The idea for this chapter came from Killjoy, who has written a very good story, check it out.
Also, thanks to Iron Clad for writing the song in this chapter.
First off,
A/N: Two new characters are being added in.
[Break will talk with the brackets and bold]
<Dawn will talk with those things and bold>
{And when I'm not talking out loud, I talk with those. Very confusing, I know.}
Understand this first, and everything will make sense.
Chapter 50
"She what!" Frederic screamed out.
"She set us up." I repeated. I then shook my head, "She couldn't even go into heat!"
Frederic looked dumbfounded, "What?! Why couldn't see?!"
I sighed, "Mare's that are pregnant can't go into heat."
His eyes widened, "What! Then that means Luna... OH GOD!"
I looked around at Frederic and Luna's room. I had come here as soon as Twilight told me she had set us up. She and Pinkie had planned it! That sucks!
I glanced over at Frederic, "What happened with you and Luna during those two days?"
He shuddered, "It wasn't just me and Luna. It was me, Celestia, Luna, and Drax! That foursome was horrifying!"
Poor Drax, and Frederic. Raped by the Princesses, must have been... Wait, raped by Celestia. That doesn't sound so bad, I wouldn't mind it if..."
"Dirty mine Lance!" Celestia yelled from her room.
Frederic furrowed his brow, "What is she talking about?"
Shit, I hate how she can read my mind when ever she wants. "Oh, its nothing."
He looked at me and glared slightly, "Okay then." He then smiled, "Guess what!"
"What?"
He smiled proudly, "Next year, when all the mare's go into heat, we'll be ready."
I raised an eyebrow, "How?"
"I'm going to build a bunker. So this time, we won't get raped."
I laughed, "I like that idea. When will you build it?"
He shrugged and turned to his desk, "I don't know, when ever I get the time."
As I began to speak, Twilight's voice echoed through my thoughts, 'Lance, we may have a problem with Greg.'
I sighed, 'What did he do this time?'
'He didn't do anything, yet. He's reading a spell book called, 'Spells for the mind'. I don't know what he's up to, but I'll watch him.'
He's reading a spell book, again? This can't be good, 'Okay, just contact me if he does something stupid.'
'Will do Lance.'
I walked up next to Frederic and looked at what he was doing, "What'ca doing?"
He looked down at me and chuckled, "Oh, just making a present for Luna."
"Cool, what is it?" I asked.
He smiled, "You know how she raises and lowers the moon? Well, I've made her a...."
A bright flash of green light interrupted Frederic. When I turned around, I sighed.
'Lance, Greg just teleported to you!' Twilight yelled into my mind.
'Kinda lat Twi.'
'Awwww...'
I chuckled despite myself, "What is it Greg?"
Greg smiled lazily, "Dude, I just learned the best spell ever!"
"Okay..." I said becoming nervous.
He kept smiling at me, "Wanna be the test dummy?"
"What is the spell first of all?" I asked, not liking this already.
He put a hoof to his face, "What was it called again? Oh yeah! Split personalty. I think? I think I'm missing a few words in there, but that was in the name."
I shook my head, "Hell no! I already hate that spell."
"Please." He begged.
"No."
"Please!" He said giving me the puppy dog eyes.
That is just freaky, "NO!"
"PLEASE!"
"NO!"
"Fine."
"Really? Your giving up already?"
"Nope! Watch this!" His horn began to glow.
That little bastard...
He shot out a beam of magic and it hit me right between the eyes. I felt a searing pain in my head, and what felt like something being ripped apart.
I held my head and looked at Greg, "I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!" Okay, maybe not kill, but cause a lot of pain. What? This hurts like hell!
I charged towards Greg, rage in my eyes.
His eyes widened, "The shit just hit the fan!" His horn began to glow again and I was engulfed in a green aura.
Damn it! I hate teleportation spells!
I appeared in what looked to be the Ponyville library.
I began stomping my hooves, "I"m going to get you Greg!"
[Thank God! I'm finally unattached from that nerd!]
<I'm not a nerd! I'm just smart!>
I stood straight up. Who the hell was that?!
[Oh look, he can finally hear us.]
<Finally!>
"Who are you?! Where are you?!" I said in a panic.
<Well, we are your...>
[Bro, we're your badass conscience's]
I'm now officially freaked out! "Your my conscience's? What the fuck!"
<You don't have to speak out loud you know. You can talk to us in your mind.>
Yep, I'm going to kill Greg.
[Dude! Don't kill Greg! He's pure awesomeness!]
<I agree. Don't kill him, just hurt him.>
{So, you can hear me like this?}
<Yes, perfectly.>
{Alright, first off: Who are you two?}
I felt a small tapping at the side of my neck on the right side. I looked over to see a mini-me. A MINI-ME! He looked just like me, but had on glasses instead of goggles.
<I am Dawn. I represent the calm and collect side of you.>
Then something small banged on my neck on the other side. I looked over to see a second mini-me. This one had on sun glasses and looked badass.
[And I'm Break. I'm the cool and awesome side of you. I'm also the part that holds all of your anger and rage. I'm cool like that.
Okay, this is weird.
{Can others see you two?}
[No one else can see us, or feel us. Believe me, we've tried.]
<Yeah, tried. He tried to get in on the action with you and Twilight.>
[Awww yeah! I remember that. Bro, you was great for your first time.]
{How long have you been watching me?!}
<Your whole life. We've been with you since you was born.>
[Yeah, I'm guessing that when Greg cast that spell, he made it where we could be seen by you. Fucking epic man.]
I sighed and shook my head, "Great, that's all I needed. Two voices in my head!"
[Dude, chill out. Don't make me make you go into rage mode.]
{You can do that?}
[Hell yeah! We are you after all. I'll show you an example. Dawn, you mind helping me with this]
<Sure, may be funny.>
{What are you two about to do?}
My front hoof began to shake and shot up, pointing straight ahead.
What the hell?!
[Pretty cool huh? Now, take us back to Twilight! I want to watch you to fuck again!]
<Break!>
[What? Its been about five months since the last time they did it!]
I'm going to hate this so fucking much!
[You'll enjoy having us around. You'll see.]
No, I'm sure I won't enjoy this.
A bright light flashed in front of me and there stood Frederic. He looked at me and exhaled, "Thank God I found you Lance. I though Greg sent you off to a distant land."
I chuckled and sighed, "Yeah, I wish that's all he had done."
[Frederic, the luckiest man alive.]
I rolled my eyes, which made Frederic look at me strangely.
"Are you okay Lance?" He asked while examining me.
I shrugged, "Yeah, I'm fine. Its just that Greg FUCKING MADE IT WHERE MY CONSCIENCE'S COULD TALK TO ME!"
He looked at me strangely again, "What do you mean?"
I sighed, "That spell Greg cast on my made it where I can see and talk to my conscience's, and let me tell you, its not fun."
Frederic chuckled, "That's not so bad."
I nodded, "Oh yes it is! They're annoying as hell!"
[Hey!]
<Come on Lance, we're not that bad. Are we?>
Frederic chuckled again, "I'll take your word for it."
I hung my head back and let out a deep breath, "My life is the worst life ever! I hate it! I'm the unluckiest person and pony to ever be alive!'
Frederic stomped his hoof, "No your not!" He then smiled widely, "SONG COMING ON!"
"What?"
He smiled crazily, "I feel a song coming on!"
"What are you talking about?"
He jumped forward and put his hooves on my shoulders. And began to sing.
Song written by Iron Clad
"So ya think you got it bad
Just because of small misfortunes
Well my lad I got news for you
Because of all of us
You’re the luckiest one around!"
He then used his magic to toss me up in the air.
"When you took your first steps
You just had not realized
How much your own story
Was going to change all of our fates
You still just don’t realize
How much you changed this place
How much your own endeavors
Were going to reverberate
If you still don’t realize
Just take a look around you!"
He then began to make me look around. He sat me down and jumped towards me, his face inches from mine.
"So ya think you got it bad
Just because of small misfortunes
Well my lad I got news for you
Because of all of us
You’re the luckiest one around!"
He jumped over me and landed on my left side. He put a hoof over my shoulder and put his head next to mine. He put his other hoof out in front of himself and made a slow wave.
"Don’t you know you’re a force of nature
An unstoppable man of this world
Don’t you see that you are
The reason of our friendship
And that, my friend
Is something to be proud
Can’t you sense the feeling
Of all of those around you
That because of you
We are who we are."
He quickly picked me up and used his magic to toss me into the air, again.
"So ya think you got it bad
Just because of small misfortunes
Well my lad I got news for you
Because of all of us
You’re the luckiest one around!"
He caught me on his back and used his magic to set me down. He jumped beside me and cast a quick spell, making little lights of all the bronies appear in front of me.
"If it weren’t for you
Where would we be right now?
If it weren’t for you
Would we be still around?
If it weren’t for you
We would not be bound
By the ties we have made
Because of all of us
You’re the luckiest one around !"
He swung his hoof through the light figures of our friends and jumped in front of me.
"So ya think you got it bad
Just because of small misfortunes
Well my lad I got news for you
Because of all of us
You’re the luckiest one around!"
He put his hoof over me again and laughed as he continued.
"So ya think you got it bad
Just because of small misfortunes
Well my lad I got news for you
Because of all of us
You’re the luckiest one around!"
He got off of me and stood up. He took a deep breath and exhaled.
I nodded and smiled, "Whoa, that was a great song."
[Kinda sappy if you ask me]
<Break!>
[Dawn!]
<What?>
[Nothing, I was just imitating you.>
{Will you two shut up for one minute?!}
<Sure.>
[Yes mistress Lance.]
Frederic smiled proudly, "Thanks, that came right off the top of my head."
I nodded, impressed, "Now that's awesome."
[Lame!]
<I liked it!>
[What ever. Hey Lance, you forgetting something?]
{I don't think so. What am I forgetting?}
[Remember? Doctor? Appointment?]
"FUCK!" I screamed out.
Frederic jumped back, "What? What is it?"
I facehoofed, "I forgot that I was suppose to go to the doctor about my... problem."
Frederic furrowed his eyebrows, "When do you need to be there?"
I looked over to a clock, "Ten minutes ago!"
His horn glowed, "Don't worry, I'll get you there."
"Thanks." I was then engulfed in a bright light.
I appeared in the waiting room of the Canterlot Clinic.
I walked up to a window and asked a nurse if I could still make my appointment.
[Oh yeah, she's hot! Lance, make an appointment with her!"
<Break! Lance, don't listen to him. Make an appointment with her friend.>
{Shut the fuck up, both of you! I'm not going to fuck anyone!}
<[Please!]>
I jumped back on my hind legs, "I WILL NOT FUCK THOSE NURSES!"
Everypony in the room turned to me and gawked.
I came down to all fours and chuckled nervously, "Sorry folks, I'm not feeling to good today."
[Nice save.]
<I can't believe you screamed that out!>
[I know! That is fucking funny bro!]
{Okay, I admit, that was pretty funny. Even if I got embarrassed.}
I sat down and read a little magazine. A boring one I might add.
[Ugh! This is boring!]
{Its a waiting room, what do you expect?}
<I for one am enjoying this medical magazine.>
[You would.]
The doors across the room opened and a unicorn in a white coat came out, "Girokon?"
[Your still using that name?]
I stood and walked towards the doctor. He nodded at me and led me down a few hallways till he stopped at a room, "Go inside and I'll be with you shortly."
I nodded and walked in. I sat on the small bed and sighed. Bored.
Break hit the side of my neck and made me look at him, "What?"
[Dude! They have those tongue things here!]
{So?}
[I want one! Dawn, help me with this.]
My body began to shake and I jumped to my hooves. I didn't jump to my hooves, they made me! They began to make me walk across the room and over to the small desk.
{Stop it! Both of you!}
[Awww yeah! Grab them all!]
My hooves shot out and grabbed the glass holding the sticks. (I don't know what they're called and too lazy to look it up.)
[Jackpot!]
The door opened and the doctor walked in, "What are you doing?"
I turned, holding the glass jar, "Ummm, well... I was... I'll just put this back.
[NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]
I put the jar down and walked back to the bed.
He sighed and said under his breath, "I hate my job."
As I sat there, he looked at me, "So, as I read in your report, you are having problems with your groin. Am I correct?"
I nodded in response.
His horn glowed and... well my groin began to glow. "Hmmmm, heavy damage to each one. The right one is the worst though. You must have been hit pretty hard."
I groaned, "I was hit, very hard."
He sighed, "Well, I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do."
<What? I though he was a doctor!>
[I say we sue him for molesting us.]
{Molesting us? But he hasn't even touched me.}
He walked over and wrote on a piece of paper, "Here, give this to the nurses up front. They'll give you some pain medication to help with any pain you have down there."
I jumped off the table and nodded, "Thanks, I guess."
He nodded and left the room.
[My precious!]
Oh shit...
My body jerked towards the table and picked up the jar. I then opened my saddlebag and emptied it. I sat it down and sighed, "I hate you two."
[No you don't. We can see your thoughts. You enjoy having us around.]
<Yay! We're accepted.>
I chuckled and shook my head. I then walked out of the room, the slip of paper in my mouth. Time to get some pain medication.
[And get high!]
<Break, shut up.>