//------------------------------//
// Chapter 12 
// Story: Resistance: Remain Human 
// by Hurgusburgus 
//------------------------------//

The Sabertooth rumbled slowly over the hill as I whistled absent-mindedly, peering through the slit of armoured glass that passed for a windshield in this thing. The armoured vehicle crunched noisily over a fallen tree, bouncing slightly. The engine whined as I gave it more juice and I kept heading for Sweet Apple Acres. The sky was pitch black, though I had negated it by using the spotlights mounted on the tank. After some time, I saw the collection of wooden buildings – dimly lit, of course - and adjusted my heading accordingly. Humming some halfwit sailor’s shanty, I parked the ponderous vehicle right near Jen’s workshop. I didn’t accidentally crush one of Apple family’s carts, no sir, not at all.

Bollocks. I’ll have to fix that later.

Shutting the engine down, I climbed out, nearly breaking off my heat stacks in progress. Need to be more careful next time. The hatch fell shut with a clang as I stretched my arms and let loose a yawn. The newest addition to our motor pool still smelled of dead bits.
That’s what I’ll call the tank. Dead Bits. Yeah. And it’ll be the best damn tank ev-
“James!”

I say again.

Bollocks.

I flinched as Celestia came around the corner of the farmhouse, seeming to be rather pissed.
Well, now.
“Uh, h-“ I tried to start a conversation.
“Silence. You said you’d be at the Gala, yet here you are. Care to explain?” She shot me down before I could even say anything. Way to emasculate me, princess.
“I decided otherwise. I needed some time alone. And you didn’t say attendance was compulsory, now did you?” That struck a chord with her and she snorted angrily.
“I… But… It’s not fair!”
“Life’s not fair, lady! Never is and never will be!”
In hindsight, that hadn’t been the best thing to say.

I don’t know what happened after that, but Dead Bits had been a good tank, apparently, arresting my progress as Celestia tossed me like a ragdoll. The impact was less likeable. The sickly crunch of bones and flesh was all I heard as world dissolved into red.

Armour plating may be what the ladies like, but it sure as hell isn’t meant to cushion impacts.

So, yeah. Here we are. Celestia’s profusely apologising to me for grievous bodily harm. My body still hurts like hell as I make random noises of discomfort. I’d say it’d take a couple of hours for my bones to heal. Perks of being a Chimera. With a grunt, I managed to haul myself upwards, ignoring the sharp lances of pain coursing through my chest. Yep. Five ribs, broken. Never mind. They’ll heal. I’ll be fi-
Dizziness overcame me as I vomited blood for a moment.

Okay. Maybe not. Celestia’s horrified at the pool of red at my feet.
“James, stay still. Let me heal you.”
“No. It’ll be fine. Just give me a moment to put my shoulder back in place.” Oh, wait. I can’t. Celestia broke my right arm. She notices that and her horn lights up, an expression of sadness on her face.
“Please, let me do it. It’ll be faster this way.”
“Agh. Fine.” I sighed. She nods and tendrils of gold envelop me as the glow grows brighter with every passing moment. The pain dissipated, too, after a while and I noted that my arm was back in place, too.
“Thanks.”
“It’s the least I could do.”
“I feel like you have an ulterior motive of sorts, though. Why would you just offer us citizenship here simply for being nice? You’re hiding something.” Her face hardens a bit at that.
“Nothing escapes your notice, hmm? Very well. I should tell this to Fred and others as well. I guess you are coming to the Gala after all.”
“B-“
“Yes. You. Are.”
“I-“
“James.” She put some steel in her voice.

I say again.

Bollocks.
“I am not riding on your back, princess.” She blinks surprisedly and I continue. “I’d much rather take the Kingfisher.”
“Very well, then.”
“See? If you wanted me to come to the Gala, all you should’ve done is beat the crap out of me!”
“Don’t tempt me, James. My benevolence only goes so far.”
“You don’t bloody say.” I muttered sullenly, motioning for her to follow me to where the VTOL was parked. “On a side note, Jen’s almost finished with her power core. Says she’s going to stick it in the Kingfisher so we can still use it once the damn thing runs out of avgas.”
“Do tell me how it would work.” We reached the aircraft and I pulled the side door open, Celestia hot on my heels as I took the pilot’s seat and started to flip switches and press buttons.
“Well, you’ll have to ask Jen for that. I don’t know what she’s doing with that damn thing.” The engines came alive. We’d been loath to use the VTOL, for fear of exhausting our non-existent fuel supply, so the fuel tank was still one-third full. With a roar, we set off, Celestia stumbling about on the floor (again).

Not my fault.
Seriously.

Jennifer’s POV

I coughed quietly as I came to a halt in front of Applejack’s food stall.
“Hey, AJ. How’s business?”
“Meh, not too good, Jen. Ah should’ve just left th’stall back at the farm.”
“Hmm. Did you try advertising your baked goods?” Fred ambled up to us then, his cane clanking against the pavement.
“What is this offense to logical thinking I hear? No one is willing to buy your goods, Miss Applejack? I shall fix that immediately!”
“Fred, wha-“
“HEAR YE, HEAR YE! GATHER ROUND, PONYFOLK, FOR HERE YOU CAN PURCHASE THE FINE CUISINE OF APPLE FAMILY!” Applejack and I cringed, trying to cover our ears as Fred’s booming, thunderous voice drew many a pony’s attention. Soon, intrigued by his booming praise of Applejack’s cooking skills, they approached the stall as the Titan proclaimed the stall held the best things since sliced bread. I had to ask myself – do ponies have sliced bread?

Probably.

Nevertheless, Fred’s tactic was working and a small crowd of ponies had already gathered around Applejack’s stall, curious. Good for her.
…
The hell is that noise?

James’s POV

Celestia grunted as she slipped again, her mane a mess and splotches of oil marring her usually pristine coat.
“That’s what you get for not listening to me, princess. I told you to strap in, but nooo, you had to do it your way.”
“Enough of that, James. I’ve only been in this vehicle once before. You can’t blame me for that.”
“I can, however, blame you for not heeding my advice. So that’s what I’ll do. You are not a clever pony. Boo.”
“You are so funny.” Celestia deadpanned, bracing herself against the wall as I finally saw Canterlot – the damn place was alight like a Christmas tree. The Kingfisher shuddered as we passed through a gust of turbulence. Celestia’s crown clattered across the floor as she cried out, once again upended. I snickered and returned my attention to the castle sticking out from the mountain.

Six minutes later

This was getting really, really old. I observed the blood collecting on the cobblestones. My blood.

WHY DO YOU KEEP PUNCHING ME, JENNIFER?

“That’ll teach you, James.” Celestia announced. She sounded like she was smiling. Jen harrumphed in agreement as Bill pulled me upwards.

Soon as I’d gotten out of the VTOL, I’d gotten closely acquainted with the Steelhead’s fist. Again. Bill patted me on the shoulder reassuringly.
“Don’t worry, pardner. You’ll be fit as a fiddle in no time. Nice t’see ya changed yer mind.”
“Not like I had a choice, Bill.” I glared at Celestia. She stuck her tongue out at me. I flipped her the bird.

So much for acting like adults.

We wandered inside the large throne hall – it’d been redecorated for the Gala, with long tables laden with food and an orchestra to boot. Aforementioned collection of musicians was playing some dreary classical music. I quickly sought out Ironbeak, shaking hand-to-claw with him.
“James! Nice to see you here!”
“I guess.” He passed me a slice of bacon, along with a tankard of ale and we soon were talking about various unrelated topics.

Celestia turned her head as she heard someone tap her on the shoulder.
“Oh, hello, Alice. How are you finding the Gala?”
“’s nice, ma’am. Food’s real tasty like. Same goes f’r th’drinks, too. Top notch stuff, that.” Celestia had some difficulty understanding the red-haired Texan’s accent, but nodded graciously, smiling at her compliments.
“I’m glad you are enjoying yourself, miss Bradley.”
“Ah, jus’ call me Alice, ma’am. Actually, I have a request f’r ya.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“Ah have a song Ah’d like the orchestra t’play, if that’s ‘kay with ya, ma’am.” Celestia raised an eyebrow at the American’s request, but nodded nonetheless.
“I see no harm in that. You may do so.”
“Much obliged, ma’am.” Alice grinned, walking away, heading for the assembled musicians. Celestia followed at a distance, intrigued at discovering what the human had in mind. Several of the guests followed the alicorn diarch, curious as the orchestra went quiet, Alice passing sheets of paper among them, whispering quietly. After a couple of moments, the musicians struck up a tune, but it was nothing like anypony had ever heard before. After a short while, though, Alice started belting out the words in earnest.

Woah, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam
Yeah, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam

Black Betty had a child, bam-ba-lam
Damn thing gone wild, bam-ba-lam

She’s always ready, bam-ba-lam
She’s all rock steady, bam-ba-lam

Woah, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam
Go, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam
All right…