//------------------------------//
// Hollow Inside 
// Story: For the Love of Derpy Book 1: Smitten 
// by DrakoGlyph 
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	Huffing, I watched as Thunderstorm collapsed on the ground. For a few seconds, he did nothing and I feared that I had hit him hard enough to seriously hurt him. That fear was immediately vanquished as he roughly put a hoof on the dirt and staggered to stand. The stare he gave me was frightening as I wondered what he was going to do next.
Strata had to be concerned what Thunderstorm was going to do next too, because she backed up from between the two of us. I supposed it could have been handled better, but I had already landed the hoof across his snout. Thunderstorm ran off, and I knew my fate was sealed.
“Muffin?” Derpy said. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Because you’re crying.” I only then noticed that tears were falling from my eyes, soaking into my snout and the excess sinking into the clouds. She, and all my friends, came over and tried to console me. All five of them crowded around me, each trying to console me in a different way.
“We all appreciate what you did,” North Breeze said, “standing up for us like that…”
“But,” Alto said, “I think you could have handled that better.” There were tears forming in all of my friends’ eyes, to match my tear-soaked face.
“I think you’re going to get kicked out…” Sunny Skies said before falling out of her composure. She couldn’t hold herself together. 
“You’re the best friend I ever had, Sky Bolt,” Morning Dew said, falling apart herself. In fact, the only one who wasn’t completely bawling right now was Derpy. I could tell that she was almost there, though.
“I…” she said. “I can’t do this alone.” She turned her gaze to the ground. “And there’s nopony I would want to do this with me more than you, Muffin.” Tears dropped off her face and fell to the ground beneath her. “I can’t do this without you,” she said, looking back at me. The tears were about ready to completely control her. “I…” her voice trailed off as she fell to the ground. She was strong enough to make it on her own once, but now that she had been with me, I could tell that she never wanted to go back to being alone.
I knew what was going to happen. The other campers were going to ostracize me. I had made the only friends I would ever make in my life, and the chances were that I was never going to see most of them again. My own eyes were beginning to drown in tears when I heard something that surprised me.
All of them were cheering. The ones who stood beside Thunderstorm during the Storm Wrangling contest, those who were in our cabin at night, and those who I didn’t even know knew Thunderstorm. They were all cheering at the top of their lungs, celebrating that I had proven victorious over the one bully who ruled them all at the camp.
Strata, who was still standing in the middle of the larger circle, scoffed loudly and chased after Thunderstorm. The crowd only cheered louder, somehow coaxing more volume out of themselves. I didn’t do anything I was proud of. I had resorted to something that my father was always telling me not to do. I was being no better than Thunderstorm, in fact, I was being worse. And these ponies were cheering me on.
I walked away from them, head hung low. When I got back to the cabin, I found Thunderstorm covered up over his head.
“Thunderstorm?” I say, between sobs. 
There was no response.
“I just… I just wanted to say I’m sorry, you know, before I get kicked out.”
I watched the bed, and saw that it wasn’t moving in any kind of rhythm, like a normal pony would when they breathe. It was ragged and irregular, like if he was…
I pulled back the cover to find him with his head buried in the cloud, and he was crying so softly that I hadn’t heard it. When I thought about the fact that I had done this to him, I only felt worse. Thunderstorm helped me get through the years leading up to this, and, granted, he wasn’t the best of friends, he was the only one who ever said anything besides “Blank Flank.”
I racked my memory for the days when he didn’t have his cutie mark. They were so faded in my mind that thinking about them was watching them being drawn on a page, refreshed by my inquiry. In those days, we were the only two without our cutie marks in a class of about nine. The other fillies and colts around our age were either home-schooled, which seemed fairly common, or a class ahead of us or behind us. We had stuck together no matter what.
Those were the days that he was actually my friend, but he was always trying to fit in more with the ones who had their cutie marks, often leaving me alone. He never treated me badly then, that all started the Friday when he revealed he had his cutie mark.
He was sweet back in the beginning, even if I didn’t know him. I could only guess as to why there was such a difference in him when he did get his cutie mark. I didn’t know why.
I tried to delve deeper into my memories to think about my early relationship with Thunderstorm, but I didn’t remember anything more than a week or so before he got his cutie mark.
“Thunderstorm, could I ask you a question?” I use my softest voice. My tears had stopped for now, but I knew that they would come back again before the night was over.
“Haven’t you done enough, Sky Bolt?”
“I just… I just want to know you… like in the old days.”
“You never actually knew me, Sky Bolt. That’s the problem. You never saw how it was at home for me. You never saw what it was like growing up, never being perfect enough for my father, my mother always being too preoccupied in her own things to pay attention to me. She volunteered at this camp because she ‘felt bad’ for never being there for me growing up.”
“I… I didn’t know…”
“My father didn’t love me. He may have said it, but his hoof said otherwise.”
“Oh, I…” I had no response for this. How could I say something about this when he clearly had a more troubled life than I ever knew.
“I grew jaded and calloused, but it never really helped. I wasn’t the son my father wanted. He wanted a Weather Factory Worker, like he was, but I found my talent in Cloud Busting. I knew then that I was going to be a weather pony.
“He—he said it was because I didn’t study hard enough. He said that it was because I was young and confused. I didn’t really know what I liked, he said. But when I showed him my cutie mark…”
I had to brace myself, the story would only get worse from here, but I needed to know it. He was, after all, the first pony I ever gave the title friend to, even if he didn’t really seem to live up to it.
“I learned that you can’t remove a cutie mark. There’s no magic cure that will undo and make it all right again. My father only got worse after that. Mother, she was never around to protect me from his hoof.” His head sunk even farther in the pillow. “I made the wrong choices in life, I guess. I wanted to be a weather pony, and I can’t even do it better than you.”
“Thunderstorm,” I said, reaching my hoof over to console him, but he swatted it away when it came within contact of him. I turned away from him, crawled onto my bed, and started to pack my stuff into my saddlebags.
I didn’t know anything about Thunderstorm, and I chose to unleash the retribution on him. How had I acted any better than he did? I had become my own worst nightmare. I was now the worst pony I knew. I’m sure not even Nightmare Moon would have done something so terrible. I knew what was coming. I put the cloud project I was working on in my bag, complete with a little more cloud I had stored from this afternoon.
I looked at the pitiful excuse of a cloud crafting project. It wasn’t something I was exceptionally proud of, but I knew that I didn’t have the skills to complete the project on my own.
I looked back at the dark-gray Pegasus in the bed beside me when all of my stuff was in the saddlebag. “I’m sorry, Thunderstorm.” I supposed he fell asleep because he didn’t respond.
I poked my head out of my window to see Derpy and Alto, tears in their eyes, waving from their cabin, and Morning Dew and Sunny Skies were in there too. All four of them were waving with various amounts of composure. I could see in Derpy’s eyes that she was about to lose it when she ducked beneath the window. Alto, Morning Dew, and Sunny all immediately looked at where Derpy must have been, then dropped out of the window.
I noticed that the cloud muffin I had made from her was missing from the window sill. I could only figure that she was holding it close to her. I laid down, now having no one to wave at, and cried myself almost silently to sleep.

The morning came too soon. My head was still rummaging around, trying to piece together what was going to happen to me. There was no doubt that they were going to send me home. I knew that much. But how would I ever be happy? All the foals in Cloudsdale were my bullies, and even if I could sway them to join me, they would never make me as happy as Derpy did every day.
I sulked out of the cabin, where Derpy, Alto, Morning Dew, Sunny, and North all formed what seemed like a Royal Guard, leading me to the Mess Hall. Whenever other foals in the camp would see me, they would applaud me and cheer me on for standing up to the one biggest bully. The only two I didn’t see all morning were Strata and Thunderstorm.
We shared our breakfast as normal, but I didn’t feel like touching it at all. I wasn’t hungry in the slightest after what I did to Thunderstorm. I just hoped that one day he would forgive me. I doubted it would happen, but the hope that he could give me one more chance was all that was keeping me going. My friends could read my expressions on my face.
“Muffin?” Derpy asked in her softest tone, nearly interrupted by a sniffle. “Are you going to be okay?”
“I don’t know,” I say, pushing my plate toward the other five sitting at my table.
“We’ll write you,” Alto said, “every week!”
“I’ll do the writing for all of us,” Morning Dew said. “I have great writing.”
“Just give us your address,” Sunny tried to say with a smile, but her sadness over losing the friend she had come to care for so was tormenting her.
“I’ll keep them safe,” North Breeze said, with a hoof to my chin. “You don’t have to worry about them. I don’t think anypony is going to mess with them now. And if they do, I’ll be sure to protect them just like you have defended all of us.” It was some comfort, I had to admit that, but it wasn’t enough to replace all the pain and emptiness I felt inside, knowing that I wasn’t going to see Derpy.
“Thanks, North Breeze,” I ceded, the tears drenching my coat as I wipe them from my eyes with my foreleg.
Derpy couldn’t say anything, she was too down and blue.
With Breakfast over, my guard escorted me out of the Mess, and there was none other than Sky Fire, the captain of the Wonderbolts, the one I had seen on the first day of flight camp. I knew this was my reckoning. She was the one in charge of the camp. It was her word that would determine my fate here at flight camp.
With a nod from me, the ensemble that had been following me backed up. I could tell that they were all hoping that Sky Fire would let me stay, but my heart told me that wasn’t even close to be a real possibility. My life had never really gone that well, so why would this?
I mean, I was a Pegasus let into Hoofball, but kicked out because I had used my wings; I was in Orchestra camp, where all the others would make fun of me because I was a Pegasus. The places I went always made fun of my lack of a cutie mark. And now, the only friends I had ever made… I couldn’t think about it. My eyes and nose were already soaked through, and I could feel the snot starting to flow inside my nose. We walked to a large building where all sorts of mares and stallions were constantly bustling about. She led me through the halls to one room where I took a seat on the opposite side of a desk. My gaze fell upon a pattern in the floor.
“Sky Bolt, I have heard that you punched a fellow camper last night,” she said, matter-of-factly. “The camp will not tolerate such violence. It is a disgrace and will not be allowed to continue. We will be sending you home.”
“That’s fine with me,” I said. It was like a band-aid, you had to take it off quickly or it hurt so much more. I just wanted to get on with my remnants of life without Derpy. It was something I never wanted to think about, but I had to. There was no way that I could stay.
“Listen, Sky Bolt, I can’t stop this if you don’t talk to me. Now, I read your file,” she said, sliding  a folder across the desk. “This is not something you’ve ever done. I just want to know why. Why have you done this?”
I kept silent. I couldn’t do that to Thunderstorm. Not after what he told me. He had enough bad luck through his life. I didn’t want to give him any more. He changed so much, but those days I first met him, those were enough for me to consider some fragment inside him my friend, even if all the following years had hidden it from me.
“Sky Bolt, listen, the only thing that I can do is send you home. Your parents are on their way, and I really can’t help put an end to whatever made you break if you don’t let me.” Sky Fire tried to weasel the truth out of me, but I am firm my decision to keep from telling on Thunderstorm. 
The tears fall onto the part of the floor that I’m staring at. I was sure Sky Fire was just trying to help, but there was nothing that I really wanted help with. I had done what I had done, and I made mistakes that I couldn’t take back. 
I suppose I would want to take them back, after knowing that Thunderstorm was so poorly treated back home. I should  known that. If I had been a good friend, I would have known that. But as it stood, I was the bad guy. I had resorted to violence. My parents had always told me to not resort to it.
Sky Fire got up from her desk, came around, and put a hoof around me. I didn’t have the energy left to move her comfort away. All I could think was how I was losing Derpy. I was losing every friend I had in the world. I figured there would be no way I would ever see them again. Sure, I could write them while they were at Flight Camp, but what about after that? When they all went on to their own lives? How would I keep in contact, and when will they find the time to keep in contact with me?
There was the sound of the door opening. Sky Fire removed her hoof from my back, walked out for a minute. I could tell there was something being said, I just couldn’t hear what. When hoofsteps came back into the room, I looked around. The office had all sorts of pictures of her and her filly, in various places, but she was generally in her Wonderbolt Uniform. The pictures told a story that I couldn’t quite piece together, but in every one of them, they all seemed happy.
The desk was the same kind of wood that made up the floor I was staring at, and behind her was a big window that looked out over the camp. I could see the faces of several foals wondering what would go on with me.
My parents had walked in with Sky Fire. I couldn’t read their faces, but I knew they were hiding something. I returned my gaze to the spot on the floor before I could take in the glare, or stare, or whatever they would throw at me.
“I cannot tolerate this kind of behavior on my campus,” Sky Fire told my parents.
“Sky Bolt wouldn’t just do this kind of thing,” my mom said.
“And that’s just what I gathered from his record. The thing is, nopony is telling me what happened.” I had a guess that they were all looking at me when that was said. “I can only gather that he was provoked into doing it,” Sky Fire concluded, “but I just don’t know who provoked him or how he was provoked.”
There was a brief moment of silence.
“I have no choice, Mr. and Mrs. Bolt. I have to send him home.”
“That’s perfectly understandable,” my father said. I wished I could read what emotion that was in his voice. There was still another month and a half of Flight Camp, and I was being sent home. I figured he was completely disappointed that I would never be an accomplished flier.
“Thank you for your understanding, Mr. Bolt. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a matter to attend to.” The sounds of the pony outside the office came in and led my parents out, who beckoned me along. I followed, never looking up from the ground. When I made it back to the cabin, I grabbed my saddlebags without a word, and turned to see my parents. They were giving me a look that I didn’t think I’d ever seen before. As such, I didn’t know what it meant.
As we walked to the camp entrance, my friends all gathered around me. North, Alto, Morning Dew, and Sunny were all walking with me. The other foals that I had affected had gathered to give me a farewell worthy of a bedtime story hero. The one filly I wanted to see most, though, I didn’t see anywhere.
I began to grow more and more aware that she was absent from the scene as we grew closer and closer to the gate, and it became clear that she didn’t want to say goodbye. I climbed into dad’s cart, waving to the four of my friends who I saw, but there was an empty pit that only Derpy could fill. As we pulled away, I could only wonder why she hadn’t shown up. Was I really that bad of a friend? Did I do something wrong?
I just didn’t know what I did wrong.