//------------------------------// // The Farmer and the Viper // Story: The Last Equestrian Princess // by Dr_DeDeDe //------------------------------// The Farmer and the Viper One winter, a farmer found a viper frozen and numb from the cold. The farmer, a large and gentle pony, took pity on the poor creature and warmed it against his body. No sooner had the viper revived itself than it turned on the farmer, striking him in the neck and killing him. As he lay there, dying, his final words were… Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle, I am writing you with the intent of sincerely apologizing for losing my patience with you at Shining Armor’s memorial service this past weekend. I allowed the frustration I felt at the time to cloud my judgment and acted in a manner unbefitting of a princess of Equestria. For that, I apologize. Sincerely, Princess Celestia. Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle, It has been two weeks since we last spoke and I am beginning to wonder if there isn’t some problem with your mail service. While I don’t expect you to continue with your friendship reports in light of your coronation, I admit I was disappointed when I did not receive one this past week or the last. I would like to take this opportunity to reiterate my sincerest apologies for my response to your behavior at Shining Armor’s funeral. I am sorry that I cannot deliver this message in person but I’m sure you understand that a princess’ life can be busy. I look forward to your correspondence at your earliest convenience. Sincerely, Princess Celestia Dear Princess Twili Dear Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna has taken the liberty of informing me that my apologies are, in her words, “woefully subpar.” She also pointed out that you may be angry with me and these last few months of silence were deliberate on your part. What you need to realize is that The circumstances surrounding your brother’s I am not accustomed to Stress can manifest itself in different Cadence had insisted that Please give me a chance to explain myself to your satisfaction. I have some time blocked off in my schedule next week if a meeting in Canterlot would be agreeable to you. All my L- Sincerely, your faithful teacher Prin Celestia Twilight Sparkle, It is absolutely unfair that You are behaving like a I still expect you to obey me as your Six and a half months is more than enough time to We can never move past this if you aren’t willing to If you want me to grovel I miss y I can only say that I am sorry for what I have done to deserve this chilly response from you and ask that you please return my letters. Sincerely, Princess Celestia. P.S. Spike, if you could destroy the first few lines of this as discreetly as possible, I would be eternally grateful. Please give Twilight my best. I will not ask you to get in the middle of this tussle of ours but if you could let Twilight know that I would like to I would be very grateful if you could let Twilight know that I am sorry and that I miss her greatly and I will do anything she asks to make up for the way I treated her. Thank you Spike. P.P.S Incidentally, I ordered the forms you requested and we can set up a testing date as soon as you feel that you are ready. There is no pressure but they must be taken under my supervision and I have a diplomatic mission to Leovolans to meet with members of the Gryphonian Hierarchy in a month. I believe that you are close to being ready for these exams and a few more weeks of intensive study should finish your preparations. We are still on for next Thursday at the Canterlot Archives but please do not hesitate to contact me with questions or concerns. -PC Dear Princess Celestia, Kindly stop using Spike to convey your litany of messages. He is starting to get sick from belching up eight scrolls of ink and parchment a day. If you must insist on flooding my inbox, please do so through more conventional means that don’t affect Spike’s digestion. Princess Twilight Sparkle For eight and a half months after Shining Armor’s funeral, Twilight refused to speak a word to Princess Celestia. It was the longest the pair had gone without speaking to each other in the nearly twenty years they had known each other and if Twilight had her druthers, she could happily go another twenty years without speaking to her former mentor. After the third somewhat stilted apology letter she received from Canterlot about “a lack of grace” and “behavior unbefitting a princess,” Twilight had ceased opening the messages from Princess Celestia. Friendship reports went unfilled and unsent and after Twilight insisted that Princess Celestia stop using Spike as a go between, letters went straight from the mailbox into the fire, the recycle bin, or Owlicious’ bird cage. Twilight’s friends had long learned to stop asking after the princess as any mention of Celestia was enough to make her snippy and sullen for the rest of the afternoon and that was when they saw Twilight at all. In the wake of Cadence’s passing, Twilight stepped up and made good on her promise to watch over the Crystal Empire. She would board a train every Friday night to meet with the new Prime Minister and wouldn’t return until early Monday morning. Twilight worked nearly tirelessly to ease the transition between leaders and ease the fear caused by Cadence’s passing. Almost was the operative word as the signs of stress were becoming obvious on the heavily overworked Twilight. She missed days of sleep at a time, skipped meals and all but abandoned her social life. The only ponies she made time for were her five closest friends and even they saw less and less of Twilight as the months wore on. Daily lunches turned into weekly dinners which eventually turned into bi-weekly brunches. In this time, Spike grew two and a half feet in length, coming up to Twilight’s shoulders on all fours and standing a head taller than her on his hind legs. The gangly young dragon stepped into a larger role, managing Twilight’s appointments and ensuring the young princess remembered such trivial things as eating and sleeping. But despite Twilight’s numerous assurances that she was fine, Spike had known her long enough to know that she wasn’t holding up as well as she pretended to be. Twilight missed Princess Celestia. She missed having a mentor she could rely on. She missed the conversations about her studies they used to have. She missed having somepony to confide in when her self-imposed princess duties became overwhelming. But she was absolute in her refusal to contact the princess and once Twilight set her mind to something, she was unshakable in its defense. Spike knew that any attempt to coerce them into talking again would be fruitless; Princess Celestia was abroad, deep in negotiations with the gryphons and Twilight was fully invested in despising her former mentor. Nevertheless, he needed an excuse to get Twilight out of the limelight for some much needed R&R. So, when Fluttershy came to him for help with a project she was working on, Spike saw an opportunity for a vacation that was long overdue “Camping?” Twilight said. “Yes, siree!” Applejack said. “Three days, two nights spending time in the great outdoors!” “That’s pretty sudden.” Twilight said. “And you said everypony is going?” “Yep.” Applejack said. “Applebucking Season ain’t until next month and Rarity’s got her fall line all wrapped up. Rainbow and Pinkie got time off work too so we’re all heading out past the Everfree Forest this weekend for some summer fun!” “Well, to tell you the truth, it’s not really why we’re going.” Fluttershy said. “Part of my application is based on a research assignment so I’ve decided to study the-” “Application?” Twilight said. “What application?” “Um, the application to the Fillydelphia School of Veterinary Medicine.” Fluttershy said. “The one I told you I was filling out.” “You never told me that!” Twilight said. “I’m pretty sure I did.” Fluttershy said, scuffing the ground with her hoof. “Several times…three days ago…and then again yesterday at lunch.” “You even said you were excited for her.” Spike said. “Although now that I think of it, I’m pretty sure your exact words were “Uh huh, that’s great Fluttershy” and then went back to writing your speech for that public park dedication we did yesterday.” “Oh…right.” Twilight said guiltily. “Sorry, Fluttershy, I’ve had a lot on my plate lately.” “Yeah, Fluttershy’s gotta study the matin’ habits of some rainbow beaked snake bird-” “Actually, I’m studying the migratory patterns of the Feathered Prismatic Coatl.” Fluttershy said. “They flock north every summer when Tenocoltlan gets too hot to lay eggs and I thought it would be an interesting topic to do a paper on.” “Yeah, Fluttershy’s headin up for business and we all figured we’d tag along.” Applejack said. “So what d’ya say; are you in?” “It sounds like a great time, girls; really it does.” Twilight said, scratching the back of her neck. “And I would love to help you with your research but-” “We’ll be there!” Spike said. “Um, Spike...did you forget about the ribbon cutting I have at the Western Equestrian Librarian Convention?” Twilight said. “It’s been on my schedule for weeks now.” “Not anymore.” Spike said. “I canceled it.” “C-canceled it?!”Twilight squawked. “Wh-who gave you the right to cancel my appointments?!” “Uh…you did.” Spike said. “When you put me in charge of your schedule.” “But-!”Twilight squawked. “Wh-who’s going to cut the ribbon if I’m not there?!” “I’m sure there’s somepony in the city of Fillydelphia who can figure out how to operate a pair of scissors.” Spike said. “But I-I was supposed to bring the giant scissors!” Twilight said, producing a gigantic pair of scissors and brandishing them in Spike’s face. “How are they going to cut the giant ribbon without giant scissors?! You can’t just use regular scissors on a giant ribbon, Spike, that’s just crazy!” “Oh, that’s what’s crazy.” Spike said, stepping back from the distressed alicorn wielding giant office supplies. “Because this is the picture of sanity.” “But wh-what if they’re just waiting on me all day?!” Twilight said. “What if the convention never gets underway because I’m not there to cut the ribbon?! They’re depending on me, Spike! I have been charged with the sacred duty of commencing the events!” “You’ve been charged with a duty most kindergartners can perform without difficulty.” Spike said. “They’re going to think I’m a flake!” Twilight cried. “They probably already think I’m a flake; a big stupid royal flake who can’t even be counted on to cut a lousy ribbon!” “Twilight…” Spike said “What if they revoke my Western Equestrian Librarian Association Accreditation?” Twilight wailed. “What if they take away my membership?!” “Twilight!” Spike said. “If they take away my accreditation, I can’t call this a library anymore!” Twilight panted. “I have to change the name to the Ponyville Public Book Barn! Do you know what that means?!” “Uh…” Fluttershy said, looking nervously at Spike. “Sh-should I?” “If this isn’t a library then I can’t call myself a librarian anymore!” Twilight said. “I-I’ll be demoted to a lowly bookmonger!” “Twilight!” Spike yelled. “I don’t want to be a bookmonger, Spike!” Twilight sobbed. “Not again; never again! I promised myself I’d never monger books another day in my-” In one move, Spike whipped a blanket off a nearby armchair and threw it over Twilight’s head. With one hand, he took hold of her wings to keep her from struggling and gently rubbed the top of Twilight’s head with the other. “Shhhh.” Spike said, gently papping her nose. “Easy girl…settle down now.” Twilight struggled for a few moments, rearing back and whinnying, but Spike kept a gentle grip on her to make sure she didn’t thrash about too much. Finally Twilight lay still, letting Spike run his hands up and down her neck. “Feeling better?” Spike asked. The lump of blankets replied with a nod. “You ready to let go now?” Another nod. Spike let go and Twilight wriggled her way out from under the blanket. “Thank you Spike…I needed that.” “Anytime.” Spike said. “I’m...uh...sorry you had to see that, girls.” Twilight said to her bewildered friends. “I’m not even sure what that was.” Fluttershy said. “It’s a primal calming technique that has roots in our evolutionary ancestors.” Twilight said, straightening her mane. “I find it helpful in…trying situations.” “You want a sugarcube?” Spike said soothingly, producing a box from the kitchen. “No, Spike, I think I can manage without the sugarcube today.” Twilight said. “…you want a sugarcube, don’t you?” Spike said. “Just the one.” Twilight admitted, taking the offered sugarcube from Spike’s hand and sucking on it soothingly. “Like I said.” Spike said, rubbing Twilight’s mane. “Twilight seriously needs some time off and she'd love to spend some quality time with you girls.” “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Fluttershy said. “I mean, if you have something more important to do-” “Nothing is more important to Twilight than helping you with your application.” Spike said. “Right Twilight?” “O-of course not.” Twilight said. “I just…have to move some things around on my schedule first.” “No need; I took the liberty of clearing out your appointments for the next two weeks.” Spike said. “T-two weeks?” Twilight squeaked. “But-” “Your adoring public can do without your radiant presence for couple of weeks.” Spike said, shoving a handful of sugarcubes in Twilight’s mouth to stop her stream of protests. “You’ve been skipping out on your much needed “Twilight time” and as your personal scheduler, I’m scheduling you two weeks of nothing but R&R.” “But…” Twilight sighed. “Okay.” “Good to hear!” Applejack said. “Get your campin gear in order and be ready to go by 0800 Friday morning! We're hittin the trail bright and early!” “Tent?” “Check.” “Provisions?” “Check.” “Rain gear?” “Check.” “Emergency flares?” “Check.” “First Aid kit?” “Check.” “Backup first aid kit?” “Check.” “Rope?” “Check.” “Firestarter?” Spike belched an impressive tongue of flame. “Check.” “Alright, I think that’s everything.” Twilight said, fixing her saddlebags. “Uh-huh.” Spike said. “Turn out your saddlebags.” “What?!” Twilight said. “Wh-why?” Spike reached into Twilight’s saddlebags and produced a day planner and a calendar. “Did anypony ever tell you that working on your vacation kind of defeats the purpose of vacationing?” “I wasn’t planning on working…” Twilight muttered. “…not for the whole trip at least.” “Twilight, as your manager, I have to insist that-” Spike cut himself off as he burped a cream colored envelope out in a puff of green smoke. “Another letter?” Twilight asked stiffly. “Yeah…” Spike said, eyes widening as he caught sight of the address. “Look, if it’s another letter from Celestia, just put it with the rest.” Twilight said, waving over to the small pile in the corner. “I’ll deal with it when I get-” “It’s not for you.” Spike said. “It’s for me.” Twilight froze in mid pack. “You got a letter?” “Yeah.” Spike said. “So…is it from another school?” Twilight asked. “Yeah.” Spike said, nervously running his thumbs over the envelope “Still haven’t heard back from Fillydelphia?” Twilight said. “No…I got a letter last week.” Spike said. “And?” Twilight said. “There was a “problem with my application.” Spike said with the most violent airquotes he could muster. “What?!” Twilight said. “That’s ridiculous! I looked over that application myself! I made sure everything was in order! I proofread your statement of purpose three times! What could possibly be wrong with your-” Spike gave Twilight a significant look and her expression darkened. “Oh, that’s it; I’m going down there tomorrow to kick some serious-” “Forget it.” Spike spat. “I can take a hint; I’m not going where I’m not wanted.” “But this isn’t fair; you have better test scores than most of the other applicants!” Twilight said. “You were tutored by me since you were old enough to read!” “Well apparently I’m not qualified enough to meet their lofty standards.” Spike said. “Don’t say that; you know the only reason they’re shutting you out is because-” “I know why they’re shutting me out!” Spike said. “I’m not a little kid anymore, Twilight, I can read between the lines!” “That doesn’t make it fair!” Twilight insisted. “I’ve given up on fair a long time ago.” Spike said. “Besides…I’ve got a good feeling about this one.” He quickly ran a claw under the flap and delicately opened the letter as if he expected it to contain a poisonous scorpion. He quickly scanned the contents of the letter with widening eyes and smile. “Good news?” Twilight said. “Y-yeah.” Spike said, smiling dazedly. “You got in?!” Twilight cheered. “Yeah.” Spike echoed. “Oh my gosh, Spike, that’s great!” Twilight said, pulling Spike into a tight hug. “I never doubted you for a second!” “Thanks.” Spike said. “Well give it here!” Twilight said, snatching the letter out of Spike’s claws. “Let me see!” “W-wait, Twilight!” Spike said. “Let me explain something fir-” “Dear Master Gallus Talos Spiketrix of Equestria.” Twilight read over Spike’s protests. “We have reviewed your application and are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Gekkou Academy for Young Peoples beginning this fall term. Due to the quality of the grades you submitted and the score you received on the entrance exam, the academy is willing to offer you scholarship funds to cover your tuition as well as housing and board for full term of your study, including holidays and airfare to and from…Neighpon?!.” Twilight looked up at Spike in disbelief. “Y-you applied to a school in Neighpon?!” “Well…yeah.” Spike said. “We haven’t really had much luck with the schools in Equestria, so Princess Celestia thought-” “This was Princess Celestia’s idea?!” Twilight screeched. “Oh, she has some nerve going behind my back like that!” “Nopony went behind your back, Twilight.” Spike said. “I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure I got in; I didn’t want to get your hopes up for nothing!” “Okay, okay.” Twilight said, taking a deep breath. “I just need to calm down for a second. I’m…I’m not angry at you, Spike. I’m just mad that Princess Celestia would stoop low enough to use you like this to get back at me.” “I-” Spike stopped, fixing Twilight with a dumbfounded expression. “What?” “Think about it.” Twilight said. “Why else would Celestia suggest sending you to a school on the other side of the world if not to get back at me for not speaking to her?” “Uh, I don’t know, maybe because she thought it would be a good fit for me?” Spike said. “Riiiight.” Twilight said. “Because there aren’t dozens of excellent academies that you’re more than qualified for in Equestria.” “If I’m so qualified, how come I haven’t received a single letter of acceptance?” Spike said. “Why is it that I keep getting turned down again and again for “improper paperwork” or other equally bogus reasons?” “You know it isn’t because of your abilities.” Twilight said. “It’s only because-” “I know what’s it’s because of!” Spike said. “But Neighpon is completely different than Equestria! Dragons and ponies have been living together peacefully longer than Celestia has been alive! Why are you so dead set against this?!” “Because this is obviously a ploy to use you to get back at me!” Twilight said. “Twilight, Princess Celestia isn’t using me.” Spike said. “She’s helping me!” “She’s packing your bags and kicking you out of the country is what she’s doing!” Twilight said. “You call that, help?!” “Twilight, listen to me!” Spike said. “Are you even sure that the letter is from Gekkou?” Twilight said. “I would like to think fake letters are beneath our glorious leader, but at this point, I wouldn’t put it past-”. “Damnit, Twilight, everything isn't always about you!” Spike roared, shaking the dust from the rafters with the force of his voice. “Spike!” Twilight said, taken aback by the young dragon’s sudden outburst. "Lower your-" “This is why I didn’t want to tell you!” Spike said. “Because I knew you would twist this and make it part of your vendetta against Princess Celestia when it’s got nothing to do with either of you!” “Th-that has nothing to do with-” “Princess Celestia suggested that I apply to Gekkou months before Shining Armor’s funeral!” Spike said. “She ordered entrance exams for me so I wouldn’t have to fly to Neighpon to take them over there! She set me up with a Neighponese pen pal so I could practice the language before I got there! And not once, in the months I’ve been working with her did she ever indicate that this was out of spite towards you!” “Oh, right, because Celestia is just going to come out and say she’s using you to hurt me!” Twilight bristled. "You don't know how she works, Spike!" “Spirits, you’re so bucking conceited sometimes!” Spike groaned. “This may come as a monumental surprise to you, but not everypony spends their every waking moment thinking about Princess Twilight Sparkle!” Spike glared hard at Twilight who matched him with equal ferocity. A long and uneasy silence hung between them, broken by a knock at the door. “Knock knock!” Pinkie Pie said, opening the door for the rest of Twilight’s friends. “Are we ready to get this caravan a-rollin? Pinkie packed a pack of piping Pinkie pastries so…uh… ” “Are we…interrupting something?” Rarity asked, shifting her eyes between Spike and Twilight nervously. “Nothing” Twilight said. “Spike just received some…news.” “Good news or bad news?” Pinkie Pie said. “Or is it bad news that sounds good at first? Or good news that doesn’t turn out as good as you thought it was? Or-” “I don’t know.” Twilight said, turning her gaze back to Spike. “Why don’t you let Spike tell you and judge for yourselves?” Spike fixed Twilight with a withering glare. “I just got news that I got into one of the best schools in the world; full scholarship, all expenses paid.” “But that’s good news!” Pinkie Pie said. “No, wait, that’s great news! That’s at least twice as good as good news!” “Oh, but Spike hasn’t told you the best part.” Twilight said with honey dripping from every word. “Tell them where it is, Spike!” “It’s…in Neighpon.” Spike said Twilight felt a sense of smug satisfaction as all of her friends jaws dropped simultaneously. “N-Neighpon?” “Yep.” Twilight said. “If Spike accepts this generous offer, he’ll be out of Equestria and away from us for…four years?” “Give or take.” Spike said. “But that’s…” Rarity said, mouth agape. "I know." Twilight said. “That’s…absolutely wonderful!” Rarity squealed, pulling Spike into a hug “I know, it is completely awf-” Twilight said. “Wait, what?” “Oh, the opportunity to live and study in a foreign land would be simply amazing!” Rarity gushed. "Good goin, little buckaroo!" Applejack said, knocking a hoof against Spike's fist. “I’ve heard that Neighponese schools can be pretty tough to get into.” Fluttershy said. “B-but…” Twilight spluttered. “Y-you guys are excited about this?!” “Why wouldn’t we be?” Rainbow Dash said. “Our little Spike’s all grown up and heading to Neighpon!” “Always knew this two pony town couldn’t hold ya forever.” Applejack said, tousling Spike’s spines affectionately. “W-well, I mean, it’s certainly exciting.” Twilight said. “B-but don’t you think Spike’s a bit young to travel on his own?” “Young?” Pinkie laughed. “He’s practically a teenager now! I left home when I was half his age!” “But…wouldn’t you all rather that Spike go to a more local school?” Twilight said, earning a venomous glare from Spike. “Don’t you want to tell him how much you’ll miss him if he leaves?” “Well of course we’re going to miss him.” Rarity said. “But that shouldn’t stop him from pursuing his dreams.” “Come on, what kind of jackasses would we be if we tried to guilt Spike into staying?” Rainbow Dash said. “You’re right, Rainbow Dash.” Spike said, locking eyes with Twilight. “You’d have to be a horrible selfish jackass to try and stop someone from pursuing their goals for petty, stupid personal reasons.” “Honey, is there something the matter?” Applejack said. “You’re actin mighty peculiar.” “Well…I just...it’s…” Twilight stammered, looking between her friends in search of some backup. When she found none, she sighed in exasperation. “Nothing. It’s nothing.” Twilight mumbled. “Let’s just get going before we burn anymore daylight.” Twilight and Spike maintained their mutual cold shoulder on the long hike through the Everfree Forest and to the camp grounds on the far side. Twilight brought up the rear of the group, listening to Spike jabber on to Rarity about Gekkou Academy’s campus and the city it was in and the sports teams he wanted to try out for and how cool the dorms were and blah blah-blah blah-blah blah-blah blah-blah. Twilight was content to glower at the back of his head until they made camp for the first night on the edge of the Everfree Forest overlooking the grasslands. Twilight and Spike said nothing all night, occasionally stealing glances at each other over the fire and turning away when the other looked. Twilight’s mood grew fouler as the night progressed, made all the worse by how everypony fawned over Spike’s new school. Not even Pinkie’s Famous Triple Decker Marshmallow Brownie S’mores managed to shake her from her sulk and she stayed awake late into the night, kept awake by ugly thoughts about Spike and Princess Celestia. The next morning, as they moved away from Ponyville, they came to a wide open field of yellow grass dry and brittle in the fading days of summer. A small stream ran through a shaded glen of trees where Applejack and Rainbow Dash started setting up camp. Above them, floating about and darting around like kites in the wind were dozens and dozens of coatl; great feathered serpents slithering back and forth in the air propelled by feathery wings that sprouted from their neck. Fluttershy quickly brought out her quills and notebooks and began taking notes on everything from the water temperature to the wind speed to the cloud density, asking her friends to avoid bothering the coatl (if it wasn’t too much trouble of course). It was a side to Fluttershy that Twilight had never seen before, tongue between teeth in concentration, carefully studying the feathers the serpents left on the ground and scribbling furiously in a notebook. “Fluttershy is certainly taking her studies seriously.” Rarity remarked as the day went on. Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Spike set up a two on two game of tackle hoofball while Rarity and Twilight sat off to the side, enjoying a cup of afternoon tea and pastries while watching Fluttershy do her work. “I can’t say I’m surprised.” Twilight said. “Fluttershy has been taking care of animals for years now; she may as well become a vet and make it nice and official.” “Now what is surprising to me is Spike.” Rarity said, noting the sudden flash of discomfort on Twilight’s face as she changed the subject. “Why didn’t you tell me he was considering studying abroad?” “I kind of just found out about it myself.” Twilight said. “Well, I think it’s a wonderful opportunity.” Rarity said, stirring another sugarcube into her tea. “What I wouldn't have given to study in Neighpon when I was younger! Such an exotic place; it’s practically a whole world away from Equestria!” “Uh-huh.” Twilight said, blowing bubbles in her drink. “And such a lovely country too!” Rarity went on. “The mountains, the forests…ooh, the fashion!” “Lovely.” Twilight muttered. “I wonder if I could send him with some bits to go shopping for me when he’s there.” Rarity said. “Then again, I can’t really say what my fashion is going to be like four years from now; it’s practically an eternity in fashion years.” “Yep.” Twilight said. “An eternity.” “Although anything from Neighponese designers is usually on the cutting edge so I doubt that whatever he gets me will fall out of style by the time he gets back.” Rarity said. “That’s good.” Twilight said tersely. “I can’t really decide if I want him to pick me out an outfit or an accessory.” Rarity mused. “I suppose an accessory can be incorporated into multiple outfits-” “Right, right, whatever.” Twilight said “But then again there’s something to be said for a new outfit; just adds a breath of fresh air to any wardrobe, wouldn’t you agree?” Rarity said. “Breath of fresh air.” Twilight said. “Got it.” “But then again, an outfit is only as good as the accessory.” Rarity said. “Then get the accessory.” Twilight muttered through gritted teeth. “But without an outfit to match, the accessory is just-” “Oh for crying out loud!” Twilight cried, throwing her hooves up in disgust and knocking her drink over. “Just get both! Get all the outfits! Buy all the accessories! Send him on a four year shopping spree while he’s there! Maybe he can get you matching kimonos and you two can sit around eating sushi and drinking tea in a hotspring while gabbing on in Neighponese about how bucking wonderful Neighpon is!” Rarity barely raised an eyebrow at Twilight’s outburst, taking a moment to refill her friend’s cup. “Something the matter dear?” “Nope.” Twilight said stubbornly. “I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be? Spike’s going to Neighpon and everypony’s getting souvenirs! Happy day!” “Ahh.” Rarity said, comprehension dawning on her. “Don’t ahhhhh me.” Twilight growled. “You sound like a diamond dog.” “So…somepony’s upset that her little Spikey Wikey is flying the nest without her blessing.” Rarity said. “Is there a reason you don’t want him to go to an amazing school in a foreign land completely free of charge?” “No!” Twilight said. “Of course not!” “Buuuuuut…” Rarity said “It’s just…” Twilight looked back at Spike intercepting a pass to Rainbow Dash and running the hoofball down the field. “He didn’t even ask me.” “Did he need to?” Rarity asked. “Does he need your permission for everything he does?” “Of course not!” Twilight said. “But I wish he would have talked to me about it at least. He’s set to leave in a month and this is the first time I’ve heard about it.” “Well, can you blame him dear?” Rarity said. “He’s been working on this with the Princess for months and you get positively prickly anytime the Princess is even mentioned; I can’t imagine what you might have done if he told you that Princess Celestia was helping him find a school out of the country.” “Yeah, one more thing she conveniently forgot to tell me about.” Twilight muttered darkly. “There you go again; she’s not trying to steal him from you.” Rarity scolded gently. “She’s got Spike’s best interests at heart; if you would put this little grudge with the Princess aside for two minutes-” “Whoa whoa whoa!” Twilight barked. “Who said anything about a grudge?! I don’t have a grudge against Princess Celestia.” Rarity raised a carefully shaped eyebrow at Twilight over the rim of her teacup. “It’s just a…prolonged disagreement characterized by a complete lack of communication.” Twilight said stubbornly. “At any rate, Spike has the opportunity to study in a foreign country among his own kind and ponies that won’t scream when they see him coming down the street.” Twilight winced at this. “He’s getting bigger.” “He’s not that big yet.” Twilight said. “He’s still young.” “He’s going into high school.” Rarity said. “Did you really think he would be going to Ponyville High?” “Two words; royal decree.” Twilight said flatly. “If I have to play the princess card, I will.” “Wonderful idea!” Rarity said dramatically. “If the other kids get tired of making fun of him for being a dragon, they can make fun of his Princess mommy who had to get a special law passed just so he could go to school with the other ponies!” “Wow, somepony’s snippy today.” Twilight said “I just think you’re letting your feelings about Princess Celestia cloud your judgment.” Rarity said. “Or is there another reason that you’re reluctant to see him off?” “It’s just…I can’t remember a time when he hasn’t been there for me.” Twilight said, sadly looking at the gawky young dragon currently arm wrestling Applejack. “I hatched him, helped Princess Celestia raise him. He’s been my number one assistant for years and…my first real friend.” “I know.” Rarity said, gently laying a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “It’s hard to say goodbye so soon after…after the Crystal Empire. But Spike can’t be your little helper for the rest of his life. He’s obviously getting restless…and I think a small part of him feels a teensy bit overshadowed by you.” “Overshadowed?” Twilight said. “You’ve always been frankly extraordinary, dear.” Rarity said. “Even before your coronation, you always shone a little brighter than everypony else. That can be…difficult to be around sometimes. Being surrounded by successful ponies can make a growing young dragon feel… small.” “But I don’t want him to feel that way!” Twilight groaned. “I don’t want any of you to feel like you’re two inches tall around me because of a pair of wings and a crown! What do I do?” “You can let him do this for himself.” Rarity said firmly. “It’s not your fault he feels like this, but I’m sure he doesn’t want to be known as “Princess Twilight’s Assistant” for the rest of his natural life. He wants to prove to himself more than anypony else that he’s more than just your assistant.” “You’re right…” Twilight sighed. “It’s just…Neighpon is so far away. What if…what if the kids at this new school are mean to him? What if he gets lonely over there?” “And what if he has the best four years of his life?” Rarity asked. “Spike isn’t willing to sacrifice the opportunity of a lifetime to What-If’s and you shouldn’t be either.” “No…no, you’re right.” Twilight sighed. “Neighponese dragons and ponies have lived side by side for centuries.” Rarity said. “Nopony is going to look twice at a young dragon in their class the way they might here. He’ll have a much easier time fitting in.” “It’s not fair.” Twilight mumbled. “It certainly isn’t.” Rarity agreed. “Every school from here to Canterlot should be begging him to join.” Twilight said. “Their loss; some lucky school in Neighpon is going to get the privilege of hosting him for the next four years.” Rarity said, fondly looking over at Spike, hanging on to Rainbow Dash as she took to the air to get the hoofball away from him. “I will miss him though.” “I guess I’m not the only one who’s losing a little helper.” Twilight chuckled. “Do you...do you think I take him for granted?" "Oh dear, where's this coming from?" Rarity said. "I don't know." Twilight sighed. "Lately he's been shouldering more and more of my responsibilities. I've really come to rely on him but...I wonder if I ask too much sometimes." "Twilight, Spike is more than happy to help you." Rarity said "Because it's all he's ever known." Twilight said. "He started assisting me when he was old enough to carry my books. For fourteen years he's organized my library, cooked my meals, helped me with my mail, run errands for me, tidied my house-" "You forget all the wonderful things you do for him!" Rarity said brightly. "You care about him very much and...ah...y-you provide him with a home and shelter?" "Actually, Pri-Celestia does that." Twilight said. "Celestia raised him and provided for him for most of his life so I can't say I do that for him. Even you toss him a gem or two for helping out at the boutique which is a heck of a lot more than I do for him. I'm beginning to think he resents me a little...And I can't exactly blame him if he does" "Why?" Rarity asked. "We...we had it out pretty good before you showed up yesterday." Twilight said. "He said I was self-centered and that I always made everything about me." "No!" Rarity gasped. "Why on earth would he say a thing like that?!" "Because I kind of did." Twilight said, scuffing the ground with her hoof. "When I heard that Celestia was the one who suggested that he apply overseas I kind of lost it a bit. I should have been happy for him but I just...twisted it to make it about me and Celestia. I even went so far as to imply that the letter was a forgery and the only reason he got it was as part of a plot to get back at me." "Ah..." Rarity said softly. "Well, that wasn't exactly the...kindest thing you could have said but-" "That's just it." Twilight said. "I-I'm worried that I haven't shown Spike the same kindness he's shown me. Of course I care about him but...I wonder if he wants to go to Neighpon just to get away from me. I'm worried that he's only sticking around because Celestia assigned him to be my assistant and once he leaves me...he'll never come back." "I wish I could tell you that you were worrying for nothing, dear." Rarity said, lightly patting Twilight on the shoulder. "But the only one who can do that is Spike. I think you need to have a chat with him...but I seriously doubt that he never wants to see you again." "Thank you Rarity." Twilight said. "I’m sorry for losing my patience with you earlier.” “Water under the bridge, dear.” Rarity said, packing up the tea set. “You know…” Twilight said, sheepishly. “Sometimes I think you would have made a better princess than me.” “Oh, of course I would have dear.” Rarity chuckled. “But I’m sure Equestria will find some way to make due with the one they’re stuck with.” Rarity ducked delicately as Twilight lobbed a cream puff at her head, taking off laughing from the pastry pelting princess. “Alright, y’all, let’s pack it in!” Applejack hollered. “It’s getting late and it’s gonna be dark soon!” “Hey, where’d Fluttershy get off to?” Rainbow Dash said. “I think she said something about looking for some…merengue.” Pinkie Pie said. “Merengue?” Rarity said. “Like...the pie?” “Oh…then no.” Pinkie Pie said. “I find it easier to remember stuff if I associate it with pastries but I can’t always remember why sooo…let’s see…merengue is sweet…fluffy…and made of…eggs!” Pinkie crowed. “That’s it! She was going to go look for those Colattle nests in the brush!” “Ah swear, that girl.” Applejack sighed, stomping off into the brush. “I’ll be back in two shakes; tell Rainbow Dash to keep her stinking hooves out of my chili!” Twilight turned around to see a guilty looking Rainbow Dash replacing the lid on the bubbling crock pot. “Wh-what? D-don’t judge me!” “Hey, I won’t tell if you don’t!” Pinkie Pie said, producing a pair of spoons from her saddlebag and passing one to Rainbow Dash. “I’m sure Applejack won’t mind if we just…test her chili.” “Right.” Rainbow Dash said seriously. “For spiciness. We wouldn’t want Fluttershy or Rarity to eat something that’s too spicy for them, would we?” “Absolutely not.” Pinkie Pie said, licking her lips and removing the pot lid. “So, really, we’re doing everypony a favor!” Rainbow Dash said, raising a spoonful of chili to her mouth. “Of course!” Pinkie said. “Just a teeny tiny little bite couldn’t hurt any-” “IF EITHER OF Y’ALL TAKES SO MUCH AS A LICK OF THAT CHILI, THE PAIR OF YA IS GETTING BANNED FROM THE CIDER STAND UNTIL YER GRANDKIDS HAVE GRANDKIDS!” Applejack hollered from deep within the brush. Rainbow Dash immediately dropped the spoon as if it had turned into a snake. “Not worth it; so totally not even close to worth it.” The four of them shared a laugh but Twilight trailed off as Spike came up from the river with a pail of water. Twilight caught his eye and he turned away sullenly to pack up the hoofball equipment off to the side. Twilight edged her way over to Spike. “Hey.” Twilight said. “Hey.” Spike mumbled, not meeting her gaze. “Listen, Spike, I just wanted to-” “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Four ponies and one dragon whipped their heads around towards the brush and the source of the hair raising scream. “What on Earth was that?!” Rarity said. “It sounded like Applejack!” Rainbow Dash said, darting off into the shady glen before anypony could stop her. “Rainbow Dash wait!” Pinkie cried, leading the small group into the underbrush towards the source of the commotion. Through thorny thickets they thrashed until they came to a small clearing where Applejack sat back, eyes wide and panting. “Applejack?” Twilight asked, flapping over to Applejack’s side. “Are you okay?” “Y-yeah.” Applejack said, swallowing heavily. “Ah’m fine.” “Then what they hay did you scream like a banshee for?” Rainbow Dash demanded. “W-well, ah was headed off into the brush to look for Fluttershy when ah found-” There was a rustle in the brush off to the side and everyone jumped. “Th-that! Over there!” The underbrush stirred violently and Twilight shared an uneasy glance with her friends. After a few moments of inaction, Spike took it upon himself to creep slowly towards the disturbance, pausing at the edge of the glen to look back at his friends. Carefully, he parted the grass then leapt back something swiped past his face. “Gah!” Spike cried, falling on his backside. “What is it?!” Twilight said. “Are you hurt?!” “No, I’m good.” Spike said. “Check this out.” Spike pulled the curtain of weeds back to reveal a small, rainbow colored serpent struggling to free its wing from the grip of a fox trap. “It’s one of them cowattle thingamabobs!” Applejack said. “Coatl.” Twilight corrected gently. “These are the things Fluttershy came here to study, right?” Rainbow Dash said. “How the heck did it get trapped like this?” As if sensing an animal distress, Fluttershy swooped down through the trees overhead. “Applejack?” Fluttershy cried, hovering over the clearing. “Applejack, I heard screaming, is something-” Fluttershy gasped when she caught sight of the injured coatl, feebly struggling to get free of the trap. “Oh, you poor little thing.” Fluttershy cooed, floating to the ground. “Who did this to you?” “Dunno.” Applejack said. “It was like this when ah got here.” “Is that why you screamed?!” Fluttershy said, looking Applejack up and down in a panic. “Did it bite you?!” “No, I’m fine!” Applejack said. “Oh…thank goodness.” Fluttershy sighed. “If this little guy had bitten you-” Fluttershy suppressed a shudder and gently bent down to inspect the wounded coatl. “It looks like his wing is caught; Twilight, do you think you could get that trap open? He won’t last too much longer unless we get that wing bandaged.” “Okay.” Twilight said, closing her eyes and gently taking hold of the steel jaws with her magic. “Not too fast now!” Fluttershy said. “You could break his wings if you do it too quickly.” Twilight nodded in comprehension, slowly prying the jaws of the trap open inch by inch. The coatl gave a wounded hiss, squirming a bit and thrashing its tail back and forth but lay still long enough to get the trap completely open. “Got it.” Twilight said, wrenching the trap in half with a mighty telekinetic twist as the coatl slithered free. “There, there, little guy.” Fluttershy said soothingly, bending down to the injured snake and reaching out a hoof gently. “It’s okay; nopony’s going to hurt you now.” The coatl looked at Fluttershy’s outstretched hoof curiously, tilting its head this way and that in a lazy serpentine motion as if appraising her. It lowered its head and just as Fluttershy reached out a hoof to stroke it on the nose- It bit, sinking its fangs deep into Fluttershy's leg One winter, a farmer found a viper frozen and numb from the cold. The farmer, a large and gentle pony, took pity on the poor creature and warmed it against his body. No sooner had the viper revived itself than it turned on the farmer, striking him in the neck and killing him. As he lay there, dying, his final words were… “Strange to think that my kindness would be the death of me.”