by: CartsBeforeHorses
by: CartsBeforeHorses
Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns, Canterlot, 2013.
The day before Twilight Sparkle's coronation ceremony.
The vast marble-columned edifice of Princess Celestia’s School For Gifted Unicorns cast a looming shadow down the mountainside of the perched capital city of Canterlot. From the balcony abutting the rear of the school, students could glimpse a magnificent view of Equestria. The front entrance to the school was guarded by grand brass gates and stone walls. Unicorn guards stood tall outside of the campus, assuring only students and faculty entered.
In the center courtyard of the campus, a grand fountain spewed jets of cool water a dozen feet into the air. Ponies lay in the grass around the fountain studying for exams, eating lunch, and chatting with one another. The lawn was surrounded by the various institutions of the school: from Magic Kindergarten to Magic Middle and High School all the way up to Magical University.
Prince Blueblood sat in his office, busily preparing reports and forms. His feather quill glowed in his magic as he wrote. Paperweights held tall stacks of forms down as a breeze blew lazily through an open window. As the dean of the school, Blueblood had tall piles of work to attend to. If he was lucky, he would actually get to leave work on time today. If not, and if today turned out to be like the other three school days this week, he would have to stay until well after the sun had set.
In eighteen years at this job he had learned much. In fact, he figured he had learned more than the very students he had the job of educating. He had learned that in order to accomplish anything at all, the actions required of him were as numerous as the words needed to write a novel, and they were as tedious as attempting to write said novel while holding a feather pen between one’s hooves. He had learned that if he didn’t document absolutely everything—every decision, transaction, conversation, and event—somepony would find a way to twist his actions into something not at all resembling his original intentions. But most of all, he had learned that this was certainly not a job he wanted to do for the rest of his life. Or even one he wanted to do for the rest of the year.
The School, though a decent institute of learning which ranked among the top 20 magical schools in Equestria, had suffered from severe problems since he had taken over as dean eighteen years ago.
For one, bullying and mistreatment of students was rampant. He recalled a young student he had years ago named Twilight Sparkle. She had been teased and ridiculed by her classmates in Magic Kindergarten, simply because she had been the most brilliant student in the class. As a magically-gifted stallion himself, Blueblood had felt for Twilight’s predicament. It got so bad that Prince Blueblood and Princess Celestia agreed to simply pull Twilight out of traditional classes and have the Princess tutor the unicorn one-on-one.
But did Princess Celestia let Blueblood expel any of the bullies? No, of course not. “Foals will be foals,” she had said. Instead, far too many students at this school were mistreated and the rule-breakers allowed impunity so that the torment would continue. Worse than that, Blueblood feared that his reputation was suffering. Ponies might think that he ran a disorderly school!
The second and more severe problem was the course requirements for degrees at this school. Students had to take a minimum of three “friendship courses” to graduate. Blueblood scoffed at what a ridiculous idea that was. None of the other magic schools made students take friendship courses! True, this was the only school at which dangerous spells such as black magic, mind control, time travel, and invisibility (among others) could be legally taught, through scrolls in the Canterlot Archives which only Celestia’s graduates could access.
The Princess was worried that if ponies did not have loving hearts, they might abuse these spells: thus the friendship courses. But Blueblood didn’t think that friendship could be taught or instilled any more than a teacher could teach somepony how to mourn for a deceased loved one. The friendship courses certainly weren’t helping to eliminate bullying, that was for sure. If Blueblood had the power, he’d remove these courses. They were keeping the cost of tuition at Princess Celestia’s School much higher than tuition elsewhere, and these requirements were keeping many students from pursuing magical degrees at CSGU when they could get them easier and cheaper elsewhere.
But both of these problems paled in comparison to the third problem: a lack of funding. Prince Blueblood’s stomach churned upon the contemplation of his meager and inadequate salary. Though Blueblood was royalty and most of his expenses were paid for by the state, the teachers could not say the same. Unfortunately, Celestia’s School couldn’t pay competitive salaries, and most of the best professors went to teach elsewhere. For whatever reason that Prince Blueblood could not quite discern, Princess Celestia was unwilling to funnel any significant amount of money into her school.
Thus, the school had had to rely on private donations, which had not been easy to come across. As it just so happened, far too many of the ponies who called Celestia’s School their alma mater were not willing to donate money to it. Many of those who ended up successful enough in their lives to have made a decent amount of money resented the bullying and tormenting they had faced from their peers, and needless to say did not want their “fond memories” to be passed on to any further generations of young minds. Blueblood could hardly blame them.
The school had received a nice endowment from the Arthur C. Maloney Foundation in exchange for renaming the library the “Maloney Library.” However, renaming a library was something that can only be done once, as the Financial Committee was seemingly surprised to learn when they accepted a similar offer from the Almeda Group several years later and tried to rename it the “Almeda Library.” The name stuck for about a week until Arthur Maloney caught word and threatened to sue the school for not following his endowment contract. Blueblood was astounded at the Committee’s sheer stupidity. For ponies in academia, they should have known better.
And that’s when Blueblood had even had time to solicit donations. Much of his time had been preoccupied. In 2002, a deranged student had walked into a Magic High School classroom and used a fire spell to burn the classroom to the ground. Seven young fillies and colts and two teachers had perished, twenty were severely burnt, and the entire East Wing of the school suffered fire damage. It was a national tragedy which stuck in the public’s mind for years. (Two years to be exact, until a stallion with a bolt-action rifle shot a dozen students at a school in Vanhoover in 2004, at which point everypony forgot about the massacre at Celestia’s School.)
Not to Blueblood’s surprise, the arsonist student had been viciously bullied and wrote a note that he wanted to “get even” with his classmates. But nooooo, bullying still wasn’t a problem serious enough to warrant expulsion for, apparently! That is, unless physical contact was involved on multiple occasions. By which time, as the massacre demonstrated, it might be too late.
Rather than learn from this tragedy and do the sensible thing, Princess Celestia simply added more friendship classes to the course requirements, even though the arsonist in question had taken two. Prince Blueblood also had to go through the arduous task of rebuilding the destroyed section of the school and hiring new teachers. He surmised that the name of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns had been somewhat tainted by the incident; new enrollment dropped significantly in the years afterwards. As enrollment dropped so did tuition revenue, which did not help given the fiscal issues.
For these and a host of other reasons, Blueblood was sick and tired of his job after eighteen years of it. He glanced at the grandfather clock on his wall. Only three more hours to go and he could leave.
Suddenly, he heard a knocking at the door. He got up from his desk and went to open it. Before he reached the door, however, he glanced himself in the mirror. Blueblood's mane was clumped and sweaty from working in his hot office, and his suit was disheveled. He suppressed a screech at seeing his own horrid appearance.
My, I look dreadful! I can't be seen like this! he thought.
In apprehension, he floated an ivory comb through his golden mane. Not quite right, he thought. Perhaps if I style it back… After a few seconds of fiddling with his mane he was finally confident in his appearance.
Now, that settles the hair. Good. But… oh dear, my bowtie! He magically twiddled the blue bowtie until it was straightened. He would have worn a regular necktie, but he believed the bowtie made him look like a distinguished academic. In reality, it probably just made him look like a dork.
What about all of this lint!? Blueblood’s keen eye spotted hundreds of threads of hair, dust, and all manner of particulate matter strewn about his suit. In Blueblood’s eyes, the small lint particles might as well have been red wine stains or cigarette burns. He grabbed a lint-roller and went to work.
Though some ponies who knew Blueblood thought he was a narcissist, he hardly believed himself to be self-obsessed. He simply wanted his outward appearance to match the knowledge and competence he knew he had within.
My, I look dreadful! What if this pony at the door is a donor, or a professor, or a superintendent, or—
A yellow aura surrounded the doorknob and the door swung open as Princess Celestia walked in.
—Or just the Princess. Blueblood set the lint roller back down. Thankfully, his boss and distant royal relative was hardly an appearance or formality-obsessed pony. Blueblood could've probably come to work naked, and she wouldn’t have batted an eye.
“What can I do for you, Princess?” Blueblood asked, motioning for her to sit down. The Princess sat down and shifted around in her chair. She glanced around the room furtively, her pupils wide. Blueblood had met with the princess hundreds of times regarding academic matters, but had never seen her display this emotion. Upon contemplation, he was pretty sure that she was nervous.
“Did you receive my letter, Blueblood?” she asked.
Prince Blueblood recalled reading a letter from the Princess earlier that day in which she said that she had urgent personal business to discuss with him. Though the two royal family members were never particularly close, he agreed to talk with her mostly out of curiosity as to what could possibly cause her to reach out to him, of all ponies, regarding a personal matter.
“Yes, Princess Celestia, I read it.”
"Good, so you know that I have a personal matter to discuss with you."
"Yes."
The Princess paused for a few moments before she continued, "You see… well, there is no easy way to say this.”
“No easy way to say what?” Blueblood asked. Now he was REALLY curious.
"Prince Blueblood, over the past several months I have been having health issues. I've been sick more often, and have felt weakened. I've been to several doctors and specialists, and they've determined that I have a degenerative condition. Though which condition, they don't know. But I have to come to terms with it..."
"With what, Celestia?"
She paused a moment, before saying, “I am dying, Prince Blueblood. My doctors estimate that I have three years left at the most.”
Blueblood’s hair stood on end. Great, now he’d have to comb it back down again.
“You are obviously one of the first ponies that I’ve told about this, but I will be making it public within about six months.” Celestia lowered her head.
“Princess… I… I’m so sorry to hear that.” Like almost every other pony alive, he had no memory of a time when Celestia was not raising the sun and ruling on her throne from Canterlot. Though he had his disagreements with the Princess in the past over academic issues, he was still quite shocked and saddened to hear the news that his royal relative was dying.
“That’s quite alright, Prince Blueblood. I know that the two of us aren't all that close, but I wanted you to hear it from me personally. But I am content with what I have done with my life. I have ruled and have kept this kingdom safe and prosperous for hundreds of years. I don’t think anypony alive could have done a better job. I am quite at peace and ready to pass on.”
“What about Princess Luna?” Prince Blueblood asked.
“She will still raise the moon, and I will appoint a royal successor to my throne to raise the sun. In fact, I will be appointing somepony who has walked the halls of this this very school.”
“Yes?” Prince Blueblood’s heart skipped a beat.
“Someone who is quite magically gifted, and quite smart.”
“Yes?” His pupils dilated.
“Someone who has the ability to do lots of paperwork and manage a lot of ponies, as the position requires.”
“Yes?” A single bead of sweat dripped from his forehead and he started to grin.
“Someone who has demonstrated leadership capabilities in times of crisis, times of uncertainty, and even in times of death.”
“Yeeeessss?” Blueblood said, leaning over his desk and gazing directly into the Princess's eyes. He was finally going to get out of this dead-end job! He was going to be a KING! He would raise the sun every day! He would—
“I am pleased to tell you that I shall be appointing Twilight Sparkle as my successor.”
His heart sank and he fell back into his chair with a thud. “Oh… that’s… um, great! Good for her! I’m so pleased to know that a graduate of this school is going to be a princess!” Blueblood said through clenched teeth and a plastic smile.
Twilight Sparkle!? She isn’t even a princess! How can she even take the throne!? How could—
As if reading his mind, Celestia responded, “I will thus be coronating her as a princess. I have already cast the spell to turn her into an alicorn. She has demonstrated quite a bit of magical prowess and leadership capabilities, so I determined she would be a good candidate for leadership. Though I am saddened at my own imminent passing, I am pleased that such a qualified pony as Twilight will be able to take my place. The Coronation will be this Saturday, if you wanted to come watch."
"Yes, I will have to do that..." Prince Blueblood muttered.
The Princess stood up out of her chair. She said, "Well, anyway, I have to go and lower the sun. Even though I am very weakened, that is still one thing that I can occasionally do without Princess Luna's help. I’ll see you at the Coronation event this Saturday. Thanks for being there for me and her, Prince Blueblood.”
“Oh yes…” Blueblood muttered. Princess Celestia walked out the door, until Blueblood called out to her.
“But, Princess, who will take over this school? It is named for you, after all. Will Twilight take it over or will you—“
“Oh, I’m sure that we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Don’t worry, it will still be open. Just keep doing what you’ve been doing,” she said, and closed the door behind her.
“But what about our funding, our curriculum—“ he started, but she was already out of earshot.
Once he was certain that Princess Celestia was out of hearing range, he levitated a seat cushion over to himself and screamed into it. Though he was a grown adult, a few tears came to his eyes.
The princess was dying and appointing TWILIGHT SPARKLE as her successor!? Twilight Sparkle, the same pony who nearly destroyed Ponyville when she had enchanted a doll with dangerous, forbidden mind-control magic? And received a mere slap on the wrist for it? Twilight, the same pony whose friends quite literally crashed the Grand Galloping Gala? Twilight, who was in her early twenties and was still a young mare by all definitions?
Maybe I am being too hard on her; she did save Ponyville and Equestria on numerous occasions, he thought to himself. Maybe… but she did that in concert with five friends. She did not deserve any more credit for saving Equestria than the others who had wielded the Elements of Harmony alongside her. Not only that, but Princess Celestia and Princess Luna could have easily done the same and wielded the elements themselves. Prince Blueblood was magically gifted himself, and had no doubt he too could wield the element of magic if it was required of him.
He fumed for a few more minutes about this, and then calmed down. But then he remembered how dismissive Celestia had been about her own school, and he became enraged once more. This was HER school, but Blueblood seemed to take more pride in it than SHE did!
Does she even care about the school at all? He wondered. She certainly doesn’t care about the curriculum, or the funding. That’s abundantly clear. She may shed tears at public memorials but she doesn’t actually care about the bullying or the lives lost to it in that horrible massacre, either, or she’d let me expel these bullies.
Why did Celestia bother to even run a school for gifted unicorns if she did not take an interest in it? The only reason that Blueblood could think of was the scrolls in the Canterlot Archives which only graduates of the school could access. That and, as was now apparent, she probably needed a place to groom the successor to her throne when one would be needed. Perhaps that was why she was so dismissive of his concerns. She now no longer cared. Why would she spend money funding her school when she had picked a successor years ago? Was the school’s sole purpose to find a successor?
Then why not shut it down? He wondered. If it were simply a royalty-grooming school, why would Celestia have kept it open once she realized that Twilight was princess material? Also, surely the Princess wouldn’t have kept the school open for over 1,000 years just to appoint a single successor. It must serve some other purpose besides just a place to find an heir. But what could it be? Why did Princess Celestia own a school for gifted unicorns? And why just unicorns? She didn’t have a School For Gifted Pegasi or a School For Gifted Earth Ponies. In fact, she didn’t have any other schools at all. There were public schools which she funded, but those were run and owned by local governments. Why did this school exist?
He thought of the motto of the school, “Unicórnis magnam monitis animos magicales.” All it meant was “teaching great unicorn magical minds.” Obviously that’s what the school did, but why? He had asked Princess Celestia when he took the Dean’s chair why she had a school for unicorns rather than earth ponies or pegasi. She had told him that she thought magic was very special and she wanted to encourage learning of it. But he didn’t really buy that explanation. Especially since magic education in Equestria’s public schools was severely lacking. Most unicorns didn’t even know how to teleport!
Blueblood figured that he should know, both out of curiosity and because he was the dean, after all. Blueblood left his office and walked off towards the library, determined to find out the reason his school existed. What he found, however, would shock him.