//------------------------------// // The Crazy Thing About Father // Story: Jokers Wild // by blowngasket //------------------------------// Chapter 17: The Crazy Thing About Father Green to the left, and green to the right. Perry expected this, but a forest was always a bit on the boring side. Everything being green made it all look the same. Not to say that Perry was lost, but he certainly had no idea where he was going. Trying to remember the path to the hut, he wandered around, figuring that once he got close enough, he would remember the exact location. He was usually better at this, but the last time he was slightly distracted, so this time he planned on remembering the path. The forest itself had an evil feel to it, probably residual mana mixing in with the feral wildlife. Creating a golem like that was bound to use a sizable amount of mana. and leftovers had a tendency to contaminate the surrounding area. Perry took notice of the timber wolves starting to surround him, though cared very little of it. Animals had a tendency to avoid the apex predator, no matter how desperate they are. They were more or less scoping out the competition to make sure their way of life was not being threatened by him. This made the sudden attack by one all the more surprising as Perry jumped to the side to avoid it. He then proceeded to sweep its front legs, following up with a spinning heel kick to its head, sending it skidding across the ground. Perry stayed his ground, the rest of the wolves still circling him. He had no problem handling them, and would have gladly taken them all out, but a large puff of smoke, followed by a large boom, had managed to scare them off. Perry readied himself for the possible threat posed on him, but relaxed when he saw the figure of Zecora walk through the smoke. She approached Perry slowly, taking care to keep her distance. "These troubled wolves are filled with fear. An evil presence grows ever clear," Zecora said to Perry, who chuckled at the rhyming quirk she displayed constantly. "That is why I am here actually," Perry said after he stopped laughing. "I am sure even you heard the disturbance that occurred in Ponyville last night." "It would be hard to have not heard that beast. Ponyville is safe though, at the very least?" Zecora asked, still acting wary of Perry, but starting to calm down. "Yes. iIt took some effort, but Celestia and I managed to make it go away. I am here trying to find the source, and figuring you seemed to be quite skilled at sensing auras, have you felt any strong evil...besides myself of course?" Perry asked Zecora. "Indeed a strong one has started to grow, but recently it has started to slow. The power required for that creature to be made, possibly caused its energy to fade. I don't know if it is still near by. I'd rather not wait around to die..." Zecora told Perry. It was then he noticed she had a large bag, probably filled with as much as she could carry. "Here let me at least help you with that," Perry said to Zecora, who shook her head and started to walk down the path to Ponyville. "I do not want you to help me flee..." she started, before being interrupted by Perry. "Consider this my apology," he chuckled, walking up next to her. "I have been on edge for some time now, and I have had much on my mind. I don't want you to see me as an enemy, but I don't mind if you don't see me as a friend. I am simply trying to make amends for my threats to you a few days back," Perry spoke sincerely, and Zecora could tell. She sighed and handed him the bag, which was much heavier than Perry had expected. He was still able to carry it, but he felt an odd presence within the bag, one that he had been familiar with once. "Zecora, I have a question for you, and you have to be honest with me. How did you come across the Alicorn's Amulet?" Perry asked with complete seriousness. Zecora look was that of shock at the mention of that object. "It was acquired a few weeks ago, from a woman with too much love of the show. She insisted on challenging Twilight to a dual, and won because of that dark tool. Twilight came to me for help to win, and try to save that girl from sin. Twilight had tricked her into removing it, from there on out in my hut it sit," Zecora told Perry, who nodded, understanding that amulet's dark powers. "I thought that it would be locked away forever. Too dark and terrible of a thing to ever be used," Perry said. "I had used it once as well..." Zecora looked at him. "I could feel its power flowing through me, but I was barely able to control my madness. It was a difficult struggle, and though the amulets power is what saved me, I shall never forget almost losing myself to the desire to kill. I will not lie, I do enjoy it, but I am still not a heartless maniac," Zecora listen to him as they walked. "Make sure you keep this thing safe, because I have a feeling that the enemy knows that it is somewhere in the forest as well. Otherwise, they would be in a more secluded area." "You truly are a strange one. But consider what you have asked done. I shall keep the Alicorn's Amulet away from all, and guard it even after I fall," Zecora said to Perry, who nodded in appreciation. "Chances are good that whoever it is out there is looking for you as well, so you should stay with someone you know," the two suddenly froze when a voice spoke from behind them. "That is some excellent advice, clown," Perry and Zecora turned around to find the same hooded figure from last night. "Oh don't mind me, I am just here for two things, that stupid necklaces and your stupid heads, so you can make it easier on yourselves and just hand them over, we can all have a good day. Well, except for you two, but nothing is perfect," he laughed slightly, a simple dark laugh. Perry took off the pack and handed it to Zecora. "I would suggest you run, Zecora. This is the one responsible for bringing that behemoth to Ponyville," Perry told her. Zecora shook her head and put the bag down. "Don't think I am weak, unless it is defeat you seek," she said, smiling as she pulled out two daggers. "Alright then. You better be able to handle yourself. I fight so much better without having to watch someone's ass. Just stay behind and maybe you will get the answers you need about me," Perry grinned towards the hooded man. "Aww, that's cute," he said, a smile seen from within his hood. "Master is quite upset that you destroyed Fluffy, but you don't have Celestia this time, so you're as good as dead when it comes to me." "Been awhile since I had a magic fight, should prove interesting. I just hope that you don't die too quickly, I might end up being saddened," Perry responded, sounding oddly happy. Zecora could feel the killing intent from the two, but she needed to stand her ground. She understood that she should have left, but she needed to truly understand Perry and see him for what he was capable of. "It won't be much of a fight, more of a slaughter," the hooded one said with a cocky tone. "Well you know, you can't spell slaughter without laughter, and I will be the one laughing in the end. Your blood is going to look beautiful when I paint it on my mask," Perry said, starting to get fired up as well. Zecora could only wonder how such a person could be so calm and collected one moment, and become this in another. "Darkness everlasting, guide my strike true, and slay those who defy my whim," The hooded man started to cast, Perry preparing a spell of his own. ""Hold down that which soars. Bind down to the land in which we walk. Give way to all that resides, granting an everlasting stability. Cast out all who seek to defile the simple law and back onto the rock of origin," Perry responded, grinning slightly. "Turn them to dust, and let the wind be their burial!" The other finished casting as well. "GRAVITY FIELD!" "DISINTIGRATOR!" The field erected around the entire area, Zecora could feel the weight increase, making it harder to stand. She watched as the hooded man shot a ball of dark energy at Perry. The energy wouldn't be effected, making Zecora wonder why Perry would put such a handicap on himself as well. He could manipulate the field to avoid him, but it wouldn't make him any faster as shifting the field around him takes time. As the attack was about to hit, Perry simply dodged, almost as if he wasn't effected by the gravity to begin with. The attack hit a tree, causing it to crumble into dust. Perry could only chuckle as he moved closer to the man. He on the other hand, had a hard time standing there. He started to breath more rapidly, while trying to maintain a smug appearance. "DISINTIGRATOR!" He casted the spell again, this time in rapid succession, as he shot multiple balls at Perry. Almost as if he wasn't trying, Perry walked by, quickly sidestepping the fast moving attacks with little to no trouble. "Having a hard time there? You look tired," Perry grinned as he got closer, The hooded man struggling to move back, his legs heavy and already worn. "You stupid mages are all the same. Magic this, magic that. It's why you're no fun to fight at all. There isn't an easy way to move in here, because I don't feel the need to use one. You only worked on perfecting your magic techniques, it seems. Learning more and more. I didn't like that, so I decided to train myself up more physically. You will never know the satisfaction of being covered in your own success unless you physically struggle for it. I practice fighting in at least double what you're feeling now, so this is nothing to me," all the while attacking, the mage still tried to hit him, hoping that Perry would end up distracting himself from the task at hand. "It's simply no use. A slow spell like that won't work," the hooded man simply grinned, and looked towards Zecora. "I'll just have to take out your friend there!" he yelled as he fired at her. It didn't really matter though at that point, as the moment he looked away from Perry, he found that Perry was standing there, in his face with that mask looking him right in the eye. He looked back to Zecora, who had successfully created a small barrier to block the attack, though stopping something of that caliber had looked like it drained her, causing her to fall to her knees. "Your first mistake was taking your eyes off me, silly mage," Perry chuckled at the stunned mage, he couldn't really tell why, but he had a large pain in his chest. "Your second was thinking I actually gave a damn about her. What did you think I would do? Be all noble, yell 'nooooo' and jump in front of the blast? That's cute," Perry turned his head to look at Zecora. "You're fine, right? Otherwise I would have severely misjudged you," she only nodded, breathing heavily, waiting for Perry to return gravity to normal. Perry turned his head and looked at the surprised man. "What's wrong, lost for words, finding it hard to breath and concentrate? Honestly I am shocked you are even still conscious," Perry chuckled as he lifted his hand up slowly, revealing a blood covered red pulsating mass of flesh. "Funny how important these little things are, and yet they are just soooo squishy and soft, almost like a stress ball!" he started to squeeze it, causing blood to squirt out of it. "You're losing all the oxygen to your system about now, shutting everything you have inside you down. It must me awful. You can barely move! I am quite surprised you're even..." the hooded man fell to the ground, clutching the hole in his chest, flailing and gasping. "Never mind!" Perry said happily as he watched the man writhe on the ground, before starting to stop. "Well it was fun, but I am going to go now, you're boring me. When you get to the underworld, tell its keeper I said you're welcome. Don't worry, I am sure he will know what I mean," Perry laughed as he continued to throw his heart up and down like a ball. The hooded mages eyes closed, though a small smile appeared on his face before. His master was right. He truly didn't stand a chance. Releasing his concentration on the gravity spell, Perry walked over to Zecora, casually tossing the heart in his hand up and down. "So, you alright?" Perry asked. Zecora got up slowly and stared for what was some time. "I do not truly know what to think. Watching you kill him made my heart sink. I am sure though, that you did what you must. The punishment, though cruel, was also just," Zecora spoke to Perry in her usual rhymes. Perry stared at the red ball in his hand and shrugged, tossing it over his shoulder. "I probably should have asked for information," Perry said. "Oh well, hindsight's twenty twenty," Zecora picked up her bag and they made there way away from the battlefield. Perry looked over to Zecora and chuckled slightly. "Would you happen to have some water on you? I would rather not go into town looking like this," She nodded and pulled out a canteen, which Perry poured over himself. He tried his best to rinse off what blood he could, but it was clear he would need to make a stop into town first to change. The practice battle had been concluded. Now was the real one, meeting Fluttershy's father. ---------- ---------- ---------- Perry sat at his desk, writing a report fully describing what he seen, and how the problem was dealt with. His wet hair constantly stuck to his mask, blocking his slight slightly. Showers were nice, but the drying part was always a pain. At least he didn't look like a psychopath anymore, though he still felt like it. Ripping any kind of organ out of a man will do that to you, but that didn't really bother him anymore. Finishing the letter, he got up and stretched. Then, with a snap of his fingers, the letter vanished into a puff of magical smoke. He made sure to mention Zecora, who was a witness to the event. She made her way over to Twilight's so she could stay there, as well as do some reading. Perry checked the clock, reading half past five from the position of the hands. He looked presentable, didn't smell like death, and was feeling confidant. He checked the mirror, adjusted his mask slightly and gave himself a thumbs up. Making his way out the door, the most unexpected thing occurred. Pinkie jumped almost out of nowhere and scared the living daylights out of Perry. "PERRY!" she yelled as she appeared in front of his face. Perry jumped back slightly, staring at Pinkie. "I was wondering if you wanted to help me test out a new cake...Perry are you ok?" she asked, Perry breathing heavily. "How in the bloody hell did you do that?! I can't even remember the last time someone snuck up on me!" Perry said to Pinkie, who only smiled. "I wasn't trying, I guess I am just that good," she said. Perry's eye twitched slightly at the comment. If any of his team mates found out about this, he would never live it down. "Right then...Well, I will have to apologize. I would love to give your masterpieces a taste, but I am going to meet Fluttershy's father," he said to Pinkie. Her jaw dropped and she screamed, running away as fast as possible. "...Well, that just happened. Doesn't bode well for me," Perry sighed. He was absolutely adamant about this, but it was mainly an excuse to spend more time with Fluttershy. Awkward dinners wasn't his thing, and if the simple mentioning of her father could send Pinkie running faster than Rainbow, should he be nervous as well? ---------- ---------- ---------- He made his way to Fluttershy's, contemplating how bad things could go in his head. Several had implosions, which never went well. The walk was short, leaving him with little time to think. Perry stood in front of that front door, not even caring about knocking, as there was possibly a greater foe present. Fluttershy answered the door rather quickly, looking at Perry. "So, how was the forest?" "More boring than I would have expected, but Zecora is staying with Twilight until the issue is taken care of. Anyways, I am going to cast the spells," Fluttershy gave a slightly forced nod. Putting his hands together, Perry started to glow for a few seconds, the glow fading. "Well, the cloud walking spell is all done," Perry told Fluttershy. She looked at him nervously and lifted her sweater over her wings, allowing them to stretch out to their full length. "Are you sure about this Perry. I mean, its not too late to just have a nice relaxing evening here," Fluttershy said meekly. Perry wanted to agree, but he almost felt like this had to be done. "Don't worry, Fluttershy. I don't think it will be as bad as you think," he lied. Fluttershy just nodded as Perry wrapped his arms around her. "Feather's Grace," Perry created a small purple field around the two. Perry chuckled as Fluttershy moved around somewhat spastically. "I feel like I am not actually here. Is that normal?" She asked. "Don't worry, you're just not used to it," He gripped Fluttershy tightly and, picking her up with ease, walked out to a clear part of her yard. Angel waved from the door to Fluttershy, and possibly flipping Perry off when she looked away. He simply chuckled and disregarded the vulgar rabbit. "Are you ready?" Perry asked Fluttershy. Even though she was obviously nervous about the whole thing, she gave an approving nod. Perry grinned, and with as much force as possible, jumped up into the air. The lack of gravity on them was quite evident by how fast and how far up they were going. Perry chuckled at Fluttershy, who was clinging to him for dear life, despite being the one who could fly. Eventually they started to slow, Perry looking at Fluttershy. "Ok, Flutters. It is your turn." She gulped and tried to flap her wings, finding that it isn't hard at all to give them both lift. Perry adjusted the negation factor to prevent her from accidently launching them farther up than necessary, making the task of flight for her not only easy, but fun. "Perry, It feels amazing...It is as if I am Rainbow! Oh it feels wonderful!" she continued to fly to her home, Perry giving a slightly mischievous chuckle as they traveled. The light purple bubble surrounding them continued to move along with the two. Fluttershy found it a bit harder to fly as they got near, but she kept going, not wanting to let them fall. "Perry...are you sure...your spell is...working?" she said in-between breaths. "Absolutely. It is in perfect working order," he responded. She eventually landed on the cloud supporting a nice sized home. Though the outside was a bit on the bland side, it had a lovely view of the both Ponyville and Canterlot. "Is this the place?" Perry said, stopping his field. Fluttershy simply sat down and took in some breaths of air. "Yes...this is it...give me a second...please..." she said to him. Perry could only laugh as he walked up to her and placed his hand on her head. "You're a better flyer than you even realize. I was slowly returning gravity to normal as we flew," Fluttershy gave him a surprised look, only prompting more laughter. "You were actually close to normal gravity. Seventy four percent normal to be exact, but who's counting." "That was mean..." she said, pouting slightly. "I am sorry. Personally, you don't give yourself enough credit. You're so sweet and kind to others, but you tend to forget yourself. I'll gladly give you as much of that as I can, but that doesn't make up for what you truly need," he sat down next to her, hugging her tightly. "Don't be afraid to try new things. I think you can do anything you set your mind to," Fluttershy smiled, blushing lightly at his words. She felt that there was no way someone like him could be the monster he claimed to be. "Tell you what. I owe you a favor for all your hard work. You name it and I do it...except leaving before we say hello," he chuckled as she sighed slightly. "Well it has been some time, and I do miss him. I do have one thing I would like to ask, though it is a bit embarrassing," Fluttershy's voice grew quiet as she spoke, looking towards the cloudy ground they stood on. "Like I said, anything at all," Perry said again, his tone light and airy, making her feel more comfortable. "Well, Rarity wanted me to invite you to our spa trip tomorrow. I can understand if you don't want to, of course, but I said I would ask...and..." "I would love to join you. It does strike me as odd, but a promise is indeed a promise. I might even like it!" Perry said enthusiastically. "Now then, I guess we should get this over with, right?" Fluttershy started walking to the front door, Perry following closely behind. She approached the door and stood before it, just staring. "Don't worry, Flutters. In the end, it is still just a door," Perry said, knowing from first hand experience. "I understand, it is just...well...my father can be a bit rough sometimes," she said, looking down. "He never really approved of any of my friends, and last time he visited, he even made poor Pinkie cry..." she said to Perry. He thought back to earlier, finally understanding why she acted the way she did. To make her act the way she did, he must be scary, and most likely overly strict. Perry didn't like strict, strict was boring, and boring was boring. He knew what he must do, and so he knocked on the door for Fluttershy, causing her to jump slightly. "Oknooneshomelet'sgo!" she tried to make a run for the nearest edge, but Perry casually held onto her hand. She quickly turned around when she heard the locks being unlocked inside the house. His voice could be heard from inside the house. "If it is you kids, I am going to have to get your parents involved. A telemarketer, I don't want any. If it's a robber, I am armed to the teeth and know how to use them," Fluttershy hid behind Perry as the door finally opened. The man looked to be in his late fifties, though he was anything but frail. He had most of his hair, though turning grey from black. He wore a sweater, similar to Fluttershy's and a green vest over it. Finishing the look off was a pair of dark black pants. Fluttershy well hidden, Perry simply stood there, the two of them looking at each other. "...And what the hell are you supposed to be?" Perry took a bow, revealing the hiding Fluttershy behind him. "I am Perry O'te. Royal Jester to the princesses and your daughter's boyfriend. Pleased to meet you, sir," Perry said as formally as he could. The man continued to stand there looking at him, and then at the blushing Fluttershy. "Stay right there for a second, boy. I need to go grab my rifle..."