//------------------------------// // A Normal Day // Story: The Merely Mundane Tales (of a Mad-Pony in a Box) // by R5h //------------------------------// A Normal Day Acting, Bon Bon thought as she trotted home with a saddlebag full of bits laid over her back. I love acting. She'd just finished doing voice work for a radio advertisement for the Sofa and Quills shop, in which the store had received the official endorsement of Princess Celestia. Or, perhaps, somepony who can sound just like her, but what are the chances of that? She wondered how long it would remain legal to pull a trick like that, and strongly suspected that the only reason it wasn't illegal was because Celestia had not gotten around to banning it yet. Until then, she looked forward to a steady supply of work, and to hearing celebrity endorsements by everyone from Princess Luna to Iron Will. Or, very occasionally, Princess Luna and Iron Will. “Thy royal princess declares the taste of new Salt'n'Sweet Snacks to be most splendid! Dost thou agree, Iron Will?” she asked herself, then replied: “That's right, Princess! Iron Will loves how they have half the calories and all of that real flavor you love! Oh yeah!” She snorted. They don't even talk like that! But whatever—it's acting either way. She turned onto Hoofridge Drive and stopped dead. There at number 44 was the house she'd formerly shared with Lyra. Now she seemed to be sharing it with Lyra and some sort of metal monstrosity growing out the front door, around which not just Lyra but Vinyl Scratch were buzzing like mechanically-inclined bees. “What if we tighten the linkage with this screwdriver?” Bon Bon heard Vinyl ask, tapping a thin section of the device with a large wrench. “And by screwdriver I mean wrench. Would that work?” “You'd get a lot of destructive interference, I think...” “What about here?” Vinyl tapped a slightly thicker part of the apparatus. “No idea,” Lyra yawned. “I mean, that'd boost the bass signal at the top, but I think it'd drown out the... you know, other bits.” “You're talking like there's something wrong with that! Go bass or go home, baby.” “But Octavia's supposed to use this too...” Neither one noticed Bon Bon walking toward them, or much of anything else. Lyra's in her own little world again... minus the little. “Are you kidding? She loves the bass so much she's got a double!” Vinyl chuckled. “Well, cello, but that's close enough, right?” “Actually, no... though I bet I could, could make a cello that turns into a double bass!” “Ah, but could you make a double bass that turns into a cello?” Bon Bon had heard enough of that, and cleared her throat. “Ahem.” “Of course I could, silly! It would be the same instrument! Wait, was that a joke?” said Lyra. “Ahem.” “That was the idea,” Vinyl replied, as oblivious as Lyra to Bon Bon's presence. “Wow I am off my game right now.” “Lyra!” Finally Lyra noticed her and turned to face her. Bon Bon, seeing her friend's baggy, bloodshot eyes, pulled her face together into a pleasant smile, instead of the very annoyed expression she'd have liked to show. Now's the time for some real acting. “Oh hey! G'morning, Bon Bon.” She yawned and looked up at the sky; then her eyes widened in shock, presumably from finding a sun there. “Wow, it is morning already? Didn't realize I'd pulled an all-nighter... what time is it?” “It's five o'clock—” “Not too bad!” “—PM,” Bon Bon finished. “Five o'clock PM. You pulled an all-dayer.” “Wow, really? Time flies when you're having fun, I guess... I think that's my personal record for staying up!” “What, only 31 hours?” Vinyl snorted. “Awww, that's adorable!” Bon Bon sighed. “Lyra, you're going to bed now—” “Wait, wait wait wait you've gotta see what I've been working on with Vinyl,” Lyra stammered, grabbing Bon Bon with a shaky hoof and pulling her to the part of the machine by the doorframe. “You see, it's a... it's kinda like... Vinyl, it was your idea, what's it called again?” “I commissioned Lyra to build a prototype antennifier for me and Octy's upcoming show in Fillydelphia,” Vinyl explained. “Antennifier,” Bon Bon repeated. “Antennifier! Antennifier antennifier antennifier!” Lyra repeated much more. “Sorry, just that now that I think about it antennifier's really fun to say, antennifier antennifier. So you've basically got a little place over there,” she pointed into the house, “right by the base of the antennifier, where the musician plays their instruments, right? And then the antennifier picks up the noise made by those instruments and plays them really loudly so that everyone can hear!”         “Lyra, I think it's...” Basically a clunkier microphone that's keeping me from entering my house, she thought. Now think of a nice way to say that. You love acting, you're a master actress. A worker of wonders with the spoken word. “It's basically a clunkier microphone that's keeping me from entering my house, and it's kind of dumb.” Well, never mind. Years of acting lessons wasted.         “Oh no no no, it's not just a microphone! An antennifier is cooler than a, than a microphone in... lots of ways!” Lyra insisted.         “Could you explain?”         “Well, first of all it’s more like an amplifier,” Vinyl yelled. “And second of all, it's way cooler! Take a look!” She opened the window of Lyra and Bon Bon's house and jumped in, then stuck her head back out. “By the way, sorry about the door thing, but windows are cool too, right?” Then she bounded into the front hall, and Bon Bon managed to see her squeeze into a sort of cubby at the base of the 'antennifier'. “Can you hear me now?” she yelled.         “Yes.”         “But not through the antennifier!” Indeed, the machine had failed to amplify any sound from Vinyl. “It only amplifies stuff it recognizes as music!”         “So you can't use it?” Bon Bon asked, unable to help herself.         “Oh, burn! Nice. But look what happens when I siiiiiiiiiiIIIIIING—”         As Vinyl's voice found notes, the antennifier lit up. Blue lines pulsed down its length, leading to a large metal sphere on the end that glowed red. Bon Bon had to admit it looked rather impressive, what with the way the lights spiraled around the device, changed color, and got brighter as Vinyl's voice grew in volume.         And grew, and grew.         Bon Bon stopped admitting it looked impressive, collapsed to the ground, and covered her ears from the sheer volume of the thing. The antennifier kept glowing brighter and growing louder, as it replayed its own noise in an ever-increasing feedback loop, until she felt her ears would burst. “ONE OF YOU, FIX IT!” she yelled, as the ground started shaking.         Lyra squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, and whacked her head a few times with her hoof in concentration. Then she opened her eyes, levitated the wrench Vinyl had dropped, and tightened a nut protruding from the thinnest part of the antennifier. The effect was immediate; the volume of Vinyl's voice plummeted, and within a second faded entirely.         Bon Bon took a few deep breaths and waited until she could see straight again, then got to her hooves. “How'd that happen, then?” she asked.         “Destructive interference!” Lyra exclaimed. “Produce counter sound waves and cancel the original ones out.”         “Aw yeah, what a rush!” Vinyl jumped out the window with a mildly sane grin. “That'll keep me going for another twelve hours at least! So, Ly, any ideas for fixing the feedback thing long-term?”         Lyra's attention went right back to the antennifier, but Bon Bon had no time for that; she heard the sound of the door across the street opening. It was time for damage control.         Bon Bon crossed the street and got to the door just as the house's owner stepped out, with an angry expression on his face and a fractured piece of vase in his raised hoof. “Here's ten bits,” she interjected before he could speak, and tossed the money past the gray earth pony to land in his home. “This time, get yourself a nice, sturdy wooden bowl, or something.” Before he could get a word in edgewise, she slammed the door in his face and moved on to the next house.         “Don't worry, it's just Lyra again,” she explained to the red pegasus nextdoor. “Yeah, that thing over there... she calls it an antennifier. Basically a clunkier microphone, but only for music... point is, don't play any piano for a few days. I don't want to find out how far that thing can hear.”         That pretty much covers the specifics... She raised her voice and yelled down the block: “Sorry! Lyra again! Don't worry about it!” A few of the ponies had stuck their heads out their windows, looking down the street for the source of the noise; upon hearing Bon Bon they shrugged and went about their business.         “And as for you—” Bon Bon interrupted Lyra in the middle of some rant about why double basses and cellos were different. “Lyra, when's the last time you ate something?” Lyra's mouth stayed open, and she looked down at her stomach; it grumbled loudly. “Okay, that settles it. Vinyl, go home and get some sleep. Now,” she added, fixing Vinyl with a glare like a cockatrice. Vinyl shrugged and set off toward home. “Lyra, I'm going to get you something to eat, and then you're going to bed too.”         “But BB...” Lyra sighed. “Okay, I guess you know best.” She clambered through the window, and Bon Bon followed her.         “Oh, and another thing?” Bon Bon climbed over the base of the antennifier. “While I'm getting you food, you're going to explain something to me.”         “I bet you wanna know how it works, right?” Lyra grinned and extended a hoof to help Bon Bon down.         “I'd be fascinated to learn!” She smiled back. “After you explain how you're going to get it out of the house when you've built the base wider than the door is tall.”         Lyra's smile took a few seconds to die away. “Oh. Right.”