//------------------------------// // The Crazy Thing About Epic Duals // Story: Jokers Wild // by blowngasket //------------------------------// Chapter 18: The Crazy Thing About Epic Duels "Umm...did your father say he was getting his rifle?" Perry asked Fluttershy, still in a bowing position. "We said hello, now let's go!" Fluttershy said quickly, obviously nervous. Her wishes didn't matter though, as her father came back with an old wood and iron barreled musket. "You see this here? This is Bessie. Bessie kept me alive when I was part of the Sky Troops back in my day," Fluttershy's dad told Perry, holding the tip of it awfully close to Perry's mask. He slowly stood up from his position staring at the large gun pointed at him. "Truly a work of art she is," Perry said to him flatly. "Yup. Now tell me why I shouldn't just shoot you right here for even thinking that you're good enough for my daughter?" Fluttershy's dad asked. "Several reasons, actually. Firstly, do you really want her to see someone she likes turned into a bloody corpse before her eyes, as well as staining her nice outfit? Secondly, though you are too proud to admit it, you're more afraid that you will lose your little girl than anything else, and the simple thought that it may happen scares you to death, hence the reason you are reacting the way you are. Your body may be calm, but your thoughts are shaky and confused," he glared at Perry as he spoke. Fluttershy simply stood there, afraid for both of the important men in her life. "Finally, I would never let any harm come to your daughter, and when the time comes for you to leave this world, you will be able to go knowing she is in capable hands," what happened next shock Fluttershy. Perry got down on his knees and took the barrel of the gun and pointed it at his head. "Now, go ahead and pull the trigger, but I guarantee you that you won't kill me," Perry laughed gleefully. He continued to look at Perry, glaring with his cold hard stare. "You're fairly cocky, boy. What makes you so sure that you can survive a bullet?" he asked, pushing the gun against his mask. "I don't know many who can, but if you must know, it's not loaded," Perry said with a gleeful chuckle. "What makes you think that?" Fluttershy's dad said to Perry slowly, pushing the rifle uncomfortably against his head. "You did, actually. That is your favorite gun, which you used during the old days. Older rifles take time to reload, which you didn't have with how fast you came out in response to our arrival. You would never keep it loaded because the powder could possibly discharge accidently. Due to your time as a soldier, you would have learned that and always followed through," he stared down at Perry for several seconds before finally speaking. "Name's Squall. You past the first test, but I still have my eyes on you, boy," he removed the rifle from Perry and went over to Fluttershy, who was still in a state of frozen shock. He hugged her tightly and smiled happily. "What a pleasure it is to see my little princess! Glad you could come visit you old dad every once in a while. How have you been?" Squall asked his daughter. "Umm...umm..." she couldn't speak, the words far from gone after that little incident. "Actually, this was her idea, Mr. Squall," Perry said to him. Fluttershy looked over to Perry, wondering what it was he was doing. "You see, she insisted that I come and meet you, because she wouldn't want you to not be included in something as important as this. Right, Fluttershy?" Perry looked over to her, along with Mr. Squall. "O-Of course! I really did miss you, and I figured we could...umm... try and have a nice dinner together," Fluttershy said to her dad. "I can get started on it while you...well...get to know Perry!" "I don't like the thought of strangers coming into my home...and boy..." "It is Perry, sir..." Perry said, kind of tired of being called boy. "Boy..." Squall gave an extra emphasis on the boy part. "... you be a stranger one if I have ever seen one. A real man looks at a person without wearing such stupid looking things. Take it off, or you can forget coming in..." Fluttershy looked nervously at the two. "Perry doesn't like ..." she was interrupted by Perry, who put his hand to his mask. "So, I am allowed to enter if I remove this mask, correct?" Perry asked politely. "You heard me right. Take it off, and then you can enter," Fluttershy watched intently as Perry took a deep breath, and took his mask off. Fluttershy and Squall both gasped when they looked at his face. He had on another identical mask underneath it. Letting loose a quiet snicker, he walked towards the door. "The mask has been removed. May I come in now? It would be a real shame to see a real man go back on his word," Perry grinned from beneath his cover. Squall glared up at Perry, only to grumble as he moved to the side granting him and Fluttershy entrance into his home. "You're a tricky little shit, I will give you that. Don't think you can pull a fast one like that on me again," he turned to Fluttershy, and smiled nicely. Perry watched, truly wondering if this man just hated everyone else in existence. "Dear, why don't you get started on dinner, while I get to know your new...friend here?" he asked, slightly cringing at the friend part. "Umm sure...please behave, you two," Fluttershy said to them. She was worried that she might walk out and witness a war torn battlefield. She sighed and walked into the kitchen. "So, your daughter tells me..." Perry started but was rudely interrupted by Squall. "Listen here, boy. You're clever, too clever. I don't like people like you, always scheming and planning. I don't know what you think you're doing, but you can forget about dating my daughter," Perry sighed and looked at him "I don't mean to sound rude, but I wanted to meet you as a formality of good intentions. If you don't feel like giving me permission, I can assure you that I will simply not care," Perry said calmly. "I am not after your approval, do not care what you do to try and keep her from me, and personally your tough man act may have scared others, but I have dealt with far worse..." "You really are a little bastard," Squall said glaring. He stood up and got in Perry's face. "You don't even have a clue who you're dealing with. I am former Major Squall, descendant of Commander Hurricane. I have seen more battles than any soft and proper little joker like you, and I have done things for this country that even you could not comprehend. So don't think I couldn't stop you from corrupting my little girl and sending you to the farthest reaches of hell," Perry simply chuckled. He didn't feel like arguing that point with this man and simply decided to change the topic. "What do you do nowadays?" Perry said in a calm demeanor, prompting more mean stares from Squall, obviously not amused at Perry's lack of caring. "Young people like you really have no idea how easy you have it," Squall started to yell, prompting Fluttershy to peek around the corner. "People like me had to ...." "Sacrifice alot for us to blah blah blah," Squall grabbed Perry by the collar of his shirt, though it did not keep Perry from talking. "I have heard that so many times now, that I stopped keeping count. Seriously, you keep on about your commitment and sacrifice. I thank you for that, but you're so self absorbed in your own accomplishments that you feel no remorse in judging others who you believe are no where near as good as you are, or in your case once were. Now put me down please, as I would rather not cause a scene and would prefer to have a nice dinner with the woman I care about and her family," he continued to glare, before putting Perry down. "What could possibly make you think that you are so perfect for her?" Squall asked. "There is and never will be such a thing as perfect. It is only in your head as a standard to use against her finding her own happiness at the risk of displeasing you," Perry figured he might as well do the smart thing and just end all discussions here. He took a deep breath to calm himself down before speaking. "I sure as hell didn't want to have to do this, but you seem like the kind of person who only listens to the drums of battle. I wager a challenge if you are interested," Perry spoke calmly. Squall raised an eyebrow towards him. "What makes you think I am dumb enough to fall for one of your cons?" he responded, eyeing Perry curiously. "No cons, no mind games. A simple test of physical strength. Since I can't fly, rule that out. Otherwise you may pick the challenge. I will not use any magic to change the course in my favor, and even if I tried, someone with your experience should be able to point me out anyways," Perry said calmly, looking down the old man as he contemplated the idea." "I win, you go away and stay out of my daughters life?" Squall asked. "Indeed, but the reward for me winning must be just as fit. If I win..." Perry and Squall's eyes were locked as Perry made his ultimatum clear. "You have a nice quiet dinner with us and try to enjoy it. I know how hard that would be for you so it is only fair," Perry chuckled, causing the man in front of him to grumble. Squall had the advantage, as he could chose any physical competition that he sees fit, even a fight to the death. It was a nice thought, but the mess would be too hard to hide, and he didn't have the right to kill. Squall grinned slightly, the look managing to shake Perry's nerves slightly. "Arm wrestling. Simplest way to prove a man's strength and weed out weaklings," the conversation had caught the attention of Fluttershy, who could only watch the dramatic challenge play out. Perry prepared to fight her father in an epic clash for the right to win her love. She stared at both men, finding the entire thing slightly stupid and aggravating, but they had already decided. Sure it may have just been an arm wrestling contest, but it was a duel nonetheless. Perry got up and followed Squall, as he made his way into the kitchen. Perry watched curiously as Squall pulled out an official arm wrestling set-up from a closet. "I take it you are quite into this arm wrestling sport then?" Perry asked, quite amused at how proper this was going to be. "Umm my dad...is umm...a five time Equestrian champion," Fluttershy said nervously. Squall grinned, rolling up his sleeve. His arm was massive, obviously built up from many hard work out sessions. Perry rolled his up as well, and though his arm wasn't nearly as built, the muscle build was there from long hours of acrobatic training and combat practice. Both took their seats, placing their elbows on the cushion and grabbing the grips to the side, a precaution so they couldn't use their other arm. Finally they interlocked their hands and gripped tightly. "Sir, you have a strong grip. Much could be said about the grip of a man," Perry said calmly. "Same to you, but your still a twig compared to me. The rules are simple. No letting go of the grip, no magic, and no fancy hand twists of the such. A simple test of arm strength, and nothing more." Fluttershy watched as they were ready to start. She didn't know what to think at this point. The entire thing could have been easily avoided if her dad wasn't being so stubborn, and if Perry wasn't so confident in his own abilities. Was Perry really capable of taking her father on, and would he really be gone from her life if he lost? All the thoughts continued to bother her as she watched the two most wonderful idiots in her life go at it. She was angry, nervous, and slightly happy all at the same time, though her outward appearance could be seen as stunned, simply watching and waiting for what was to occur to begin. "Three..." Squall counted. "Two..." "One..." "GO!" Both of the men's grips tightened as they started to force each other onto the table. Squall was strong, one of the stronger people Perry has ever faced in anything. He was obviously a champion for a good reason. Perry, on the other hand, though not taking any ground, was not giving any either. Squall couldn't help but be surprised that he could manage to stave off his force. They were neck in neck, their arms twitching as they tried to force each other back. Fluttershy watched intently, as this was possibly the most important arm wrestling match in her life, something not many ever get to say, or would ever say due to embarrassment. The seconds dragged on into minutes and both had barely done more than move a few inches left and right. Squall was getting tired out though, while Perry's muscles, burning up more energy to manage to hold Squall in place, were still built with a combination of strength and endurance in mind. Squall, knowing he didn't have much left in the tank, decided to put it all into one powerful finish, attempting to take Perry out. Using every ounce of strength, he attempted to smash Perry through the table if he could. Squall's reaction could be seen as that of disbelief as, though he managed to move Perry greatly, he was still an inch from hitting. Perry used this surprise to deliver the finisher to Squall. With as much force as he could manage, Perry reversed the direction and slammed Squalls hand into the table hard. The sound of the hand hitting could be heard reverberating all throughout the house. Squall simply stared in awe, both panting heavily. "YAAAAAAAY!" Fluttershy yelled, letting out the loudest yay she has ever done, jumping up and down happily. If Rainbow were here, she would have been proud of her. She ran up and hugged Perry, causing Squall to flinch slightly. Though it was tough, as a man of honor, he didn't say anything and accepted the loss. She looked at both of the men, their hands still interlocked on the table. "Umm, you know you can let go now," both Squall and Perry looked at each other, and nodded in understanding. Perry chuckled slightly. "I don't think we can right now," he said slowly. "Happens all the time, we just need a minute to get feeling back in our arms...in the meantime...Perry," he started to frown slightly, but kept his strong appearance, "you are welcome to stay for dinner. You had better be on your best behavior, though, because I will chase you out with Bessie if I so happen to suspect you're doing something despicable with my little Shy here," Fluttershy blushed at the comment, while Perry nodded in agreement. "I have no issue with that. Also, thank you for actually calling me Perry. I don't think we will be needing to shake hands now at the least," Perry said, laughing. "Definitely an understatement," Squall responded, letting loose a small chuckle of his own. ---------- ---------- ---------- "So...you also don't eat meat," Squall said, taking a bite of his salad as he watched Perry stick his fork up his mask. The thing was unsettling to him, but after Fluttershy explained that this is normal, he accepted it, though it wouldn't not bother him. "Yes, though it's more of a lifestyle choice than anything else. By the way, Fluttershy, this tofu steak is delicious," she smiled at the complement. "Thank you. My dad loves to eat meat, and would eat it all the time if possible," Fluttershy said. "But, being considerate of my little girls feelings, I do tend to keep a nice supply of alternative products...not crazy about them, but if it's for her, then I can live," Squall said, swallowing a piece of his own steak now. "Now, Perry, what exactly do you do at the castle?" Squall asked, trying to at least be civil. "I entertain guests of the Princesses, and sometimes accompany them on trips," Perry told Squall. "And you got as strong as you are doing that?" Perry nodded. "Having an extra body guard was always useful, so I train when I can to stay in shape. After all, it's fun and games until someone loses an eye," Perry said, chuckling. "Can't disagree with you there. Better than being a chicken. So how long have you known my Fluttershy here?" Squall looked over at Fluttershy, seeing her blush and smile. "Almost a week," Perry responded, getting an odd look from him. "A week... not a lot of time to get to know someone," Squall frowned. Perry laughed in responce. "It is true, but there is something special about her, an odd connection that just worked," Perry said to him. "I would argue with you, but I can relate," Squall, for the first time, looked sad. Perry could understand why, as Fluttershy had told him before. "It's fine, I understand. Fluttershy told me about her mother." "A story for another time then, I suppose," Squall recomposed himself and looked at the two. Both Perry and Fluttershy nodded, not wanting to upset him anymore. The rest of the dinner was quiet. Perry helped Fluttershy clean up, his water manipulation spell making it go twice as fast. Squall sat in the living room, looking at some old photo's of days past. Fluttershy and Perry soon joined Squall, taking a seat by him. Squall put the photo album down, and looked over to Perry. "I still don't like you, but I accept the fact that you are dating my daughter," he looked over to Fluttershy and smiled. "Honey, could you get me a cup of tea please." "Of course. Perry would you like one as well?" Perry nodded. Fluttershy got up and walked into the kitchen. When she was around the corner, Squall quickly grabbed Perry by the neck and pulled him close to his face and started to whisper into his ear. "You ever do anything to break my little angel's heart, I will make you regret ever being considered a though. People will vomit at the mention of the things that I would do. Is that clear?" Perry knew a threat when he heard one, and that was legit. "Crystal clear, sir. I will treat her with the kind of respect that a fine lady like her deserves," Perry said. Squall held him for a few more seconds before putting him down. Right in time as Fluttershy just walked in with the cups of tea. She gave the cups to the men and sat down next to Perry. "After this, we should be going. It is getting late, after all," Fluttershy said to Perry. "With everything that has happened, I would rather not get caught in another monster attack...That last one was scary," Squall looked over to the two curiously. "I heard about that from the neighbors. Something about a huge furry rhino looking creature, though it didn't do much damage. You weren't there, were you?" he asked, showing more concern than anger. Fluttershy looked down and nodded. "Sorry...it just...well...happened where me and Perry were. I passed, out and when I woke up I was safe at my friend Twilight's home," she said. "Well I am glad that you are safe at least. What happened to the beast anyways?" Squall looked at her, as she smiled. "Perry managed to make it go away with the help of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna!" she said happily. He looked over at Perry slightly dumbfounded. "That little bastard did WHAT?!" ---------- ---------- ---------- Fluttershy and Perry walked out of the house and headed for the edge of the clouds. After explaining that it was a dream, hinting at Fluttershy to go along with it, Perry was in the clear about having a closer working connection to the Princesses than explained. "I am sorry, Perry. Please don't be mad," Fluttershy said, looking down at the clouds they were walking on. "It is fine, Flutters. No harm done. I would just rather not go about explaining what I do to everyone. Maybe one day we can tell him. He would be shocked if he found out I technically outrank him," Perry laughed. "I don't think he would mind. He is a nice man, if he lets you get to know him," Fluttershy smiled. "He was a great father, and though he is on the protective side, he will always be special to me," they finally arrives at the edge of the cloud. Fluttershy started to lift the back of her sweater, but Perry stopped her and held out his hand. "You did enough going up, I have the return trip. Just grab on and relax," Perry said. Fluttershy avoided his hand and hugged him instead. Perry was once again glad for the mask, because all of this blushing was completely unlike him. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy. He hugged back, as he leapt off the cloud. "Feather's Grace," the purplish orb surrounded the two, reducing the fall to a slow and steady float. Fluttershy admired the night scenery from above. Even when she did fly, she never did it at night. Her first time, however, gave view to the lights of Canterlot and Ponyville twinkling along the ground. "Wow...it's...just...wow..." she looked all around, Perry moving them towards the direction of her cottage, couldn't help but just stare at her. It was something to see her happy, but sharing in the happiness with her made it all the better. She looked over to Perry, who took her by surprise when he moved the mask to the side slightly to be able to plant a soft kiss on her lips. He held it there only for an instant, before pulling back and sliding the mask back on. She giggled and blushed at his quick but affectionate action. She rested her head into his chest, and slowly fell asleep while in the air. Perry guided them back to solid ground, near her house, Fluttershy still sound asleep in his arms. Perry released the spell and walked inside her house, continuing to carry her up to her bedroom. He gently laid her down and tucked her in, before giving her one more kiss goodnight. ---------- ---------- ---------- Perry's walk home was filled with happiness and a feeling of being triumphant. He had fought a great battle today, Fluttershy's father, and came out as the victor. That other guy was just a quick warm-up, Perry almost completely forgetting about him. Perry walked into his home happy to be himself for once. He knew he was kind of blowing of his responsibilities, but everything would be fine.