A figure emerged from the doors of the newly relocated building, holding a bottle in its hand and staggering. It began walking into the nearby town while mumbling about something or other. As the figure stumbled towards the center of town, it stopped when it spotted a group of what looked like small colorful horses. The cyclops looked at his bottle, before shrugging and taking a deep swig from it.
And then he passed out.
Now that Mann Co. had moved its headquarters to Equestria, they had begun operations for new branches of items to sell to suckers customers. While weapons didn't have much of a market, partially due to Celestia refusing the sale of them in her country, hats and other cosmetic products sold like hot-cakes, to the slight dismay of a certain white unicorn. Grey Mann and his robot army never attacked Equestria again, though he still attacked Mann Co. installations back on Earth. Because of this, the mercenaries found themselves teleporting from Equestria, where they now spent most of their off time, and Earth, where they continued to murder machines for fun and profit.
And what have the mercs been doing in Equestria?
The Scout had taken up a part-time job as a delivery boy, well-known for being both fast and (mostly) discreet. He was still killed by the wildlife regularly, however, and on one occasion the Leprechaun Mafia caught up with him. He's hoping that, eventually, everything will realize how awesome he is and stop frickin' killing him.
The Spy regularly mingled among the population, though not as himself. Now that he wasn't exactly trapped here, he seemed to be somewhat enjoying the casual friendly interaction. That said, he doesn't hesitate to backstab those buffoons he must call teammates when they're being exceptionally dumb or intolerable. Also, he seems to find a new hat every other week, much to the mirth of his colleagues.
The Medic had found himself in a very interesting position. He was actually allowed to dissect a unicorn to further his research, but with one condition: that unicorn (who shall remain nameless and purple) also got to dissect him, as well. There are now a total of two beings who can say they have seen the act of double-mutual-surgery while it was still in progress. As for his new medi-gun, he was saddened to find that the Uber-crits only work while in Equestria, due to the ample supply of magic in the air. Attempts at strapping the Bombinomicon to the medi-gun have all proved fruitless (and explosive).
The Heavy mostly stayed to himself, though he did seem to enjoy the presence of the ponies somewhat, if only because they reminded him of happier times. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, in particular, left a mark on the giant Russian's heart. They actually made him a hat one time, though the results were less than pretty (and it was actually quite flammable). Despite this, he gave them five-hundred thousand U.S. dollars when they started sniffling from the failure.
The Pyro and his Merry Band of Clones continued to be unintelligible and continued to burn things. Thankfully, they had controlled their urges to burn every piece of wood they saw, and they also got over their inexplicable fear of ponies. Together, they started a part-time business for chopping and/or burning things that needed to be chopped and/or burned, which was decently successful. They also formed a dance troupe.
The Demoman was still drunk.
The Engineer got himself a house just outside Ponyville, where he started drawing on inspirations from the populace for new ideas for machines. While nothing groundbreaking has been made yet, he did manage to invent a toaster that would automatically apply butter to toast, complete with adjustable slider. After all, "sometimes, you just need a li'l less butter."
The Soldier didn't really adjust well to life in Equestria. Not one moment after he found out about his new living arrangements, he had opened fire on a pony for asking where "America" was. Thankfully, his teammates had seen fit to replace his normal launcher with the Rocket Jumper, so all that happened was nothing and a pony nearly suffering a heart attack. After that, he marched a small distance into the Everfree Forest and set up a camp-slash-base, which he tactfully named "New America", complete with flag. He only left when he was needed for another job of robot smashing.
The Sniper also kept to himself, mostly. He was asked to be a guest speaker for the local school once, since he was one of the only mercenaries that was both sane and available at the time, but Ms. Cheerilee changed her mind once she learned of many things about the Australian, including (but not limited to) the nature of his job, the fact that he seemed to admire knives just a bit too much, and his bathroom habits.
As for the ponies...
Twilight Sparkle began working with the Medic in order to help further both of their scientific agendas. This totally did not entail the two of them dissecting each other. Nope. Not at all. On another subject, she still had not been able to pin down the Spy for questions/ranting at, but she kept looking for him, not knowing that he was almost literally right under her nose quite a lot of times.
Rarity didn't really enjoy the new competition from Mann Co., though she was relieved when she found out that they only made hats. Despite this, she continually made hats of her own, hoping to sway ponies into buying her head wear items. However, she didn't have much luck in this respect, and it didn't help that every other week, a hat she was working on would mysteriously disappear...
Rainbow Dash adapted fairly well to her new heart. In fact, she only remembered that when she was asked about how it was doing by the Medic one day. To this day, she now has a fear of both doctors and people with German accents. She also no longer had to bother the Scout for cans of that energy drink, as she could now buy them by the dozen from Mann Co. An intervention was staged by her friends, and she eventually kicked the habit. Also, she was banned from buying any more from the stores, as she was running their stocks dry.
Pinkie Pie threw a big party for the arrival of both Mann Co. and the mercs, but it quickly went downhill when the Soldier and the Demoman got into an argument over whether or not rocket jumping was invented by Abraham Lincoln (for the record, it was). Pinkie still throws parties for the team occasionally. The Pyros, in particular, seem to like the parties the most, which is odd, considering their fear of ponies.
Fluttershy personally didn't like the mercs' line of work, or the stories they would tell about how they had won against the robots this time, but she remained quiet about her opinions. The Medic also frightened her, mostly because she happened to walk in on him and Twilight having a rather heart-to-heart talk in her basement/lab.
Applejack still sold apples. She suspected the Spy of stealing a few of the fruits, but she had no proof, even though he definitely made sure she knew it was him ("This is Applejack! Pears make me cry! Over!"). She also stumbled in on the Medic and Twilight dissecting each other, so there's that.
Lyra was excited at all the new humans who had shown up, and she even convinced Twilight to let her be the first pony to read the book on human anatomy she was writing. She also got the Heavy to give her a book on human world history (written by him, no less), but it was in Russian.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders began a new wave of hair-brained schemes to get their cutie marks. Among the attempted tasks were helping the Engineer build things (they managed to make a single bolt fall apart), being a doctor like the Medic used to legally be (they managed to make an apple flatline before they even started cutting), and making sandviches like the Heavy (this happened).
As for Saxton Hale, he decided to take on Equestria's wildlife in his quest to kill at least one specimen of every animal ever. As of now, he's somewhere deep in the Everfree, beating a cockatrice in a staring contest. Rumor has it that he makes pelts of the animals he kills with his bare hands, of course, which he then sends to Celestia as reminders that no, he isn't dead, stop worrying about him.
And they all lived... something something something.
THE AND
