//------------------------------// // Chapter 75: Donuts // Story: The Reader // by GnollReader //------------------------------// Princess Celestia appeared in a flash above Manehatten, the city stretching out beneath her. She spotted the position of her guards with ease, the old industrial district looked like a beehive as the troops mingled around the entrance to the sewers. With a slight flap of her wings she descended quickly, landing between the saluting troops. She paid them no heed but instead walked towards the entrance of the sewers with quick steps. At the entrance, Berryshakes was busy giving commands to the troops, "Make sure those ponies get medical attention. You there, get the survivors gathered up and ready for detention. You three, get inside and help the others move the bodies." the guards visibly shivered at entering the place of carnage. They had seen the faces of the guards that had entered first, they had returned white as snow and heaving heavily. Berryshakes saw princess Celestia approach, "Princess..." she saluted. "What is the situation, Lieutenant ?" Celestia asked after Berryshakes had returned to a relaxed position again. "We have thirty-two rats in total, twenty-five dead, five of the surviving wounded heavily, but they'll live. No casualties on our side." "Good, see that their wounds are tended to but keep a watchful eye on them. I will question them later." her voice was as cold as ice, "Anything else?" "We were able to free three captive ponies, sadly we came too late for five others." Berryshakes sad with a bitter voice. "Do not worry, Lieutenant. You did all you could. Rest assured the izelim will pay dearly for their crimes. Where are Marshall Purple Haze and..." Before she could finish her sentence a voice could be heard coming from the entrance, "Seriously, you are not eating that thing!" Celestia smiled softly as she recognized Purple Haze's voice. Her smile dropped considerably as two figures appeared from the entrance. "Why not? Is good food." the gnoll and Purple Haze stepped forth, he was holding his hammer in one hand and something that reminded her of a fishing pole in the other. At the end of the curious construct hung what she identified as an alligator, as big as a pony. There were teeth marks in its head. "Why not? It comes from the sewers! I don't even want to think what filth it swam in! And to top it off..." her voice became quiet, "Remember that the izelim fed those poor ponies to them? It would be like eating a pony!" she was covered in scratches and blood, the gash and the cut still open and bleeding slightly. "Scar can smell no pony on this." he said as he held it up to inspect it, "Only pony droppings... maybe Scar can wash first..." just like Purple Haze he was covered in cuts and blood too. What surprised Celestia even more where the knifes in his arm and thigh, the gnoll didn't even seem to notice them. "You are not eating it and that's final!" Purple Haze stomped her wounded hoof down, wincing at the pain, "Damn rats..." "Can't even believe that worked..." one of the guards whispered to another guard of the first squad. The guard only nodded with a small smile, "You owe me five bits." The gnoll gave a heavy sigh as he dropped the alligator on the ground, "Never let's it have any fun..." "Marshall, we are missing one dead rat." one of the guards who had only arrived recently reported to Purple Haze. She simply gave a huff and pointed towards the alligator with a hoof, "Inside the gator, good luck getting it out." the guard stared at the scaled animal with unblinking eyes. The guards from the first team merely chuckled at this. Scar was the first to spot Celestia, he waved her a happy greeting as he stepped towards her, "Hello Celestia! Did Celestia come to see dead rats? Scar and Purple Haze smashed many rats today, was good gnoll work." "Are you two feeling well? You should get those wounds treated as soon as possible." Celestia said with worry in her voice. The gnoll merely waved his hand, "Is nothing, Scar has thick hide. It has had worse." "There are knifes stuck in you." Celestia replied with an even voice. The gnoll looked at the knifes in surprise, "Oh... it forgot about those..." he pulled the knife from his thigh with a grunt and threw it away with a shrug, "Silly little knifes. Give day or two and Scar will be fine again." "I will not allow you to run around wounded like that, I want you to get medical treatment immediately. That includes you as well, Marshall." Purple Haze checked the wound on her leg, "No need to worry princess. It's not giving me much trouble, we'll wait until the captives are patched up first. They need it more." she took off her helm and saw the cut on her cheek in the reflection of the polished metal, "Huh, didn't notice that... looks pretty cool... What do you think, Scar?" The gnoll raised a fist and struck it to his chest with a thump, "Sign of warrior. Cool." he didn't even know what 'cool' meant, but she had earned this scar by all rights. Princess Celestia gave a small groan, "It's like I'm handling foals... Stand before me for a moment, I shall do this myself." her magic started to flare up, Purple Haze started to fear she would loose her new scar, but the concentration of the princess was broken by another voice. "Is that the beautiful princess Celestia I hear? Let me get a better look!" "Tag wants to see?" Scar shrugged and lifted the hammer off his shoulder, placing it on the ground before the puzzled princess, "Celestia, is Tag." Celestia stared at the hammer in surprise, had her ears just played a trick on her? That voice possibly couldn't have come from... "Ahh... princess Celestia. You are as beautiful as you were when I first saw you in the castle." Celestia raised an eyebrow, her sister had mentioned something about the hammer, but nothing like this. "But where are my manners, allow me to introduce myself. I, am Sir Tag. Crusher of evil, terror of rats, tables, chairs, walls and all those evil constructs mocking this world with their unnatural stability. I travel with my master to bring forth the message of our art in your name and I shall not rest until I have crushed all of your foes!" the hammer prattled on proudly. Celestia stared at the hammer, "You're a talking hammer..." it was more of a question than a remark, she was utterly unprepared for a situation like this and it only served to give her more questions than answers. "Most splendidly observed my dear. But I am many things more! I am a hammer, I am a tool, I am a weapon, I am an artist's feather, I am a pillar, I am destruction and construction at once, I am a lover... and right now I'm afraid I'm a distraction... again." Celestia's eyes shot up, the gnoll and Purple Haze were nowhere to be seen, only three bloodied knifes were lying on the ground before her. "I don't believe this..." Celestia said with a blank expression on her face. "Sorry..." the hammer offered. After a moment of silence it spoke up again, "By chance, could you help me with my mustache? It seems I smeared it a bit during my work..." Celestia eyed it with a glare, "Or maybe not... Perhaps later then? Over a cup of tea perhaps? And biscuits! Oh, I do love to see a cookie crumble! But don't even get me started on porcelain! It drives shudders down..." Princess Celestia put a hoof to her head and rubbed her temples, she was starting to get a headache. The hammer took no heed of her discomfort and instead continued to prattle on relentlessly. After all, he was the distraction. --- "I don't think the princess is going to be happy about us leaving her behind like that... " Purple Haze commented as she followed the gnoll down one of the streets. He had simply set off suddenly, and she had followed. "Celestia will be fine... Has Tag to keep company..." the gnoll replied as he followed his nose. "That's what I'm worried about. Where are we going anyway?" "Scar smells something much better than gators..." Scar said with hunger in his voice. He came to a stop, "There!" he pointed with a clawed hand towards a small shop, 'Donut Hut' was written in large letters on a sign on top of it. Purple Haze gave a chuckle, "I'll agree this beats alligator by lengths... Alright, we'll get a few but then we're heading straight back. I don't want to keep the princess waiting." --- The waiter looked up from behind his counter, it appeared two figures from hell had just entered his shop. "Can I... help you with anything?" he said while sweat ran down his brow. "Donuts... many donuts..." a deep voice grumbled at him. "A first aid kit would be nice too, if you have one." commented another, female voice.