"So, let me get this straight: you got a job as an egghead?”
Twilight and I had found Rainbow Dash lugging off more bags stuffed with items she had purchased from the Wonderbolt store, and we had offered to help her carry them back to the suite after lunch. Twilight said dinner would be the celebratory meal, which I didn’t mind at all. We decided to have lunch at an outdoor restaurant that was more of a bakery, where I was able to an enjoy a nice egg and cheese bagel sandwich. It was during our meal that Rainbow put this question to me, after we had told her all about my meeting.
“Not an egghead, Rainbow,” I said, “but a delegate. You could say I’m something like an ambassador. I’ve been selected to offer my own opinions and suggestions in the regulation of foreign diplomacy.”
“Oh…so you’re a foreign egghead.”
“…Does calling me an egghead have anything to do with the fact that I’m eating an egg sandwich?” I asked, dryly.
“Don’t worry about it,” said Twilight. “It’s one of her favorite words. She used to use it on me all the time.”
“Yeah, dude, I’m just pushing your buttons,” said Rainbow, biting hungrily into a bagel slathered with strawberry cream cheese. “Sounds like Princess Celestia really liked you,” she added, with her mouth full, then said, after swallowing, “but this Ironmane guy sounds like a real piece of work.”
“I know he’s just doing his job,” I said, “but would it kill him to be civil without insulting me, at least?”
“If he’s an old guy, it might,” said Rainbow, grinning. “The effort might be too much for him.”
“Rainbow Dash!” scolded Twilight. It didn’t help her temper that I was trying to hold back a snicker. “It isn’t funny! Minister Ironmane has been in Celestia’s service ever since he was a member of the Royal Guard. He told me so himself once. She places a lot of faith in him, and he’s always been dutiful.”
“Well, of course he’s good at what he does,” I said, “but that’s the problem: his job is all about spying on and browbeating foreigners.”
“It’s not spying and it’s not browbeating,” said Twilight, shortly. “It’s supervision and vigilance. You have to be prepared for anything in foreign relations.”
“I know, Twi. I’m only saying he could stand to smile a bit more. Maybe he just needs to meet Pinkie. That girl can lift anypony’s spirits. But let’s change the subject. All we’re doing is getting on your nerves.”
“Oh, Dave, it’s not that,” said Twilight, in a calmer voice. “I’m just saying you shouldn’t make Ironmane look all bad. I agree he was, well, rather terse, but he’s just not used to you yet. I’m with Princess Celestia: having him deliver your weekly stipend could be a good chance for you two to relate with each other.”
“Honestly, Twi, I think I’d rather kiss a timber wolf,” I muttered.
Twilight just rolled her eyes smilingly, so I turned to Rainbow.
“How did Round 2 go?”
“Great! It took me a while to decide what I ought to get, since there’s so much stuff I could’ve gotten my hooves on. I did get you a couple things, though!”
“Oh?”
She poked around in one of her bags and pulled out a pair of books, dumping them onto my lap. One was entitled, Flying with the ‘Bolts, written by Spitfire herself, and the other was called The Wonderbolts Past and Present: A Look into the Makings of Equestria’s Finest Flyers.
“Wow, thanks, Rainbow. These will make quite a read, I’m sure, even if I can’t fly myself.”
“Knew you’d like them!” said Rainbow, punching my shoulder.
“I just can’t believe one of these is actually written by the captain herself. Do you know anything about Spitfire?”
“She’s awesome!” said Rainbow, her lilac eyes shining. “You’d think she’d be too cool for small talk, being an international celebrity and all, but I’ve met her a couple times. In fact, I saved her once.”
“You did?” I asked, astounded.
“During the Best Young Fliers Competition. The winner got a chance to spend a day with the Wonderbolts. I was raring to show them my stuff, but I was…kinda nervous.”
“Kinda?” asked Twilight.
“Ok, really nervous,” Rainbow appended, snappishly. “It didn’t help that Rarity was showboating around with wings Twilight had made her.”
“Wait, what?!” I shouted, drawing a few stares from around us. I looked at Twilight. “You made wings for Rarity? I didn’t know there was a wing-granting spell!”
“You’d be surprised,” said Twilight, simply. “The wings were really fragile, though. Rarity didn’t care about that; she was too busy wowing everypony around her, and said she would enter the competition herself, when she was supposed to be lending Rainbow moral support with the rest of us.”
“The rest of you?” I asked. “But you’re not pegasi. How did-”
But I stopped. The answer came to my head at once.
“Ohh…cloud-walking spell?”
“Cloud-walking spell,” said Twilight, smiling at the fact that I had remembered.
“But wouldn’t Fluttershy have gone with anyway?” I asked. “I bet she’s great support.”
“Yes and no,” said Rainbow. “She’s an awesome friend, and she’s always there to watch my moves, but her cheering is a little…” She paused, trying to think of a nice way to put it.
“Quiet?” I supplied.
“Exactly. She sure let it rip at the Competition, though,” she said, proudly. “I was so proud of her; it was all thanks to my coaching!”
“That’s sweet,” I said, admiringly. “So, what happened at the Competition?”
“Oh! Well, during her performance, Rarity got too close to the sun, and *FROOSH*, her wings burned to ashes. She started plummeting right toward the ground, screaming her head off. Three Wonderbolts, Spitfire among them, tried to save her, *ZOOM!* but she was kicking and flailing so much that she knocked them out.” She swung her hooves this way and that, making punching sound effects. “I was high up, preparing to finish my performance, when I saw what was going on. Without thinking, I dove after them, and then...BOOM! I put on a burst of speed and pulled off the first successful Sonic Rainboom I’d ever done ever since I was a filly.”
“Wow!” I said, amazed. “I’ll bet it was even doubly impressive now that you’re grown up.”
“Heh, think so?” asked Rainbow, grinning. “Anyway, I scooped Rarity and the Wonderbolts away from the ground and back into Cloudsdale. It was best day of my whole life…” She concluded, a dreamy look in her eyes.
“I wish I’d been there,” I said. “That sounds like it was quite a scene. So, you got to meet Spitfire?”
“Yep! I had my day with the Wonderbolts because of the competition, then saw her again at the Grand Galloping Gala, where we…didn’t get much of a chance to hang out,” she admitted, ruefully. She then brightened again as she said, “But she oversaw us transferring reservoir water to Cloudsdale in order to keep the clouds going. It was a narrow thing, though.”
“Oh? What happened?” I asked.
I loved hearing these kinds of stories. They were all full of suspense, narrow escapes, and spectacular turnabouts. It was almost like something out of a TV show.
“Well,” said Rainbow Dash, taking another bite of her bagel, “annually, Cloudsdale chooses a different city to pipe water to it to make clouds. Now, how do you think we transfer that much water from down here to up there?”
I sat and pondered, wondering what she wanted me to say.
“Uh...a big fish tank?”
“Nope!”
“A giant vacuum?”
“Nope, but close!”
“Er...I give up, what?”
“Tornados, of course!”
I stared at her. Was she serious?...
“No, I’m not kidding,” she went on. “A lot of pegasi flying together need to make a powerful twister to funnel water from the water supply up into Cloudsdale. Well, one year, Ponyville’s highland reservoir was chosen, and as chief weather-mare of Ponyville, I was assigned to make sure the local pegasi were in prime condition to get the water to Cloudsdale.”
“That sounds right up your alley,” I said, earning a smile from her.
“Now, to make a tornado that strong requires some fast flying, and we calculate that by wing-power.”
“And how do you calculate wing-power?” I asked.
“With an anemometer, of course,” said Twilight, brightly. “It-”
“Tells you how fast you’re flying and how strong your wings are,” interrupted Rainbow, earning her a sullen look from Twilight. “Unfortunately, there was a bit of a hiccup: the day we were supposed to channel the water, several pegasi came down with the feather flu.”
“Uh oh...” I muttered.
“Uh-huh. We didn’t have enough to get the tornado going. It was making me look seriously uncool in front of Spitfire, but I couldn’t worry about that. All that mattered was getting that water to Cloudsdale!”
I smiled at this. Despite her bragging, Rainbow always knew how to remind others why she represented Loyalty.
“And then Fluttershy came in and saved the day!” Rainbow went on, proudly.
“Huh? Fluttershy? How?”
“She can be an awesome flier when she wants to be, but she gets stage fright now and then, so she wasn’t helping out. It took some doing, some tears, and one pretty nifty training program, if I heard right, but finally, she got out of her funk and provided the last kick to send the water skyward!”
“Whoa! Now that’s what I call inspirational!”
It made me smile to hear that Fluttershy, the pegasus who could have been scared of her own shadow, had been the one to pull it off. Somehow, I feel like she deserved it.
“Spitfire congratulated us on a job well done,” concluded Rainbow. “We didn’t set a wind-speed record, but she said I had guts. Fluttershy had the guts that day,” she added, proudly, “but just you wait. Some day, I’m gonna wow them at the Academy and show them my stuff!”
She paused, as if wanting to relish the thought a little longer, then said,
“Sorry. These stories can get kinda long, and I hope I wasn’t boring you.”
“Not at all!” I said. “I love hearing these stories! It sounds like every day is an adventure for you girls.”
“I’ve been feeling the same way, actually,” mused Twilight.
***
The rest of the day passed in a blur of contentment. After we dropped off Rainbow’s bags and my new books, we set out to…well, do whatever came to mind. We had the rest of one more day to bum around Canterlot, before heading back to Ponyville to arrange my new home.
We went to the local movie theater, where Rainbow and I laughed ourselves stupid over a comedy flick about three stallions who were almost exactly like the Three Stooges. Twilight said afterward that she found it a little childish, but hey, I loved goofy comedy. Rainbow told me she and Pinkie would sometimes go down to Ponyville’s theater to see a movie that everypony else hated, just to laugh at how stupid it was. That sounded hilarious! I’d always wanted to do that, but never had anyone to do it with.
Twilight then took us to the Canterlot library, and while Rainbow browsed the shelves containing all books related to Daring Do, Twilight showed me some interesting books about the history of Equestria and Star Swirl the Bearded. She told me she had copies just like them back at the Ponyville library, and were free for my perusal whenever I wanted. I asked if I needed a library card, and she said she had never really had a use for them, though she knew of other libraries that used that method. She merely kept a record of who had checked out what book at what time, so I suppose that was just as well. This world really knew how to get me hooked on their most iconic subjects: the history of Equestria, the Wonderbolts, Star Swirl the Bearded…
It was nearing evening as Twilight took us to the Gilded Horseshoe as our celebratory dinner. It was part of the dress code to at least wear something, so I went in my full suit, while Twilight put on a pearl necklace that suited her nicely. Rainbow Dash refused to get frou-frou-ed up just for dinner, so we compromised by letting her wear my hat; she loved it.
We sat at an outdoor table, where I treated myself to a big plate of fettucine alfredo, one of my favorites. As we ate, and after only the bread that came with my pasta was left, I noticed music floating through the air, and for some reason, found it familiar. Not merely because of the song being played, but because of what it was being played on: a cello.
Turning in my chair, I found I was right. We were sitting near a small outdoor stage, and standing atop it on her hind legs was Octavia, the classy cellist I saw in Bon Bon’s sweet shop. She was playing that same beautiful melody that had drawn me to the shop in the first place, only she was accompanied by three other ponies with instruments of their own. A brown stallion with a white mane was at a piano, a purple stallion with a blue mane was strumming at a harp, and a blue mare with a brown mane was playing a tuba worn around her middle. When they stopped, everypony nearby applauded, along with me.
Possibly, Octavia had noted the different sound clapping hands made instead of clapping hooves, and, turning to the source of the sound, discovered me. She gave a small gasp of recognition.
“Hello, Miss Octavia,” I said.
“Good evening,” said Octavia, still somewhat flabbergasted. She motioned for her ensemble to take five, which they gladly did, and she took a seat at a table next to ours, the better to talk with me. “Goodness, you look…different!”
“Thanks. I had a meeting with Princess Celestia today.”
“You’ve met the princess?” asked Octavia, astounded.
“It’s thanks to Twilight that I was able to,” I said, indicating my unicorn friend. Twilight looked up and smiled. “We were arranging a situation for me. I plan on staying in Ponyville for a while, as an official resident.”
“Oh! How intriguing,” said Octavia. Then, after pondering for a moment, she said, in a grimmer tone, “That means you’ll have to put up with Vinyl, then. I do pity you.”
“I suppose so,” I said, laughing. “She doesn’t seem so bad, though.”
“No, of course not,” said Octavia. “She’s a dear friend, and very funny, but…well, she knows how to drive one’s patience. I daresay you’ve already experienced her ‘alarm clock’?”
“You mean her Wub-Meister?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
Octavia put a hoof to her temple with a slight laugh. “Oh, Celestia, she’s named it now…”
“How did you two become acquainted, if I might ask? It just seems kind of odd for a sophisticated cellist like you to be friends with a wild party animal like her.”
“It’s not quite as strange as that,” she said. “We grew up together, attended the same school. I stuck to my studies like a good filly, while she…”
She paused, obviously trying to find the right words.
“…She was an absolute maniac. In trouble every other day, sneaking into the principal’s office to play old rock and roll albums over the intercom, scribbling on the edges of her homework, sleeping in class.”
“Wow. Sounds like a real troublemaker.”
“That’s putting it mildly, I’m afraid. She was obnoxious and annoying, yes, though she still did relatively well enough grade-wise. Still, I’d never met another filly as passionate about music as she was. Our tastes were utterly opposites, of course, but the fact still remains.”
“So, you started hanging out because of music?”
“Well…not exactly,” said Octavia, delicately. “It was because of one particular lunch time. I was sitting by myself, as usual, when I caught sight of Vinyl. She was sitting alone as well, and looked…sad. I was surprised. She usually had a gaggle of other ponies laughing at some stupid prank she’d pulled, but today, she was utterly alone, and not even wearing those obnoxious sunglasses she even has today. I…knew what it was like to be alone. I kept to myself and stayed immersed in my schoolwork and my music, so I never really had time to make many friends.”
“Oh. I’m sorry,” I said.
“So, I threw caution to the wind and decided to sit next to her. I asked her what was the matter, and she said she had pulled a joke that none of her friends appreciated, and they left her all alone. Well, I said I would keep her company if she wanted. For a moment, she just looked at me, and then gave a kind of smile. She didn’t say anything, but I knew she appreciated it. From then on, we started hanging out more often. She started to like listening to my music (though she never admitted it aloud to anypony else), and I must admit, I’d be lying if I said her music didn’t have some thrill to it. It’s still horrid to listen to, though, but it’s just her way.”
“Do you visit each other often?”
“As often as we can manage. She does have ‘gigs’ to keep scheduled, and I have my own appointments, but yes, we do still see each other often.”
“Wow. Pretty cool how such opposites can attract.”
“Precisely what I remind myself whenever we meet,” said Octavia, with a small smile. “Oh, but listen to me, prattling on. I must be boring you out of your mind.”
“Oh, don’t fret about it. My worry was that I was keeping you from playing. You were doing a beautiful job. Is this your ensemble?”
“Oh, thank you,” said Octavia, pleased. “And yes, they are. That’s Frederic on piano-”
The brown stallion nodded curtly.
“Harpo on the harp-”
The blue stallion merely smiled.
“And that’s Beauty Brass on sousaphone.”
The mare grinned.
“Is there anything particular you’d like to hear? We’re on freelance at the moment, so we’re taking requests.”
I glanced at Twilight and Rainbow. They didn’t look like they had any in mind, so I asked,
“Do you know ‘Largo al factotum’ from Barber of Seville?” I asked. “It’s one of my all-time favorite classical pieces.”
Octavia looked puzzled for a moment, then said, in realization,
“Ohh, by Hossini!”
“Er, yeah! That’s what I meant,” I said. I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten that not everything was similarly named between our worlds. I’d have to become fluent in the language of ‘pony puns’.
“Consider it done. It was a pleasure talking with you, Dave.”
“Ah, you remembered,” I said, pleasantly. “Likewise, Miss Octavia.”
She returned to the stage and had a huddle with her ensemble. They then dispersed and sprang into Largo al factotum. All I can say is, it was a wonderful way to end dinner…
***
It was nearing 10 o’clock when we finally arrived back at our suites. Twilight saw us to ours, and then said,
“We’ll catch the 10 AM train tomorrow. With luck, we’ll have time to start looking into Dave’s new house.”
“Great!” I said. “Thanks for bringing us, Twilight. I would have been lost if you hadn’t guided me around.”
“My pleasure,” said Twilight, warmly. “Good night, you two.”
“Night, Twi!” said Rainbow.
“Good night,” I said, and our unicorn friend trotted off to her suite.
When we entered, we found a small burlap bag with a letter propped against it. I looked at Rainbow, who merely raised her eyebrows in curiosity. I took up the letter, which was sealed very officially with wax, carefully opened it, and read,
“Dear human,
This bag contains the allowance required for you to purchase your home, as well as some basic furnishings. You might disagree with the amount given, but it has been carefully calculated by our royal treasurer, taking into account the current housing market and prices of furniture. Remember, you are not a full-time member of the Canterlot Round Table, so you will not receive as large a payment as they do, but you should find this sufficient.
Signed,
Ironmane
Minister of Foreign Affairs.”
I picked up the bag. It gave a jingle of gold coins, but somehow, I felt as if it should have been bigger. Buying a house would be an expensive affair. Was this going to cover it and a bed?
“Maybe it’s because I still don’t fully understand bits,” I said, “but I can’t help but feel like I got the short end of the stick.”
“Don’t worry about it,” said Rainbow. “Celestia wouldn’t let this guy stiff you.”
“And at the same time,” I said, grimly, “Ironmane wouldn’t let the princess favor me too much.”
“Good point,” said Rainbow. “Still, it is what it is, right?”
“Suppose so. Well, that’s done, then.”
I stowed the bag safely into one of my saddlebags, and went into the bathroom to wash up and change. Rainbow was already under the covers when I came back out, and as I got in, I said,
“Rainbow?”
“Mm?”
“If I wake up to find you pranking me again,” I warned, “I’ll leave it to Pinkie to deal with you when we get home.”
“Ohh, I’m so scared,” said Rainbow, in a mock-terrified voice, but the both of us were smiling, so there was no malice in it. “Night, dude.”
“Good night, Rainbow.”
And I drifted off to sleep, my dreams this time filled with visions of the two princesses, who were serving as a kind of protective wall between me and cold, stony-faced Ironmane…