//------------------------------// // I'm Telling You Why (Prompt #209) // Story: Thirty-ish Minute Pony Stories // by Abecedarian //------------------------------// TMP Prompt #209 - “Naughty or Nice” Prompt: You better watch out… - I’m Telling You Why “Thou art still doing this?” “It’s not me, it’s ‘Santa Hoof’. Now, have you seen my hat?” “Surely ‘tis most tiresome delivering toys and treats to everypony in Equestria?” “I’m more powerful than when we were kids, but…yes, it can be a bit of a strain, especially now that I’ve branched out into Griffonheim and Zebrica.” “Why should it be thee, alone? Mayhap the Elements could be of aid?” “Hm.” *** “Welp, Ah hope alla ya’ll enjoy yer apple fritters, an’ apple candies, an’ apple cider. Remember, Santa Hoof gets all her apples at Sweet Apple Acres. Tell yer parents ta go there fer all their apple needs. That’s Sweet Apple Acres, okay? AB, hand out those brochures.” “On it, sis—I mean, Santa!” *** “Alright! Who’s up for another round of ‘Good Princess Platinum’?” “Miss Hoof! It’s almost midnight and we need to sleep!” “Don’t be silly! It’s not like tomorrow’s a school night! Have yourself some more cake and soda and you’ll feel great!” “Urp! I’m ‘onna be sick!” “Not in the punch bowl, okay? I invited everypony in your neighborhood over for the biggest party ever!” “You did what?” *** “And that concludes the history of Hearth’s Warming Day. Any questions? Are you still awake? Oh, dear.” “Uh, Twilight? Maybe we oughta move on to the, uh, ‘presents’.” “SNNX-wha? Presents?! Who said ‘presents‘?” “Yes, sweetie, presents. Quite practical and sensible ones, if I do say so myself. Spike, if you will?” “I’m so, so sorry. Here you go.” “I can’t wait to—The heck is this?” “It’s a sweater! Judging from past climate data, Equestria’s about to undergo a cooling period, leading to a longer and somewhat chillier winter, so a sweater’s the perfect gift.” “It’s kind of, um…ugly…” “Oh, you say that now, but extrapolating from twenty years of past trends, fuschia and pea-soup green are going to be an ideal color combination by the time you grow into it. It‘ll take about six years, but you‘re ahead of the crowd!” “…” “What do you think?” “…Thank you for the sweater, ma’am.” “Oh, there’s no need to thank me.” “There really isn’t. Once again, I‘m sorry.” “Come on, Spike! We’ve got eight more crates of these to go!” “Why couldn’t I have gone with Rarity?” *** “Oh, Miss Hoof! It’s beautiful!” “Thank you, sweetheart. It was kind of a rush job, but I think it turned out quite well.” “Can I try it on right now?” “Feel free! I do so hope—Oh, my.” “What is it?” “You look simply divine, but it seems my helper dropped a couple of stitches, and got your size wrong, to boot.” “Sorry, Santa Sis!” “Off with it, dear, and I shall see if I can make a couple of adjustments. Hm…well, oh dear, dear, dear. I can hardly blame Sweetie for this one. I‘ll have to…let‘s see…and then I…right, right…be a love and fetch me a needle and thread, would you?” “Miss Hoof?” “And some tea? I think I’m going to be here a while. Heavens, what was I thinking—?” *** Now, scorpions may look a little scary, but they’re actually rather sweet and gentle. I think you and Pinchy and Mr. Sting-Butt will—Where’d they go?” “M-Miss Hoof?” “Oh! They only crawl on your face if they like you! Isn‘t that great? You‘re friends already!” “Help!” “Now, keep in mind, you’ve got to watch out for their claws. They probably won’t sting you, and if they do, you’ll be fine as long as you get to the hospital right away.” “Mom-eeeeeeeeee!” *** BOOOOOM! “My wall! You wrecked my wall!” “And broke every window in town, yeah. Collateral damage, you know. Heh! Just bill it to Princess Celestia.” “Um, is that really okay?” “’Course it is, Scoots! She’s the one who asked us to do this, right? More importantly, I hear there‘s a couple of Wonderbolts fans living here!” “Yaay!” “…it’s-it’s not just my wall…Great Celestia, you destroyed half my house…” “Here ya go, kiddies! Wonderbolts playsets!” “Thanks, Santa Hoof!” “Wait a second! Somepony opened mine already! It was supposed to come with Spitfire!” “And mine oughta have Soarin’!” “…my house…” “Oh, wow. That is a mystery. Scootaloo? Do you know what happened?” “Why no, Santa Hoof. Oh, look! I do have an awesome action figure, though. You can have her, guys.” “Who’s this?” “It’s Rainbow Dash!” “Who?” “Rainbow Dash, for pony’s sake! Best Young Flyer two years running? Element of Loyalty?” “…Who?” “Just…just write the Wonderbolts and tell ‘em she’s awesome, okay?” “…honey? Honey, are you okay? Say something! I can’t find you…” “Wait a second, Miss Hoof. Isn’t this you?” “Well, time to go! Hang on, Scoots!” “’Time to’—Oh, gosh, kids, duck!” BOOOOOOM! *** “Certes, the Elements would be most pleased to learn of thy abiding faith in them.” “Well, these are worst-case scenarios.” “I have an excellent idea!” *** “ALL IS INDEED CALM AND BRIGHT ON THIS MOST WONDROUS NIGHT! LO, A PLATE OF SNICKERDOODLES! A VERTIABLE FEAST! NOTHING TO DRINK!? FORTUNATELY, I HAVE BROUGHT A LIBATION OF MINE OWN—” “Santa Hoof?” “COME, CHILD, AND PARTAKE WITH ME!” “Um, is that alcohol? I’m too young to drink that.” “’TOO YOUNG‘? BAH! ART THOU NOT THREE-AND-TEN? IN MY DAY, THOU WOULDST HAVE BEEN MORE THAN OLD ENOW TO SIT AT THE ADULTS’ TABLE AND HEAR TALES OF THE GLORIES OF HEARTH’S WARMINGS LONG, LONG AGO! DRINK, LAD, AND HEAR A TALE OF CONQUEST AND CELEBRATION!” *** “What dost thou think?” “…Just help me find my hat, okay?”