The one word that sits in the back of evryponies minds has burrowed to the front of mine. That word is death. I find it funny to see how many ponies fear death. Why be scared of death? It is enevitable. Why fear anything that is inevetable? If anything, we should aid death. I will be hastening my own once I finish here. I can't say I'll miss this life. It has been nothing but saddening for the longest time.
* * *
I wasn't always thinking how i am now. I used to be a fun, happy, care-free pegasus pony. I was like that for a fair portion of my life, but it all changed after that one fateful day. That day I was out for a morning jog. I needed practice since I was going to Ponyville for the Running of the Leaves. When I returned.... I was too late. I couldn't save them. A fire broke out somehow while my family was still asleep. My mother and sister, my only family, burned in there. The fireponies never learned how it happened. I don't want to know.
I never thought I could cry as hard as I am now. Losing them was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. That day started my downward spiral to where I am today. I am not sorry for this choice. I don't regret this decision.
* * *
I am going to far ahead of myself. About five years after the fire I met a mare. She was sweet and kind when I met her. She was the first pony to break through my saddness. For the first time in five whole years I was happy. We are engaged now. We are supposed to get married in a few weeks. I won't give her name in fear of ending this prematurely and go end myself now.
We were so happy together but it didn't last long. She did things to me that I dare not repeat. Those things have sent me farther into the hole. I am sitting on deaths door now. I did not dare end our engagement in fear of her killing me. I want death but only at my hoof.
Any way, she is currently sobbing outside the locked room I am in, begging me to open the door. She says we can fix our problems and that she can change. Nopony can change. I don't believe one word she says. It is too late to make amends for what she did. I am dead now. There is no returning for me.
She is gone. Probably out getting the police. Oh well, I will be gone before she returns. To those who read this... I am sorry it couldn't have been different. I must go if I will finish my note. I will write it in a moment.
As I sit here and cry... I must say that this is... my final real goodbye. I end this letter to you now so I may write my true note... before I allow the rope to snap my neck.