Friend Zone

by Venficus

Friend Zone

I like this girl so much,
She’s always on my mind,

We have an awesome time,
We never cross the line
She don’t wanna mess up the friendship,
I’m in a frenzy
Cause my bedroom’s empty
And I’m gently attempting to win her over
By being as good a friend as I can be
She’s tempting but riddled with doubt
Friend Zone is like the Mafia,
You’ll NEVER get out!

Rainbow Dash was undoubtedly the most awesome mare to ever grace Ponyville. She was the only living filly to perform the legendary Sonic Rainboom, The Element of Loyalty, and the fastest Pegasus around. She was also feeling very not awesome at the moment.

Why, you may ask?

Well, the Great Rainbow Dash is feeling generous, so yes, you may.

“I mean, what does she even see in the bastard? He’s not so great. With his fancy magic and multiple degrees…I’m ten times more awesome than him! …..Okay, he’s smart. An egghead. A unicorn. Like her. One more thing he is that I’m not..? In the friend Zone.” Rainbow faceplanted against the self crafted cloud table with a sigh of annoyance.

“Why do you let her get to you like this, Rainbow? You are THE Rainbow Dash! Future Wonderbolt and the most amazing pony in Ponyville! …And very much single because you can’t move past a crush. Bleh. May as well get some flying in to clear my head.”

The clear breeze did wonders for her mood as Rainbow leapt out of her cloud home through her custom-made-on-the-spot flight window (also known as jumping through the wall).

Soaring through the evening sky, she closed her eyes, feeling the smallest hints of a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth. The wind sung a song of freedom and her heart beat in tune as she spun and looped around clouds in the brilliant twilight sky. Judging her distance from Ponyville to be sufficient, she closed her eyes. With a resounding boom, she left an explosion of color to behind her, adding her own touch to the beautiful scenery.

Her mouth broke into a grin as she let out an unheard whoop of elation, her mood lifted from her previous funk. She suddenly smirked, getting an idea as she turned back toward Ponyville, leaving a radiant light stream of colors trailing in her wake. With a lighthearted laugh, she made a arcing rainbow over Ponyville, before turning and making another faint rainbow right underneath the first as her speed slowed.

With a showy flutter of wings, she made her landing in the town square amid applause from her fans.
“Rainbow Dash, that was AWESOME!”

“It’s so pretty!”

“It’s a double rainbow….what does it MEAN? It's so vivid!”

“You’ve really outdone yourself this time, Rainbow. You’re getting better and better at doing the Sonic Rainboom. I’m surprised the Wonderbolts HAVEN’T recruited you yet.” Wait…she knew that voice. A brilliant smile lit her face…

Only for it to vanish at the sight of her crush, Twilight Sparkle, next the unicorn stallion she despised more than anything in Equestria. His midnight black mane was immaculately groomed, and his likewise black coat was a glossy black. His eyebrow was raised in expertly concealed annoyance as he gazed at her, sparking a far more noticeable reaction from Rainbow as her heart began to beat loudly in her chest as her hooves trembled.

Whether it was the rage or sadness, she wasn’t sure, but her eyes narrowed as she instinctively went into a fighting pose. Get AWAY from her you bastard son of a bucking MULE, or I will kick your FLANK from here to Canterlot, and all the way to hell!

“Rainbow Dash! What are you doing? Stop that this instant!” The awe in Twilight’s voice had vanished, only to be replaced by anger. “I don’t know what you have against Night Shade, but stop it and work it out like responsible ponies, or leave us alone!”

“But Twilight, he…!” A second look at him revealed his annoyance had vanished and he wore a look of innocent bafflement. Rainbow felt her chest clench as her face grew red with rage.

A little known fact about Pegasi was that like unicorns, they had innate magic talent. While Unicorns had telekinesis, pegasi had the power to affect the sky and weather. The greater their affinity, the more power over the sky they had. It is rumored that Commander Hurricane himself was able to create tornados in his rage with naught but a flap of his mighty wings, and create high pressure pockets in battle to disorient his foes.

Unknown to Rainbow, as her face grew redder and her anger grew, the air around her grew heavy as the sky darkened. Her heart beat in her chest as her hooves dug into the ground.
Everyone in the square watched in tense silence, feeling as though the air was weighing them down as they watched the Elements of Loyalty and Magic stare each other down.

“….Fine. Goodbye, Twilight Sparkle. I’d hate to interrupt your DATE.” Rainbow spat, her elated mood hurled to the ground at Mach speed, and buried under five tons of rock after being savagely beaten to death. Without another word, she shot up into the air, heading as far out of town as she could get...also known as the Apple farm.

“I’m sorry about that, Night…She’s been acting aggressive and unpleasant since I introduced you. Are you sure you two have never met?” Twilight blushed, looking at her coltfriend apologetically.

He flashed her a winning smile. “Don’t worry about it. Some ponies don’t react well to change, and finding your special somepony is a big change, isn’t it?” He nuzzled her neck, making her blush as he hid his smirk. Not today, Pegasus. Deal with it. This unicorn is mine. “Anyway, back to that book you were telling me about?”

Twilight snapped back to reality, turning red as she looked around and remembered where they were. “O-oh yeah. A-anyway, I’m only half way through it, but I’m not sure what to expect anymore. I mean, villains who can match an alicorn for power aren’t uncommon in stories, but for Commander Conflict to utterly negate all magic around him, even a Princess’...he seems overpowered, and he’s not even the main villain. And don’t get me STARTED on how suspicious the Night Guard is…”

Rainbow arrived at the apple farm in a foul mood, something Applejack noticed right off.

“Well, sugercube, you seem to be in ah bit of a huff. What’s going on?”

“Twilight-bucking-SPARKLE and that THING she’s been attached to for the last several weeks. Something about him just rubs me the wrong way, but she won’t listen to me, Applejack!”

Applejack blinked. Normally, Rainbow took a bit of convincing to share what her problem was, but the last few weeks, she had been getting steadily more volatile. Better be careful…

“What’d she do now? And ya know, you should be happy she found her own special somepony. I’ve not once heard to tell her you were happy for her, sugercube. I know it’s hard; her bein’ all antisocial with everyone but him, but ain’t all young love like that? She probab’ly don’t even know she’s doin’ it. You gotta be more understandin’ Rainbow. Every time you see the two of them, you get all cold and angry. Yah need to let it go and accept that she’s living her life to the fullest. Sure, she’s busy now, and hasn’t hung out with us in….a couple weeks….but that’s no reason ta get all moody.”

Rainbow let out an inarticulate noise of frustration. “You don’t GET it, Applejack! He’s TAKING her from us! And no one but me is trying to DO anything about it! Three weeks from now, she’ll have forgotten we even matter, and she’ll leave with him, just wait and see!”

A harsh shove broke Rainbow from her rant, bring her focus back to Applejack, who was glaring at her in disappointment.

“So that’s it, ain’t it, Rainbow? You don’t like it that you aren’t the center of attention. Yer jealous that somepony that isn’t you is taking everyone’s attention. You can’t be happy for your friend because she’s ignoring your jealous flank? I’m disappointed in you, sugercube. I honestly thought you were better ‘n that. I think you need to go, Rainbow. Go home and think about what it means to be a true friend. Once you figure that out, come back and we’ll talk about how you can say sorry to Twi for trying to ruin her relationship.”

Rainbow felt tears prickling at her eyes. “You….don’t understand, Applejack. Why won’t you listen to me..?”

“Don’t bother turning on the waterworks. It don’t suit you, sugercube.” Applejack said, turning away.
A small sob was the last thing she heard from Rainbow before a rush of wind signaled her departure. Applejack turned, watching the cyan mare fly away. “Maybe I was a bit too harsh. I ain’t never heard Rainbow cry before…”

Rainbow wiped her eyes as she flew. Even Applejack doesn’t get it. Why does no pony get it? Why does everyone just assume I’m jealous? Who else could I talk to? Who else could understand? Not Pinky, she’s too random. Fluttershy is too timid…I guess….that leaves HER…
Rainbow sighed, landing quietly and sneaking around in the growing shadows, keeping an eye out for two particular ponies.

“Rainbow Dash, what are you doing sneaking around like that…?” Rainbow jumped in surprise as Spike popped up behind her.

“Spike! Be quiet! I’m trying to avoid Twilight and….” Rainbow swallowed the rising feeling of anger and continued, “Night Shade.”

“Then you should probably go the other way from me, because I’m following them. Twilight’s been…not herself lately. She’s jumpy and spacing out all the time. She’s more obsessive than ever, and she gets mad at me if everything’s not perfect. I don’t like this, Rainbow. Twilight’s changing, and it’s not a good change.”

“Don’t tell Applejack that…she told me I was jealous, and that I needed to get over it.” Rainbow whispered, looking around. “I agree with you, Spike, but no one will listen to me.”

“Same. I tried telling Rarity, but she said pretty much the same thing and kicked me out of the Boutique. Me!”
Rainbow felt her heart sink as her idea of talking to the fashion obsessed pony crashed and burned. “No one is listening to us, Spike…maybe we should give up.” Rainbow felt a sharp pain in her chest as the words left her lips. Give up…give up on Twilight. A part of her rebelled at the idea, screaming that Rainbow Dash doesn’t give up; she was too cool to give up.
But another part of her repeated back Applejack’s words. Rarely did Applejack’s advice steer her wrong…

“Shhh! There they are, Rainbow. Twilight said they were going stargazing tonight.” Spike whispered urgently, pointing to a spot nearby. Twilight and Nightshade sat on a blanket, a telescope and a collection of books in front of them. Rainbow noticed with a flare of anger that they were close enough to brush against each other with the smallest movement.
“The night sky is beautiful, isn’t it? Luna’s really amazing…” Twilight said, her tone awestruck.

“Not as beautiful or amazing as you, Twilight Sparkle. You make even the brightest Star look dim in comparison. Luna may be a princess, but you…You are the Element of Magic. Magic is your job, and you are amazing at it.” Night Shade’s honeyed words were like poison to Rainbow’s ears. Each word killed her friend, her Twilight just a little more. Soon, her Twilight would die, and all that would be left is something that LOOKED like her.

But Rainbow would know. Rainbow would always know. And she knew she was helpless to stop it.
“You say the sweetest things, Night. But Luna is a princess. There’s no way I could compare to her.” Rainbow could almost hear the blush in her crush’s voice. It sickened her as Twilight leaned her head over to rest against Night Shade’s shoulder.

“She was born a princess, Twi. You…you could be a princess by your own merits. You don’t need wings and a horn to be worthy of the title of princess. Princess Twilight Sparkle, ruler of Magic.”
Twilight giggled, turning to look at Night Shade.

Rainbow considered herself a fan of horror stories and ghost stories, but nothing she had ever seen or heard had prepared her for the sinking horror she felt as she watched their heads getting closer.

No…nonononono! Don’t, Twilight! Please….don’t…! Don’t break my heart…! Not like this! DON’T KISS HIM!

Her mental pleas fell on deaf ears as the two’s lips met.

Despair. Crushing despair. It felt like a cold was slowly consuming her core. It wilted her wings as her heart stopped for a moment. Her legs gave out as she collapsed, never taking her eyes off the kissing couple.

“No…no Twilight…He’s….he’s killed you. You let him get you…how…how could you do this to me, Twilight…?” Her words came out as whimpers as her vision grew blurred.

“Rainbow…? Rainbow! Rainbow, what’s wrong? What do you mean, ‘He’s killed you’? Rainbow, Speak to me!” Spikes voice grew louder and louder.

“Spike..? Spike, what are you….Rainbow! Spike! What the buck are you two doing?! Are you two SPYING on me now? I expect this kind of thing from Rainbow, but you too, Spike?!” Twilight’s voice was livid. It was also getting closer.

Rainbow Dash felt numb. She stood up, her head hanging. A sharp poke to her chest nearly knocked her down, but she dare not look up, the image of the Kiss seared into her mind.

I’m in the friend Zone. And soon, I won’t even have that. Stupid bucking Rainbow Dash. What a fool. What could a mare like her ever want with a mare like me? She’s straight as a bucking line. A fool. That’s what I am. A bucking fool.

“And you, Rainbow. Are you THAT against me being happy? Are you that jealous and petty? Can you not handle not being the center of attention? I thought you were a better friend than that. Obviously I was mistaken.”
Something inside Rainbow snapped at Twilight’s harsh words. Her wings flared and a sky that was clear moments ago became clouded over and dark as lightning flashed.

“Nopony understands. Nopony listens to me. How are you being any better than me, Twilight Sparkle? You tell me that and maybe I’ll listen to you. Until then, good riddance, and BUCK you.” A thunderclap sounded as Rainbow exploded into motion, taking to the sky, where she did a ninety degree direction change, leaving a muted rainboom in her wake.

Rainbow was furious. It felt strange. They say nature abhors a vaccum, and so Rainbow felt her hollowness inside turn to rage as the sky reflected her inner turmoil.

“Buck you, Twilight Sparkle. Buck you and the bucking train you rode in on.” Rainbow landed in a nearby field, and ground her hooves into the dirt. Lightning flashed and struck the ground nearby as she grit her teeth.
“WHO THE BUCK NEEDS YOU ANYWAY, TWILIGHT SPARKLE?! Go back to Canterlot for all I care! I’m done. I’m done with this pure and utter BULLSHIT! Element of Loyalty? Give it to Spike. I don’t need it. Ponyville can bucking BURN for all I care!”

Her words echoed hollowly in her mind as she turned, looking at a nearby tree. In her rage, she ran over and bucked it with all her might. The tree didn’t move.

Break. BREAK, I SAID! I said, BREAK!!!

She turned and glared hatefully at the tree, willing it to burst into flames, to wither and die, to do SOMETHING to submit to her rage.

As if to answer her call, lightning flashed down striking the tree as she leapt away in shock. The tree splintered, its bark scorched.

Something in Rainbow’s mind seemed to wake up as she laughed. Something ancient and long forgotten in the mind of all pegasi, something they had barely scratched upon in weather training. With a flourish, she pointed at another tree. Obediently, a lightning bolt leapt down from the sky, eager to do her bidding.

“Lightning. I can control lightning. How bucking cool is that. I bet Twilight would just LOVE to study that. Too bad for her.” Rainbow spat out.

Lightning struck the ground.

“Dear Twilight Sparkle. How do I hate thee? Let me count the BUCKING ways.” Rainbow mocked, quoting one of the books Twilight had convinced her to read. It seemed so stupid now.

“I hate that you make me read books.” Crack-boom! A scorch mark on the ground.

“I hate that you launch into egghead speeches at any given moment.” Crack-boom. Roasted tree.

“I hate that you lecture ME on being a bad friend when you’re just as bad.” Crack-boom.

“I hate that you’re straight.” Crack-boom.

“I hate that you look adorable when you geek out at the strangest things.” Crack-boom.

“I hate your obsession with books.” Crack-rumble.

“I hate that you make my heart beat faster on sight.” Crack.

“I hate that never once have you considered mares in your dating adventures.”

“I hate that that you fascinate me.”

“I hate that you make me emotional.”

“I hate that you made me like you.”

“I hate that I’m in the friend zone.”

“I hate…..I hate that despite all this, I can’t stop loving you. Buck you, Twilight Sparkle.” A sniffle.

“Buck you, You stupid mare that I love. Bu-buck…..y-you…” Rainbow felt her rage dissipate like the storm over her head as she began to sob.

“Why? Why did it have to be like this? Why did you have to be straight? Why couldn’t I like stallions like a normal mare? Why….Why am I in the friend zone? Why….why can’t I give up on you?” Rainbow once promised herself that she would never cry.

She wept. She sobbed. She let the cold in her chest out in the form of tears. Her despair lightened with each tear, her mind clearing with each sob.

“I guess this is it, then. My Twilight….my Twilight is dead. And this Rainbow Dash….She can die with her. The New Rainbow Dash will be twenty percent cooler. I don’t need her. I….don’t need friends. I don’t need the Element of Loyalty. They don’t need me.”

With that, Rainbow made up her mind, once again, took to the sky.

“Ahm’ sorry about Rainbow Dash, Twi, Nightshade. She’s been acting strange for weeks now. I’m sure she didn’t mean it.” Applejack said uncertainly and Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie hugged the shocked Twilight.

“What if she’s right, though? She’s tried to talk to me several times before now, and each time, I’ve brushed her aside. I’ve even yelled at her a few times. What am I becoming, everypony?” Rainbow’s last words echoed in her mind, hammering away at her like…..something that hammers repeatedly. Twilight let out a humorless laugh.

“At a loss for words in my own head….I’ve really changed a lot, haven’t I?”
“Don’t worry about her Twi. She’s just being jealous. I’m sure she’ll come around. If she doesn’t, then she’s not a very good friend, and she doesn’t deserve you.”

“No, she’s right.” Spike’s voice cut like a knife. “You’ve changed a lot, Twilight. You’ve always been obsessive, but you’ve gotten worse. I don’t like it. I LIVE with you, remember? I didn’t notice it at first, but Rainbow’s been changing with you, and like you, it hasn’t been for the better.”


“Scootaloo?” Multiple voices sounded as three smaller ponies seemed to appear out of nowhere.

“Sweetie Bell, Apple Bloom, shouldn’t you ponies be in bed?”

“Not until you hear us out, sis.” Sweetie Bell demanded defiantly.

Spike smiled gratefully at the trio. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders have the floor. I call Sweetie Bell to the stand.”

“When was the last time you ponies hung out?” She asked pointedly. Several blinks rewarded her. “I mean really hung out, all together, for fun. Last time was five weeks ago. Sis, you were ecstatic because Twilight had been spending so much time with Night Shade that she didn’t have time for her friends. Is that how a true friend acts, Twilight?”

“She had a coltfriend. It’s natural for her to spend less time with her friends and more with me.” Night Shade argued.

“Which brings me to the second article of discussion. I call Apple Bloom to the stand.”

“Thanks, Sweetie Bell. Anyway, how many times has Rainbow Dash tried to talk to all of you? She tried, Applejack. She’s tried talkin’ to you, Rarity, and even Fluttershy once. How many times have you actually listened? She finally talked tah SPIKE, and he was the only one who listened! Tell me, how’s that being a good friend? Each time, you turned her away! She’s always come tah you for advice, Applejack, and the last time, you told her tah got out, and stop bein’ petty and jealous. She was wanting somepony tah listen and try tah help her. Ya’ll just ignored her.”

Applejack suddenly felt shame color her face as she pondered her sister’s words.

“I-I…I have no excuse. Ahm’s sorry, Applebloom.”

“Ah ain’t the one you should apologize to. And finally, Scootaloo.”

Scootaloo, took a step forward, her face grim as she glared the five ponies who her Idol called her friends. Her Question was pointed and held nothing but disappointment and disdain for those who had hurt her big sister.

“How many times have you seen Rainbow Dash cry? I’ve seen her cry. I’ve seen her cry and rage and scream and sob. I’ve seen her hurt. I know your all think you know Rainbow Dash, but I know the truth. You hurt her bad, and you’ve failed as the Elements. Especially you, Twilight Sparkle. Right now, Rainbow Dash is out in a field, crying her eyes out because you all hurt her. Yet here you all are, mad at her, and comforting Twilight Sparkle, who is probably the biggest failure here right now.”

Night Shade turned red with rage. “Listen here, you little Brat. You are a foal. What would you know about this?”
Scootaloo stood her ground, glaring back at the black stallion. “I know only what these five and Rainbow Dash taught me. You’ve all failed as Rainbow Dash’s friends. I’m out. You don’t deserve to be Rainbow Dash’s friends.”

“Cutie Mark Crusaders, it’s time to go. I’m gonna go look for my big sister.” With a rev of her scooter, the Cutie Mark Crusaders departed.

“That insolent brat…!” Night Shade began.

“Watch it, partner. I made a mistake, and I intend to fix it. Scootaloo was right. We’ve failed as friends.” Applejack glared at Night Shade, who glared right back.

Something clicked in Twilight’s mind as she watched her coltfriend and her other friend stare each other down.
“I’m tearing us apart.” The revelation shocked her to her core.

As if in reply to her realization, there was a telltale whoosh of displaced air as Rainbow Dash appeared within sight. Something clinked their feet. Something gold.

“Is that….” Rarity started, her eyes wide.
“I’m done. Find a new Element of Loyalty, Twilight Sparkle. I’m out, I’ve had enough, I can’t take this anymore. Maybe Night Shade can be the new Element of Loyalty. Hah, that’d be funny, Twilight, won’t it? Leave him alone with a bunch of attractive mares and see how long his loyalty lasts. Better yet, if Luna ever goes rogue again, you better hope that your books can tell you how to break in a new Element of Harmony. I can’t take this anymore.”

“Wait, Rainbow! Listen…ahm sorry. I should have listened to you instead of just turning you away. Ah’ve been stupid, and it took mah little sister yellin’ at me to make me see just how stupid. Can you forgive me for bein’ a bad friend?” Applejack stepped forward, her face red with shame as she looked the hovering Pegasus in the eyes, hoping she could see the remorse in her eyes.

Rainbow’s visage remained unmoved.

“I’ve been wrong as well, Rainbow. And you as well, Spike. For me, both of you tried to warn this was coming, but I turned you away as well. I was so blinded by the new romance in the group that I ignored what it was doing to us as friends.”

“I’m not convinced. It takes me deciding to leave to make you see the error of your ways. Great. I feel like I have such AWESOME bucking friends. They don’t listen, they ignore me, and only when I try to leave do they even think to apologize.”

“Rainbow Dash…” Twilight started.

“Ah, she SPEAKS! Stop right there, Twilight.” Rainbow felt horrible for what she was saying, but she needed the break to be clean. She couldn’t let them drag her back. She just….couldn’t. It hurt so much….

“Go ahead and leave then, Rainbow Dash. You never liked me, and look at what you’re doing to your friends. Who’s being a bad friend now?” Nightshade sneered.

Rainbow felt her temper flare. “Hey, Twilight, I’m about to show you a new trick, since I learned it because of you. Too bad you’ll never get to study it, because I doubt any Pegasus alive today knows how to do it. I’m not even sure how or why it works.”

Night Shade snorted, glaring at the biggest pain in his side since he started dating Celestia’s student. “Do your worst, Featherbrain.”

“Just remember. You asked.” Rainbow closed her eyes, calling up the calm rage she had felt, before pointing at the ground in front of the pony she loathed with every fiber of her being. “Lightning.”


Out of nowhere, a lightning bolt sliced down, splitting the air and scorching the ground, singeing the dumbstruck stallion.

“Y-you used magic.” The black unicorn stammered.

“I did. Any more insults you want to throw at me, mule? I could do that all day.” Rainbow snarled.

“That’s enough, Rainbow. You don’t need to hurt anyone.” Twilight said hurriedly. That lightning looked lethal.

“Of course you’d protect him. Right on Cue. So, last one. Twilight. BUCKING. Sparkle. The most magical unicorn in Equestria. I’ll agree with him on that. You are better than the Princesses, because you’re NOT one. You never needed to be. But that’s where my agreement with him ends. So. Twilight Sparkle. I have some things I want to say, and dammit, you’re going to listen.

Twilight Sparkle.

I hate you.

I hate you more than you could ever realize.

Words cannot tell you how much I have grown to hate you over the past seven weeks.

Yes, I counted.

I hate the way you obsess over things.

I hate that you’d rather be with that THING than your friends.

I hate that you are clueless about what you’ve been doing to us.

And last but not least. I hate what you’ve done to me. What I’ve turned into.

Goodbye, Twilight Sparkle.”

With that, Rainbow turned her back, hoping that no one would see her tears as she prepared to leave Ponyville for the final time.


Rainbow froze at Twilight’s voice. Her broken voice. Her voice which was so filled with despair and desperation that it cut through her soul like a frozen knife.

“That can’t be it, Rainbow. We’ve had disagreements in the past, but you’ve never reacted like this. We’re the Elements of Harmony, and even Discord couldn’t tear us apart. You’re the Element of Loyalty, Rainbow. Without you, we can’t go on. I wasn’t listening before, Rainbow, but I’m listening now. Why? Tell me how to fix this, Rainbow Dash!”

“It’s too late, Twi. And It was never me the Elements relied on as the glue. It was you.” Rainbow hung her head.
“It was always you. We always relied on you. You had you faults, but in the end, you were always there.”
Rainbow felt her icy façade crack as words began to tumble out, accompanied by tears.

“You’ve been there for everyone, Twi. Where were you, Twilight? When I needed you to listen. When I needed you to listen, you abandoned me. I needed you, Twi. I NEEDED you.” A sob tore through her throat, leaving the rest of the Mane Six in shock.

“I always needed you, Twilight Sparkle. It was such a little thing….it always was!”

Twilight could hear the tears in Rainbows voice, as she hesitantly took a step forward.

“You want to know what’s worse, you stupid mare?” Rainbow turned, her mask completely broken and tears streaming down her face.

“I STILL need you! All this time…All this bucking time, I kept hoping you’d wake up. Maybe it’s my fault, but I didn’t ask for this, Twi! I NEVER asked to have my heart broken! I hate this, I hate being this way. Just one STUPID mare who happened to get too attached to the most amazing mare in Equestria."

"I hate being that stupid! I hate that I’m STILL that Stupid! I hate that you like that BASTARD more than me! I HATE it, Twilight Sparkle!”

Twilight was frozen in place. She was socially awkward, and would admit that she didn’t know a lot about social interactions, but from what she’d read about in books, something was about to be said that she’d never expected from the cyan pony.

“Rainbow…what are you….are you saying…” Her mind was running a hundred miles a minute, trying to formulate a response. It wasn’t coming. Only Rainbow Dash…only Rainbow Dash can make me lose it like this.

“There’s two things I hate more than anything right now, Twi.” Rainbow brushed the tears out of her eyes, walking toward the frozen unicorn. She steeled herself, preparing to make the plunge she’s never could before, leaning to whisper in Twilight’s ear.

“I hate that I can’t hate you, and I hate being stuck in the Friend Zone.”

With that, she stole Twilight’s lips in a bittersweet kiss.

For Twilight, it was like somepony flipped a switch in her head. Her heart began to pound and her self-inflicted paralysis was lifted. Her eyes fluttered shut as she melted inside. Night Shade’s kiss had been pleasant, but this….it was….electrifying. It was confusing, it was strange, it was….


She couldn’t understand it. Something inside her told her that this was right, that she should have been doing this a long time ago. It was a mystery that for some reason, she had no problem with never understanding.

That didn’t mean she wouldn’t try, however.

When their lips parted, Rainbow looked at the shocked looks on everyponies face.

Aside from Night Shade, who just looked disgusted.

“It all makes sense now. You’re a fillyfooler. I should have known.” Rainbow felt magic envelope her, pulling her away roughly. “Get away from my Fillyfriend, you disgusting mare!”

Twilight felt her heart beat faster as a strange giddiness overtook her. It was like she had been alone in a dark room and heard strange noises, only to turn the light on to find that Pinkie had put together a surprise party. A smile began to grow on her face. How had she missed this? So many stallions…yet it was this one mare, one she’d never considered, never once in a million years.

This one, AMAZING mare….

“Night Shade, Put her down, I got her.” Her horn glowed, enveloping Rainbow in a much gentler grip. Night Shade obeyed with a smirk of victory.

“Hey, Night Shade….”

“Yes Twi?”

“First, Stop calling me Twi. It annoys me, and only my friends are allowed to call me that. And (B), I’m sure you’re familiar with the slang term ‘Buck off’? Go do that.”

Twilight could almost feel insanity creeping up in her mind, but once again, she didn’t care. She had the most amazing mare in Equestria in her grip. Its Argument was Invalid.

“What?” Night Shade was in shock.

“I don’t think I misspoke, Night Shade. Perhaps I wasn’t clear enough. Off. The General Direction of which I want you to Buck. Buck Off. Subject is ‘you’, and Buck is the Verb. Off, adjective which describes in what direction to do the verb. Is that clear enough?”


“Exactly. Oh, by the way? Consider yourself Dumped, and me a Fillyfooler.” Night Shade vanished in a flash of purple Magic.

“Umm, Twi? Your crazy is showing.” Rainbow timidly said from her bubble of magic. Said bubble promptly popped as Rainbow hit the ground.

“I know! Isn’t it wonderful? This must be what it feels like to be Pinkie Pie! Wee! Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! It’s like the time when I was a filly and I ate one of Celestia’s ‘Special’ cakes in one sitting! I can’t wrap my mind around it, Dash kissed me! THE Rainbow Dash! ….I need to sit down. Rainbow Dash Kissed me. Oh my Celestia. Rainbow Dash Kissed me, and I liked it. I’m a Fillyfooler. That’s why I never really liked Stallions. It seems so obvious now.” Twilight sat down, the reality of the situation hitting her.

“….I hope I didn’t send him to a distant star. I really, really hope not.”

“Umm….Twi…I….uh….” Rainbow Dash wasn’t sure what to do now. She hadn’t actually planned to tell Twilight about her feelings, much less have Twilight freak out like this.

“Rainbow Dash….I’m sorry. I never knew you felt that way, otherwise…I don’t know what I’d have done. I just…I feel terrible about stomping on your feelings like that.” Twilight said, her high starting to dissipate.

“It’s okay, Twilight….I was just as much in the wrong as you were. I never told you. I was just so afraid you’d hate me.”

“That’s no excuse. I was a horrible friend. We all were. I’d understand if you still wanted to leave…” Twilight looked away, suddenly ashamed of her reaction.

“Twilight, just kiss me and get over it. Loving you makes it really hard to leave. Crazy and all.”

She did. It was Magical. Rainbow Dash doesn’t feel like sharing the sheer awesomeness of the second kiss, so you’ll have to imagine it.

“So…Rainbow Dash….You know, as my friend and new Fillyfriend…that is if you’ll have me still…”

“You’re still on about that Twi? You need to learn to let stuff go.” Rainbow playfully shoved her new fillyfriend playfully.

“Y-yeah…anyway, later, I want see what else you can do besides summon lightning, if you don’t mind..?”

“Hmmm….Squid pro roe, Twi. I really hope your first kiss is ALL he took from you…”

“RAINBOW DASH! Get your head out of the gutter! And it’s ‘Quid Pro Quo’, for your information!”

“I knew that.”

Five minutes later….

The rest of the Mane six stood in shock.

“Umm….guys, can somepony explain tah me what just happened?”

“….For once, darling…I haven’t the faintest idea.”


“…I have to get the recipe from Princess Celestia of that crazy cake!”

Extra: Letter to Celestia.

Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I’m writing to you about Love, rather than Friendship. Love is a confusing thing, and often defies what you think you know about it. I always waited for a brilliant stallion with razor sharp wits who understood my need for order to come and sweep me off my feet like some old Mare's Tale.
I was wrong to want such a thing.
Opposites attract, according to books, and I admit I was always skeptical. But in the end, I am convinced.
Love at first sight doesn't exist, but I think...I think I may have become a believer in love at first Kiss.
It turns out what I thought I wanted, and what my heart wanted were two different things.
For one, she’s a mare.
Not just any mare, but the most Amazing mare in all of Equestria. She’s right up there with you and Luna, Princess. I hope you don’t mind the company at the top of the list. She’s an athlete, she loves to fly, and she despises lists. She often doesn’t make sense, and there are times her antics render me completely incapable of thought.
I wouldn’t have her any other way. She teaches me to let go. She teaches me that it’s okay not to make sense.
Maybe this is actually about Friendship, because what is Love other than a higher form of Friendship?
I don’t know, but it’s magic, so I don’t have to explain jack.
Sorry about that phrase, Princess. Really.
In the end, I also learned not to ignore the Friend Zone. When looking for romance, sometimes it’s best to try and look at what you already have built.
The road ahead of us may be tough, and I'm sure we'll have our fights, but as a wise pony once said, 'The road of Love rarely runs smooth.'
Or something like that.
Love doesn’t always make sense, but nopony can live without it.
Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Dash(stop it Rainbow!) Twilight Sparkle.

Please ask Luna to check the Stars for a Stallion by the name of Night Shade. I really hope I didn’t send him to a distant Star. Or the Moon. I wasn’t….exactly thinking when I teleported him. Speaking of not making sense, Pinkie Pie wants the Recipe for your ‘special’ cake. You know the one I’m talking about, so please don’t give it to her. I’m embarrassed enough as it is.