//------------------------------// // Chapter 4 // Story: My Little Princess // by pyromANarchist //------------------------------// MLP chapter 4 For a month Twilight had waited, waited for a chance, a mistake on Fluttershy's part. Not at all times patiently, but she waited. Fluttershy wasn't perfect, and so therefore had to make a mistake somewhere, surely? Well, you would be right. One day it happened, so much without warning that it came to a shock to Twilight. Tea had been served. Today's meal was tomato soup with thick slices of buttered bread. As Fluttershy left Twilight has grown accustomed to hearing a heavy thunk as a metal bolt was drawn across the door. So when she heard nothing but silence a twinge of hope ignited in her heart. She waited, as if expecting at any moment to hear the familiar sound. The silence continued. Butterflies wriggled in her stomach. This is what she had been waiting for all this time. She felt her heart thumping faster and faster. Almost in disbelief Twilight refused to believe what she has perceived until she had felt the door for herself. She suppressed her panicked hope for fear that she had misheard. She hauled herself up and took a few tentative steps towards the stairs. In all her time here she hasn't grown immune to the effects of the miracle drug Fluttershy used to keep her imprisoned. She dragged herself up the stairs step by slow step. She was sweating, could it be true? Could she finally have a chance to escape? After what seemed like hours she summited the steps and shuffled along to the heavy door. For a few seconds she stared at the door contemplatively, wondering what she would do if it was locked. Her weeks of imprisonment had turned her pessimistic and cynical, and she expected it to be locked and her to be crazy. She almost wanted it to be so she had an excuse to feel the way she was. So when she shoved the door gently and it opened Twilight fell over in surprise. She scrambled to her feet and looked around nervously. She couldn't believe this had happened. Was she dreaming? No, this was real. She regained her balance and slowly stumbled along the corridor, praying Fluttershy didn't play her party trick of appearing out of nowhere. Fortunately she didn't.  She made it to the end of the corridor. There was a windowed door ahead that seemed to lead to the back of the kitchen. She apprehensively looked around the room, expecting to see Fluttershy's grinning face staring at her from a vantage point, hypodermic needle in hoof. She even looked up to the ceiling. She wasn't falling for that one again. Placing a hoof on the handle, she pushed open the door. It let out a long, drawn out squeak, but besides that, there was dead silence. Twilight awkwardly straggled across the hard kitchen floor towards a door. Through the window in the door she could see a dazzling light. Daylight. Finally she had seen the sight she believed she would never see again. The gorgeous red sun radiated down onto lush green meadows, and animals milled around munching on dewy grass. It was a perfect sunset. Twilight rushed towards it. All that lay between her and escape was an inch thick slab of wood and glass. The square of heaven seemed to fly towards her as she advanced. Opening the door she took a breath of fresh air, her first in a month. The scent of pollen and grass filled her lungs. She bursted out into the open air. The intense light was almost too much for Twilight after her weeks of darkness. She squinted heavily and looked around. There was sweet smelling trees around her, with rolling hills of thick, soft grass stretching into the distance. The smell of outside overwhelmed her. It was intoxicating. Putting a foreleg over her head to shield her eyes from the slanting evening sun she located a single track that led over a small, sparkling stream and into the town, just half a mile away. She was free at last! At long long last she had escaped! Twilight began to walk towards the town. Slowly and unsteadily she dragged herself along the road. Weeks of dependence on drugs made her unsteady. Night quickly fell. What would have taken a normal pony about ten minutes took Twilight in her weakened state over an hour. Her joy at escaping quickly subsided into a physical struggle to keep walking. It was like trying to climb a mountain or run a marathon. She almost felt like she couldn't carry on. Every step was a struggle. A pang of worry struck her. Could she make it into Ponyville if she tried? She dismissed the thought. She would rather die trying than go back. The time quickly came that Fluttershy would come to her with the drugs for sleeping. Twilight was shaking from the physical exertion but she knew she had to carry on. To admit defeat now would be impossible. She was feeling very ill now, she presumed from the sheer exertion of struggling against the drug. Or was it physical exertion? Something definitely wasn't right with her. Something else, besides exhaustion. She stopped walking, stood still and took stock of her situation. Something definitely wasn't right. Being a faithful student and having read books on self diagnosis before, she ran through a few simple checks. Twilight felt nausea, muscle aches and cold sweats. Her stomach dropped. She recognised those symptoms. She knew where but desperately didn't want to admit it to herself. She didn't want to face it. She was dependent on the drugs. Her rear leg twitched. She wanted to go back and get some more. She knew she couldn't, but she wanted to. She carried on walking, hoping the exercise would shake the symptoms away, but instead they progressed. The cravings grew more and more intense. It was like Fluttershy had attached a leash to her hind leg that was reeling her in. It was a mental struggle to press on. She had doubts as to whether she could make it back. She knew she had to try. Half of her wanted to say she would rather die trying, but as the pain intensified she knew that wasn't the case. She looked up to see how much ground she had covered. Barely half way. A long long way still to go. She carried on. She knew it was only a matter of time before her body packed in, but she hoped that time would come after she arrived in town. Minutes passes like hours. Every step intensified the worry and sickness. But she carried on. The evening soon settled into dusk. At her achingly slow rate the scenery was immediately more apparent to Twilight. Fluttershy had chosen, of all the places, to live right next to the Everfree forest. Looking at it again, she still shivered at the sight of the crooked branches and deep, pitch black shadows, concealing unspeakable evils. In her weak condition, she would have no way of hiding should a Manticore or Timber Woolf appear. Or Fluttershy. The temperature quickly dropped under the clear indigo sky. It would have been a beautiful sight if Twilight had the peace of mind to enjoy it. Silvery blue swathes of countryside rolled into the distance, and trees became outlined in shining white. Twilight's shivering and twitching progressed, half due to the temperature, half otherwise. Her stomach cramped. She clutched it with a forehoof and lowered her head in pain, her face twisted. Grimacing, she took another step forward. The pain refused to go away. Focusing on the scenery hadn't done anything to solve her problem. It was becoming harder and harder to walk. She looked back at the house that had been her prison for so long. It seemed so far away, yet so did the lights from the town. If she couldn't make it to the town, she had no choice, she would have to go back. But looking at it now, she seemed to be exactly half way. If she couldn't make it to town, she couldn't make it back either. She has gone too far to turn back. She was on her own now, until she reached safety. She slugged on, falling into a routine of throwing herself at the next step, then the next, then the next. Every step was a battle in her mind and body. This continued for what seemed like hours, until finally her step faltered. She slumped against a tree that chaffed against her matted fur. Looking between the house and back, she felt as if she was out at sea, swimming against the tide from one shore to another. If she stayed out, she would die. But exhaustion, or whatever it was, prevented further movement. She was sweating, despite being freezing. She was shivering, although not getting any warmer. Het head pulsed and she saw stars. Her stomach cramped again, her mind a turmoil of pain. She was drowning, the shore just too far out of reach. Drawing on inner reserves of strength the stood up and desperately tried again to move. She scarcely made it to the next tree before collapsing. She could hear nothing but her own heavy breathing. Was this it? Was this all she had? It couldn't be. She tried lifting her legs to drag herself to her hooves, but nothing came of it. Instead she could only watch the world as time passed. But not much time passed before something happened. Within a matter of seconds an all too familiar face calmly floated down from the heavens to come against Twilight's. Twilight knew this was the end. "I allowed that, to show you how useless trying to rebel is. Come on Twilight, wouldn't it just be easier to accept it? You're mine." A small pinprick in her hind, and soon her mind was laid to rest. The next day brought with it a cold, bleak light. Red adorned the outline of the thin, jagged clouds that clung to the horizon, as if they were blades threatening the ground to retaliate. A stiff breeze ran it's fingers through the branches of the forest, rattling as it went. The weather was changing for the worse. As Twilight regained consciousness the truth stabbed her through in a wave of hopelessness. Her only chance of escape had passed her by, now the only thing that lay ahead was the eternal purgatory of imprisonment. There would be no more mistakes. That was it. She had her chance, but failed. She had been here before, feeling these feelings and thinking these thoughts, but never like this. Something had snapped that last night. The all to usual self pity and grief were gone. In replacement was pure, unadulterated hate. Her lengthy time of insanity had removed any semblance of Twilight Sparkle and put in place an effigy of hate. Instead of hope, there was depression. Instead of fear, there was recklessness. Instead of optimism, there was cynicism. Twilight was no longer Twilight. Her mind was sucked dry, void of all emotion other than twisted depression. She had become a snake, poised and ready for ambush, waiting for another chance to get back at her captor. And as soon as she could, she would. But that wasn't the only thing to have changed in recent days. Fluttershy too, was sliding further and further into the mind trap she had set herself. Of course, she had Twilight as hers, no one could refute that, yet still something was lacking. Twilight didn't want to be hers. That could be expected. But even now, when it would be so much easier to give up and accept it, she still fought. Even after all this time she still actively refused. Why couldn't she just accept her fate? She doesn't need to fight back, she has everything provided for her. Fluttershy just didn't understand how this situation could still feel so empty. That is why she let Twilight out, so she could see for her self how fighting is not worth it. There's no point being awkward, when you could just go with it and be fine. She hoped Twilight would see that now, and things would be different. That Twilight would see things from her perspective, and how she didn't need to feel anger towards her. She had done all she could. After all, that was the reason why she had done so, so she could have Twilight and not loose her. She just wanted to always be there for her, to care and look after her, forever. And she was doing so, but still it just didn't feel right. Though with the new development, this might change. Fluttershy carried the cooked breakfast along the corridor to the stairs. The door was unlocked. She floated graciously down the stairs and smiled at Twilight. Twilight wasn't looking, she was staring at a patch of wall in front of Fluttershy, but she felt the air of hostility around her friend. Her smile wavered, but remained. She cleared her throat. "Twilight, breakfast is ready" she spoke Twilight turned and glared straight at Fluttershy with frenzied intensity. Fluttershy was quite taken aback at the aggressiveness of her stance. "What use does it make? If I refuse to eat you will only force feed me. You won't let me just curl up and die, will you?" came the curt reply. Fluttershy laughed gently. "And why would I do something like that?" "Because it's what I want to do" Twilight said firmly. There was a moments grim silence. "You don't need to fight, Twilight. All I wanted was to be here for you, and I have been. I'm looking after you. I'm not your enemy, I'm your friend. There's no need to be like that, so why carry on?" "You're not my friend" she said shortly. She stuffed her mouth full of food and refused to talk.  Fluttershy gave up. She gently lifted off the ground and floated up the stairs, not locking the door as she went. Many conversations had gone like this before, but none held the same significance as this one had. Things were changing, and Fluttershy was changing too. She had already given it time, and things hadn't improved. She was at a loss as to what had gone wrong. Why would Twilight say something like that? She was her friend, wasn't she? They were all friends. But things were so different now. Twilight was different. Her intentions were innocent, she hadn't meant any harm to anyone, let alone Twilight. She just didn't want to loose a friend. She couldn't live with the loss of a friend. That's the reason for her shyness, because she is permanently scared of loosing what she has. So she made sure she would never loose her friend. But things didn't exactly go to plan. She shook herself. The morning was still young, but Fluttershy has things to do. She didn't need to lock the door anymore, Twilight couldn't escape, she was fairly certain of that. Besides, she needed something to clear her head. Underneath her Twilight silently waited for a thud that meant the upstairs outside door has closed. Fluttershy had left. Picking herself up off the floor, she made her slow way over to the stairs. She knew what she had to do. Ascending the stairs she contemplated the prospect before her. Strangely there was no emotion. No fear, no dread, no apprehension. She reached the corridor. There wasn't even relief, no hope, just in case her plan died before she did. Reaching the kitchen she looked around. Fluttershy was nowhere. To her left was the wall, painted a simple off white. Ahead was the door that lead to the outside, it's window casting a rectangle of harsh light onto the stone tiled floor. To her right was the kitchen proper. On one side there were old cupboards below and above the working surface and a sink. On the far wall was a cooker. On the side nearer her was a desk like working surface with cupboards above and stools below. There were several drawers by the sink, but Twilight quickly found what she was looking for on the desk.  The knife rack held several long, sharp blades. Not the type that would look inappropriate in a kitchen, but long and sharp all the same. Clutching at one with two hooves, she picked out of the wooden rack a thin but pointy one, about three inches long. It didn't need to be long to cut her throat. She raised it to her throat to take aim, lowered it to her chest, took a deep breath in, and collapsed to the ground. The clean knife clattered to the ground right next to her chest, as Fluttershy reclaimed the needle that pierced her flesh at the base of her spine. She wouldn't even let her just curl up and die. Fluttershy looked on with mixed emotions burning her heart like cyanide. She stared as Twilight's eyes filled with rage and then gently closed, her mouth preparing to scream obscenities at her before loosing and hanging open as she crumpled up on the cold stone floor. First there was quiet anger that she would try to do that. That was quickly dispelled as it was always. Then came sadness, that Twilight honestly felt like committing the act. Then came utter depression in knowing that her actions had done such a thing.  Fluttershy stood and stared at the corpse-like body that lay before her. Her mind raced, a mixer of volatile emotions. She was having yet another revelation. She felt this way the night Twilight declared she was becoming an Alicorn. Then she realised she never wanted to let Twilight out of her sight, never wanted to loose her. Now, things are different. True, Twilight would never be out of her sight again. But that creature in her basement was not Twilight. It could never be Twilight again. She bad broken her. In the act of preserving her friendship, she had lost it. Twilight was conscious, she just hadn't opened her eyes yet. That put the metaphorical axe through that idea. Now life became a game of waiting. Waiting for food, waiting for a chance to hurt her captor, and maybe, just maybe, just waiting for a chance to escape, alive or not. All the empty hours spent now meant nothing. They passed by without Twilight even noticing. She knew now that her life was nothing, she had no choice. The only thing left was to take Fluttershy down with her. Slowly the red sun rose into the grey sky. Through a thin layer of hazy cloud, vague shadows shrunk with the passing of time. The grey haze thickened and thinned as spring rain showers rolled across the miserable sky. The sun seemed forgotten, trekking a solitary path from horizon to horizon, at midday having no more strength than it did at sunrise. Wildlife seemed to have forgotten to wake up, and the waterlogged fields were void of animals. Besides the pitter patter of rain, the landscape was oddly silent. At noon the sky was darkened as a heavy shower was pushed across the sky by a team of Pegasi. Down below on the ground Fluttershy was thinking. Not intentionally, but as she worked, her mind was chipping away at the problem that seemed so insolvable. What went wrong? A large vulture was perched on the window sill, staring intently away from the portal to freedom by his side. He had once been a handsome bird, soaring majestically on currents, without moving a muscle. Then he broke his wing and was grounded for several weeks. Fluttershy found him entangled in a tree, half dead and helpless. Now, after all this time, he refused to take to the skies once more. It was a sad sight, really. The once proud flier grounded, too afraid to return to his former glory. Fluttershy had been pleading with the animal to at least try, but it was no use. It wasn't that he was a nervous creature before the accident, he was always bold and full of bravado and pride, but the crash seemed to have taken away that confidence. He had changed. He just wasn't the same. "Honestly, you've not been the same since, it's as if you are a different person..." There was a long, drawn out silence as an epiphany hit her like a blackjack. It was a revelation. Of course, that's what went wrong. It was obvious now she looked at it this way. She had taken Twilight, but after everything that happened, she had changed. Twilight wasn't Twilight anymore. Just like the vulture had lost it's former self, Fluttershy had lost the former Twilight she knew and loved. It made sense to her now. How could she have ben so stupid before? For a short while that new idea pleased her, after all, it was the solution to her problem. But that made her stop and think more, and after a bit, her half smile was wiped from her face as the full impacts became clear to her. Just the same as the vulture, Twilight wasn't coming back. Not now, not ever. It was suddenly quite clear to her, what she had done, what that entailed. She had done everything to make sure, to be certain, that she would never loose a friend. A friend that she thought she could never live without. But now that friend was gone. In the very action she took to save her friend, she had lost her. And it would never, ever, be the same again. Fluttershy thought back to all she had subjected her friend to. All the pain, all the misery, all the heartbreak. Her friend didn't deserve that. No, she had been cruel, hurtful and had damaged her friend. She knew that now. Emotions coursed through her in a surge that engulfed her. Sadness, pain, depression, anger. She just wanted to take it all back, say sorry and have it over and done with. Just to forget everything about the last month. But she knew she could never do that. It had gone too far, too long. Twilight was broken beyond repair, and it was all her fault. She couldn't do anything about that. This time, there was no getting away from it. She would be banished, her friends would never see her again, and she would be an outcast. She could never live with that. She could never live knowing she had done what she had done. But she would have to. Sooner or later, she would have to face up to her punishment, whatever that meant. And it all starts now. She stared at the vulture, and at the desk like working surface on which it's shadow was cast. She knew what she had to do. Twilight hadn't moved. She didn't feel the need to. She heard a familiar creak as the door was pushed open. She didn't react. Now was her chance. She would ignore her, completely blank her. It would be as if she didn't exist. That is the only thing in her life she had left to control, was when she spoke. And she would control it. Still staring at the wall, she didn't see Fluttershy standing there in the doorway. Instead of trying to illicit a response, Fluttershy glided over to in front of Twilight's face. Still she didn't see her, she seemed to look straight through her. "I'm sorry" Fluttershy said, simply "What? Sorry? No, you don't get it do you? Sorry is when you step on someponies hoof, or spill a drink on someponies carpet, this is not sorry. Sorry just doesn't cut it here, and never could" "I know. I know you could never forgive me, and I couldn't either. That's why I'm doing this" she said as she raised the knife from where it was tucked into her wing. Twilight flinched and scrambled backwards, ready to give one final struggle before Fluttershy put her out of her misery for good. It was what she wanted, but she wasn't going to go without hurting Fluttershy as much as she could. She was closer now, advancing with long wingbeats. Raising the knife above her head in her right hoof, she prepared to strike. Twilight ducked back further but it was no use, Fluttershy would always be in reach as long as she could fly. Bracing herself, Fluttershy closed her eyes, took a deep breath and brought the knife down. It found it's target, sinking into the soft flesh. With a single swift movement, there was a soft patter as a spurt of crimson liquid sprayed onto the wall, and a muffled clump as the body of a pony fell to the floor. Then, there was silence. Twilight looked at the corpse of her friend. A small trickle of blood from her severed neck formed a trail down into the grout of the floor. She felt the passing of something, as if a huge weight was lifted off her. It took a few seconds for everything to sink in. Fluttershy was dead. Her captor, gone. She was free. As if all of a sudden, the old Twilight groggily awoke from her grave inside her mind. It was over. The torment was no more. That was it, it was done. She was free at long, long last. No more empty nothing, no more insanity. No more passing time, waiting to die, no more drugs. Twilight smiled. Life would soon return to normal for her. She could leave, nothing was stopping her, she didn't have to spend a minute longer in this place. She turned to the stairs and made her wobbly, unsteady way to the base, grinning wildly. She turned and saw the motionless body at the centre of the room. She felt sad that it had to end like that. She wished her friend would have just let her go. She was sure after a while Fluttershy could have returned to normal. No one had to die. It was obvious she was insane, but her base intentions weren't bad. Twilight still couldn't see her point of view, but she was sure she hadn't meant to hurt her. One thing above all made Twilight think: maybe if she hadn't been so horrible to her, she wouldn't have felt so bad. After all, in her insanity she had been quite mean. But could she have avoided that when the mental bonds of her treatment messed her so? It was confusing, and painful to think about. That her friend had slid down into that low state of mind made for a twinge of pain in her liberation. Twilight would miss her shy friend. Taking a few bottles of drugs Fluttershy has displayed in the kitchen, she opened the door. A cold red sun met her. The skies had long since cleared themselves of the grey film that wreathed the horizon, and now an indigo bowl was left to greet the unicorn as she walked out to meet a cool, fresh air that welcomed her back to life.