Stepping back onto the cobbled street, the odd tension of the sweet shop was burned away by the sun's gentle caress, but it still left me puzzled. That mare's reactions implied a great many things that my mind was, at the moment, too scattered to understand. Maybe this Twilight Sparkle had the answers that Pinkie Pie couldn't give.
I could see a large and likely tree in the distance that rose above the rooftops majestically, only to be pinnacled by a rickety looking wooden platform to which a telescope was mounted. Even from a distance which rendered it misty I was ready to call out the platform's shoddy construction. I assumed (correctly) that beneath it was the library in question, it was too large an edifice to be some colt's tree fort.
I sighed. That short encounter with Pinkie Pie had taken a lot out of me and I was starting to get irrationally irritated. Not the best time to meet somepony new so I figured I might as well see about a room at Peachy Sweet's boarding house before it got too late.
To retrieve Cappy he first had to be unwound from the waterpump since he'd looped around it and under it's barbs and protuberances in some Gordian pattern.
It used to be that I used a thick rope but he discovered he could chew through it until I soaked it in bitter apple extract. He built up a tolerance and I had to switch to leather, then to a steel cable which he would chew anyway and tear up his gums. It made me feel terribly guilty but I didn't know what else to do. His innate tenacity kept him at the hopeless task and I feared switching to any manner of chain, it would likely break his teeth.
It seemed to me like his tangling himself up like this was his retribution and I had little choice but to slowly thread the lead apart, retracing his confined and circuitous wanderings.
I had musical accompaniment for my task, I realized. A rambunctious little melody that I recognized from school plays jangled towards me, though it took a moment for me to recall what it was since it was usually played on a saxophone rather than a lyre. It was a comic piece, usually reserved for disorganized chase scenes but it was now directed at me, an offensive melodic commentary on of my task.
I vacillated between the calm, harmonic pony I wished I were and the brash Easterner who wanted to tell this musician to mind her business.
Predictably, I chose the low road, walked over to the grinning mint green mare, well pleased with her little joke and cruelly kicked over her case, scattering her collected bits across the cobbles. I ignored her indignant outcries and led Cappy off with a nasty smile on my own face.
The smile was false, of course. An indication of how I thought I should have felt and an indictment of my own idiotic actions, but I was still riding a minor crest of rage and adrenaline. In my nervous shame I spun momentarily to meet the lyrist's death glare with a peculiarly Eastern hoof gesture and then resumed my short journey. The whole way I kept my pleased facade while internally chastising myself for my extreme foalishness. She was just trying to be friendly by making light of my stupid dog, I know, but still I felt her unwelcome intrusion justified my actions. That's what I told myself on the surface, even though I didn't believe it for the barest moment.
I hate me so much. Moments like this especially, when the transgression is fresh and the loathing is so overwhelming it shows in my face and I get curious looks from strangers.
Would I go back and apologize like a grown mare? No, but I would tell myself I would and that I should just long enough that it would be to awkward to actually do it. Then I could proceed directly to berating myself about it at irregular intervals for the rest of my life. It would join the already vast arsenal of failings and perceived slights that afflicted me most nights.
Yay, me.
I lost myself in the sparse crowd and stone expanse of Mane street, Cappy dragging behind, trying to stop for every extended hoof that brushed his shaggy coat. Ponies just couldn't help but to stroke his sleek fur, he exuded an innocent good nature, but it took forever to walk the few blocks to the boarding house because of it.
It was clean and well kept with a tasteful and moderate look that I very much appreciated. It's only drawback, as nitpicky as it was, were the high front steps that Cappy balked at. A few words of encouragement and he took a bit of a running start and leapt. Three legs made it, the fourth slipped off the rounded front edge of the steps and he toppled over backwards, back into the street with a startled whine.
It broke my heart, but he was getting on in years and since he panicked when I tried to lift him by magic I was forced to take that heavy black dog awkwardly into my forehooves and climb the steps on two legs.
Having made the effort it would have been disappointing if Peachy Sweet was not as accommodating as Applejack implied, but she was and me and Cappy were quickly established in our spartan, wood paneled room. It's twin bed, tiny writing desk and empty dresser were all of the bland hotel variety. The painting above the bed, however, was a considerably more interesting piece of art than is generally found in such places and I took some time admiring it. It depicted Princess Luna in a monochrome palette, blocked in with bold, sure strokes of a palette knife. The moon was crudely but effectively indicated, it's detail derived from the incomplete mixture of paint from the palette. I was envious of such mastery and incredulous that it was wasted to decorate a boarding house. I resolved to ask Peachy Sweet about it at dinner. I had it in my head just then that I'd like to start a collection of art by unknown young artists and cover every wall of whatever abode my future had in store.
Admittedly my art appreciation had been enhanced at this point by a dip into the stash contained within my saddle bag, but it was still genuine, I assure you. I'd tried painting and failed to achieve any sort of skill at it. My mother, though, I thought was a master and though I can't remember the canvases or what they contained I remember the smell of the linseed oil and thinner and the patter of a broad brush being beaten dry.
By dinner, during which Peachy Sweet justified Applejack's praise of her pies, I'd forgotten to ask about the painting. Afterwards my mood had improved and I took Cappy for a long walk before bed. Even though she'd probably be long gone by now I avoided the area the where the Lyrist had been.
I awoke early, as was my strict habit, did a set of pushups, fed and walked Cappy and took a light breakfast of oatmeal and orange juice in Peachy Sweet's cramped kitchen. Her other boarders had trickled out already or failed to trickle in just yet and I was alone for the moment in the cheerily worn kitchen. It's scarred counters and dented pots and pans spoke of a homely joy and of boundless hospitality, much like the proprietress herself.
The lime coated mare glided effortlessly around me, coordinating several cooking operations while she sighed contentedly at the empty bowl I'd left.
"So what are you up to today?" She asked by way of making conversation, "Going looking for work or did you have other plans?"
I'd told her of my vague ambitions towards gainful employment earlier, but it seemed like such a mom question I had to work hard not to take offense and keep an even tone, "Actually, I was planning to visit the library, I'm kind of looking for some information before I get too far along in the job search."
"Oh, well tell Twilight 'Hi!' from me when you see her. She's such a helpful mare, I'm sure she'll be able to find whatever you're looking for." Peachy Sweet beamed, "Yes ma'am, there's nary a mare I'd rather have on my side than that one and she does love her books, though confidentially, she keeps rather irregular hours for a public library."
"An eccentric old bookworm?" I asked with a smirk.
"Oh, no, I mean yes she's a bit...excitable, at times and she does tend to keep her face buried in a book more often than is healthy, but she's quite a sweet young thing and oh so clever. Just best to get there well before lunch or you may be left waiting for a while." Peachy Sweet confided and I wondered if her nature made it impossible to think harsh thoughts about her fellow ponies.
Looking her over I pegged her as younger than me by a few years but her matronly attitudes forced me to ask in blunt curiosity, "Do you have any foals?"
"Oh yes!" She replied, with an ear to ear grin, "I have three lovely colts! Two of them twins. Before I had them I wanted fillies, but now I couldn't imagine it any other way. They're so smart, it just......"
She continued on from there for ten minutes without a further word from me in response. I looked as attentive and interested as I could until a chink in the wall of words of motherly pride presented itself just long enough for me to scramble to my hooves, saying that I must get on to the library before the day got away from me and slipped away.
My fault for asking, I suppose. I felt bad that I couldn't take much of an interest, but Peachy Sweet hadn't seemed to have caught on and she seemed to take great joy in telling of her progeny's exploits and triumphs. She smiled happily and waved goodbye as I collected Cappy from his shaded spot in the patchy grass yard and led him down the cobbled street.
Twilight Sparkle did not present herself in a manner which I would remotely classify as helpful, or sweet for that matter.
My only fault, so far as I'm concerned, was one of timing. Really though, even if it is her home, as I later found out it was, it's meant to be a public library and it's not really barging in at half past ten on a weekday.
Maybe I should have knocked.
Honestly I just didn't think of it, wouldn't have thought it would be appropriate.
Public building and all.
The scene I entered into was one of a rainbow maned pegasus arguing loudly with the purple unicorn I pegged for a librarian. Her haircut gave it away, I'd say.
They both ceased their bickering and the pegasus looked me up and down impatiently, "Hey, library's closed, give us a minute here." She bluntly demanded.
"I'm sorry, I was just..." I was interrupted by the unicorn's cold glare. Outwardly she just seemed a little perturbed, but what transfixed me was the roiling power she exuded. I'm not an overly powerful unicorn, I'll have to admit, but I could sense thaumaturgic waves, barely held in check, warping the aether and fixing my soul like a pinned moth. It had been since my foalhood that I'd felt anything like it. Raw, raging and above all chaotic and for a moment I could remember scarlet eyes transfixing me in a like way so many years ago.
"Are you okay?" The hovering pegasus asked, looking between me and the unicorn.
"I'm...fine..." I stammered, groping for the door, "I'll just...come back later."
With that I beat a hasty, stumbling retreat. I managed to crash into and then scrape my flank against the door jamb on the way out and upon exiting I collapsed, shivering, next to the largely oblivious Cappy. He continued to gnaw at his braided steel lead, spittle and fresh, bright blood flowing liberally as he chewed.
"What just happened?" I asked aloud. Cappy, being the poor conversationalist that he was, kept worrying the braided steel.
I tried to call forth the feeling I'd just experienced, but had little luck. What of the flashback, when was that? I couldn't say for certain but it occurred to me that as much as it felt the same, this felt different too. Magical fury, sure, but there seemed to be a vast undercurrent of desperation here. A palpable despair oozed from Twilight's aura and there was another thing that separated the two impressions. There was an apologetic shame in this one, while the impression from my foalhood was confident, imperious and decidedly vicious.
I pondered for a time, trying to piece together the disparate memories and impressions with maybe a little more luck than I'd had before. Just when I felt everything coalescing and I was on the verge of an epiphany the library door swung open and the rainbow maned pegasus shot out before it slammed back shut with a crack.
It derailed my train of thought completely.
"Hey," The pegasus looked down sheepishly at me sitting on the ground, "Sorry about all that back there. You can go on in now, if you want. We're done for the time being."
I arched my eyebrows, "Er, no, I don't think I will at that. She's not likely to want to help me out after a blowout like that. I'll come back later, maybe."
"Eh, it might be for the best if you did, but don't get the wrong idea. Twilight's the best friend a mare could have, but she's under a lot of stress right now and she's... BEING A COMPLETE PLOT HOLE!" She screamed the last part with the intention that her friend could hear her from inside. It left my ears ringing, "Still, give her a little while and she'll be calmed down and forget all about it."
"I suppose maybe I'll walk my dog around for a while and let her cool down." I said, to which the pegasus made a disheartening reply.
"What dog?"
Sure enough there was a loop of frayed steel cable still attached to the post. I couldn't believe it, he'd actually chewed through the cable while I was sitting right next to him, distracted. Now that's determination. If I credited him with any guile I'd have to credit his guts too.
I took off at a gallop towards Peachy Sweet's, hoping he was returning there.
"I hope you find your dog!" The pegasus called after me as I ran.
I don't believe in Karma, but it believes in me and keeps a close watch.
After three hours of non-stop searching I gave up. He was gone and there was no point in wearing myself out looking for him. He'd either show back up or he wouldn't. Either way, all my frustration was for naught. I plopped down on a bench near the gingerbread style bakery, let out a ragged sigh, slumped down and closed my eyes.
"Do you want to talk about it?" A lilting voice asked from nearby. Surely, even in a place like Ponyville, nopony would play Johhny-do-good and interrupt my wallowing, would they? When I tentatively opened one eye, who else should I see but the mint green lyrist.
"Buck."
"Well buck you too." She said with a smile and made that hoof gesture that goes along with it in a jesting sort of way. I was caught. The world had arranged things thus that I no longer had a choice but to do the right thing, the thing I wanted to do anyway but was too cowardly to actually do.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have been such a jerk for no reason." I contritely said.
"Don't sweat it." She shrugged, "Just because I was feeling playful doesn't automatically mean you are too and I can see you had something stressing you out. I'm still not thrilled you busted up my lyre case. I have other ones, though. That was just my favorite one for busking."
I blanched and thought for a moment that she didn't, in fact, have peaceful intentions but was instead lulling me into a position where I could be more easily bullied and humiliated. I wasn't sure just how likely that scenario was, but I feared it more than is healthy and it resulted in a simpering reply, "I...I'll buy you a new one! Top of the line, all the frills!"
She laughed, "That would be completely the opposite of why I liked that case, though. I only used it for busking, it didn't even fit my lyre very well but it was just the right type of ratty tatty that brought in the bits. A little grime and roguishness suits the aspiring street musician better than the old spit and polish look. Don't worry though, I'll just have to wear in one of my others, it's only a matter of time anyway, entropy being the natural state of the universe and all."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize..."
"You can stop apologizing, I already told you it doesn't matter and it was a worthless old thing besides." She waved her hooves in a dismissive gesture, "So what's up with you, anyway? If you want to talk, sometimes it helps."
"No, I can't really say that much about it." I shook my head and looked in her placid amber eyes, "But thank you, really, and thank you for forgiving me. Name's Sea Swirl, by the way."
"Lyra." She replied and hoof bumped me. Ponies in the Midwest were a lot different than in the East, I realized. If I'd pulled this sort of smooze back home I would have a nemesis for life no matter what sort of penance I did and here she'd forgiven me like an old friend, "So can you say what brings you to town?"
At this point I hardly cared about my pseudo-secrecy so I laid out the broad strokes for her, "I'm here looking for somepony, but I don't want them to know I'm looking for them or they might run off..."
"Oh, it's like that is it?" She asked, "If there's some stallion that's done you wrong..."
"What? No, no. Nothing of that sort." I backpedaled out of one sort of soap opera and into another, "It's my mother, actually, but uh, don't go telling anyone, please?"
"Pinkie promise." She said and solemnly went through a series of gestures that ended with her jamming her hoof into her eye.
"Oh, um okay. Anyway I know she was in town, but I haven't really got any leads."
"What's she look like?" Lyra asked.
"Green mane, sort of darkish, turquoise coat, a breaking wave and music note as her cutie mark." I described.
Lyra squinted in thought, "Is she a unicorn named Sea Breeze?"
"If that's the name she's going by. Sounds likely anyway. You really know her?"
"Of course! Everyone knows Sea Breeze. She's right up there with Pinkie Pie as far as popularity goes, but before you ask I don't know where she lives but she's been studying with Twilight Sparkle at the library most nights until late. Like late late." Lyra smiled, "She ought to be pretty easy to find."
I slumped back down, yeah, right back into that little crucible. "That mare scares me."
"Twilight? The librarian?" Lyra was incredulous, "I mean, sure, she's Celestia's personal student, and maybe she IS the most powerful unicorn of our generation and the element of magic besides, but what's scary about her?"
"All those things you just said, for one." I replied, I hadn't realized she was THAT Twilight Sparkle, one of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony and a modern legend, "But really, I was in there a few hours ago and she seemed a bit...off. Stressed out like and in a scary way."
Lyra shrugged, "Yeah, she is like that from time to time. I guess it's worse lately because of the investigation. I'm not sure how a librarian, no matter her connections, gets saddled with the Equestrian Guard's work. I've heard she's not dealing with it all that well. Emotionally, I mean. Her and the rest of the Element bearers seem to get stuck with a lot of dirty work."
"Is she investigating that murder from a couple weeks ago?" I feigned disinterest. Lyra wilted a bit at the mention of the murder implying it had been quite an ordeal for the denizens of Ponyville. That or Lyra knew the victim. I resolved to find out from someone who's feelings I wasn't worried about hurting.
"No, they..." She sniffed and then gulped back hear gathering tears, "They settled that, so far as I know. There's been some kind of theft, but they won't say what was stolen. I know it's big because even the Princesses are riled up about it, so yeah, she's upset, but you can't judge a pony when they're at their worst. Otherwise I'd think you were some kind of jerk or something."
"I am some kind of jerk or something." I grumbled.
"No you're not. I don't know what you are and it's not really my place to judge, but you're not a jerk." She considered it for a bit, recovering her grin, "You know, even if you were it's not so bad as all that. I know lots of ponies who really are total unrepentant jerks and loudmouths besides and there's always somepony out there who loves them anyway. Sometimes lots of someponies. Yeah, someponies take them at face value and just decide they like that kind of thing. Takes all kinds, y'know?"
"Maybe. But then maybe you're just too forgiving."
"Probably, but I like me that way, so whatever." She looked up towards the clock tower and started, "Shoot. Hey, I've got to get on. You want to come with me for dinner? My girl Bonbon is a darn good cook."
"Oh, I don't want to impose." I said, even though I could think of nothing I'd like better right now than to go with her.
"Oh, it's no problem. She always makes enough that there's leftovers anyway. C'mon, it'll be fun." She prodded.
"No. Thanks a lot, but I think I better try again with Twilight before my courage fails me." I politely refused, even though I wanted to say yes and had no reason not to. Deep down I hoped she'd ask once more forcefully, so I could say yes. As she scooped her lyre up and trotted off I tried to force myself to run after her and say I'd changed my mind and I know that would be just fine with her, but I remained rooted in place, mentally flogging myself for my reticence. Right before she turned the corner she spun and waved goodbye, a goofy grin on her face and Celestia help me, I waved right back with an equally foalish smile.
Then she slipped out of my view and was gone. I'd almost forgotten Cappy was awol, but there's little enough I could do about it. There was nothing left but to try the library again and hope Twilight Sparkle was as reasonable a mare as Lyra.
There were no overwhelming waves of magic spillover this time, no arguing pegasi. Just a purple unicorn librarian and a young dragon contentedly reshelving books. Twilight was friendly and cordial when I came back to her for assistance, right up until the point that I told her who I was looking for. Then she sent her pet dragon out of the room, which was a foreboding sign at best.
"Why are you looking for Sea Breeze?" She demanded with narrowed eyes.
I figured I'd told half the town already so I might as well just admit to it, "She's my mother."
Twilight scoffed incredulously, advanced on my and poked a hoof into my chest, backing me into one of the tall bookshelves, "You have some nerve making such a claim. So far all you backstabbing reporters have at least been honest when I've called them out, but claiming to be her daughter? That's lower than even the Fillydelphia Enquirer would stoop to."
"But...I really am her daughter, I don't know anything about any reporters or any of what's going on, I just saw her picture in the paper after all this time and hoofed it out here to see her again." I didn't mention that I thought she was a killer and I intended to stop her if it came to it, maybe the reporters looking for her meant that they already knew.
"Nice try, but Sea Breeze's daughter died as a teenager. She jumped from a cliff into the ocean and Sea Breeze is still traumatized by it. So get a better cover story, or at least do some research before you just come in spouting such offensive nonsense." Twilight shoved me, hard, and it was a good thing, too. I was on the verge of giggling before she had.
See, my mom was a pathological liar. The first time I realized this was when I was in elementary school in front of the class giving a whole presentation on how I was related to Star Swirl the Bearded. It was quickly pointed out that Star Swirl's descendants were well documented and that I wasn't one of them. A mother could name her foal any name she wanted and the inclusion of 'Swirl' in mine was not indicative of a familial relation. That, however, is what my mother had told me and I took it for the truth.
Soon I realized that she would tell me lies where the truth would fit better just because of her nature. It was never anything that mattered, mostly about what our relatives had done or owned, but it's easy to verify whether or not a pony is one sixteenth alicorn on their mother's side and I wasn't no matter what she claimed.
We also did not have a half stake in Donut Joe's Canterlotian location, which was a more disappointing truth.
"Ok, but I really am her daughter and I'm not dead, so how do I get you to believe me and stop poking me in the chest?" I asked, levelly.
"Fine, you want to stick by that story, I can play it that way. Will you submit to a truth spell?" She smirked, probably figuring I'd back down, but I didn't.
"Yeah, that should do, right? Ask away." I said. She started to say something but a spark arced from her horn into mine and everything became soft mumbles and disjointed words. She was questioning me and I was answering but I was so out of it I had no idea what was transpiring. I could hear my blood pulsing between the muffled echos of meaningless words. Then, just as I was getting interested in that state, everything suddenly rushed back into focus. The purple unicorn mare looking me right in the eyes from uncomfortably close.
"Whassat?" I asked groggily, then came up with the more sensible, "So you know I'm telling the truth, now?"
"That spell won't let me force you to tell anything you don't want to and it only tells the truth subjectively, as in; what you believe to be true." Twilight said. I must have had some of the answers right, though, because her tone was much gentler now, "You'll have to forgive me, there's been quite a bit of drama around here for the past few weeks and there's all kinds of cloak an dagger shenanigans ahoof so I've had to be wary. Aside from that, you showing up here, now, is pretty much out of left field, it looks...suspicious."
"But you'll let me see my mom now?" I asked hopefully and a bit fearfully. Even though I'd agreed to the spell, in truth, I felt vulnerable and violated after she'd gone through with it. Mind altering magic like that should be outlawed as far as I'm concerned, it's just as bad a outright mind control.
"When and if she returns, and I'm not saying she will, I'll tell her you're looking for her and where you're staying. If what you say is true I expect she'll be in contact."
"No, no, I don't want to do that. She skipped out on me when I was a filly, if she knows I'm looking for her she's likely as anything to do it again, then I'll never find her again." I pleaded, "It's only dumb luck that I saw her in the paper. I thought she was dead."
Twilight's when and if statement would absolve her of ever having to acknowledge anything one way or another if mom simply chose to ignore me. This whole arrangement put me in a very weak spot. Since I wasn't privy to my own interrogation I wondered how much she knew. Did I admit to my suspicions about mom? There was no way of telling and Twilight's poker face didn't give much away.
"If things were normal I'd honor that, but they're not so you're just going to have to take what you can get." Twilight said sadly.
"Why? What is it that's such a big deal that it's got everypony on edge around here?" Twilight didn't answer so I made my case more forcefully, "You know what I'm saying is the truth, why can't you just let me see her? Tell me when she's coming back and I'll meet her on the street like a coincidence. She'll never know."
"The truth that I know is just that you think you're her daughter. I have no way of knowing that for certain so I'm going to verify it with her first. Your story doesn't jibe with what I know about Sea Breeze and your answers were inconsistent. You could be brainwashed and not even know it, or crazy or who knows what." She remembered her escape clause, "When and if she turns back up, no promises on that, I'll tell her."
"But..." I started only to be interrupted immediately.
"No. What's going on is too important and orphan stories with middle aged protagonists don't play as maudlin enough to sidetrack me." She was right in my personal space with her cold glare, nose to nose, "The other truths I know are that you're hiding things..." Here she took a step back, snorted and fanned a hoof in front of her nose, "...and that you're on drugs, so you'll understand if I'm a bit...circumspect."
Unsurprisingly I was mortified and I had no counter to either point that I felt would actually get me anywhere, so I glumly acceded, said my goodbyes and headed back to the boarding house.
"If it helps, I really do hope you and your mom get back together!" Twilight shouted after me and waved. I waved back. Now I couldn't even properly hate her. What a really nasty thing to do.