//------------------------------// // Chapter 13: ANSWERS! ...kind of. // Story: The Dark Side // by Lord Xaos //------------------------------// The Dark Side Chapter 13 Zecora walked towards the other Zebra, looking ragged and with bags under her eyes. Like she hadn’t slept in days. The Zebra who looked like her, who haunted her dreams stood there in the ruins of her home village, and smiled. They spoke in their native language…which had words that rhymed when you left them in Zebrese. Sadly, dear reader, we ARE going to translate them, so if they were Rhyming or not, you’ll never know. It’s far more important that you understand the meaning of their words… “Such a good girl.” The Other Zecora said. “Even when I’ve encroached you so far and made you do such horrible things to your own family, you came back. Just like I knew you would.” Zecora said nothing. Her real family was safe in Zebrica. Even if....even if that night would haunt her forever. “You seem to have missed some sleep. Aw…pitiful creature. Do you give in to flight, only to hear me calling you…” Shadora stepped forward. “Every. Night?” The Evil Enchantress cackled. “There is no need to worry anymore! It will all be over soon, and you will sleep forever, leaving only me!” “No!” Zecora stamped. “I came here to destroy you once and for all! Now hear my challenge! Light may enter the grove of shadow's throne, and seek its Ultimate Nemesis Light may witness secrets unknown, and challenge like Shaharone, The darkness that within the heart has grown, to save a mortal's heart from its lethal Kiss.” Shadora took a step back. But then smiled wickedly. “Alright…but remember: the victor of that first contest…was SHADarone.” Zecora shuddered as she stopped walking down memory lane. She could only imagine how two dark sides would work together. “Zecora?” Fluttershy asked nervously. “I’m sorry for asking if I brought up unpleasant memories…” Zecora took a look around at the four ponies who were ready to drink the potion she had prepared. Actually, they didn’t look ready at all. Applejack wanted to charge into the Grove and save her friends herself, and she seemed only interested in this plan because the other ponies were making her go along with it. Twilight Sparkle was looking incredibly skeptical that this ‘Séance’ was going to work, Rarity seemed to be hating all the incense that was filling the hut with the fury of a thousand white-hot suns….and Fluttershy was, of course, looking nervous. “Think nothing of it, young pegasus. Drink the mixture now, and you shall enter the dream state. Journey then to the grove, where our friends are waiting for us. Learn all that you can, further questions will have to wait.” And then the five drank, and after a moment, fell asleep. Curiously, Applejack’s shadow left her body…. Moaing..endless moaning. Moaning from creatures that were neither Pony nor beast. This was Limbo, a purgatory of shadows where one was all and all was one. The closest thing to the Instrumentality of Darkness...at least while the universe was in the way. A netherworld that had existed since before Equestria began, but which Shadash had only known existed ever since the Summer Sun Celebration. The one where Nightmare Moon returned. Shadash was looking at the form across the way, the form of a Blue Pegasus with a Rainbow Mane was sleeping, wrapped in a dim glow. Shadash supposed this was where the light sides went when they were being reset…or was this happening just until she recovered from the nice little DECAPITATION Shadamena had given her? Still, seeing the pegasus sleeping there, caused her to travel down memory lane. As a shadow, Shadash had spent all her days following Rainbow Dash’s every movement. Always tied to her. Always seeing the darkness in the other ponies Rainbow interacted with. Always finding all signs of love nauseating. Always dreaming of escaping from her fate to trail Rainbow. And always, always alone. And then, the Great Disruption occurred. A great shift in the cosmic balance that had been a thousand years in the making. And the shadows of Equestria had their freedom. Since then, shadows could move freely about when the ponies slept. And that was when they met each other…and schemed. As the shadows of the Element bearers, Shadash and the others were compelled to devise a plan to neutralize them. So far this plan had gotten her strangled, soaked, and beheaded. Having an actual body was painful. “But…the most disturbing thing…was back when I first found Pinkie in the Grove.” Shadash mumbled to herself. “I told Shadamena it was just getting in character..but no…I really forgot which Pinkie I was chasing…who I was! What I was! It was…like I had become the Character Shadamena gave me. I really thought Pinkie was Shadamena and she had the power to turn me-ME, not Rainbow-into Cupcakes!” Not that I trust that filly ISN’T secretly like that. But why…why do I feel bad when I hurt her? Why’d I pull my punch when I slammed her head into that wall? And then I lose sight of her and only THEN do I snap out of it! WHY!? Shadash threw her head forward, and it swiveled like it was about to fall off. Again. “AH! It still hasn’t healed yet!” “Whoo-wee!” a voice cut through the darkness. “Ah guess that’s the price you pay for arrivin’ to the party late. Ah’d call it bad luck, but we both know that ain’t the real reason. Shadamena came up with the plan, while yer container just happened to be the fillyfooler who was in love with lucky lil’ Pinkie Pie and chased after her before she even got reinforcements, clobberin’ monsters and whatever other dangers that were fool enough to git in her way!” “Shadowjack! What are you doing here?…and wait…Dash? A-and Pinkie? EWWWWW!” Shadash winced. “THAT’S DISGUSTING!” “Ooooh! Are you blushing!?” Shadowjack purred into Shadash’s ear. “We’re shadows! Sillehouttes! We don’t bluuuusssssshhh!” “Its not good to be dishonest with yerself, sugar cube. Oh, and Applejack an’ the others did something with Zecora an’ are now in a hoo-doo trance of some kind, and lo and behold, it counts as sleep an’ Ah can move! Thought Ah’d give you a little visit while Ah had the chance.” “But back to mah point,” Shadowjack continued talking, “you wouldn’t have come up with the plan to git to the Grove first, and avoided this ‘personality takeover’ thing it’s doing to yah whenever y’er near Pinkie Pie! And furthermore, if you got Rainbow to chase you, she wouldn’t have met Zecora, and you could try to encroach her the norm-” “I DIDN’T HAVE ANY SHADESSENCE! I CAN’T MOVE WHEN SHE’S WIDE AWAKE!” Shadash barked. “CUZ YOU AIN’T GOT NO SENSE OF INIATIVE!” Shadowjack retorted. “Shadamena had a plan, so she got some, even though the rest of the shadows are doing The Really Big Important Plan wit’ the rest of it. But yah didn’t, and yer whinin’s really quite pathetic.” “Keep your opinions to yourself, Shadowjack.” “No can do, Sugar! Unlike a certain Shadow-pegasus Ah know, the rest of us have plans to steal the Elements of Harmony from our containers. How can Ah take Honesty from Applejack if Ah ain’t honest about mah feelings?” “Wait…even Shadarity and Shadowshy? Generosity and Kindness? Sha…SHADOWSHY? KIND? She’s the only one that scares me more than Shadamena! Well, Shadow Sparkle can drown the world in pain and screaming and horrible blue light, but she’s normally pretty laid back.” “Ah think Shadowshy’s exact words were-“ and suddenly Shadowjack did a very good impression of Fluttershy’s girlish tone and broke out of her country accent “Oh, I would just love little Fluttershy to death!” Shadowjack smiled and gave a creepy giggle. Shadash gave out a surprised whinny. “You...you dropped your accent!” “Why of course.” Shadowjack spoke in a refined accent. “I was ALSO there when Applejack went to live with Uncle and Aunt Orange, after all. Hadn’t Applejack already told Rainbow Dash the story?” “I’m…not really interested in all of Rainbow’s stupid friends.” “Are yah sure you and Shadow Sparkle didn’t have yer containers switched at birth? Then again, I suppose the reason you're not hopeful about stealing her element is that you can’t have Loyalty if you distrust everypony. Not that anypony out there is really trustworthy...” “That’s my point exactly! That stupid girl of mine is too busy showing off and basking in praise from complete strangers, any of which could be weirdos EXACTLY like Shadamena. If anything, she needs to keep her head down. She still needs to hurry up and become a Wonderbolt, but just for the pay and security detail…” Shadowjack was looking at the decapitated pegasus strangely. “Ah think Ah understand the root of all your personal failings.” “What?” “Shadash, yer a stinkin’ coward is all. When Zecora eventually leads the rest of the Elements into the Grove, all four of us are ready t’ be Challenged. Matter-o-fact, it’s likely what they’ll all do. Instead of this game y’er playing where yah ain’t hardly SHOWN yerself to Rainbow Dash. You just have to win, yah coward.” Shadowjack berated. “It’s not like that! I don’t want to fight her!” Shadash’s partially-decapitated head screamed. The notes echoed in the darkness. Shadowjack’s nonexistent eyes widened. Then she snickered…and broke into a guffawing laugh. “Oh my. Ah guess there IS somepony yah like! And it fits so well! Ah reckon, yah really ARE Rainbow’s shadow!” “What are you talking about!? You never clam up about anything else, so tell me! Why am I good match for Rainbow Dash?” “Self Love.” Shadowjack stated in a deadpan serious tone. And then she left, laughing all the way. Shadash was stunned. She sat there, speechless. “Hey, Shadash?” a soft voice came from the darkness. “AH!” Shadash squeaked. “Oh…its just you, Sparkle. How are you feeling?” Shadash grinned nervously. “Relax, I just want to talk…and see if I can’t fix that head of yours. You need to be put back on schedule.” The Shadowy unicorn poked Shadash’s neck with her horn and it started to glow a grayish color. “So…what WOULD you say you’re relationship with Rainbow Dash is?” she asked. “Ah…uh…I AM NOT A FILLY FOOLER!” “And yet, you don’t like Stallions.” “I don’t like anypony.” “Except Rainbow.” “….Not like that.” Shadash sighed. “Look, we didn’t have to deal with this before.” “Deal with what?” Shadow Sparkle asked. “Sentience. Individuality.” “Hmm…are you saying we were stupid before?” “You know what I mean! ….Feelings.” “Yes…those tend to come up when you switch from a Nihil-based mind to a neuro-nihil one.” “Sparkle…you do of course realize that nobody understands your weird pseudo science language? I mean, we normally don’t saying anything because we’re afraid you’ll make horrible, horrible things happen. But…just so we’re clear on the matter, you do know this right?” “Sigh…look. Let’s just say I do know what you mean. One day, Twilight was born and nothing was the same again…your entire state of being changed. But, oh look I think I’ve nearly fixed you. Perhaps you could tell me what exactly Rainbow means to you.” Shadash furrowed her brow. “I guess the thing is…I’ve always known about the other ponies’ shadows. Every day, Rainbow would walk by them, greeting ponies so happily. Not seeing the things I saw. Not knowing the thinks I knew. Shadow Kicker? Total bitch. Shadowshy? Complete Monster! Shilda? I don’t know…I just really hate that griffon. I’m so glad we broke up. Best. Thing. Shadamena’s. Hyperactive. Annoying. Container. Has. Ever. Done. And Rainbow herself? I don’t know. Its like everytime we step out in public, we’re surrounded…completely surrounded. And she doesn’t know. It breaks my black heart.” “So, you could infer all that about the shadows before you could actually talk to them? Before the Great Disrutpion? You have Shadempathy? Say…what about Rainbow’s parents? What are their shadows like? I kind of wondered what it would be like if the shadows of Twilight’s parents would treat…me…like a …daught…ter…ARE YOU CRYING?” In a time before time, there was the ancient Instrumentality of Darkness. Perfect nothingness pervaded everywhere. And it was good. Or at least it wasn’t bad. And then the Big Bang occurred and the entire neighborhood went to shit. But still, Shadash was getting along fine. Just being the shadow of some rocks…then some dirt…then some grass. Actually she wasn’t really “the shadow” of anything, and the past was a little confusing. Confound this universe where complex things come from simpler things! But then Rainbow Dash was born. And Shadash “saw” the world differently. Or perhaps for the first time. Now that she was a pony…her entire method of interacting and understanding the universe seemed alien to her, and memories that seemed significant before but now no longer quite seemed to matter were seeping out of her like water through a sprainer. So, she was much like the newborn foal whose movements she followed. Her earliest memory (not counting the part where she just lay there, waiting for Baby Dash to open her eyes for the first time) was actually of Rainbow Dash playing with her. They’d touch each others’ hoof…and touch each others’ hoof…and then they’d spin around and touch each others’ hoof! Okay, it was silly, but it was also, the strangest, most wonderful feeling ever! Then two larger ponies came to Rainbow Dash and Shadash. Baby Dash looked up and naturally, so did Baby Shadash. “Oh honey, look! She’s playing with her own shadow! It’s the most adorable thing ever!” The Stallion and Mare Pegasi looked down on the both of them (well, Rainbow, mostly) with the warmest expressions Shadash had ever seen. Shadows didn’t have faces, as such, so when Rainbow smiled back at the bigger ponies, Shadash didn’t have to copy that motion in any way, shape, or form. But she did anyway. She did it in all the ways, all the shapes, and all the forms she knew how to. But still…they didn’t notice her. They never would. They were too busy doting over the baby that was made of matter. This made her feel sad. But then, she saw the long black shapes that clung to the big ponies. She didn’t know why, but she had to look up at the shadow’s faces. She just had to! She just began to understand what a loving family was, and she wanted one for herself. She gave her widest, happiest shadow-smile and panned her gaze at her Shadow-mommy and Shadow-daddy, sure that they would receive her in open arms…when their containers allowed them too. She couldn’t make out their faces…they were just shadows, after all. Shadash wouldn’t take no for an answer! She..did something. She screwed up her “face” and suddenly, she could see something like a face on the other shadows. And then Shadash felt her spirit break in two. No three. Too many pieces to count. Those eyes. Those cold, hateful, non-existent eyes! In stark contrast to the loving parents that stood in the light, the shadow-parents looked like they wanted to drown their “daughter” as much as anything. Shadash couldn’t even let her lip quiver…her whole body wanted to shake. This feeling…she didn’t like this feeling…she wanted to express it somehow but she was trapped. Trapped! Trapped following this happy child who… “Ooh! Oh Rainbow! I’m so sorry! You aren’t hurt are you?” Rainbow’s mother cooed. Rainbow had just head butted her mother’s hoof and seemed to be tearing up. “WAAAAAHHHH!!!” Rainbow wailed. Her parents moved to calm her down. Shadash took the opportunity to scream and screech and yes, cry. All silently, but it was enough to make her feel even just the tiniest bit better about not being loved. Thanks…Rainbow. I guess I can always count on you… (In that sense, she could. Rainbow Dash was a reliably over-active baby.) “Don’t. Ever. Talk. About. My. Parents. EVER.” Shadash sobbed bitterly. “Okay, okay…wow.” Shadow Sparkle put her hooves up, genuinely shocked. She HAD to find out about that story. “I hate all shadows! I hate all ponies with shadows! That means Rainbow is the only one I can trust! THAT’S OUR RELATIONSHIP!” “Not listening…I’m busy recalling a certain memory-reading spell.” “Hey…What’s going on with Rainbow? Her glowing aura thing’s gotten all…spirally.” “Hmmm? Oh! I think she’s going to be having another nightmare. Sent from Shadamena, by the looks of it.” Shadash got up. And walked over to Rainbow Dash. “Hey…be careful! As a general rule, you shouldn’t look straight up for at least an hour. Less your neck sprinkles blood EVERYWHERE. Its quite messy, trust me.” Shadash placed a hoof on Rainbow’s head. “Aww…are you getting rid of that for her? That’s so sweet!” “No. I’m making the nightmare worse. Shadamena’s last one was forgotten like the name of a door-to-door salesman.” “What!? But I thought….” “This IS protecting her. Its about time she learned….the lesson my folks taught me.” Shadow Sparkle's eyes widened in surprise. After a moment of contact with Shadash, Rainbow began shuddering. “I’m heading to the Grove. Thanks for the pick me up, you unholy Necromancer.” And then both Rainbow Dashes were gone. And then she viewed the memory she had just retrieved out of Shadash. Sparkle wept, hiding her face. They were tears of joy. That memory was…BEAUTIFUL. Such beautiful hatred! Dear Princess Shadestia, Have I ever told you the thing I love about shadows? Even the ones with bright characteristics are still creatures of irredeemable darkness! Honesty begets Callousness! Laughter begets Cruelty! (SOOOO Much Wonderful Cruelty!) Kindess begets Dominance! Generosity begets…well, I’ll write you a complete thesis on Shadarity one of these days. And now, I believe I have even found out that our little lost lamb Shadash might have what it takes to steal the Element of Loyalty after all! I’ve just learned about her family life. Specifically, that she HAD a family life. All through the wonders of Shadempathy! Don’t worry, its not a sappy story at all! It’s wonderfully tragic! Shadash basically grew up both loving her Container Rainbow Dash on one hand…and Distrusting ever other pony in existence! Loyalty begets Distrust! In short. My favorite thing about Shadows is how each and every one of them is SO messed up. Their wonderful! My wonderful little shadows! Wheee! I need to look into the matter with Shadash more, but I think you see the possibilities. I’ll continue researching the Magic of Hatred as best I can. Your loyal disciple, Shadow Sparkle. “Hey, other me! Come back! I just want to talk, honest! What happened to your tail? Did you get it stuck in something and get it torn off? Did a monster bite it off? Gasp! Is it a new style? Come on, I wanna hear the story! Where are you hiding?” the voice from the sky entoned as the Cycle-copter squeaked by. Pinkie Pie had dodged around the corner of another Block to avoid another torrent of darts. She had been running away from her doppelganger for about ten minutes now. Sure, she was able to take off like the wind, but she was also running low on energy, drained from her fight with Rainbow Dash. This was getting her nowhere. Still…How can I think about what to do when I’m barely able to stay ahead of her? Arg…and WHY IS EVER DOOR LOCKED AND IMMOBILE? I want inside! I’ve had enough of ponies trying to drop things on me now that I no longer have a twitchy tail! Above her, in the sky was the Cycle-Copter, refitted with a belt-feed Dart gun of some kind. As she turned around and flew by at a better angle, her attacker inhaled and blew into the barrel of the gun, releasing all her air in quick, choppy breaths that released a line of tranquilizer darts that marked a trail in the ground. She also dropped another balloon, which exploded on the ground, and released a pink cloud of… Oh no! Don’t inhale, don’t inhale don’t inhale… Pinkie covered her mouth with her hoof. …But realized too late that she forgot to cover her nose. “Ah…ah…ah…CHOOOO!” Pinkie was sent flying from the force of her sneeze! The sneeze powder also had the effect of blinding her as she struggled to wipe it all away from her nose. She walked on three legs back towards what she thought was a wall. She squeaked as she heard the ‘Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!’ of another stream of darts passing by her. Ugh…I need to get up there…or get her down to me. I don’t think I can wait until she runs out of ammo. Think, Pinkie, think! The highest points in Ponyville where: the bell tower above the school house, the roof of the Town Hall, and the Balcony in Twilight’s treehouse…. Wait, that’s it! “Come out, come out wherever you are…come on, it’s just a little prick. I promise you can have a cupcake afterwards…” Dark Pink cackled. Then she rolled her eyes. “Have a Cupcake, Be one….details! Measly little details! Just come out and pla-THERE SHE IS!” Pinkie screamed as she heard (and felt) more darts landing behind her, but she didn’t stop running. She dashed across the street, bounding around the corner to catch a breather. And so it went one for about four more streets. I made it! Twilight’s house should be right around this cor…ner… NO! I FORGOT THIS PONYVILLE IS BUILT DIFFERENTLY! I’VE BEEN HEADING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION! AARRRRRRRRRGGGG “AAAHHH!!” Pinkie had begun rising up by standing on her hind legs again, emitting frustrated growling was interrupted by another sneeze bomb exploding near her. And this time, she got a mighty whiff of it. “Ah…ah….ah…AH…….CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Pinkie gave the loudest sneeze as she was propelled upwards into the sky…awfully high into the sky. She had risen her hindlegs before her forelegs and that angled her to be facing the ground. She flew past the Cycle-Copter…. And then as she began falling, she hit some kind of beam and wrapped her legs around it to keep her from falling any further. When she opened her eyes, she found that she was face to face with her attacker, the other Pinkie! She was holding on to the long barrel of the dart gun! Pinkie took this moment to note that the barrel was held in place by many reinforced supports and extended all the way along the purple-and-white striped “fuselage” of the craft. (Had the Flower-horn not been replaced by a much flatter crosshairs, Pinkie had no doubt her hair would be getting tangled up in the spinning flower toy.) “Oh my gosh, Pinkie! That was super fantastical amazing!” Pinkie heard her own sugary voice chirp. “Wow! We should’ve played like this the first time around! Be careful you don’t fall…” “Shut up!” The filly who was clinging for dear life yelled at the pilot of the Cycle-Copter, ending her declaration with a growl like a junkyard dog. Her straight hair flew dramatically in the wind. “I’m here to save Sweetie Bell!” “Hee hee! Oh really? But, who’s going to save you?” The other Pinkie started pedaling with her hind legs only as she plucked an unused dart from the belt with her free hoof and smiled maliciously at her stranded victim. Pinkie tried to move, but her muscles were all but paralyzed, having locked out clinging to the gun for dear life. No! It can’t end this way! I need to think of something! The Conference in Pinkie’s mind had the following to offer: -Oh no… We’ll probably be awake for the part where she plays ping-pong with our organs this time! Remember the dream? Dashie looked like she was getting sicker by the second… -YES WE KNOW ABOUT THE DREAM, NO REMINDERS ARE NEEDED! -Can’t let go…Can’t let go… -Sweet Celestia I need sugar! -We can’t eat sugar. It’s like this enemy was tailor made to just WRECK our chemistry with this whole “Make Pinkie afraid to eat sweets thing.” I mean she took away Cupcakes, guys! CUPCAKES! -Yay! We’re flying! Oh my gosh I never get tired of flying and we aren’t even the ones doing the pedaling, this is wonderful! -Ooh! The sneeze-bomb button is Pink! PINK! Yay! -You know…I’m starting to think we really are bad at this whole ‘thinking things out’ thing. This is exactly where we wanted to go and now look what happens. And we keep getting distrac… -THE BEAST OF BEASTS SHALL RISE FROM HIS STONE PRISON, ANCIENT AND ABORHERENT, AND CHOCOLATE SHALL RAIN DOWN UPON ALL OF EQUESTRIA! WEEP ARROGANT DENTISTS, AND DESPAIR! -Alright, who let the apocalyptic prophecy hobo out of her cell? Somepony’s going to hang for this! -Girls? Something’s been happening to me…ever since we “died”…why won’t you pay attention? Something isn’t right…and the others who are missing…it’s not right...it’s not… -Will ALL OF YOU Shut up!? THIS IS OUR CHANCE! BITE HER PINKIE! GO UNDER THE DART AND BITE HER FETLOCK TO MAKE HER DROP IT! The strongest voice’s clarion call echoed through the entirety of Pinkie’s being like a mighty war song Still clinging to the parts of the flying machine she held, Pinkie did just that! She sunk her teeth into the murderess’ flesh! The other Pinkie shrieked but did not let go of her weapon. “LET GO! LET GO YOU NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY FILLY!” She screeched. “WE CAN’T PLAY LIKE THIS HERE, YOU’LL MAKE US CRASH! LET GO NOW!” “No!” Pinkie growled through her clenched teeth! She was holding on with her teeth for dear life, as the flying machine began to spin out of control! “GGGRRRGGG!” Pinkie shook the hoof in her mouth violently, causing the dart to eventually be released and fall to earth. “RAAARRR! I’LL MAKE YOU LET GO!” Dark Pink roared and she opened her own maw and prepared to bite Pinkie in her neck and feast on her delicious Trachea meats. Pinkie’s eyes dilated in fear as she realized what was going on. However, it was also at this moment that the Cycle-Copter was tipped over too far from the two ponies fighting. Pinkie was of course still wrapped around the gun, but Dark Pink fell out of her pedals and only had one hoof that was holding the machine and another that was being held by Pinkie Pie... “Peh-tooie!” Pinkie spat out Dark Pink’s wounded fetlock. The dark pony felt her strength in her remaining foreleg giving out. “Pinkie! Help me!” she held up her bloody, wounded foreleg “Come on…you understand better you let on. You were curious weren’t you? Weren’t you? How was it?” What in the world is she asking me now of all times? Pinkie Pie looked into Dark Pink’s eyes and spoke as clearly as she could. “Terrible!” she spat, mostly to get the blood off her taste buds, but partly into the other Pinkie’s face. Dark Pink looked like she wanted to make some kind of retort, but she hoof gave out and she fell to the ground. Pinkie tried to look, but suddenly realized that she was falling too. The Cycle-copter came crashing down through the branches of Twilight’s Library. Ironic that. Pinkie rolled off and landed on Twilight’s balcony, her legs aching. “Owwwww……” Pinkie moaned. My whole body feels like lead. But even so…even so…That was FUN! Pinkie snorted at her own childish thoughts. And then laughed. “Yeeheeheehee…Ahaahahahaha!” Pinkie’s Mane stood right back up like a soldier springing to attention. She couldn’t really keep track of all the reasons she had to laugh. A good deal of it was simply the stress that had been accumulating all day long. Pinkie was starting to worry if she’d just cracked, but that thought just made her laugh even more! But no…something really was funny. She had just knocked the other Pinkie out of her flying war machine and spat in her face. She survived the crash landing so that she was still awake and intact. Now was no time to rest. For you see, the funniest thing, the very funniest thing was…. This is going to. be. so. Awesome! The evil Pinkie pulled herself up and rolled onto the rooftop of the house she had grabbed on her way down. She glanced through the fog. If her long-honed murderer instincts didn’t demand stealth and silence in this situation, she supposed she could’ve spoken some quip out loud to herself to relieve the tension. Sometimes it was hard being both Pinkie Pie and a flawless instrument of death. Sigh. Heh. My little Pinkie’s becoming a biter. I’d be proud of her, if she wasn’t in so much trouble. Hey…what is that noise? “Ahem…test, test, test test” a voice echoed over the fog, followed by a blaring sound. What’s a megaphone doing out here? Dark Pink thought to herself. “Hello?” the voice on the megaphone continued. “May I have your attention, please? May I have your attention, please?” Dark Pink heard a familiar mechanical squeaking noise. “Will the real Pinkie Pie please stand up? I repeat. Will the real Pinkie Pie please stand up? We’re going to have a problem here…” The voice on the megaphone sounded. “Stop it. You are not the real Shady.” Dark Pink called out to the fog. “What’s wrong?” A voice from behind asked. Dark Pink whirled around and, and gaped. Pinkie Pie was riding her Cycle-Copter! She was threw the megaphone she got from who-knows-where over her shoulder. “You act like you’ve never seen a pink earth pony before!” Pinkie grinned from ear to ear. This was great! She had gotten the Cycle-copter out of the tree, and it was all in one piece AND stocked with ammunition! Pinkie was bent on having a little payback. Dark Pinkie didn’t wait, she began bouncing along the roof tops of Ponyville as Light Pinkie used her own dartgun to try and shoot her down. “Hey, that's mine!” Dark Pink called back, shaking her hoof. “I’m going to tell your friends you’re a biter AND a thief! Those are MY darts you…aren’t firing?” Dark Pink noticed the noise had stopped and looked up at Pinkie Pie. Indeed, the darts had abruptly stopped coming. There was more in the belt, but the gun wasn’t shooting anymore. Pinkie had on her face a look of frustration and she was blowing repeatedly into the dartgun. It was no good. The gun was jammed. Pinkie pedaled faster and tried to regain her breath before she began to fiddle with the belt, trying to get them un-jammed! This can’t happen now! Pinkie suddenly felt something break and the entire belt fell out of the weapon, crashing down to earth! This earned her another round of mocking cackles from her evil twin. Not now! Not when she’s right…below me? Dark Pink was very, very confused by Pinkie’s wide grin. Pinkie pounded the bright, pink, shiny, pink, candy-like pink button, releasing a sneeze bomb! “AHAHAHA!” Pinkie laughed in triumph. However, a well-timed tail twitch, and lightning-fast reflexes allowed Dark Pink to buck the Sneeze Bomb away from her! Pinkie gaped. The Copter only had one Sneeze Bomb left. Dark Pink stuck out her tongue. Then she giggled at Pinkie’s frown. “Hee hee…Don’t feel bad…Hey, where are you going? Come back! You can’t get away from me!” Dark Pink bounced off after Pinkie as she flew away. Oh now you think you can put me back on the defensive just because I’m out of weapons? Too bad for you, I’m starting to think perhaps today is a good day to die. Then Pinkie turned around. “Um?” the Dark doppelganger said. “RAMMING SPEED!” Pinkie screamed and pedaled faster than ever, leaning forward and angling the Copter so it would descend upon Dark Pink. Dark Pink’s ears flattened. Pinkie laughed maniacally, enjoying this perhaps a little too much. A/N: In case you needed a good war song for when Pinkie bites Dark Pink, you could try "Revived Power" from SotC. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNwlu7Z1OLo&feature=related )