//------------------------------// // Dress Mare & Hat Mare // Story: The life of an odd Prince // by Lucen Aurora //------------------------------// Dress Mare & Hat Mare By Lucen Aurora “Prince Lucen! Yoo hoo! Please, your highness, could we have a moment of your time?” The Prince turned, and looked curiously at the two mares approaching him. One had a long, slinky dress that clung to the curves of her flanks and flared out behind. The other had an enormous hat that seemed to swallow her up. “Your Highness,” they both said in unison, one in a sultry voice and one in a husky voice, both dipped their heads respectively. The Prince watched them both, slack jawed as the mares smiled down at him. “We would be ever so honored if you would consent to help us with an itsy, bitsy little problem your highness,” the hat mare asked in her husky voice “How do you keep that hat on your head?” he asked curiously. “I was just saying the same thing,” the dress mare enjoined with a small chuckle that earned her a sneer from the hat mare. “As I was saying,” the hat mare began again. “Did you glue it on?” the prince asked. The hat mare stopped again, clearly taken aback by the question. Prince Lucen was staring at her with an intent and earnest expression. The dress mares snickered again. “It's, very snug around the ears and horn, your highness,” she replied with and awkward grin. “Oh,” he replied trailing off into a mumbled, “I thought for sure it was glued.” “As my, ah, feathered friend her was saying,” the dress mare began. “But your a pegsai,” he pointed out to the dress mare. “What?” she asked, clearly not understanding his interruption. “Your a pegasi, you have feathers. She's a unicorn, she has a horn.” he replied calmly. “Er, yes. That's true,” she replied uncertainly, looking over to the hat mare who had taken it as her turn to smirk. “So she should be your horny friend and you are her feathered friend.” the Prince replied. The coat around the dress mares face reddened and the hat mare snickered, earning a glare from the dress mare. The dress mare cleared her throat and went on. “Well, the reason we wanted to talk to you was to ask if you would judge a fashion contest,” she rapidly blurted out as she turned back to Prince Lucen. “Oh, a fashion contest? I know all about fashion.” he replied. “Oh! That's good to hear, I would bet your mother, her highness Princess Celestia must have taught you all about fashion!” the hat mare squealed eagerly. “Yup, when I was little-er than I am now,” he replied “Little-er?” the dress mare asked “Yup,” Prince Lucen replied. The two mares looked at each other, neither quite understanding. “Little-er than, what your highness?” asked dress mare “Litle-er than I am now,” he replied in a matter of fact tone, as if it was painfully obvious. “But you aren't little at all?” asked the hat mare, indeed, he looked to be a fully grown stallion. “But I am little, Alicorns don't become adults until they are almost 2000 ish, ish, ish,” he replied, dreamily. “Oh, so?” asked hat mare “So, I was little-er before, I'm little now, and I will be less little in the future.” he replied as if dispensing the sagest of advice. The two mares looked at each other again, uncertain perhaps if this was such a good idea. They knew the Prince had a reputation for being a airhead, that was why they chose him, but this was more strange than airheaded. He stood still in front of them, watching them curiously. “Well then, will you judge our fashion contest?” the dress mare asked “Oh, sure. I like your horny friends fashion better.” he replied. “What,” they both asked in unison. “Well, your a pegasi, and that dress is pretty snug around the middle, it blocks your wings. You can't fly in it, so it defeats the purpose of being a pegasi. But your horny friend can use her magic, even if the hat is snug around her horn and ears. So it's and easy win for her.” The two mares gave him a queer look and where silent for a few moments while they thought his words over. “We didn't mean right now,” the dress mare finally replied. “Thanks, I guess,” said the hat mare as she magically floated a flier out from somewhere in her enormous hat and offered it to the Prince. “Is this the receipt for your hat?” he asked as he took it from the grasp of her magic with his own. “What?” the hat mare asked, unsure of what to say. “Well, where else would you keep the recipient for an enormous hat but in the hat?” he replied in an annoyed tone. “Where else indeed,” the hat mare mumbled. “Oh, the fashion show is next Tuesday in the Canterlot castle gardens?” he said, the shock and surprise clearly evident on his face and erect wings. “Yes your highness, it will be held next Tuesday from half past noon until right around three in the afternoon.” the dress mare replied. “But that's the day I'm supposed to pay for my hayburgers.” he protested Both mares stared at him uncomprehendingly. Seeing their confusion, he followed up his comment. “I'm supposed to pay Mr. Wimpy every Tuesday for the hayburgers I eat during the rest of the week . He has a little shop called Olive Oyl, where he makes the best hayburgers ever!” the Prince explained, licking his lips expectantly “Then, you can't do it?” asked the hat mare, sounding more relieved than disappointed. “Oh, no, I can do it. It's not like Mr. Wimpy ever expects me to actually pay the bill. It's good to be king, you know.” he replied. “But your a prince.” dress mare replied. “Yes, I know,” he replied in return. The dress mare looked over hat mare who in turn looked just as confused as she felt. “But you just said it was good to be king.” the dress mare replied uncertainly as she turned back to look at him. “And so it is.” the prince replied in kind. “You know, never mind. Just so long as you can come and judge our fashion show,” the hat mare cut in. “Sure, wouldn't miss it for the grime that gets stuck in my hooves.” he rejoined affably. “Don't you mean you wouldn't miss it for the world?” dress mare asked as hat mare got behind her and began to push her along, away from the prince. “Oh, no, the world is way more important. I would miss it for the world,” he called back. “Celestia help us, what have we gotten ourselves into,” the hat mare grumbled she managed to push the confused dress mare around a corridor corner and out of site.