//------------------------------//
// Flailing 
// Story: Siren Song 
// by TheDarkStarCzar 
//------------------------------//

	Clues that eluded Twilight Sparkle's systematic and thorough search were turned up by fortuitous but devoted mediocrity as the reservist's search of the reserve base netted the remains of the Elements of Harmony's previous settings. It became known that after the stones were removed they'd been trampled into a flat lump and the twisted, golden remnants were discarded into the latrine.

The soiled mass, when presented to Twilight Sparkle caused a frightful and energetic reaction, the power of which broke several windows and blew the leaves entirely off the library. It wasn't bad enough to steal the Elements, Mom had also managed to desecrate them before disappearing without a trace.

Searching the base for any further clues was a bust.

Since I couldn't bring it up and nopony else either mentioned it or led any inquiry in that direction, I was still in the dark as to who had sent an agent to seek me out and why. With the many other mysteries swirling around I mostly forgot about it, memories of the ill fated pony festering in the dim recesses of my unconscious with their dark brethren.





Letter exchanges with Princess Celestia ensued, their overriding theme seemed to be that she had faith in her student and trusted her to resolve the situation.

Twilight Sparkle, though appreciative of the faith her mentor put in her was practically seething for any manner of regal intervention, but refused to ask for it in any direct manner. In dancing around the issue in missive form the Princess took Twilight to be asking for martial assistance and so gave her supreme jurisdiction over the very reserve division that my mother had commanded.

Decidedly the added responsibility of a military commander heaped on her shoulders was the last possible thing Twilight wanted, needed, or had any capability to handle, but a certain loyal friend of hers stepped up to take on the challenge.





Rainbow Dash had admitted that the Wonderbolts weren't exactly a normal military outfit, but the lessons she'd learned there made her the closest thing to a commander available. She knew the language and protocols she laid it on thick, much to the chagrin of the unit.

It turned out that the Ponyville Reserve had been more of an old colt's club during Sea Breeze's reign than a functional military unit.


"What about the readiness tests? How could you pass the requirements if none of you ever trained like you were supposed to?" Rainbow demanded hotly.


"Some of us did train. But mostly she forged the results and doctored the medical exams, ma'am." One of the supposed soldiers offered, "She told us it would be okay because we were a deterrent, not a real army, and all we had to do was present an image of a ready fighting force to be effective, so we just kind of went along with it."


"None of you saw anything wrong with that?" Rainbow glared at her inherited troops who at least had the decency to look properly ashamed.


"Ma'am, you have to keep in mind that very few of us are holdovers from when she first took command. Only the lieutenants here," The soldier indicated a pair of stallions who wore white dress shirts which held gold braid indicating their superior rank. Neither of them looked like they were grateful for the attention, "were around back then, and they were just privates. We just took for granted that the military was a big show and it was like this all over. We truthfully didn't know any better and it would have been career suicide to try and change it...plus it was a pretty sweet deal for us, all things considered."


Another soldier spoke up, "We're not by any means professional soldiers and I think I speak for most of us when I say that we were mainly in it for the extra bits. I mean it's quite a bit of scratch for a weekend a month training and a month a year on duty. That being said we took an oath when we signed up and we'll stand by it. If you believe we can be worthy of it, we're yours to command."


"Bucking A right you're mine to command." Rainbow snarled, "What's your name soldier?"


"Keen Edge." The stallion replied and I recognized him to be Peachy Sweet's husband. He had a brown coat and tufted green mane which along with his hatchet cutie mark made me believe he was a woodcutter. Peachy Sweet hadn't brought up what he did when the guard didn't need him. He was quite a handsome stallion and looked a good, earnest fit for Peachy Sweet.


"Keen Edge? Alright, you're Lieutenant now, pick another pony you trust to do the job and they'll be one too." Rainbow Dash turned on the two former officers, "You two are demoted to stay-the buck-away-from-me patrol, got it?"


"You can't do that." The left most one said with an arrogant chortle.


"If you mean I don't have the authority you're wrong. I am your new commander, second hoof or not, by Princess Celestia's decree. Now if you mean I won't come right over there and buck you into next Tuesday then you just try me and see where that gets you." Rainbow shuffled her wings in agitation, "See, here's the thing that irks me about this, your fellow soldiers should have known better but they didn't. You did know better and you just played along."
"It's dishonorable, despicable and the crooked commander you covered for all these years skipped out with the Elements of Harmony, so the way I see it you two have got a lot of blame waiting to come down on you like an avalanche. For right now you just need to get away from me before I do something you'll regret, understood?"


The one former lieutenant was an older stallion and evidently used to getting his own way as he was winding up for a snarky reply, I could see it in his eyes, but his partner saw it too and hoofed him hard in the ribs. Muttering, "Understood, ma'am." He dragged his comrade out the door with him, presumably to lay low until this blew over a bit.


"As for the rest of you," Rainbow announced, "Take the Ponyville directory, split it up amongst you and check with everypony in your section to see if they know anything about Sea Breeze. When they last saw her, where she was headed, who she talked to, anything you can get. Be polite, but be thorough. A lot's riding on this. Dismissed."


It did my heart good to see that the newly minted lieutenant partnered up with another likely looking colt and they set about organizing the search and doling out sections of the dismembered directory with alacrity and expediency. His diligence may have simply been credited to a healthy fear of Rainbow Dash, however.

In her element and in command Rainbow Dash was a beautiful and terrible force, truly a wonder to observe and the troops were scrambling over each other to avoid disappointing her. I wondered if she ran the weather patrol in a similar manner.




For my part I was pretty useless since I couldn't even ask anypony about Sea Breeze directly without her spell kicking in. Even with Zecora's help we had yet to lift it and it made it impractical to  participate in the search in anything resembling a useful capacity.

This being the case I resolved to go back to the boarding house and maybe write for a while to pass the time. I hadn't been back since my release from the asylum and if nothing else I should check in with Peachy Sweet. I would have loved to give her the gossip about what happened today, but the spell would censor it down to gibberish so it was hardly worth trying. She'd know soon enough anyway, I suppose, so I collected Cappy and headed back.





After a protracted conversation with Peachy Sweet, that was unavoidably full of lapses and omissions on my side, I returned to my room. The first thing I noticed was that somepony had straightened up. The second thing I noticed was that my painting now hung on the wall next to the original one and it had been repaired.

I examined it closely. The scratch had been expertly filled in and reshaded. It looked good as new and the repair could only be seen by it's slightly differing sheen.

Last I remember of it I was in Mother's office, with the initial intention of getting it repaired, but what had happened to it after that and how had it been returned.? Who did this? I wondered, but then noticed down at the corner an initial that hadn't been there before. 'S.S.' it read in neat crimson lettering, which pretty much meant that Mom had repaired the painting and presumably came here and hung it up for me.


"Buck."


Weird thing to do for a daughter you've just relegated to the asylum.

I hadn't hung the painting originally because I didn't want to go punching holes in Peachy Sweet's walls so I took the painting down and checked behind it. A small finish nail was angled into the paneled wall, I could patch it pretty easy with dark wood filler when I left, no problem. I turned to pick the painting back up and set it back in place and I noticed crimson lettering on the back.

All the blood drained from my face when I examined it and instantly recognized it as latitude and longitude, directions to someplace, presumably where Mom was headed if it could be trusted. Yet, how could I tell anypony about it?

I couldn't. It may as well not have been written at all and she had to have known that. Maybe it was just a cruel joke?

How could I believe the coordinates and why would she tell me so blatantly anyway? It was just maddening in every sense of the word. Despite all her failings, and they had to be quite glaring to anypony by now, she had always had a quirky sense of humor that didn't abandon her in even the direst circumstances.

Very funny, Mom.

I scribbled the coordinates down on a slip of paper and started off towards the library. I didn't make it but a few feet before an overwhelming compulsion forced me to go back and rehang the painting.

I guess the spell was worried that somepony would see it if I left it laying around? I was still uncertain about the specific terms of the spell. It surprised me, for instance, that it let me copy down the coordinates while it wouldn't, for instance, let me discuss a hypothetical search for a fictional rogue pony.

I'd tried. It was a condition that managed to make me seem more sullen than I already try to be. This was made more evident when I finally did make it to the library. Twilight Sparkle, Spike and Fluttershy (who I'd really not been properly introduced to yet) saw me enter, nodded to me but made no attempt to speak to me.

In my mind I was a deaf mute already and I was fine with it.


I searched the oak shelves and found a relatively current atlas. Ten years old, I noticed, a bit disgusted. A library really should keep it's reference material up to date.
I could have gone back home and asked Peachy Keen and I bet he'd have a more current one for his schoolwork.

I guess all the latitude lines are likely to have stayed in the same place, though, so I flipped to the index and located the page for a detailed map.

It was of the Western Stirropean countries.
Lining up the coordinates indicated a moderately sized town deep in the Griffon empire.
Celestia damn it. This better be a joke.


"Did you find something?" Came a voice over my shoulder and my magic flared unbidden to snap the book shut. If Twilight had just thought to sneak up on me and read over my shoulder maybe we would have gotten somewhere, "Oh, I see." she said sheepishly, "What are those?"


I looked to where she was pointing and saw the slip of paper I'd written the coordinates on engulfed in a dim magical aura. My aura. The numbers, though they kept their format, alternated like a slot machine and when they stopped were a nonsensical set of digits. 


"Coordinates? Were those where you think your mother is?" I made my usual non-answer. Twilight was momentarily stumped for a solution. It was enough of a clue for somepony, though.


"Ooh!" A happy voice chirped, "We get to play the guessing game again!"


Where had Pinkie come from? Had I missed her when I came in?


"I don't think you can," Twilight told the unaccountably materialized pink mare, "Since the spell's on you too, I don't see how that would work."


"Easy cheesy, I'll just guess digits and you write them down." Pinkie said and proceeded to do just that. The trouble was that I didn't remember them all and I got the whole thing muddled somewhere in the middle.


"Well that's disappointing." Twilight grumbled, "But something I've noticed, when I accidentally close a book without marking the page it will usually open back up to the page that I was last one. Let's try that."


Twilight opened to book, seemingly at random. It was a page off but she flipped it, questioned me and through my usual response knew that was the one I was on. She got me to pick a map quadrant and then she started picking off town names in Eagleland.


"Birdingham?"


"Nope." I answered.


"Coveytree?"


"No."


"Griffonsburg...huh, that's sort of like Ponyville isn't it?"


"No and yes." I replied and further responded, "I've never been all that thrilled with all the equine puns, either. It seems a bit forced."


"The way I heard it Luna named some of the earliest towns when she was still a foal and the theme just kind of stuck. Celestia didn't want to stifle her creativity." Twilight grimaced, "I've always discounted that as an old mare's tale, but I've been afraid to ask, really. Doesn't really explain why the griffons did it too."


"Whatever!" Pinkie chimed in, "You two are such stick in the muds! I for one love a good pun. The only thing I like more than a pun is a rhyme!"


"You must get on with Zecora very well." I said snidely. Pinkie just beamed and nodded, my sarcasm wasted.


"How about..." This went on for a while as Twilight picked names only to get a negative response and friendly heckling where it could be given, eventually she made it to, "West Aerie?"


"I can't say." I said and was well pleased to be done with the questioning. Whether Pinkie counted it as a game or not it was nothing but boring and frustrating to me. Not being in control of one's own voice was infuriating.


"Okay, good." Twilight said, non-plussed, then grabbed another book from off the shelf and set it down before us and read aloud, "West Aerie is situated on the slopes of the White Pass range. Originally a resort town frequented by griffon nobles during the summer months it has evolved into a university town with three separate institutions and numerous technical schools. It is well established as the most esteemed center of learning in the Griffon Empire. Population, eighty eight thousand covering  some forty five square miles. Huh, well at least I'll get to visit a griffon library, or three."


"So...we're going to Eagleland?" Fluttershy meekly asked. She'd been listening in all this time, almost invisible and only just now reminded everypony of her presence.


"I don't know." Twilight muttered and turned to face me, "We still need to find out how Sea Swirl came by this information."


I dropped my head on the table, "No! No more questions, it's exhausting. Give me a break!"


"But we can't just cross the ocean on a hunch." Twilight said reasonably. I shrugged and did a zip-your-lips spell on myself so as to communicate my intransigence. Important or not I couldn't put up with another minute of tedious questions and as far as I was concerned they'd need further supporting evidence before it would be remotely worthwhile anyway, so I clammed up. I intended to stay that way too, possibly forever, but Rainbow Dash chose that moment to burst through the door.


"You guys! You guys!" She hollered excitedly, "Somepony did see her leave town, Lyra! She knew Sea Swirl was looking for her and was afraid she was going to skip town. When she saw her pass by near the station with her saddlebags stuffed chock full she tailed her. She checked with the agent to see where she was headed so she could tell her later, but it was the day Sea Swirl turned up in the asylum so she didn't have the chance."


Way to go Lyra! I'm going to buy her so many tattered harp cases, I thought.


Spike watched the animated pegasus' tirade then piped up, "The suspense is killing me so just tell us, is she headed to Eagleland or not?"


"Eagleland? By train?" Rainbow asked, puzzled, "She was headed to Manehattan. I've sent a bunch of the reserve after her to try and dig up any trace they can of her. I'll have them check the shipyards and intercontinental blimps with a fine tooth comb if you really think she's headed that way."


"We think it's a possibility." Twilight said, "She's a slippery one, though, we need to know for sure. We have to know it's not just a ruse or a distraction."


Rainbow Dash saluted, "I'm on it! I'll get the word out!" With that she was gone again to send messages ahead to her troops. It seemed to me that she relished having troops at her command and I wondered if it might not be hard for her to give up the reins once this whole debacle came to it's bitter end. If we were headed overseas it might do to have a cohort of our own, but what would the griffons think of that?


I unzipped my lips, "What do you actually know about griffons?"


"I did a little research on the subject after one of Rainbow Dash's friends, a griffon, visited and caused quite a ruckus." Twilight started pedantically, "Interestingly it's a cultural norm for griffons to be rude and sarcastic, they're known for it across the world and some even find it charming. They can be described as haughty as well, but in the big picture they've acted civilly and we have a strict treaty of alliance with them."
"We may even be able to count on some level of cooperation, but I'm not going to be the pony to tell a rival nation that our ultimate deterrent has gone rogue somewhere in their nation. I'll have to write to the Princess to ask how to proceed on that bit."


Pinkie Pie chimed in, "I know they take themselves too seriously, at least the ones that I've met. Maybe if we go clear to Eagleland I'll be able to make friends with some who aren't such party poopers, it would be great to have more griffon friends!"

Fluttershy wrinkled her nose and stepped forward, saying softly, "I know they're carnivores with big sharp claws and huge beaks that eat poor defenseless rodents. They scare me almost as much as dragons, oh please Twilight! I don't want to go to Eagleland, I just know they'll gobble us all right up!"


"Relax." I chuckled, "They don't eat ponies and so long as you can survive their bad manners you'll be fine. Also, they eat a lot of the same stuff we do, minus the hay and flowers. I know they'll eat rabbits and squirrels..." Flutteryshy blanched and made a fearful squeak at that, "But mostly they eat fish. Actually one of them got me to try salmon one time, it's not bad, I guess, but it's pretty greasy and it smells funny."


"Yuck." Twilight and Pinkie said in unison. Fluttershy stared slack jawed and immobile, I think I saw a single tear roll down her cheek.


"Hey! I was young and it was only the one time!" As had become the norm I had more knowledge of the situation that I would say. This time it was my own choice, however, and not the spell.

The truth is that I dated a griffon for half a year. Admittedly he was a loser but he had a bad boy vibe that really turned me on. Also, so as to be clear, by 'dated' I mean drank, smoked and screwed around with, but that's a whole different story. One that I'll not be telling just now, or maybe ever.

He told me all he could think of about his own native land and in the end said that as exotic as it sounded it was a lot more like Equestria than the Zebra's society or even the Saddle Arabians. Second hoof knowledge, all of it, but it made me feel I had the superior understanding.


"I don't see what the big deal is." Spike said as horror bloomed in Twilight's eyes and he failed to heed her signals for him to shut up, "I've eaten fish, it's okay. It smells funny but otherwise it just tastes like chicken."


A pregnant silence hung and with that we dropped the discussion of the Griffon Empire and I took it as a prime opportunity to leave.


"Like chicken?" I heard Fluttershy gasp as the door swung shut. It seemed to really upset her for some reason that I didn't yet comprehend, having just met her myself.


I headed back towards home while they continued their various research and contemplations of remedial dragon training.





I came to know later that the Element Bearers all met together that night at sugarcube corner after closing time. It's likely that they were debating the merits of my further involvement in what was decidedly shaping itself up to be a quest.

As I've mentioned, being enchanted in the way that I was made me useless for research and in many practical situations as well. Also, despite our being on friendly terms at the moment and Pinkie's assertion that she was my best friend, I was an outsider to the little group. More than anypony I felt this and both expected and would have understood if they had left me out of their plans.

What I heard from Applejack when we had a bit of a heart to heart later on, was that Twilight Sparkle was the one who insisted I be let in on the mission. I thought, maybe, that it was guilt over the dismissive way she'd treated me early on, but that didn't seem to be the case.

Sea Breeze had ostensibly been Twilight's friend and a good friend at that. When the disappearances happened she was right there to help and that had brought them together. They worked side by side for weeks and so completely had she fooled Twilight that she had no inkling that Sea Breeze's motives were anything but noble.
She blamed herself for not seeing through her deceptions and the things that could have been prevented if she had.

Applejack told me that she thought Twilight wanted me along so that I might have my revenge on my mother as a surrogate for her own feelings of betrayal. Ignoble as that sounded at least it got me a spot as a tag-along, because logically there wasn't much of a reason besides that for me to be there.

That was my in. The whole of it. I was meant to be Twilight Sparkle's proxy for vengeance.





I got waylaid on the way back home in a good way that night and spent the night drinking and partying with Lyra and Bon Bon. Hanging about with a musician and candy maker beat out their fraught little conclave anyday. Even if it hadn't gone in my favor I wouldn't have regretted it and it was the last chance I got to see those two for some considerable time.