Oh man. I hope I'm stable enough mentally and emotionally to get through all of this.
As you can probably tell, this story was cancelled a long time ago by fanfiction standards. And since it had been some time ago and I haven't even attempted to finish it, along with the idea that now is the time to exorcise my demons from these stories once and for all, it was time to address it.
First, let's talk about what was going to happen in the rest of the story.
After the funeral, Apple Bloom would have grown deeply attached to Fluttershy, since her soft personality was what the filly needed at such a dark time in her life. In short, she would have also tried to figure out her future, and Fluttershy would have tried to encourage her to do what her heart desired.
But then Apple Bloom would have seen that production on Sweet Apple Acres had lagged behind, now that Applejack was gone. Big Mac worked as hard as he could, but it wasn't enough. So Apple Bloom would have felt pressure to fill in Applejack's boots, and it would have had her self destruct as a result. She didn't hang out with her friends as much, she was busy doing something the viewer knew shouldn't be her life goal, so on.
The end parts of the story would have her realize how wrong she was, and it would have ended with her getting her cutie mark in the end.
Maybe it would have been another big hit for me. But this time, my emotions got the better of me. Just like with the previous story Within The Seas of The Galaxies, I had a lot of rough patches with it.
To be honest with you, I came into it thinking this would be my masterpiece, the thing that would elevate me among pony writers. My own version of My Little Dashie to be precise.
And in the end...yeah, to say that I felt awful about the resutls would have been an understatement. I am not angry or blame anyone for this as much as myself. It's clear this fandom does like sad stories, so I can't fault the premise.
Yet....I felt a little mad at myself, because those that did like the story really liked it. And that's part of the reason why I'm typing this. I apologize that I couldn't finish it for you guys and let you down on that front. The fact that I finished WIthin The Seas, another rough to make fanfic, does not excuse something like this.
So that said...yeah, that was not a very good experience. This caused me to quit fanfiction for a while, and part of the reason why I left pony fanfiction later down the road, though that can always change.
It had haunted me for years, but hopefully I can leave it all behind. It would be nice if I stopped crying about it. And I think, when I hit submit on this chapter, I can say that the tears are over.