Phase 2: The Signing
The day started fresh and sunny at Sweet Apple Acres. Our country orange filly awakes calmly and lifts a hoof to tap her early yawns. Applejack cleared her eyes and slowly gained consciousness. The signing is today and she will follow the plan she elaborated last night. Applejack got off bed and headed to the bathroom to ready up. She brushed her teeth twice as hard, she took a shower with a special soap made of honey and almonds, to improve the smoothness on her coat, courtesy of Granny Smith.
“Today we are kicking some diamond flanks!”
Once Applejack was done with her hot shower she went down stairs and met with a feast of pancakes and jars of zap apple jelly, accompanied with a jar filled with recently made apple juice. The breakfast was courtesy of Big Macintosh and Applebloom.
“Gee thanks Big Mac and Applebloom! This was faaantastic!”
With a satisfied belly, Applejack carried on with the last step. Granny Smith and Applebloom were waiting in her bedroom with a case full of makeup. Granny applied lash growth to make her eyelashes look longer and more appealing, while Applebloom powdered Applejack’s nose and the eyelids, she also hid every freckle on her face. Finally they brushed Applejack’s mane and organized it into a pouf manestyle with one red flower as ornamentation. Applejack looked herself in the mirror and gasped with happiness.
“I look beautiful! Thank y’all!”
“Don’t mention it sweetie, just make sure to bring ‘s those 70 bits weekly!”
Applejack smiled a little embarrassed and went to hug Granny, then she lowered and patted Applebloom on the head.
“I will do my best Granny, I promise!”
Big Mac cleared his throat loudly as if calling for some attention too. With this heard she hugs Big Mac and kisses him in the cheek, she didn’t want to degrade his help or anything of the sort.
“Of course I haven’t forgotten ya mah big brother!”
“Eeyup!”
Big Macintosh smiled with pride and motioned her to leave already. Applejack grabbed the annotations she made while studying last night and fitted them in a saddlebag. Now she is all set to apply for the job as an educator. Not only she looks wonderful and possesses a professional looking manestyle, she is good with youngsters of all ages and she is knowledgeable enough for the job. With this being a reality, she galloped towards the sign-in station.
As she traveled she considered and re-considered the signing. She was going for a job in a very fine institution that hires their employees for their intelligence and every pony will most likely try to apply to the job too.
And they will select Applejack among every pony…
“I ain’t too sure to be ready for this…”
Applejack looks over her body uncertainly. She looks great, she can be the most experienced young one in Ponyville, but experienced enough to be a teacher? Not any teacher but a professional educator.
“What was I thinking? We are talking about ponies of the level of Twilight!” Applejack shook her head violently when the thought of Rarity popped in “I remember I went to begin a sophisticated life in Manehattan as a young filly” Applejack remembered her few days in the big city, how different and fast it was from her current life. “Uncle and Aunt Orange taught me the basics of high society and educated me, but …”
Doubt hits Applejack. She slowed her pace until she stopped completely. She wasn’t sure if she should turn back or keep going. Her heart pushed her to keep going but her brain said the opposite, losing to Rarity was an unconceivable event and she must avoid it at all cost. Applejack fought the urge to turn back home and delay the signing for a couple of days, she didn’t need the damn job anyway. But this isn’t her, the reason she didn’t turn back is because of her perseverance. She is an Apple, a brave Apple.
“I’ll be damned if I turn back on my family naw, I just promised to Granny Smith!”
Not even once she turned down a promise, what is left to do is go to the signing and kick Rarity's flanks, or take defeat with honor and suppress the need to choke Rarity. Applejack resumed her plan and trotted towards the station, never looking back again or doubting.
When Applejack was about to arrive, the sound of an uproar and a glimpse of the situation ahead made her drop her jaw to chest level.
“What in TARNATION?!”
It was difficult for her to explain what the motive of her surprise was. It could have been this new huge building that wasn’t there yesterday or the line of a hundred ponies that were prying the double doors. Applejack eyed the place, she took a deep breath and let her mind naturally say something about the situation.
“… Darn it!”
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Land Conquistador is excited and rejuvenated with his new title as headmaster, just looking outside chisels a wide smile on his face. Land took a moment to admire his surroundings. A fine wood desk, a mini library with books of all subjects, a magical coffee maker, a regal rug, a synthetic triple couch, and that is just his office. Out of these doors there is a crowd of ponies waiting to be tested.
The chaotic line outside had his heart jolly beating and his brain running on caffeine. He admired how varied was the line of ponies interested to be teachers. To his doorstep there were pegasus, unicorns and earth ponies of different colors, gender and physicals.
“Just look at all those potential educators!”
There wasn’t a single combination of traits missing in the line below. Land was having fun, but it’s time to get to business, he opened the highest drawer in his fancy desk and took a quill and paper. He checked every little box in the document, checking for the equipment and things he will be needing to perform the exams.
“Checked, checked, checked … Clan, are the employees prepared to take on the flock?”
The hooded pony tilted his ears in Land’s direction and nodded twice.
“Good, we can begin then! Please, can you give the order to open the main doors?” His friend frowned and formally answered.
“Why don’t you ask your bloody secretary?”
Land blinked for his rudeness, his eyes suddenly widened after he discerned the last word. A secretary, this just increased Land’s already enormous happiness, the princess agreed to all the specifications in the letter and beyond.
“An- and how do I call her?” Clan pointed to a golden reception bell over his desk. Land stared at it for a while unsure, Clan motioned him to subtly tap it with his hoof. Land thought about it.……
“For the love of …” Clan hoof slapped his face and stood from the couch, he violently crushed the bell causing Land to bring his hooves to his mouth and gravelly squeak. Immediately the door of the office opened bringing a professional looking mare inside. The mare came in ready for orders, but her expression changed to a confused embarrassed frown after seeing the headmaster coupled with some pony on the floor. Her mind ignored the reception bell they were struggling for and decided to think the worst. Her face lit red and softly apologized.
“Headmaster? I … I am sorry, I’ll be back later…”
“Wait!”
Land got up and fixed his tie, he approached her secretary and gave her an assuring smile.
“Pardon me, welcome to our fine institution miss … umm” Land looked on her secretary for any ID with her name on.
“Rose”
“Yes, Rose, welcome” Land fixed his tie again uncertain of what to say. “Could you please open the main doors and invite the ponies to come in?” Rose nodded and before she could turn Land added. “And please, provide some beverage and treats to the ponies while they wait”
“Of course headmaster” With this Rose slowly turned and headed out of the office. Clan provocatively whistled after the mare closed the door.
“I would ride those rosy flanks” Land frowned at his friend in disapproval.
“That’s it! You have done enough damage for a day, now go and hook up with any mares you find in your way and then bite them, strangle them, I don’t care. Just don’t mess with my employees!” Land finished his line while pointing at the window.
“Very well” Clan eventually got up the floor. He approached the window and took one last look back before flying out. “You might regret it” He launched his body into the air.
Land exhaustively sighed and went back to business.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Applejack looked in terror at the number of ponies present in the main doors. Each single one of them reduced her chances to beat Rarity today. Unfortunately she already made up her mind, she will go and take the test like every pony else, and she will do her best to succeed. Or she would fail and hopefully die in it. Applejack mustered all the courage the apples could provide and walked to the back of the disorganized line ahead. With her sight she recognized the first pony to go into the building. It is her friend Twilight, not surprising Twilight was the first in the line. Knowing her she probably was in line before the brochures were made.
“Great, naw I am competing for a job as a teacher against Twilight” Applejack thought the situation could not render any worse.
“Good day AJ!” Rarity suddenly showed behind and added more wrinkles on Applejack’s expression.
“Oh howdy, just the pony I wanted to see! (Insert thoughts too offensive to write down)” Rarity read Applejack’s face and backed off for safety. She shrugged it off and forcibly started a conversation.
“And to what reason you grant your presence in here today?” Applejack bit her cheeks and suppressed a reflex of attacking Rarity. She breathed deeply for about 5 seconds and muttered with a smile.
“I am here to sign as an educator. And to kick your ass if you don’t shut up!”
“I already knew that, I was messing with you, you can be so silly sometimes!”Rarity’s smile boiled in Applejack’s blood.
“I’ll mess that face of yours! Oh really? I will go inside now and you know, take the exam!” The line lost size very quickly, it allowed Applejack and Rarity to head inside. It needed very little to make Applejack’s mane to erupt as a volcano, fortunately she got a chance to part ways with Rarity when she headed inside.
Now that the moment was quieter, Applejack finally was able to see the building more clearly. It was a cylindrical structure being around ten feet tall. It had the flags of the three species waving on its top. Applejack looked at the flags with fear. She considers she has little chances against all these ponies. She shrugged it off, gulped and walked in.
“Let’s get this over with”
Applejack went in. The first thing she spotted was a crowd all talking at the same time, few words were understood that time. A mare with rose flanks came and silenced the crowd. She explained they would undergo a simple emotional and general knowledge test. She motioned with a hoof the first pony to come in. Twilight looks uneasy, but she did as told and walked to the testing room. Applejack imagined what exactly she would have to go through. Her legs trembled and she had a tiny panic attack. She decided to go for a slice of pie on the table nearby. “Yeah, food is the best right naw” It isn’t the best moment to eat, but Applejack needed something to calm her haunches, she could not take an emotional exam in that state. With time some ponies went inside and others came out, some with a confident expression and others with the common ‘I so flunked!’ face. Applejack’s nerves settled down and allowed her to think clearly, her turn will come very soon and she had to be ready. She isn’t giving up, she is giving a fight instead and will do her best to get the job and prove Rarity some personal things. Applejack realized her turn wouldn’t come so soon, after all she is the last in the line. She decided she will patiently wait.
.
.
.
After 4 cups of coffee, it was Rarity’s turn. Applejack watched how Rarity gave her a devious look and walked in. Applejack’s expression faded, it was her turn right after hers. She patted her chest and refused to drink more coffee, she would take the exam like a real mare. After 5 minutes, Rose called for Applejack’s name. Applejack breathed deeply and walked in.
“Let the best mare win …” She whispered.
The testing room looked sort of like a school nursery, a friendly looking stallion received her.
“Welcome, please rest your back here”
Applejack lied on a cushioned examination table. The stallion proceeds to check her heart beat with a stethoscope. He tested her reflexes, checked the inside of her ears with an unknown apparatus and tested her vision. He placed the stethoscope on her chest to check her respiration. He levitated a quill and paper and wrote down notes of it afterwards. He then gently added pressure in her muscles from the top of her head to the bottom, his hooves where searching for any anomaly in her anatomy. While he was examining her haunches, Applejack blushed and complained when he pushed a little too hard.
“Whoa, easy there fella!” The doctor looked at her surprised.
“Oh I am sorry, sometimes I forget about my patient! … Never mind it, we are almost over” Once the doctor finished with that, he used his magic to levitate a sphygmomanometer (Blood pressure gauge), he placed the cuff smoothly and snugly on Applejack’s upper foreleg and pumped the gauge with magic.
“You have a healthy blood pressure!” With his expertise the doctor knew how to speak friendly to his patients in order to ease them down. Behind Applejack’s head an air horn blasted loudly. Applejack was startled instantly by it and turned around to face it. The doctor had it levitating on her back and she frowned at him asking for an explanation “I am sorry, but is part of the emotional test” Applejack could see now why they are offering 70 bits for a week of work and what they meant with emotional test.
“Just be careful al’right Doc!” Doc nodded and proceeded to remove the sphygmomanometer. He levitated 4 electrodes coming from an electrocardiograph nearby. He located one in her neck, one in the chest and the rest on her wrists. Doc told her to lie down and stay still. Applejack did as told and relaxed on the examination table.
With the seconds passing, the room became so silent she could hear her heartbeats in the machine. Beep, beep, beep, beep, BAAANG!!!
Applejack jumped off from the bed and her eyes almost came out of her sockets, the electrodes sure did take off. Doc used the air horn again from which he apologized, but this time he was fighting a smile.
“I am sorry again, is for the emotional …” Doc had to hold his breath to avoid laughing. “Never mind, we are done here”
Applejack gave him a menacing look and walked towards the next room without taking her eyes of him.
The next room was a fine looking room with antique wood ornamentation on the walls, it didn’t fit the air conditioning vents in the ceiling very well. The room was filled with ponies sitting on desks and they were seemingly taking a test on paper. Some of them seemed desperate and others looked too confident with the test. Twilight Sparkle had a VERY messy mane and a maniac look on, she was writing incredibly fast and adding more pages to a bunch of 50 sheets she made.
“Test on paper? That just ain’t fair!”
Before Applejack could react she was given a pencil and an exam, courtesy of Rose.
“Please Applejack take a sit”
“Quick Rose, what’s this about?!” Rose explained the last part of the testing is a paper test.
“Easy Applejack, is not a hard test, you just have to write down your general knowledge about not very specific topics and any degree and mastery you own!”
Applejack was hit by panic again. She doesn’t possess very spectacular degrees, unless farming was considered a degree. She raised her head and looked into Rose’s eyes. They were assuring and sincere, she couldn’t really help her here. Applejack sighed loudly and went to take a sit. When she first saw the exam a feeling of relief calmed her haunches. It contained mostly yes/no questions and ‘select different answer’ questions. The last question was a particular one.
Write down any expertise you posses and any general knowledge that is considered productive.
“Now I see why the heck Twilight is writing so much, this question is way too big!”
Applejack held her pencil tight and began to write.
For her convenience she finished this test much faster than the examination with Doc, also this one didn’t include any unpleasant surprises, at least for her ears. She handed the exam to Rose as if it were to burn her. All she could do now was to wait for her pending failure and be humiliated in front of Rarity. She thought she didn’t have to show up here tomorrow to hear the results. She headed towards the exit.
“Applejack wher’you going? The results will be announced right now!”
“Ri-right now!?” Applejack almost fainted
Rose destroyed any hope of escape for Applejack when she said this. Applejack didn’t become a prey of panic, she will see the results and be ready to stand Rarity, besides, worst thing possible is that Rarity passed the test and Applejack didn’t. Her legs started shaking uncontrollably.
“Oh dear Celestia giv’ me strength!”
The crowd was informed to return to the main hall and wait for the results. Rose said she will mark with an X only the ponies that were accepted in the institution, the rest will take a leave with a short diagnosis obtained from Doc. In the main hall the tables with beverages were removed and there was a big white vertical board on the wall with the names of every pony written on it. The anticipation was killing the crowd, some ponies waited quietly while others resorted to violently shiver, bite their hoof nails and pray to Luna. After 5 long minutes, Rose came back from the headmaster’s office with a sheet of paper. She grabbed a green marker and began marking X’s on the board from top to bottom. Giant wails were heard in the crowd while very few yells of excitements muttered in the choleric noise.
Applejack opened her eyes and looked at Rarity. She was complaining angrily and shouting plenty of cussing. A smile expanded in Applejack’s face, now Rarity couldn’t brag about it. The ponies that were not accepted took their free diagnosis and gradually left after they were done whining. Less than ten ponies were now teachers and they stood victorious in the hall.
“Congratulations Applejack!” Twilight came forth out of nowhere and forcibly hugged her.
Applejack raised an eyebrow and asked in disbelief. “fo’ what? … No way!” Applejack galloped towards the board and searched for her name. Basically the last name on the board and it had a big green X in the square adjacent to it. Applejack had no words for this. She was picked over hundreds of ponies that were probably more experienced that she is.
A feeling of victory warmed her body and she knew what she had to do. She trotted to talk to Rarity. “Yo Rarity, nothing personal but IN YOUR FACE!” Rarity gave her a reproaching look.
Rose cut in their conversation and announced every pony that passed to head towards the headmaster’s office for a brief talk. He will receive them one by one. Applejack made sure to show Rarity her tongue before leaving as a universal sign of mockery. Rarity infuriated and without thinking it much she forced her way into the headmaster’s office. She stomped a hoof in his desk and demanded his attention.
“How dare you not accept moi? There isn’t most elegant pony in Ponyville!”
Headmaster land took his time and understood the situation.
“P-Pardon me?”
“Don’t fool me! Why wouldn’t you accept Rarity?!”
“Rarity?” Land searched in the documents present on his desk for a pony named Rarity. When he found it he put on his reading glasses and read the reason of failure. “Shows hypertension, is easily annoyed, doesn’t listen to others, possesses poor self control, poor objectivity, shows clear signs of materialism, wrong notions of life, not a productive degree for teaching nor any useful knowledge for the same act, should I go on?”
Rarity gasped and spoke dramatically “What? But, but you accepted her!”She pointed at Applejack. Applejack didn’t like to be introduced in such tense talking, especially with her new boss.
“Ah Applejack! She demonstrated very nice traits to be an educator. She is one of a kind!”
Applejack smiled and blushed with embarrassment. Rarity kept pushing and giving baseless reasons of why she was up to the task. Land slowly took off his glasses and looked at her menacingly, he was not enjoying this unreasonable conversation and he opted to end it.
“Miss Rarity, the fact that you are still discussing with me is a clear sign that you lack discipline” Land talked once and he didn’t need to talk again. Rarity’s face saddened, she turned around and slowly walked her way out. Applejack couldn’t help but feel pity for her.
“... Nah, buck it! I said I was kicking some diamond flanks today!” Applejack thought with apathy.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
The sun was brightly setting from land’s window. He looked outside from his office and smiled with the memories of teachers he selected today. He covered history, math, language, science of nature, magic school and chemistry in a single day, but he still needs a couch for physical education, one for flight school and a teacher for sexual education. The last one is a delicate one. The sound of the lock of the window opening startled him. He quickly turned to face Clan entering with his unnecessary clothing looking wasted.
“But look who’s here!” Land faked emotion. He then faced the paper in his desk and asked indirectly and uninterested “And how was your promiscuous pilgrimage?”
“Outstanding!”
“Oh yes? How many casualties exactly”
“Just one, a big one”
Land didn’t like the sound of it. Clan just went to mingle and re-mingle the mares in Ponyville, how could he possibly do any damage.
“And for curiosity only, who may that be?”
“The mayor”
Land giggled and asked him just in case. “Hahaha, but you don’t mean Mayor Mare, like the one in the city hall?”
“Hmmm … she had a grayish mane, blue eyes and her cutiemark looked like a toilet paper?”
“That’s a dammed ivory scroll you fool!” Land raised his hooves to his mane and scratched his head in frustration “Clandestine look at me, I cannot have a teacher in my institution while he is having sex with the mayor!”
“Calm down, what’s the worst that can happen?” Clan gave Land an assuring smile. Land rubbed his temples in circles and talked him over. He explained how delicate the situation was and how a mare with power can damage his institution or completely close it. He realized these words were entering in one ear and coming out the other, so he opted to speak in another matter.
“You better don’t fuck this up!” His temple veins looked about to pop. Clan gave him full attention and promised not to reveal he is a teacher in here or his address, or pretty much anything about him.
“Relax, bloody mare doesn’t even now my name!”
Land didn't trust him in this circumstances, but how he was already a couple with the mayor he can only leave it in Clan's hooves. Land breathed for a while and he let it go. “Whatever, let me inform you we can begin classes very soon” Land shifted his face to a happy smile. This face rapidly vanished giving room to a worried one. “But we have a little problem in our hooves, named Cheerilee”
“I like problems” Clan said with a cocky smile.