ninjas. He had to be running out of ideas.
Cadance decided to play along for the moment. She'd lead him on before shutting him down. She did her best to appear worried, though a hint of her grumpiness bled through into her deadpan tone. "Ninjas. Really?"
Shining sweated in his armor, and nodded to Cadance. "Yes! Ninjas!"
Ponies stopped to look at the strange scene for a moment, wondering why the guardspony was crying out about ninjas. Figuring it to be some sort of training exercise, they collectively shrugged their shoulders and continued on as if they had never stopped. Cadance raised a disapproving eyebrow, slowly making Shining Armor take a step back as he shook and nervously dripped within his armor. The princess of love made a great show of making up her mind, turning to face the castle as she did.
"Alright, let's go. And next time? Don't use guards who love you as a commander." Cadance beeped her would-be fiancée’s nose playfully as she lightened up, laughing as he tried to swat her hoof away before she could poke him again. She turned and trotted off, flicking her tail in invitation for him to follow.
Shining spluttered in protest as he trotted after Cadance, even though he knew the jig was up. "I don't know what you're talking about, Cadey!"
"Did you know that your eyes make a sort of squiggly-twitchy motion when you lie, Shining? Besides, you forgot what my special talent is. You know, part of being the princess of love is actually sensing bonds of love, and what kind of love it is. Kinda need it to keep from making mistakes, after all." Cadance ruffled her wings, feeling oddly uncomfortable as she walked. Shining's stallions (and a mare or two from the feel of it) were all still watching from a considerable distance away.
But there was something else. A funny feeling as if all the love had been eaten away from a few spots all around her. They moved too, like they were following her. It was leaving all of her esoteric senses tingling.
Shining Armor sighed as he caught up with her, tapping his hoof three times in rapid succession as he trotted alongside her. A dull red glow surrounded his hoof and faded away as quickly as it came. "You know, I wish I had known that sooner. No wonder you could always find where I was hiding. Wait. Can you feel how I'm loving you right now?"
Cadance's mane and tail bristled in surprise as she felt it, and her pink flank rocked to one side as she shoved him with her whole body to show her displeasure. Harshly, she whispered into his ear to avoid being overheard. "Bad, bad Shining! For suggesting that in public, you'll get the comfy couch for a week. We're not teenagers anymore, even if I want to be, and seriously!" Cadance looked down at herself and then over to him. "I don't even think that would work."
Shining Armor sighed, rubbing his head against her own affectionately as he quietly whispered back. "Sorry. But you're just so beautiful, Cadey-Wadey. You're beautiful, and sweet and delicate, and I just want to wrap you up in a hug and a blanket to keep you safe." Shining nuzzled her harder, snuggled up against her in apology as they walked.
Cadance sighed and leaned against him, unable to stay too mad at her colt. A chuckle bubbled up, delicately tinkling in the air as she rocked her head back. The princess of love purred like an overgrown kitten, playfully licking one of Shining's ears before whispering once more. "You know, it's true. Bribery will get you everywhere. And being such a flattering gentlecolt is more than acceptable as a bribe. Even if I don't need all that much protection since I took those fighting lessons from your other boss. I swear, you're a bigger softie than Auntie Celestia's gut."
Shining Armor looked down and back, sucking in his belly to try and look even slimmer than he already was. "Nope, nope, not soft at-Ow!" Cadance jabbed him with a forehoof, watching him squirm and take a reflexive breath. "Oh, alright, so I might need to lay off the food from Mexicolt. Though I did want to try that new place, what was it called? Taco Cerberus? It looked nice."
"It looks crazy. And you know it gives me heartburn. You big softie." Cadance poked him again, watching him squirm away from the pokes as they walked.
"I'm not a softie!"
"Soft!" Poke. "Soft'" Poke. "Soooooftie!" Pooooke! "But that's why I love you."
The duo parted through the last of the crowds, passing into the square at the junction of the main entrance to the old Canterlot Underground and the long and winding Palace Avenue. Cadance twitched as she felt the odd sensation of the voids draw nearer. She turned to look over a shoulder, frowning as she scanned the roofline and found nothing to indicate why she was getting so twitchy.
Then again, that was the only way she got any warning at all as Shining Armor fell back behind her for something. She craned her neck as far as she could to see what he was doing, catching the movements of him snorting and pawing the ground for a second. "Shiney? What are you do-Hey! Now wait just a miiiiniiUUIIieeeeek!"
Shining lifted Cadance up with his magic just enough for him to gallop under her, dropping her down to ride atop him like some sort of surf board. Cadance flared her wings to keep her balance as Shining nearly buckled under the sudden addition of her weight. And then, he galloped like he had never galloped before, rushing off laughing into the Underground with her atop his back as he ran for a secret entrance to the palace. "Hey, Cadey! Who's the softie pony now? Solid like a rock!"
"Shining Armor you big overgrown coltish brat! I'm going to snuggle you senseless when we get back!"
The colt in stallion's armor laughed with the princess he was 'foalnapping' as they galloped through the Underground. Crowds of all descriptions and kinds passed by them as they galloped, Cadance holding her wings high and sparkling as they did. Her joy infectiously spread to those around them from her glowing aura, cheering up all the ponies they saw around them. It was that perfect moment of joy, and by Auntie come flowers or not at the end of Shining's ride she was going to propose to him on the spot.
Or... you know, deal with the giant hissing creepy insect-pony hybrid thing that appeared from thin air in front of them.
"Uh... Shiney, I thought you had called them all off." Cadance reached down with her magic, anchoring herself to Shining Armor with its blue aura as he skidded to a halt before the challenging creature.
Creepy mechanical patterns could be faintly seen within its glowing blue pupiless eyes; its hole-filled legs pulsed with what looked like veins pulsating in unnaturally straight lines. Saliva dripped from its maw, and a pair of insectile wings buzzed menacingly against its black carapace. It hissed virulently once more, tensing as if it prepared to pounce.
"Cadey, it's not one of mine." Shining Armor prepared his shield spell, readying himself for battle.
Cadance tensed, remembering lessons her aunt had taught her regarding self-defense. She almost hadn't taken them at first, until she remembered what she had read and changed that fateful day. It made sense now, but she hadn't thought back then that sometimes you needed to fight to give love a chance.
The creature twitched once more, and pounced. With a loud battle cry, Cadance swung her hoof up in a vicious uppercut, catching the creature across the jaw as it flew over Shining's hastily erected barrier. Even as it sailed away to smash through a second story balcony, another appeared amidst a shimmer of air. Cadance ducked under it as it pounced at them from behind, rolling to lay flat against the ground as Shining pulsed his barrier, smashing it away in a pink flash to crush into a rock wall. The voids were all around them now, crowding into Cadance's senses as she rolled back to her hooves and pressed up against Shining, trying to think of anything to do.
"Ki-ki-ki-YAH!" Cadance grabbed Shining by the tail, slinging him and his barrier around in an arc around them. The pink wall of energy flashed before him, filling up the back road with his barrier for a moment. Several more of the creatures shrieked in pain as they were blasted away, flopping to the ground.
"Cadance!"
"Sorry, just using your shield! You're kind of attached to it!" Cadance held her future fiancée up menacingly towards the creatures, threatening them with Shining's shield.
Shining woozily tried to stay upright within Cadance's grip as she backed them away from the ambush. He couldn't tell how many of the creatures were real, and how many were just fuzzy afterimages caused by his brain still spinning like Scootaloo on a cart. He could probably get them all, maybe. "Cadance, after this, I think I need to talk to you about using other ponies as flails."
"I'll let you throw me or something."
An acrid hissing erupted behind them as the first creature fell from the balcony and struggled back to its hooves. Shining hit it with a blunt-edged barrier swinging around with his head to batter it back down to the ground, knocking it off its hooves hard enough to send it shooting down a side alley from the force of the hit. The princess of love floated Shining closer to herself as she looked around at the number of creatures rising back up from where they had fallen.
"Uh, Shiney, any ideas on how to escape?"
"I don't know. I never worked the Underground on any detail other than guarding the back entrance." Shining fired off three wedges of his barrier, sending them rushing through the enemy ranks to catapult several creatures high into the air amidst a spray of detritus.
Cadance wracked her head, trying to think of any safe place in a time of ne- Of course.
"Uncles!"
"You have an uncle down here? I thought you were an adopted orphan!"
"No, that's just what everypony calls him, C'mon!"
Cadance turned, pulsing an aura of peace as she did to try and disorient their attackers. Instead of growing dull and mellow, they drank it down like Auntie Luna would drink coffee since her return and ravenously followed the traces of her magic to try and steal it from her directly. She cried out in horror, dashing down a side street to try and escape them. Shining Armor threw up barrier after barrier in their wake as he was dragged along floating behind him like a crazy balloon.
Frustrated screams of rage echoed through the dingy and cramped streets as their attackers fought to get through.
Cadance looked left and right, slowly remembering the street patterns and did her best to use any cue from her memories to orient herself, even the tiling on the vaulted ceilings. She twisted as she remembered the street she was on, sliding against the wet pavement of marble and cobblestone awkwardly as she struggled to gain momentum traveling along a new street. Shining bounced off of her rump, paddling his hooves wildly in the air in an effort to reach the ground or control his flight.
Cadance flapped her wings to gain control over her sliding and to add to her speed as she squeezed down the tight passage. Shining bounced off the walls of the alleyway as they ran, hanging on for dear life. The junior alicorn navigated the trash cans, clotheslines, and stacks of junk and boxes with unnatural precision despite the amount of the tiny alley as she ran. She would often hop atop boxes or jump them like a racer on a hurdle track. The muted rumble of the Mountain Plaza not too far ahead forewarned her of her location, reminding her that the store in question wasn't too far away.
"Cadey, we really need to get to a main thoroughfare! It's too easy to get cornered in here!" Shining happened to look up to the section's low ceiling as he spoke, gaping in horror as he watched several of the creatures slinking out of side streets and pockets in the road to run after them clinging against gravity.
"Cadance, watch out!" Helmeted head met unprotected squishy noggin as one of them jumped upon them, Shining's Lunar-Steel helmet knocking it out cold. As another flew in from behind them, he wrapped it's head in a bubble shield to throw at a third dropping from the roof with his impeccable aim.
Cadance reacted a few seconds slower than him as she fought off tendrils of her energy being drained away by the creatures. One goldenshod pink hoof planted into a hollow in the cobblestone pavement, the pink alicorn pivoting on it as she swept her legs up and about. Gold and mithril clad hooves met chitin, winning hoofily. Cadance could feel her little trick working as the jelliness left her legs.
The creatures fell back, flopping upon the ground as if their legs had suddenly turned to rubber as Cadance stood taller, and oddly radiant. Shining bounced off of the bubble of magic he was floating in once more, sliding about until he could face her and quizzically inspect her. "Okay, I know there was magic involved, but how did you do that?"
"A trick Auntie Luna taught me. It temporarily steals their strength and passes it to me. Kinda fair, since they tried to steal mine first." Cadance stretched out her hind legs, feeling the burn from running and from the kick. "I think I could punch them with love or punch out their will to fight too."
Shining turned back to the limp creatures, his hoof twitching as he did. His gaze swiveled back to Cadance who seemed oblivious to the terrifying power she had just wielded. "Okaaaay. I didn't know you could do that. But, uh, need to get to safety and all?"
Chittering and the scraping of inequine hooves upon walls began to build up once again, the dread of the fight to come wilting Cadance's hopeful expression as it built. The pink alicorn flinched and hunched down as she took off once more, her wings clamping themselves against her side protectively. She built up speed, accidentally partially sliding up a wall from her momentum as she tried to turn around a bend in the alley. More hisses erupted all around them as black shapes peeled off the walls menacingly.
The pink alicorn hopped hoofstanding upon one foalish enough to stand directly in her path and drove it into the ground with her weight. As she flipped her body vertically over it, she kicked out with a hind hoof once more, driving it into the chin of another creature trying to fall on her from above. Her wings flared to catch herself as she began to descend from her flip, only to have another of the black creatures latch onto them and crash her into the ground.
"SHINEY!"
Shining Armor snapped a clothesline out of the wall, snapping it out with his match to wrap around the creature's neck so he could sling it off into the distance with a whip-crack of his magic. A loud clunk rocked through his armor and metallic squeaks grated on his ears as one pounced on him from behind and tried to bite through the lunar steel plate. It found itself rocketing through the air to become awkwardly pinned against a wall beneath a pink shield.
"Cadey, we need to go!"
The princess of love yanked the bubble of magic holding her guard captain to herself; keeping him close as she yanked down several lines of laundry to entangle their foes. She dashed off again, praying that it was close. The store had to be close according to her memories. Snapping and ripping could be heard from behind them as they ran, Cadance afraid to look back in fear of what she might see as she clung to the center of the alleyway.
Every building front seemed so unfamiliar as she checked them for her goal, making her wonder if she really remembered where it- Wait! There! How had it gotten into the little blind alley between those two buildings, how had it gotten there?
Inequine insectile invectives erupted in the passages behind them, startling Cadance for a moment. Shining jingled a massive ring of metal pieces next to Cadance's ear, scaring the poor princess into a yelp. He dropped the collection of wall anchors to the ground next to her as he tried to reach her to stroke her mane. "A lot of poor ponies are going to be really mad about that, but the net I wove on their laundry and clotheslines should keep those things busy."
Cadance smooched him on his smudged cheek, whispering into his ear. "I love you."
"Yeah, i get that a lot. Must be because of how awesome I am." Shining bent a foreleg, posing so he could flex a muscle trying to look tough for Cadance. The pink alicorn poked him unimpressedly with a shot off to the belly. "Hey! That's not fair unless I'm on my own hooves!"
Cadance's blue bubble of magic popped dramatically like a soap bubble around him, dropping the shield-spinning stallion on his rump for his trouble. As he rubbed his head where it had hit the ground in his fall, Cadance reached out with a hoof to help him up with her leverage. As Shining flopped back to his hooves and belly she turned back to the entrance of the blind alley worriedly even as she teased Shining further. "You're a soft and squishy awesome. Especially when it comes to love. Can you block off this alley fully?"
"Sure, but we can't stay here. We'll be trapped until the guard arrives." Shining closed his eyes as he wove a multi-layered shield that shimmered with energy between the two buildings at the entrance, choking off the alley entirely.
Cadance turned back to the back of the alley, walking towards the almost unadorned storefront at the back of it. "No, no we won't be, Shining. Welcome to Uncle's."
Shining followed her gaze, his eyes widening as he realized where she had brought them to. Icy chills shivered down his spine as he remembered the old tales his mom had told him. "Wait a minute, Cadey! I've heard of places like this, they're always bad news!"
Cadance stepped around Shining, gingerly trotting over and around the piles of old newspapers stacked up against the brick walls of the alley. She looked up into the imposing and barren storefront from where she stood, staring up into the third story window still lit above the store. The Neighpon stone facade sent just as many shivers down her spine as it had the first time she had beheld it many years before. Striding up to the small and darkened front door, the princess of love pushed it open and stepped into the gaping maw of fate knowing that the store owner would sense it.
"Cadey? Cadance wait- auuwghh, I hate this job some days." Shining galloped after her after a brief hesitation. Fearfully, he slid to a skittish halt just inside the door as he saw the impossibility within. "Cadey, it's bigger on the inside."
The front door slammed shut behind them, locking ominously in the process. Mare and stallion jumped slightly at the crashing sound, their hooves clicking delicately on the checkerboard marble tile floor. Creaking movements rumbled throughout the building as if it was leaning inwards upon them as foreboding pops rumbled through the ceiling.
"Auntie Celestia designed the place, Shiney. It's supposed to be that way. And this creepy." Cadance shivered as she lit her horn, casting a sphere of light into the room to see with. The dimmed store gloomily towered over them in the shadows cast by Cadance's spell. Even the shelves seemed to stretch on into eternity past the front counter that Cadance began determinedly walking towards. "Uncle? Uncle, I need to talk!"
Shining Armor nervously looked around, twitchily walking backwards behind Cadance as he warily watched the store. "I don't think he's home, Cadance." The creepy ancient objects surrounding them looked like things out of one of Twilie's Daring Do books. "Cadey, if Ahtazuhl or whatever he calls shows up, I think I'd teleport myself to the moon." At least the sign above the counter was pretty sensible.
TOUCH NOTHING!
ASK MANAGER FOR SHOP ASSISTANCE!
"Nice sign. You think maybe 'Uncle' blew himself up with something?" Shining chuckled to try and fight the ominous mood pervading the store, rubbing his helmet with a hoof. An odd humming caught his attention, coming from a sealed display case. A metal unicorn-looking skull within it seemed to glow with a slight green fire, not unlike the creatures that had ambushed them.
"Shining, Uncle is too careful for that. This store holds most of the stuff that Auntie Celestia doesn't want found. She trained him not to blow himself up." Cadance started ringing the service bell on the sparsely occupied counter as fast as she could in her frustration. Paying attention to Shining never even crossed her mind, or else she would have seen his trance-like movements.
The shield-stallion looked into the skull's eye sockets as a dim fire seemingly erupted within them. The strangest compulsion to come closer, to touch it bent his will to its own. He recognized the skull now, with the way that its horn cruelly and jaggedly bent and twisted, the fangs in its mouth. It was the skull of one of the creatures outside. It was encrusted in protrusions of wire and steel, in ways that would tear and gnaw at the flesh around itself. They had to be just some sort of husk around their skull. He wondered what it would feel like under his hoof, how easily the wire would bend at his will. He wanted to touch i-SMACK!
Shining jerked his hoof back from the thick glass as he recoiled from the smack. As he rubbed his hoof gingerly he noticed the wizened old stallion who still held a bamboo rod threateningly at him. "Sign say touch nothing! Goes double for you, Cadenza! You write in Blue Book of Destiny! EXACT OPPOSITE OF TOUCH NOTHING!"
"You didn't have to hit my hoof..." Shining set his hoof down as Cadance ran over.
"Uncle!"
The shopkeeper sidestepped Cadance, letting her glomp upon open air and fall to the ground. He drawled out his warning in wary tones as he stepped away from Cadance just to be sure. "No touching rule goes double for Uncle! Thought you banned from shop! I see no rule means anything anymore since you wrote on wings."
"I, uh, don't know anything about what you're talking about! I ascended from fulfilling my cutie mark to its perfect form, not by rewriting my destiny. That was only about that mess before my wedding." Cadance looked suspiciously guilty as she rolled onto her back, scuttling back slightly at the evil eye Uncle gave her.
A loud thump rattled echoingly against the door, followed by an uncountable swarm of further thumps along the storefront wall. Shining dashed over, throwing his weight against the door to block it as the thumps rapidly increased into a drum beat of attempts to get in. He called back over his shoulder to them as he cast yet another shield upon the stone wall. "They somehow broke through the outer shield!"
Uncle raised an eyebrow angrily as he glared down to an apologetically smiling Cadance. The pink alicorn let a weak 'heh-heh' escape her lips as she looked into his gaze. "You were the best of a lot of bad choices?"
"Who did you lead here?"
A chitinous black hoof burst through the door wrapped in the pink glow of Shining's shield. It groped about wildly, scraping at the wood of the door before Shining could grab the nearest heavy object and smash it with a heavy thud. The holed hoof withdrew alongside a snarl as the shield stallion pressed his back and another new layer of shielding against the door.
"Aaaiiiiyaaaah! You led changelings to the shop!?! Almost as bad as writing in Book of Destiny!" Uncle ran behind the counter, gripping a massive drawer in his teeth as he began to withdraw it and the heavy scroll within it. "Help Uncle with shop relocation spell, then both of you banned forever from shop!"
Cadance nodded, helping the old pony by floating out the massive scroll and rolling it out flat on the marble floor. Then she spotted the second hoof pushing through a section of the door. "Shiney, on your right!"
Shining looked over wide-eyed, seeing the hoof and head squirming through the thick wooden door and magic shields. He gruntingly raised the massive hammer he had picked up earlier, deftly jabbing with the handle in his grip. The changeling recoiled from the pain of getting poked in its glowing eyes; Shining flipping the hammer in the break provided so he could nail it back out of the store in a brilliant flash of pink light. Exactly in the same spot on the other side, another popped through, earning a swing of the hammer to fling it screaming back out of the alley. "Hurrying would be nice!"
Cadance spilled out the box of candles she had collected before Uncle. They flipped upright in the aura of her magic as fast as she could, letting the old shopkeeper place them in their positions on the parchment spell circle. Fizzling green flame burned over her head, dissipating as its energy was sucked into the structure of the shop. Cadance turned her head back, firing multiple bursts of energy back. "What's next?"
"Scroll of Judging. Shop will guide you, Back Row Number Twelve!" The wizened old shopkeeper laid his hooves on Cadance, smooshing her cheeks slightly as he turned her head to face the direction of the item in question.
She squeezed through his grasp, galloping off to fulfill the fetch request he had given her. Ducking into the mass of 'lost' items and secrets dipped her into darkness and forced her to light her horn in order to see her way. Eldritch tomes filled shelves to the brim, skulls of all sorts of creatures buzzed and rattled in their glass cases as the shop was attacked, jars and vials of strange and ominous oozes bubbled from her aura disturbing them as she ran deeper and deeper into the great secret archives. She counted off in her mind the rows and shelves she passed in her quest for the scrolls.
Front stacks, front stacks, the wide alley stretching off into seeming infinity between the front and back, back rows, back rows, back chaotic vault, back ro- there it was! Cadance fell onto her side as she tried to skid to a halt, sliding across the floor behind Starswirl's Elder Scrolls and the Discordian Scrawlings. Scrambling to her hooves, she rushed down the Row of Prophecy and Choice (or so the plaque on the front of it said). A spotlight flickered on up ahead, illuminating a massive and utterly filled rack of scrolls. Cadance thought it was a wild guess, but she was willing to put a great deal of good bits on those being the Scrolls of Judging.
Shelf after shelf passed by in the corners of her vision as she sprinted down the tight row for the rack. Cadance planted her hooves against the slick marble floor, yelping out an Eeip as she found she had no traction. As the store shook from something far to the front, a wooden-sounding scrape of something massive falling from the shelf thudded directly before her. The pink alicorn winced as she bounced off of whatever it was, sprawling out on the floor as the spin from her impact swept her hooves out from under her.
"Use the head!" Uncle's loud and obnoxious voice echoed back from the front of the store, competing with a massive gonging crash for the privilege of being comprehensible. "The hammer's head, not your own! Mystic power must be used to defeat Mystic power!"
Right. Where was she, again? Oh, right!
Scrolls of Choosing, Scrolls of Picking, Scrolls of Scrutiny, Scrolls of Predetermination, Scrolls of-
A dozen wooden thwocks rang out throughout the store, startling Cadance for a moment. Something whistled in just above her head, smacking home with an ugly 'Thunk'. Cadance looked up, examining the still quivering arrow embedded in the scroll rack less than a hooflength from her head, feeling the tiny crystal of pure hate embedded in its tip. Shining called back to her from the front of the store, sounding frantic as he did. "Sorry! Sorry! Bad day, didn't know it was loaded!" "Hwatcha of Hate always loaded!"
Scrolls of Judging! There they were. Cadance yanked the entire drawer out with a single violent tug of her magic, squeezing it tight to her barrel with a wing as she turned around to dash back. Her first step was fine, but her second caught whatever had tripped her up when she had originally stopped, sending her tumbling headlong into the floor once more groaning in pain.
The mare felt along the edges of the object that had tripped her up twice, frowning as she felt something disturbingly familiar. It couldn't possibly be the same thing, not after Uncle locked them up. An opened book, each page two hooves wide and three tall, with almost engraved letters that flowed across its pages like water.
Somehow, she had been brought into contact with a Book of Destiny again. And it was open. The princess of love reignited her horn, her eyes widening as she saw her old hoofwriting scribble at the top of the page. Words flickered into existence in the strange script the book possessed, eternally shifting imperceptibly save for around where she had written. Fate was always in motion after all.
Though the nearly fixed entry at the bottom of the page was new. Speaking of two ponies utterly different but utterly right for one another, separated by mere circumstance and luck to be forever at odds instead of finding their heart's desires. Events that had been too faint and easy to manipulate to be seen before were now nearly etched into stone since she had last encountered it, taunting her with the unfairness of life.
Cadance flicked her eyes back up to her own entry at the thought, glad to see that the rather unfortunate set of events regarding a potential kidnapping at her wedding had yet to return. The space around her two sets of scribbles had filled with tiny writing, nearly imperceptible to her eye, and certainly unreadable. No matter, probably just clarifications of the destiny she had chosen. But that still left poor Aunt Luna and her never to be found lover... hmmm.
The sound of fighting continued to rage up front faintly. She still had time to make that one tiny change, to write in that Luna and- wow that was an odd mate for her, even by Cadance's standards. She just has to give them the chance to- "Cadey, hurrying would be nice! This Hwatcha-thingy is trying to eat my hoof!"
Right! Cadance etched in her changes with magic and snapped the book shut. She shifted the massively thick book onto the bottom shelf with all of her might and re-secured the box of scrolls she was carrying under her wing. Stone scraped as she exploded forth back into a gallop, running back to help. Earth pony might in her legs cut tiny divots into the marble with every step as she ate up distance like Auntie Celestia ate donuts from Pony Joes and Sugarcube Corner.
Everything was good, everything was going to work, her running form was the best that she had ever achieved, and nothing was going to stop her! Well, other than the cotton candy that drove itself up her nose as she drove herself past the locked down section containing discordian artifacts. Cadance's stride nearly sent her tumbling to the floor once more as she was temporarily blinded the pink alicorn slowing down so she could lick the sticky mess off her face. She could for the life of her figure out where the tiny floating puff of the stuff had come from. Certainly not up... front?
Shining Armor busily beat off the changelings with his newly found hammer in one branch of his telekinetic grip and with a shield bubble holding some strange snapping wooden thing making unholy gnashing sounds in the other. The beleaguered guard captain was swinging over and over as fast as he could to keep the changelings out. As soon as he slammed a changeling back out one of the holes, another would appear chittering evilly. The rapid slams over and over again shook the shop like a giant bass drum, shaking all the glass in the area.
A particularly persistent and hard to reach changeling managed to squeeze a little farther out of its hole, blocking the hammer blow with a shield of its own. Shining swung the object of his hate around, turning the shield it was encased within permeable to living objects as he did. The creepy wooden boxy-legged thing latched onto the changeling like a spider and the sounds of brittle chitin being chewed nauseatingly filled the shop as the black insect-pony was attacked. The poor thing's hooves flailed before it ripped itself back out of the hole, screeching all the way.
The wooden hole-filled box seemed to spit out pieces of chitin, bleaghing before it straightened up and began wriggling it's segmented tendrils or legs, or whatever the horrible-looking things dangling from it were. It somehow and impossibly turned, snapping with a set of hideous gnashing jaws at Shining once more.
"Cadey, take over! This thing is trying to eat me!" Shining Armor nabbed the scroll box with his magic, dropping his massive hammer into her telekinetic aura as he did. The pink alicorn squeaked as she just barely caught the hammer, stumbling back from the weight pressed into her aura.
"Uncle does not wish to be bothersome, but the ritual needs Scroll of Judging!" Uncle shook his spare forehoof from the center of the ritual scroll circle where he stood balancing on his other. A thousand tiny candles lit up the nodes of the circle, crackling arcs of energy passing between them as they issued forth billows of magic infused smoke. Uncle busily drove the smoke towards the front of the store with fans strapped to his waving hindlegs that he hung in midair.
Shining chucked a scroll at Uncle, hoping to bean one of the sources of his troubles between the eyes. The wizened old pony switched the hoof he was balancing on in the same impossible fraction of a second that he used to reach up with his newly freed hoof and snatched it out of midair without looking or breaking his chanting.
"Not that I'm rushing you or anything, but can you please hurry up so we can get this thing to stop trying to eat me!" Shining shook the shield bubble to disorient the unholy strap-on hwatcha. It was scary watching its twisted maw trying to eat magic, chewing at the bubble and actually dimpling it. Angular ripping teeth lunged forward like lightning, buzz-sawing a circular hole in the bubble to snap at Shining's face. The poor stallion jumped back in startlement as the creature kept pushing through. "It's trying to eat my face!"
"Do not rush deep magic! Chant 'Bad Hwatcha!' three times. Smack top with hoof, then say 'No Eating Shining Armor Idiot!'"
Shining gulped as the hellish construct snapped at his face again, dangerously close to freeing itself and eating his head. His voice cracked as he began chanting, wondering why his sister never had to put up with madness like this. "Bad Hwatcha, Bad Hwatcha! BAD HWATCHA!"
The construct jerked back as if Shining had set it on fire, whining somehow as it tried to retreat from Shining as he took stock of his recovered courage. His armored hoof cracked against the top surface, scuffing the wood as the thing yelped from the impact. "No Eating Shining Armor Idiot!"
It shriveled up instantly with a whimper, returning to its inanimate status. Shining flung it away from himself, hoping he would never see it again. "I got it!"
"Great Shiney, a little help!?!" Cadance rapidly poked changeling after changeling in the eyes as they tried to come through the wall. She had long since abandoned the hammer when it refused to place nice with her magic's grip. A cloud of crystal shards surrounded her, diving at any changeling that got too close for comfort. The crystals seemed to glimmer oddly as she rushed them at changelings like the breaking of an ocean wave.
"First need paw of monkey! Ritual cannot be completed without it!" Uncle ran back and forth between shelves, gathering the final components for the ritual in a hurried fashion, pausing every time to fan at the smoke.
"Sorry Cadey!" Shining ducked into the shelves, looking up and down past parchments and glowing blue hearts of doom. Directional guides quickly pointed him in the general direction as Shining slid between the oppressively tall shelves. He tried to ignore the sense that the walls pressing in on him in judgment, and the angry cries of Cadance as she fought. He turned the corner, and could literally feel his mane and coat bleaching to an impossible shade of white as he beheld the sight before him.
Hooves and feet and horns and unspeakable tentacle.... thingies lined the aisle in thick glass jars. The corridor seemed to stretch on forever, cataloguing things that had no name anymore. No description, only dread warnings. He was probably going to be looking for-
"Shining Armor, I'm not supposed to be an angry pony, but so help me if you don't hurry up, I'm- GET OFF ME YOU UGLY BUG!" The shop thundered with a massive pulse of blue magic, rattling everything where it sat.
"Uh, I found the aisle!" Shining nervously called back to the front, afraid of what Cadance might do to him. Cautiously he stepped into the glittering display of everything gruesome and disturbing in existence. And not a single label was in Common Equish. Shining looked at label after label, wincing each time the shelves rocked and swayed with his movements as he looked for a label he could read. Was it so hard to follow proper labeling and indexing habits? Twiley couldn't get this place sorted out in a year, he bet. "How am I supposed to find anything!? It's all in Neighponese!"
The irritated shopkeeper called back to him, seeking the sound of Shining's voice. "Looks like paw of Diamond Dog, but furless!"
Right, so... paw. Duh, he knew th-
Shining Armor groaned as his thoughts slammed against the front of his skull with their remaining momentum. All he had heard was a brief wooden moan before he had tripped or gotten hit by something. It almost sounded like a single-binding copy of the Encyclopedia Equestria falling from two stories up, actually. Felt like it too.
Shining shuddered as he realized how much his sister had influenced him.
Hay, it was a book. The weirdest book he had ever seen, bound in crimson and brass menacingly. The massive book had flopped open when it had fallen on him, the thick pages having parted without crease or bend in their forms. Almost like the book was meant to open to that page. Shining raised his hoof to shove the book out of his way and keep looking, only to stop as he saw his name at the top of a page of ever-shifting text.
"Shining Armor loses battle against the Changeling Horde to save his future wave from kidnap and conversion into a portable love generator? Shining Armor rewrites destiny to save wife... What?"
"Shiiiin-iiiing!" Cadance sounded like she was in the throes of descending into an utter panic up front.
Hay, Uncle had said that she had written in a Blue Book of Destiny, and that it actually had an effect. Screw Uncle, he had to at least try it. One quick scratch-through and rewrite later, he shoved the book out of the way and looked up. "Oh." Shining couldn't think of much more to say as he became fairly sure that he was looking right at what he needed. He hoped. "Say, Uncle, is it long with little stubby toes on the end?"
"That Foot of Human; not paw of monkey! Switch it around, short with long toes! Right next to it!"
Oh, there it was. Shining nabbed its glass box with his magic, hopping over the book. It would take too long to run back to the front of the store, by that point anything could happen to Cadance from the sounds of her desperate fight. Okay, hay, it was a stupid idea, but teleportation couldn't be nearly as hard as Twilight made it out to be. It couldn't be, she always was overstating everything. He'd seen her do it, memorized the spell. All he had to do was align the aetherial lines, bridge the gap, and-
.... Ah. Surprisingly, Twilight might have underestimated it. Shining mused in his head on the matters of why his mane and tail were on fire from a relatively low-powered spell. Probably due to energy flux from the point-linking needing a place to ground out, leaving him as the only viable option.
He tossed the paw at Uncle as he shook himself out of his stupor, making a running dive for his fiancée’s form as he saw her nearly completely buried in changelings and being dragged out the door. The still aflame unicorn dove in, punching and gnawing and fighting for all he was worth as he struggled to push his hooves into the pile. "Let he go, you bug-eyed freaks!"
A changeling writhed as Shining caught it by the neck, fighting the hold the shield-pony had on it just before it met the head of another changeling and knocked them both out. Shining swept a hoof one way, blasting his magic through the conductive lines on his armor to blow a dozen changelings into a wall in the alley. Cadance's struggling hooves were beginning to slacken, getting tugged back down into the morass of monsters menacingly. Shining threw another blast of shield energy, trying desperately to clear away the changelings so he could grab her. "Cadey!"
Her roughed-up hooves reached up, grabbing his hoof with her own as she tried to pull herself free. "Pull Cadey, hang on!" Shining tried to fire off a shield bubble to force the creatures all away, but he couldn't hold it. They were draining his magic somehow, preventing it from forming properly into a bubble, leaving him only able to strategically protect himself.
Cadance began to pull free of the pile, coated in green slime from wingtips to muzzle. Her eyes were wide as panic as she continued to weaken, only able to get a tiny amount of air through the tiny whistling holes in the molded green mask that was keeping her silent. She muffledly cried out to him, bending her head forward to touch him, feel him, hoping her could save her from her fate. Shining bent towards her as well, trying to bear hug her to keep the changelings off, their horns arcing slightly as they drew closer and closer, and then touched.
It was like Celestia had poured all of her energy into him in one brief glorious moment. Every hair on his body stood up nearly hard enough to launch themselves clean of their roots as everything turned blue and pink. Shining and Cadance's bodies went limp in the aftermath of the reaction, flopping against each other without any energy. Flopping against each other, with no creatures between them.
Shining opened his eyes as Cadance gasped for air again and again, breathing deeply as she pressed her head in tight against his chest. The creatures laid every which way, many of them partially embedded into the sides of the alley when they had somehow been blown clear. He looked down, seeing Cadance's scuffed and dirtied form speckled with the remains of the green goo she had nearly been cocooned in. "Cadey, c'mon, move."
Shining hauled Cadance back to her hooves, firing magic bolts of energy with his remaining strength. The few changelings that had found themselves able to get back up went down again under the onslaught as he half-dragged Cadance's limping form through the door. Shining let Cadance slump against the ground as he called back to the shopkeeper once more. "Is the ritual ready yet?"
"Do not rush magic! Result will be unpredictable!"
Shining slid Cadance a little further into the shop, slumping back against her facing the door to watch as the changelings picked themselves up once more. The remains of the door slowly pieced themselves back together within his magic, roughly blocking the door with an improvised barricade. Shining spoke up one last time, knowing he had almost no fight left in him.
"Not to be rude, but if you don't rush you'll never finish!"
"Arrgh! Aiyaah! By prayers wished and unanswered, by needs once unfulfilled! For pacts of truth and misfortune, and false deeds of prosperity! Find this shop where it is not desired; place it in the greatest need!" Everything seemed to dim and darken, growing black as sight faded.
Sluuuuuuuurrrr-
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POP!
And just as suddenly came back, blinding Shining with the morning sun in his face. "Did the universe just sneeze?"
Shining picked himself back up into a sitting position from where he had rocked over in the strange darkness, groaning at the ache of his body and the strange object he was sitting on. Checking himself over with his hooves seemed to indicate that everything was in its proper place. At least the creatures were gone, and he had a comfortable enough spot to just slip into a nice nap, even if it did wriggle a little.
"Shining, as much as our current position would be absolutely yummy in private, not right now!" Oh buck, he was sitting on Cadance.
The pink alicorn struggled and wriggled beneath Shining, pushing him over to roll onto the floor. Shining flopped to his back lying next to her in the peace of wherever they had been transported to. The pair panted from having worked so hard to protect themselves, Shining laying a forehoof across her chest to feel the slow and steady deep breaths that made her trim pink fur rise and fall.
The white charger blushed crimson as he realized just what she had suggested and wanted. He didn't deserve such a beautiful, charming, snuggly, humbly good mare like her. Their eyes met, the duo blinking as they realized how entrancing their gazes were. The pair inched their heads across the floor, nuzzling one wriggle at a time closer and closer to pressing their lips together, granting the kiss they had both been desiring.
SMACK! SMACK!
Two voices spoke as one as they jerked back from the pain. "OW!"
"That is for causing the most property damage since Morningstar tried to summon Moon in backroom!" Uncle fearlessly berated both of them, shaking his hoof at them in deep irritation. With the new bright and cheerful illumination streaming through the damaged front, his formerly ominous features seemed more like a cheery old grandfather than a menacing old monk. He stepped back, waving a hoof to show how the front section of the shop had been torn up by blasts of energy and hammering changelings. He scowled a little further as he reached into the satchel he had picked up while they had been laying down. "And this,"
Uncle pulled out two coupons from within his bag, letting them flutter to the couple's chests from his outstretched hoof. "-Is for helping Uncle protect his shop. And in light of future blessings upon happy couple. But! Must use them now, because you both are banned forever!"
Cadance couldn't help herself, moaning in pain from her ribs as she cracked up and chuckled at the absurdity of it all. Rolling to her hooves, she took the two coupons; stick one behind her ear and another behind Shining's. "Thank you, Uncle. I'm so sorry for the mess, I didn't know where else to go."
"Don't look at me like that, Cadey. I'm just assigned to guard you, and everypony from you. You're the one with the ma-OW!" Shining rubbed his ribs where Cadance's elbow dug in, squirming away from it as he did. A pity the stupid coupon was going to go to waste because he couldn't think of anything he wanted to get his precious pink gemstone. Wait a second.
Shining Armor snagged his forehoof around Cadance's neck, dragging her into a kiss that left her muffledly yelping in surprise. Her eyes widened in shock, and bewilderment, and love. And then beloved acceptance. Her outstretched wings twitched slightly as they moaned into each other's mouths, falling limp to her sides as he pulled free. The couple looked at each other with utter certainty and dumbfounded wonder. Both of them knew exactly what they should have picked up three months ago, no matter how much it cost them.
Uncle chucked to himself as he watched them break away from each other and run in separate directions in a headlong mad sprint. And then just as suddenly come back as they found what they were looking for. Each carried a jewelry box in their mouths, spitting it out onto their hooves as they faced each other again. Saying nothing, he watched them trip over each other's words in their haste to get them out of their mouth.
"Shiney, this is kind of unusual-" "Cadey, this is kind of sudden-" "-But I just can't bear the thought of losing you-" "-But I almost lost you, my beloved wonderful little crystal heart of my life-" "-And I just know you're the one I was destined for-" "-And I know you're the one I want to spend eternity with-" "-So Shining, I'm begging you, will you marry me?" "-Cadey, I'm begging you to marry me!"
Pregnant silence slowly pressed down upon both of them as their words sank into their heads. Both opened their eyes to discover themselves in nearly identical kneels of submission and supplication to their beloved, with the band of their affection sitting upon their outstretched hooves. Tears welled up in their eyes and the slightest sniffle of love and joy from Cadance was enough to break their revere. Shining swept up his fiancé, hugging her and kissing her nearly to death as loudly as he could as he took their respective rings up with his magic and slipped them onto their horns.
"True love. Uncle has seen it many a time. Causes allergic reaction and itchy watery eyes no matter how many times I have seen it. The Ring of Strength for the little love song, and Ring of Cunning upon the headstrong armored foal." Uncle clapped his hooves together in a moment of nicety for the couple. Clapping quickly turned back to pointing as soon as the moment finished. "Rings are free. Now, OUT! Uncle must clean up shop to be fit for daylight!"
Cadance and Shining didn't need to be told twice, and tripped over each other to squeeze out the door, refusing to separate contact between them. Beyond the door was now a bustling little village that spread out under the watchful gaze of Canterlot sitting on the mountain. Thatched cottages lined the street and a stream trickled beneath the cobblestone bridge before them as they gaped at how far they had come. Then Uncle slammed the door on their rumps and immediately locked it so that they couldn't come in.
Ponyville. They had both heard the stories from Twilight about the crazy town, and the Pink Party Ninja. Oh, buck their lives.
Cadance spoke up first as she slid her forehead into the crook of Shining's neck until her horn rubbed the side of his head. "My Snuggy-Wuggy Shiney Whiney. Are we going to fly, take the train, or go to your sister to take a letter?"
"Does my Cuddy-Wuddy Cadey-Wadey want to explain to Twilight how we got engaged? And she's friends with Pinkie. I say train." Shining threw his hoof around Cadance, snugging her tighter to his barrel as he looked for the telltale signs of the train station. "I am never, ever letting you go."
"But for you to let go, I'd have to let go first." Cadance draped her wing over Shining, bending it tight over his form to prevent his escape. "And that's not going to happen. But who knows when the next train is going to be. I say flight. I bet I could get a balloon up the mountain in record time."
"A balloon? Hah! I know some crazy guard stallions who can run up the side of the mountain dragging a train car." Shining looked around nervously, hearing the oddest rustling. "You hear that, Shoompey-do?"
"That rustling, like somepony sneaking through the... bushes?"
"HI! HA! New Ponies have escaped my Party-Fu!" Pinkie Pie shattered any hope of leaving town quietly as she leapt from the bushes clad in black from tailtip to the frayed ends of her mane. Her eyes could just barely be seen through the slit in her full face mask as she waved her hooves in a vaguely menacing fashion, somehow pulling a full cake from behind her back in the process. "Nopony escapes the New Pony Party of the Ponyville Ninja Party Planner!"
Cadance looked to Shining, who looked back to his fiancée uncertainly. There had to be something to chase her off and make a break for it with. Cadance's quivering lips of indecision turned to a smile of smug knowledge as she raised her hoof to point at the store behind her. "Hey, look! Is that Uncle Pie?"
"Oh, hey Uncle Pie!" Pinkie bounced around them, shoving her head through one of the holes knocked in the front facade of the shop.
"Hello Pinkamina. Shoo! Shoo! Shop no place for you!"
Pinkie wriggled her way into the storefront, her hindlegs kicking in the air as she enthusiastically tried to hug her relative inside. "Hey, how else am I supposed to meet my favoritest uncle in the world? I never saw you again after Nana Pie died! I won't touch anything!"
Cadance and Shining quietly gave each other 'run away!' gestures. The pair started creeping away, trying not to touch any cobblestone or make a sound, and periodically nuzzling each other to remind themselves that their special somepony was still there. The crunching of broken glass could be heard, and Uncle's raised voice echoed over the street as he ratted them out.
"Go bug them! You still need to throw new pony party for newly engaged royal couple!"
"Hey, wait! I can't chase you guys and hug Uncle Pie at the same time! Come baaa~aackl"
Shining broke into a gallop, with Cadance not far behind him. "Run Cadey, she's going to get us!"
“I am running!”
“Run faster!”
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Tenderhoof nudged Luna with his shoulder to gain her attention over the roar of the crowd. "Do you want me to clear out the court, your majesty?"
"Nay. Some of them are watching. It would fuel speculation that we have not reformed. We shall have to resolve this diplomatically." Luna looked over the seething crowd, preparing to speak. Starting near the top of her voice range would get their attention. And the attention of everypony else in Canterlot.
But it was not her voice that spoke first. "Excuse me. EXCUSE ME!" A blue heart blazing with fire rushed up from a figure at the doors, exploding near the top of the room in a starburst of blue light that dusted the entire court with sparkles drifting down.
And Luna found that she couldn't remember why she had been so mad just a moment before. Her racing heartbeat of anxiety and irritation faded as the sparkles fell upon her, clearing her mind. She could handle things, it was so clear now that she had some room to breathe in. But why had they even- ah, a power play, perhaps? They were meant to test her Tia, but since she was out on vacation, they had been turned on her to see if she could be easily pressured.
"A-Ah..." Shining Armor panted at the doorway, clutching a hoof at his chest as he caught his breath. "Announcing her royal highness Princess Cadance!"
"I'm so dreadfully sorry that I'm late, Aunt Luna. If you had given me some warning, I would have been here sooner! Just ran into some trouble with some unfortunate ponies. The silly dears thought they were ninjas or something. Poor Shining just drove himself half to death trying to keep up." Cadance spoke softly as she flew over the crowd, landing somewhat clumsily before the throne and bowing in supplication.