HUMAN By: Twilight Sparkle

by Razalon The Lizardman


Similar Opposites - Part 1

For the first time in her life, Twilight had fallen victim to procrastination. Unlike other students who fell to it out of laziness, however, Twilight had let all the fame resulting from HUMAN's success throughout Equestria get to her head, in turn distracting her from work on her vignette for the sequel. Every day she received dozens upon dozens of fan letters asking questions about her inspiration for the book, aspects of humans she didn't include, and, in the case of the two princesses/her family in Canterlot, statements congratulating her on her literary accomplishment.

To compensate for the complete lack of progress in crafting a character for her vignette, Twilight decided to sleep the morning in, all the while brainstorming ideas regarding what her character should be like in both appearance and personality. To get a better idea of what her character should be like, Twilight took to reviewing everything she'd written in the first book regarding how humans usually behaved around others. Of the common traits she'd given humans, the most significant were: a tendency to let paranoia take over at the worst possible times, an unhealthy desire to compete against instead of cooperate with each other in things integral to society, a nasty habit of scapegoating things not well-liked or understood, and a sadistic pleasure in poking fun at anything and everything that would show sensitivity.

Even with all the positive traits her friends had introduced, the base which they were built upon was grim in essence and would ultimately shine through regardless. Realizing this, Twilight decided her character's central quality should be that he (Twilight decided to make the character male on a whim) views himself as a non-human despite having the body of one. With the character's central trait decided upon, Twilight began pondering how best to incorporate it. She spent many hours pacing the length of her room, brainstorming ideas on what such a person would be like.

At one point, Twilight reasoned her character should be able to view his fellow humans from an alien perspective, one in which he had no personal prejudice against anyone and could form opinions of them based solely on the merit (or possible lack thereof) of their actions. This is where Twilight found herself between a rock and a hard place. Though she knew how her character would view other humans, she hadn't the faintest clue how someone could be raised without being, at least somewhat, patronized by their parents or guardian/s. So, Twilight did what she always did when confronted with a seemingly unsolvable conundrum; she hit the books.

Psychology books, parenting books, even one particular book about urban legends in Equestria specifically for one featured story about a little filly being abandoned by her parents and raised by an Ursa Major. Everything Twilight had regarding parental upbringing was pulled off the shelves and quickly scanned by the determined lavender mare, but no matter what Twilight read no ideas came to mind for what would cause her character to become what he is.

While reading the book on urban legends, one in particular caught Twilight's eye. Upon reading it, Twilight decided to change her tactics on gathering inspiration.

"Hey Twilight!" Spike called from the door to their room.

Twilight glanced over to the door to see the baby dragon standing there, scroll in hand and a big grin on his face. Twilight took notice of the scroll especially, seeing as how it was the same kind she gave to all of their friends for writing their vignettes.

"Whatcha got there, Spike?" she asked.

Spike closed the distance between the two of them as he replied. "Well, since you're not working on your vignette I thought I'd do it for you, being your #1 assistant and all." He approached Twilight and handed the scroll to her. "Here, read it and see how awesome it is."

Twilight gripped the scroll in her magic, unfurled it and began reading. As she skimmed each line of text, Twilight found herself increasingly tempted to accept Spike's offer. His vignette detailed the profile of one Doug Walker, a comedian who specializes in doing faux reviews of past movies he considers subpar or just plain awful. Twilight liked this character because he perfectly represented one of the key flaws of humankind, which was the misguided belief that humor could only come at one's humiliated expense. But, impressed with Spike as Twilight was, she knew it'd be wrong to pass off his work as her own.

"Nice work, Spike," she told the baby dragon, levitating the scroll back to him, "but I am going to finish the vignette on my own by the deadline."

"Oh really?" Spike asked, half-sarcastically, as he grabbed the scroll from her telekinesis.

Twilight chuckled. "Yes Spike; in fact, I'm going out to do some research for it right now."

Spike raised a confused brow. "Research?"

"Indeed." Twilight used her magic to levitate some bits out of a nearby jar and over to Spike. "I might be gone the whole day, so here's some lunch money. Can I trust you to not burn the house down while I'm gone?"

Spike grabbed the bits from Twilight's telekinesis and saluted with his other hand. "This tree will be standing when you come back; I promise." He then turned around and headed back down the stairs.

"Good to hear," Twilight said, more so to herself than to Spike, and began packing for her research trip.

**********

Twilight looked at the vast ocean waters before her in awe. She was currently standing on a beach located on Equestria's eastern border that was a popular tourist destination during the summer months. With it currently being autumn, however, Twilight could validly assume she was the only pony around for miles. She had arrived by way of several long distance teleports starting from her bedroom back at Golden Oaks in Ponyville and ending where she currently was. She'd needed to rest and recharge her magic after so many teleports, deciding to admire the view in the meantime. Looking out at sea, however, Twilight caught sight of her final destination. Situated about a mile or so off the coast was a land mass known as the Isle of Tao, surrounded by a beautiful blue, red, and purple colored reef that allegedly contained many species of equally beautiful marine life. Twilight's interests, however, resided with what supposedly lay beyond the reef.

The book Twilight read had a story telling accounts of little fillies and colts getting caught in the ocean's currents and swept out to sea from beaches along this part of the coast. The accounts told of how the unfortunate foals would wind up at the Isle of Tao stranded, scared, and alone . . . or so they'd think. They would come upon one or both of two beings whom made the isle their home; one being inhabited the Isle's landmass, named Yin Yang, while the other inhabited the Isle's waters, named Yang Yin. The two would presumably take care of the stranded foals until help arrived, but would never be seen by the rescuers, resulting in the uncertainty of their existence. Twilight's interest in them, however, was rooted in their supposed extensive knowledge of the nature of conflicts. What she hoped was that they'd be able to tell her what conflicts could lead to someone adopting the character traits she'd associated with her OC.

Once Twilight felt her magic fully restore, she cast the cloud-walking spell on her hooves and began galloping across the water's surface towards the Isle of Tao. Naturally, the spell was invented for the purpose of allowing non-pegasi to walk on clouds when visiting pegasi-only establishments such as Cloudsdale; however, the truth was that the spell allowed the affected to walk across both liquid and gas forms of water. Twilight reached the reef surrounding the Isle in a matter of minutes, taking a moment to peer through the water at all the exotic marine life before making her way over and across the lagoon to the Isle itself.

Twilight was about twenty yards away from shore when she heard a loud splash from behind her. Turning around, she almost fainted at the sight of what was in front of her under the water; a black and white dolphin-esque creature with a patch of white around where it's eye would be. As Twilight looked closer, she saw that the creature was chasing several fish toward the sandy bottom of the lagoon, presumably for food. This was confirmed when the creature managed to catch one of the fish in its jaws before swimming back toward the surface for air. The creature surfaced but a mere three meters away from Twilight and quickly swallowed the fish in one gulp. It then stared its eye at her, which Twilight could now clearly see as being just below its white patch, and didn't move from the spot.

Are you lost, little pony?

Twilight flinched at the voice in her head, almost disrupting her spell and causing her to fall in the water. At first Twilight thought she was losing her sanity, but then she saw the creature in front of her move its right flipper in a rolling motion, like it was urging her to do something. It was then Twilight realized the voice in her head was the creature's; it had communicated using telepathy.

"Are you . . . Yang Yin?" Twilight asked, clearly nervous.

Indeed, I am. I ask again, are you lost Miss . . .?

"Oh, my name is Twilight Sparkle; Princess Celestia's protégé and bearer of the Element of Magic. And to answer your question, no I'm not lost; I came here purposefully." The nervousness Twilight felt before dissipated and was replaced by giddiness as the reality of the situation dawned on her; she was speaking with a living urban legend.

Is that so?

Twilight nodded enthusiastically. "I learned about this place from reading a book on urban legends. It said that both you and Yin Yang care for little foals who get swept out to sea until they're rescued. Is that true?"

We used to, but foals must be getting smarter nowadays because such a need for us hasn't occurred in the last fifty or so years. In all honesty, I hoped it would remain that way forever.

Twilight frowned. "What do you mean?"

Yang Yin took a moment to submerge herself back under the water to keep cool and alive before answering Twilight. Seeing how our deeds have been printed for all to read about, I am concerned that you're only the first in a mass wave of tourists who'll be nothing but a nuisance to the tranquility Yin Yang and I share.

"Oh, there's no need to worry about that," Twilight giggled. "Aside from those whom you two cared for, everypony is dubious as to your existence. Like I said, I read about you two in a book on urban legends."

That's good to hear. Twilight could've sworn she heard a sigh of relief in her head at that moment. So, what brings you to the Isle of Tao, Ms. Sparkle?

"Well, since you and Yin Yang seem to know so much about parenting, I was hoping you could help me with a personal project of mine pertaining to it."

Do tell.

For the next five minutes, Twilight explained to the water creature the conundrum she had over her vignette's character. Once in a while, Yang Yin would dive under the water to refresh herself before popping back above the surface to continue listening to Twilight. Aside from these moments, Yang Yin would remain completely still in the water save for the gentle vertical wave of her caudal fin to help her stay afloat, always completely attentive to what Twilight had to say.

Once Twilight was finished talking, Yang Yin appeared to mull over what she said for a while before diving under the water once again to refresh herself. When she came back up, she did so under Twilight's hooves, to which the lavender unicorn stumbled a bit in surprise.

"Hey! What giv-"

Twilight was interrupted when a jet stream of water from Yang Yin's blowhole shot up into her face. Twilight closed her eyes as she attempted to fight back against the rush of seawater before simply stepping back and out of its path. The aquatic mammal lowered itself back under the surface before reappearing in her previous spot in front of her. Twilight kept up her cloud-walking spell and landed on the water with a muted splash. Pretty soon, she heard laughter sounding off in her head.

Oh, I haven't had a good laugh like that in ages.

Twilight shook herself dry and scowled. "What was that for!?"

Forgive me if I have trouble finding ways to entertain myself, Twilight Sparkle. Hopefully, that laugh will last me another fifty years.

Had Twilight not needed her help, she would've berated Yang Yin on her immaturity. Instead, Twilight merely sighed in exasperation. "Well, I'm glad I could help relieve your apparent boredom," she replied. "Now, can or can't you help me?"

I imagine Yin Yang would be better suited to teaching you about parent-child relationships, as he's the one who actually took care of the foals. All I ever did was bring them to land and occasionally take them for rides on my back around the lagoon. When you get to shore, just keep searching the jungle until you find him; sorry I can't give you more specific directions. I'll make sure to let him know you're here and why.

"Well, thanks," Twilight said, and began walking towards the beach. Yang Yin submerged under the water once again, but stayed under this time so as to hunt for more fish.

Stepping onto the isle's shore, Twilight took a moment to shake some water off of her hooves before surveying the immediate area. A little ways down the beach to her left Twilight could see a huge rock formation that pretty much barred any passage beyond. To her right, the beach continued unimpeded by natural barriers, eventually leading around to the open ocean side of the isle. Without any idea where to begin looking, Twilight headed straight ahead into the jungle, hoping it wouldn't take her all day to find Yin Yang.