“So this is where y’all have been hidin’!” Applejack said as she walked into Pinkie’s bedroom.
“Hey, AJ,” Rainbow greeted her friend. Pinkie sat enraptured by Fluttershy’s story as she dictated it to Spike.
“I’ve been tryin’ to find Twilight all day, she was supposed to come ta Sweet Apple Acres and help with a chores, but ah never saw her.”
“Oh, well,” Rainbow Dash blushed. “She, um, learned the hard way to avoid doing her magic while I’m cloud bucking.” She rubbed the back of her neck, trying to look innocent.
Applejack facehooved. “Oh, not again, RD! That’s like, what, the third unicorn that’s happened to?”
“She’s been in a really foul mood all day, so we’re all writing a story to cheer her up!” Pinkie happily said.
“Now that’s an interestin’ idea! Can ah help? I always wanted to tell a good yarn.”
“Jump right in, AJ,” Rainbow offered her seat near Spike. “Fluttershy’s story of this ‘magical tea maiden’ taking a magical train to the biggest tea party ever isn’t exactly the most exciting thing.”
“Hey, I happen to like the idea of tea parties, I’m sure Twilight does too,” Fluttershy protested.
Applejack had taken her spot, laying down on Pinkie’s rug. “Mmm, yeah, this definitely needs a bit of kick. Maybe a good ol’ fashioned train robbery.” She cleared her throat in preparation to dictate her story to Spike. “‘The bandit were aimin’ ta board the Appleloosa Express, ready to steal the shipment of bits that was bein’ delivered to the Appleloosa Orphanage. But they didn’t expect that they’d be facin’ against the Lone Silver and her trusty mount, Ranger!’”
“Now, this is more like it!” Rainbow plopped herself on the ground with a big smile on her face.
Some minutes later, Twilight and Flutterina were sitting across from each other in one of the train cars. Like much of this dream-like space, there were no other beings around besides themselves on the train—even the engine was empty, the train somehow running itself. They had settled the animals into a different car, but the two had lost track of Daring during the ordeal.
“Um, where do you think that Daring Do went off to?” Flutterina quietly asked, playing with her tea kettle in her hoofs.
“Don’t know, don’t care,” Twilight mumbled, staring out the train window at the passing scenery. As soon as they crossed the canyon, the landscape had shifted from grasslands and forest to a wider arid plains. Twilight’s previous travels to Appleloosa and Dodge came to mind.
“What’s wrong, Twilight?” Flutterina had crossed over, placing a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Would a cup of tea help? Or I have my bottomless biscuit basket here—”
“No!” Twilight huffed.
Flutterina pulled back, turning away from the mare. “Oh, sorry, I’ll just go back—”
Twilight sighed and turned back to Flutterina.”No, it’s not your fault. Just that ever since I’ve been brought to wherever this place is, I’ve been subjected to events that could only come from the minds of my friends. A giant candy-loving monster is Pinkie to the core. Rainbow Dash can never stop talking about Daring Do ever since I introduced her to the series, and you,” she waved a hoof at Flutterina, “you’re even a more freighted version of Fluttershy.”
“Uh, ‘Pinkie’? ‘Fluttershy’?’ Flutterina asked, looking ashamed.
“Just forget I mentioned them.’ Twilight turned back to the window, moping on the window’s edge. “This ‘world’ is full of physical impossibilities. I know there’s no geography like this anywhere in Equestria. I just want to get back home.” She sniffed a bit, wiping a tear from her eye.
The far door of the train car burst “There you are!” Daring’s voice boomed out.
The two mares turned to look at the adventurer. Gone was the dirty olive-brown shirt, replaced with loose but spiffy wool jacket, blouse, and bow tie, accompanying her ubiquitous pith helmet.
“Ohhh, that looks nice, Daring,” Flutterina offered.
“Where’d you get that?!” Twilight blurted out.
“Hey, when Daring Do travels, she travels in style,” Daring said, slowly walking down the train aisle towards the two, showcasing her outfit to them
“Of course she does,” Twilight grumbled to herself.
“Hey, don’t worry, I’ve got something for you too, Twilight.” Daring lifted up a bundle of clothes, raising them above Twilight’s head and rapidly bringing them down across her torso. Twilight yelped at the action, before looking down at the outfit Daring thrust upon her—a loose blouse along with a prim, brown vest-jacket. “There, now you look like a proper sidekick for the great Daring Do!”
Twilight sat stunned for a moment from the sudden wardrobe change, before taking a minute to admire the outfit. “Hey, this isn’t too bad—wait, sidekick?!”
“Oh, do I get one?” Flutterina asked, expectantly.
Daring bowed before her, lifting the yellow hoof in hers. “You’re already as beautiful as you need to be, ma’am.”
“Oh, tee hee,” Flutterina giggled, blushing.
“Oh, Celestia,” Twilight moaned, planting her forehead onto her hoof.
A loud splat rang on one of the train windows. The trio turned to see a pie pan slowly drip off the window frame and fall away as the train sped forward.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “What now?”
Another pie splattered against a neighboring window. Daring had crossed over to that side of the car, flattening her body on a wall next to a window and peeked out. “Looks like a train robbery!”
“A r-r-robbery?!” Flutterina eeped, and cowered in the corner of a seat.
Twilight took her own glance as more pies continued to hit the train. Outside were about half a dozen or so carts, each pulled by a pair of stallions. On each, ponies were throwing pies from a large supply at the train. All of them—both pullers and throwers—wore bandanas that covered their snouts, and a range of western hats. Twilight’s mind nagged at the familiarity of some of these ponies, but between the thrown pies and dust brought up by the caravan, she couldn’t easily tell. “Huh, if I didn’t know better—” she started.
One of the throwers, an amber-coated stallion, paused and pointed to the train, before rearing onto his back legs. “Hey, this here is a ROOOOOO-berry!” he hollered over the noise of the carts, wheeling his front hooves all the while.
Twilight’s ear dropped, recognizing Braeburn’s masculine drawl anywhere—it was impossible to forget. “Of course. It’s about time I hit Applejack’s imagination.”
“Apple-who?” Daring asked. “You keep mentioning all these weird names.”
“Forget I said anything.” She peeked by outside, the barrage of pies continuing. One shattered through the train window, the tin clamoring on the floor. Flutterina covered her head ever further, whimpering quietly.
“We gotta find something to defend ourselves.” Daring pulled herself from the window, looking back and forth in the car. “Hold on, I’ll be right back!” She galloped towards the front of the train, disappearing into the next car.
“Hey, come back!” Twilight called out, and dodged aside as another pie crashed through the window next to her. Some of the filling splattered on her muzzle, and she took a tentative taste. “Apple. I should have guessed.”
“Stop the train and give us all your valuables!” the same stallion shouted during a pause in the barrage.
Twilight kept herself out of the line of fire. “We don’t have any valuables!” she shouted through the broken window.
Another pie tin flew through the window in responses, and the dessert attack resumed.
An idea struct Twilight. “Flutterina, didn’t you say you had an endless supply of sweets?”
Flutterina didn’t move from her cowering, her eyes shut tighter and her hooves covering her head. “Y-y-y-yes, I suppose...”
“We need them, now! Until Daring gets back here from wherever she went off to.” Twilight crouched down, out of the line of fire, to maker her way to Flutterina. She put her hoof onto her head. “Don’t worry, you’ll be safe.”
Flutterina looked up, her eyes wet with tears. “Okay, if you say so... but what will tea biscuits do?”
“If anything, slow the bandits down until we can get more help,” Twilight offered her hoof to help Flutterina up. Shakily, Flutterina got to her legs. “Now, just stay low, you can take cover by that bench, but just keep giving me your biscuits, okay?”
Flutterina nodded slowly, and followed Twilight as they slunk back to the far window. Having taken a spot under the train bench, Flutterina grabbed at a small basket that was on her neck chain. She took it into both hooves, turned it upside down, and started shaking it. A virtual waterfall of biscuits started to form a small heap on the floor.
Twilight looked a bit awestruck as the magic. “Okay, I think we’re going to be set there. Just keep that up, Flutterina!” She focused her magic into the pile, taking a large number of the biscuits into an ordered mass, floating just at the level of the window. With another twitch, Twilight commanded the biscuits to launch themselves at the bandits, the rapid firing sending a barrage at the nearby bandit carts. Twilight was too focused on maintaining the magic to see the results for herself, but the yelps of pain coming from outside told her it was working.
“Oh, it’s working,” Flutterina quietly offered, looking on in awe while continuing to provide ammunition for Twilight’s offensive spell. “You knocked one of the bandits off their cart!”
“Great!” Twilight released her spell having emptied her first load of biscuits. She took a few quick breaths before pouring her magic into another round of biscuit-ammunition.
As Twilight was making her second attack, the door to the adjoining car crashed open. Daring raced back in, pushing a dessert trolley with her head. “Here we go! Time to fight fire with fire!” She grabbed a few of the treats from it before using her rear hooves to kick the trolley down to the far end of the car towards Twilight.
Twilight finished off her second round of the biscuit barrage and then grabbed at the trolley as it passed. “Flutterina, grab something here and start throwing it!” she ordered, taking a plate of eclairs and using her magic to fling them at the carts.
“Um, are you sure it’s okay?” Flutterina asked, nervously.
Twilight continued to fire off pastries at the bandit forces. “Whatever these bandits want, it’s not a good thing. Of course it’s okay!”
Flutterina tentatively looked between the window and Twilight, and to the trolley, and then cautiously crawled over it, grabbing a small fruit tart gingerly in her hooves. She slowly crept back to the window and took the briefest of peaks out of it. Closing her eyes, she aimlessly threw the tart out the window. To Twilight’s surprise, the dessert hit one of the throwing bandits square in the eyes, and the stallion wobbled over the side of the cart he was in while trying to wipe the fruit pastry from his sight. “Hey, nice shot!” Twilight complimented her.
“Oh, I didn’t mean to hit anypony,” Flutterina backed off.
“No, no, that’s a good thing! Keep that up!”
The trio continued to fire back, a full-fledge war of dessert fighting between the train and the carts. Their ammunition on the dessert tray was starting to run low, Twilight noted as she grabbed at a plate full of donuts. And they still had numerous carts to deal with. “Daring, we’re almost out here,” she called up to her.
Suddenly, the noise from the bandits riding alongside the train change. Twilight and Daring peaked out the windows, and saw that the bandits’ attention was no longer on the train but on something coming up from behind them.
“I hope it’s not that Pinkzilla creature,” Daring yelled over din.
Twilight had craned her neck out to see exactly what it was. “Thank Celestia, it isn’t! It’s Applejack!”
Trailing the bandits but gaining ground every moment was a giant dog—a larger-than-life version of Winona, Twilight noted—with the familiar orange-coated mane riding atop it. Applejack’s hat was unmistakable, despite it being white, but Twilight was curious as to the mask that covered her eyes, and white shirt and vest she wore.
“Hee-haw! Hi-ho, Ranger!” Applejack shouted, pulling on the reins leading to the giant dog’s leash. Ranger jumped ahead and pounced on one of the carts, sending the bandits on it flying off. The hitch that connected the pullers to the cart snapped, and now free of their load, the pair of stallions galloped away in panic, shouting to their fellow bandits “Run! It’s the Lone Silver!”
Applejack—The Lone Silver, Twilight surmised—used the momentum to propel herself to another cart. The throwing bandits on it were stunned, giving the Lone Silver the opportunity to buck them off the cart. The stallions pulling the cart realized their fellow bandits has been knocked away, and ground their cart to a halt, at the same time as she jumped onto the back of another wagon.
Both Twilight and Daring stared flabbergasted at the feats outside the train. Even Flutterina had managed to crawl over to a window and peak out to see what was going on. “Wow, she’s good!” Daring said, appreciatively. “Not as good as yours truly, of course.”
“Riiii-ight,” Twilight groaned under her breath.
The Lone Silver and her giant dog made short work of the bandits, either disabling the carts or dealing with the bandits. She had managed to grab onto the one stallion that resembled Braeburn, holding him by biting down on his tail. She gave a brief whistle through her clenched teeth to Ranger, who had stopped a cart and was playfully licking one of its bandits. Ranger perked at the noise and lumbered forward, gaining pace with the still-moving cart. The Lone Silver tossed the bandit over onto the dog’s back, and then jumped over herself.
Their hero took Ranger’s reins and edged her mount towards the train, coming even with the cart the three were riding in. “Y’all okay in there?” she shouted over the din of the speeding train.
“Just fine, thank you,” Twilight called out.
Daring leaned out the window and waved excited. “You were amazing!”
“Just doing mah duty, ma’am,” the Lone Silver called out, taking off her hat and giving them a short bow. “Them bandits been tryin’ ta take down every train nowadays, ya can’t be too careful. Ya’ll mind if I come aboard? Gotta bring this fella to justice.” She nodded at the bandit, laid out flat across the dog’s back, stunned by the last few minutes.
“Er, sure, why not?” Twilight shrugged.
The three watched as the Lone Silver snapped the reins briefly. Ranger yipped and slowed down a notch, bringing her even with the back end of the car. Twilight and Daring moved towards the end of the car, stepping into the connecting platform between cars.
“Here, grab this fella for me, would you?” the Lone Silver shouted, taking the bandit’s tail in her mouth again.
“Right, go ahead!” Daring waved. The Lone Silver heaved at the stallion’s tail and flung the pony across the few feet of open space. Daring grabbed onto the bandit as he landed on the platform, and dragged him back into the car.
Once the platform was clear, Silver made the jump over, landing gracefully on four hooves. She took off her hat and waved back to Ranger. “Go on home, girl, I’ll meet ya there!”
The giant dog barked in acknowledgement and headed off away from the train, soon lost to sight as the train surged ahead.
“Thanks for the help out there, y’all,” The Lone Silver said, shaking Twilight’s hoof. “Been tryin’ to catch this bandit gang for months!”
Twilight shook her head. “No, it was your timely arrival that helped us. We were running low on desserts ourselves.”
The Lone Silver laughed. “Let’s just call it even and leave it at that, partner?”
“Sure thing,” Twilight smiled, and followed Silver into the car. There, Daring had found a length of rope and was hog-tying the lead bandit, while Flutterina sat on a bench, taking short, quick breaths.
“Figured you’d want this guy tied up there,” Daring offered, pulling the last knot tight with her teeth.
“Perfect!” The Lone Silver tipped her hat to the three. Twilight was able to get a better look at SIlver’s outfit and was reminded of that of Sheriff Silverstar from Appleloosa, down to the sheriff star badge pinned to it. “Ah’m afraid ah didn’t catch your names?”
“I’m Daring Do, adventurer extraordinaire!” the mare said proudly, shaking Silver’s offered hoof. “The little miss over here is Flutterina, and my assistant there is Twilight Sparkle.”
“Assistant?” Twilight said incredulously.
“Sorry y’all had to encounter them bandits.They’ve been raiding every train that comes through these parts, looking for somethin’ valuable to steal.” Silver put her hoof down with some force on the back of the bandit see captured. “Isn’t that right?”
The stallion yelped at the pain. “Er, yes ma’am!” he yelped nervously.
“Well, I reckon that this should tell you that you bandits better stop attackin’ these trains. Ain’t been nothin’ of value save for the orphans, and y’all wouldn’t want to steal from orphans, would ya?” Silver ground her hoof a bit harder into the stallion’s back.
The bandit grunted in pain. “No, ma’am!”
“Good, that’s all ah needed to hear!” Silver bent down and grabbed at the knot on the ropes and lifting the stallion off the train floor. She carried him back out to the walkway between the two cars. “Just make sure all your friends know that too, right?” she uttered through her teeth.
“Yes, ma’am!” The stallion gave her a vigorous nod.
“Great! Now just hold on...” Silver looked at the passing scenery, and started to swing the stallion by the rope. All of a sudden she let him go, causing him to fly out past the train, landing softly in a passing cactus patch. His cry of pain carried over the sound of the train engine.
Silver walked back in, where the others had watched what she had done. “That’ll teach him. Now where can a mare get a drink around here?”
“Oh, I have some tea here,” Flutterina offered.
“Quite charmin’, missus,” Silver nodded. “I’ll reckon I’ll take a cup.”
Some time later, the four had settled into one set of seats that were mostly free of the glass shards and dessert crumbs from the previous fight. Flutterina had provided them all with a warm cup of tea. For Twilight, it had been the first real moment of rest she had since appearing in the candy version of Ponyville some hours ago, and she was retelling the events she had experienced to the other three.
“Wait, are you saying we’re not real?” Daring poked at herself and Flutterina with a hoof. “Sure feels real to me.”
“Well, I don’t know if you’re really ‘real’ or not,” Twilight offered. “For all I know, this could be a different world that I’ve been transported to. But, and I hate to break it to you, but I’ve got a whole shelf of books in my library about your adventures, Daring.”
“Well of course! I’m that famous, right?”
Twilight shook her head. “They’re all fiction. In my world, you only exist as a character on paper. But that doesn’t explain why I’m here with you.”
“You mean, ah’m in a book too?” Silver asked, a worried look on her face.
“No, at least, not that I’m aware. But you just look exactly like my friend AJ. And Flutterina is a spitting image of Fluttershy.” Twilight paused, a flash of realization. “And considering that you, Daring, are basically Rainbow Dash’s idol, and Pinkzilla is just a giant twisted version of Pinkie Pie, I wonder... did I end up in a world created by my friends’ imagination?”
“Oh, that sounds ominous,” Flutterina whispered, cowering into her corner of the seat.
Twilight gently touched Flutterina. “I’m not trying to scare you, but I’m more worried about myself. I’m stuck in this world, whatever it is, and without access to my books or Princess Celestia, I have no idea how I’m going to get home. I don’t even know if anypony’s aware that I’m gone.”
“I dunno, from what you’ve said, it sounds like these friends of yours would have jumped into action when they discover you to have disappeared,” Daring offered.
“Trust me, Daring, you don’t know my friends very—ARRRGH!”
The group was suddenly thrown forward as a grinding metal-on-metal noise came from all around. Twilight crashed into the seat in front of her, banging her shoulder against its wooden frame. “What now?!”
“Somepony’s stopping the train!” Daring called out, looking at the scenery outside started to come to a halt.
“But there wasn’t a conductor!” Twilight protested, helping Flutterina who tumbled over upside down get back to her hooves.
A dark shape zipped by the train windows, too fast to make out. The Lone Silver galloped to the window to try to see what passed them. “It looks like some kind of giant bird.”
Twilight joined the masked hero at the window. “A giant bird...oh dear...”
Another dark shape shot by the opposite window, its shadow flickering in the car.
“That’s not a bird! That’s the Grimacing Griffons!” Daring shouted.
Twilight snuck her head out through the window and looked towards the back of the train. Several of the Grimacing Griffons were flying up and down the lengths of the locomotive while others had latched onto the sides with their sharp talons, flapping with all their might to counter the forward direction of the train. In the distance, an indistinct cloud of brown and gray specks was rapidly nearing the train.
Twilight ducked back inside as another Griffon shot by. “You just had to go and tick them all off, didn’t you, Daring?” Twilight nagged.
“What’re these Griffons?” The Lone Silver asked, taking her own gander at the attacking forces.
“It’s really a long story,” Twilight said. “Let’s just say, they’re not friendly.”
A loud crash of glass breaking rang through the back door of the car, and gruff voices could be heard.
“Quick, block the door!” Twilight pointed with a hoof.
Daring and the Lone Silver simultaneously jumped, bracing themselves with their backside at the door just as it tried to bang open. “Twilight, get the dessert trolley!” Daring shouted, planting her hooves in the carpet to keep herself at the door as the Griffons continued to pound at it.
“Er, right,” Twilight spun around, looking for the ravaged dessert trolley from earlier. It has slid towards the front of the car, and she quickly enveloped it in her magic to send it back to the others. “Here we are, but I don’t think that would do much good—”
“Smash it!” The Lone Silver ordered. “We can use the wood!”
“Oh, right! Watch out, Flutterina,” Twilight cautioned the mare nearby as she surged her magic aura around the cart, throwing it to the floor of the train. The pieces of the troller shattered, leaving the supporting frame rods among the other shards of wood.
“Perfect!” Daring turned herself forward, setting her weight on her front hooves while pushing against the banging door with her back ones. This gave her enough leverage to lean forward and grab at one of the rods from the debris of the trolley. “Here, stick that in the door handle, Silver!” she hollered, tossing the rod back behind her.
“You gotcha, partner!” The Lone Silver grabbed the rod in mid-air in her mouth, and quickly slid it in place. The two stepped back, the rod just holding the door in place.
“Oh, dear, that’s not going to last long,” Flutterina muttered, panickedly.
“Let’s get to the next car, we just need to hold them off long enough,” Twilight asserted, pointed towards the front of the train.
The Lone Silver led the group, opening the door at the far end while Twilight helped Flutterina up. Daring walked backwards, keeping her eye on the barricaded door.
“Uh, guys, we’ve got a problem,” the Lone Silver offered as she opened the door on the next car. Twilight glanced forward to see half a dozen Griffons already occupying that car, their heads turning as one at the commotion from the end of the car. Silver slammed the door shut, pressing herself against it.
“Roof!” Daring called out. “Get to the roof!”
Twilight didn’t acknowledge the order but simply jumped for the ladder that led to the roof. She quickly scrambled up and reached off to offer a hoof. “Flutterina, get up here!”
“I-I don’t know if I can climb,” Flutterina eked out, peering at the ladder.
“Don’t worry, I got her!” Daring said as she grabbed the frightened pegasus with her hooves and made the quick flight to the roof. “We’re getting to the front of the train!”
The Lone Silver waited for Daring to disappear out of her sight before launching herself at the ladder. Twilight reached out a hoof to help the masked mare up. “Thanks, partner!”
Twilight tilted her head towards the front of the train, where Daring and Flutterina had headed off to. “Hurry up, those Griffons are going to be here in a moment!”
The pair jumped to the next car, just as the door below them slammed open and the Griffons swarmed out. Twilight and the Lone Silver galloped to catch up with Daring and Flutterina within a car length.
Twilight shot a glance behind them, seeing several Griffons climb up to the roof, vicious looks on their faces. One of them gave a gruff, unintelligible order to the others, pointing to the left and right of the train. She called ahead to the others. “They’re going to try to flank us!”
“We’re running out of cars here, Twilight!” Daring shouted, flying ahead with Flutterina in her grip. “One more and we’re at the engine.”
“N-n-not only that, but look! Are those the b-b-bandits?” Flutterina pointed anxiously ahead with a hoof to a number of dust clouds rising in the distance, heading right for the train. Twilight squinted as she ran, and could see the familiar sight of more carts being pulled by a number of stallions.
“Just go as far as you can, Daring!” Twilight ordered, making the lead between the roofs of two cars alongside the Lone Silver. “Silver, do you think you can hold off the Griffons for a few minutes? If I can get to the train engine—”
“Go ‘head, Twilight! I got these!” The Lone Silver made a short jump into a braking slide as Twilight raced ahead. Coming to a stop, Silver turned and firmed her stance on all four hooves, eying the trio of Griffons closing in on her. As soon as the lead one got close, she lept at the griffon, landing all four hooves on its chest and sending it sprawling. His two comrades gawked for a moment at the sudden attack, giving Silver the chance to buck them both off the train. “Who’s next?” she called out, eying the next pack of Griffons that were gathering on the adjoining car’s roof.
Twilight watched for a moment as the Lone Silver dealt with the Griffons, and nearly collided with Daring Do and Flutterina when she turned back. Stumbling to a stop, she saw why the pegasus had stopped—some of the Griffons had flown ahead of them and were climbing around and through the engine to intercept the group. Meanwhile, the bandits had gotten closer and were starting to circle the train, hooting and cheering on the Griffons.
“Oh, horseapples,” Daring muttered, rapidly turning her head to look for an escape route. Flutterina could only cover her eyes with her hooves, shivering in fright.
Twilight panicked. Not that she hadn’t felt scared or afraid for her life any time during the last several hours, but this was the first time she truly felt helpless. Every other time she had been in a tight situation, there was a narrow escape that had come in the nick of time—just have if it had been written that way in a story. But here, there was no sign at all of help coming. The Lone Silver was doing her best to keep the Griffons behind them at bay, knocking a few off the train but the rest mostly staying out of her bucking range. Daring had managed to coax Flutterina to upend her biscuit basket again and was tossing the desserts at the Griffons, stalling their approach.
Twilight turned to the sky and screamed. “Oh, Celestia, is there anypony out there that can help us?!”