//------------------------------// // Hobo in Equestria?… NO! // Story: Not so Evil Hobo Necromancer // by NecromancerX69 //------------------------------// I know is not perfect my fanfic, is the first one I have ever made so please be gentle. “Finally! Soon revenge will be mine” Normal talk “Finally! Soon revenge will be mine” Inner demon, conscience, telepathy talk. “Finally! Soon revenge will be mine” Thoughts. Chapter 1 Hobo in Equestria?… NO! [Location… Equestria Moon] 4 Hours before release of Nightmare Moon… “Finally! Soon revenge will be mine!” Said the ethereal form of Nightmare Moon locked inside the Moon. Nightmare Moon used to be a beautiful midnight-blue alicorn princess, who rule the night of the land of Equestria, alongside her sister Celestia a withe alicorn, who rule the day-light of Equestria. Until one day Nightmare Moon got jealous of her own sister and tried to bring night time eternal to all of Equestria. Under the danger of destruction to the land of Equestria by eternal darkness, Celestia had no choice but to seal her own sister in the moon thanks to the power of the Elements of Harmony. Until today… Just a few hours left and Nightmare Moon will be free again. “Yeah, you will be free and the Elements of Harmony will send us back just like that.” Said Luna the inner voice of Nightmare Moon, Luna was the true name of Nightmare Moon before getting consumed in hatred & jealousy. Now Luna is nothing more than just Nightmare Moon conscience. “I know that already and I have a plan” Said Nightmare Moon with a smirk on her face. "And I have to hear it… Again...” Said Luna even if she heard it more than a millennium times before. The plan to bring a Champion from another dimension to do her evil bidding. “I will summon a powerful champion with a weak mind to do my bidding!”. Told you. “Have you already chosen the one you need for the task?” Said Luna with a sigh. “I still can’t choose between that hot druid and that sexy necromancer from that planet filled with demons and barbarians”. Nightmare Moon said it like a highschool girl who just can’t decide which dress to wear for the prom. “Well there’s still time left Nightmare, use it wisely.” Luna chooses to leave Nightmare Moon to do her own decisions wandering in the mind of the old princess of the Night. “I have to say that druid is sure hot.” Nightmare Moon was… drooling? “And that necromancer… Mmmmm.” Okay that’s it ppl nothing to see here. [Location… Planet Earth/ near the American Mexican border] late at night… Killing time in front of his computer, there is a young chubby necromancer of 24 years old, his name is Vincent. “You’re all fur-coat, no knickers, bitches!” Said Vincent taking another shot of vodka while playing Killing Floor, Solo, Hard mode. You see he is a true necromancer… Still learning on its own. What helps him the most is the knowledge of a few black, withe, grey spells he knows and what it learn in his life of voodoo, Wicca & Christian (also known as Santeria). He may be fat, not the fat u think, just chubby. But hell if u dare to mess with him, he had a blue belt of karate because he was kicked out for almost breaking the karate teacher’s leg. And the teacher said he won his black belt, yeah right. With the help of the all great and powerful internet, Vincent expanded his knowledge in self-defense learning how to be a ninja/spy/assassin. Why the need to go that far and learn this… Zombies, he is a fan since a little boy, ready for the coming zombie apocalypse and if it doesn’t come HE will make it come. (It’s my Hobby DEAL WITH IT!). “The fun has been double!” Said Vincent after blowing up to shreds two Flesh Pound in the videogame. Yes he is also a goth/metal/gamer/alcoholic/brony. Well not that much but yeah it's ok to drink vodka once in a while. The 10th wave was over in the videogame, with enough time to quickly refill his Vodka shots and go to the trader in game, for more pipe-bombs. “You are murdering my children” Came from the videogame indicating it’s time for the Boss fight. The map of the game is WestLondon so Vincent chooses to set an ambush inside the church with the floor entirely covered with enough pipe-bombs to blow the planet… Almost. :D What Vincent didn’t know was that the lower half of his body was disappearing in a mystic midnight blue mist. BOOM!!! There goes the Boss. “Fuck Yeah!” Vincent was about to grab another shot just to find is right arm disappearing before his eyes in the mystic mist. “No, not my squishy arm, why my squishy arm!... Wait a minute… That’s it no more Vodka for me, I am drunk.” These were his last words, before disappearing in the mist completely. [Location… Equestria Old Castle Ruins] Minutes before the mane 6 arrival… “Ow… My head, please tell me I didn’t puke on the bed again.” Said Vincent starting to awake in the hard cold floor of some old castle ruins. Taking a look around still lying on the floor, he found this was definably not is room. “Okay… One of two things. I'm still drunk or I'm dreaming.” His answer was a small piece of the ruins roof landing on his face. “Bull f**k horses**t!” It hurt like a bitch. Getting up from the floor and throwing angry the piece that land on his face to nowhere in particular, he quickly checked his glasses to make sure they didn’t broke. They were fine. Looking around the room from where he was standing, he found nothing in particular, save to possible exits, some windows with broken glass and that it was night time. “Okay let’s see: messy long dark hair check, beard check, my organs check, black long sleeve shirt check, black short shirt Zombie-Vampire on top of long sleeve shirt check, black pants check, black tennis check. Time to check my pant's front pockets. Wallet check, self-defense pepperspray check, balisong knife check, keys check. Now my back pants pockets. Just throwing knives and my skull jaw bandana. Wait where’s my party hat?” Quickly looking around, he found it on the floor. It’s a Jack Skellington top-hat, he likes to wear it for cosplays or when he is going to get drunk. He picks it up and cleans the dust from it. Vincent moves to the shadows in the room with his hat in hand as the paranoia started to get the best of him. Now that is another reason he always wear black, so he can conceal himself in the dark. He removes his vampire-zombie shirt and wears it backwards on his head making him look like a ninja only adding the skull jaw bandanna to make him look 20% cooler or just stupid. Taking the blisong knife out of his pockets he spins it with the same technique of the Spy of Team Fortress 2 ready to stab whoever was foolish to mess with him. “Let’s get this straight where the hell am I?” Now concealed in the darkness of the ruins Vincent started to move to one of the windows, taking a look outside he found a dark gloomy forest. “This is no longer Texas or Mexico so there is only one explanation left… Aliens! Wait, no, can’t be I don’t feel probed or got missing organs. Then what could it be?” He started to believe more in aliens, after all who would waste his time on someone like him, sending him to some castle in Europe, even if he feel no longer on planet Earth. What caught his attention was a bright flash that appeared and disappeared in one of the 2 exits of the room he was located. Now normally would be better to go the other way in order of not getting caught again by whoever bring him here, but the curiosity got the best of him so he started to move slowly to where the light appeared, using the shadows as cover and knife at the ready. Taking a peek through the archway he found something his very eyes could not believe. There in the room next to where he was, were his two favorite characters of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. Nightmare Moon and Twilight Sparkle. “How is this even possible, is someone trying to mess with my brain? Demons or what the fanfics claim about multi-universe is true." He said in disbelieve. He keeps watching the scene through the archway making sure it's not some sick trap, all he saw was exactly what he saw in the second episode of mlp: the quick battle of Twilight and Nightmare Moon, the destruction of the Harmony stones and the arrival of Twilight's friends. Now everypony was reunited, all the mares: Applejack the earthpony, farmer, Element of Honesty. Rarity the unicorn, cloth designer, Element of Generosity. Rainbow Dash the pegasus, fastest flier of all Equestria, Element of Loyalty. Pinkie Pie the earthpony, madpartyplaner, Element of Laughter. Fluttershy the pegasus, animal caretaker, Element of Kindness. Twilight Sparkle the unicorn, worm book, Element of Magic. And finally Nightmare Moon the alicorn, princess of the moon. (Yes I know I suck at descriptions, you can hate me more). Knowing they were no threat Vincent put back his short Zombie Vampire shirt on top of his long sleeve shirt and returned his skull jaw bandanna to his back pocket, he put on his party hat as well and hid his balisong knife, but just in case he got the pepperspray in his left hand. Now all he had to do was wait for the colored rainbow attack to illuminate pass the archway so he can show himself without getting caught in the attack of the Elements of Harmony. What really happen was different, something took control of his mind and forced him to enter the room and stand in front of Nightmare Moon as meat shield for the coming attack of the Elements of Harmony. “This hobo may not be the sexy necromancer I wanted to summon but will do just fine to protect me from the attack.” Said in her mind Nightmare Moon using a simple mind control spell on Vincent or the hobo she believes he is. Vincent started to panic because of the rainbow attack that was coming right at him. “Hope this works...” He cast a simple aura shield, mostly used against spiritual attacks and psychic vampires. What surprised him was that he could see the shield clear as day, it kind of look like a mystical huge bubble surrounding his body. Most of the time many ppl who use this kind of spell can never see the shield, making many believe is just your imagination, but it exists and it works just fine. Now the fact that Vincent can see the shield means magic definably moves more freely in Equestria than planet Earth. The rainbow attack hit Vincent’s shield brightening the room with the power of a thousand suns. Once it was over The Elements of Harmony were on the floor unconscious, while Vincent was trying to not fall for the attack took most of his energy. “Omgwtfbbq, let’s not do that again anytime soon.” Said Vincent starting to stay still and watch in front of him the Elements starting to awake from unconsciousness. “Well you look at that, this hobo is useful after all.” Nightmare Moon said with a smirk. “Hey, I am not a hobo!” Said Vincent with indignation. “Your hair tells me likewise.” Truth be told it indeed make him look like a hobo. There are even ppl who call him hobo as nickname for the messy beard and hair. He definitely hates that nickname. Now awaken, Twilight and the others watch with horror what happened. The Elements didn’t hit Nightmare Moon but that strange creature that can stand on two legs, cast magic and is as tall if not more taller than Nightmare Moon herself. “What… In tarnation is that thing” said Applejack starting to get up along with the other Elements. “This thing here is my latest pet, also a very talented hobo to say the least.” Said Nightmare Moon with a smile on her face. “Once again, I am NOT a hobo! And definitely NOT somepony’s pet!” Vincent said it with anger in his voice. “Well that THING certainly has no manners, just look at those grim clothes and that mess of mane, mother of Celestia, I should call the fashion police for this”. Said Rarity with disgust in her voice. “Well EXCUSE me, Miss Rarity but I have more manners than those snobs in Canterlot.” “How do you know my name?!” Rarity was in shock now. “That is not important; right now I need you girls to hit Nightmare Moon with your gay magic beans again so I can leave this place”. Yes looks like Nightmare Moon is no longer his favorite pony. And few of the Elements got angry at the comment. “Aw, you hurt my feelings PET” Said Nightmare Moon teasing. “I am NOT your PET!” “He is scary… and evil….” Said Fluttershy hidden behind Applejack. “Hey I am not a bad man even if I do bad things, many bad things, such horrible things, wait a minute… maybe I am evil.” Vincent started to super villain laugh at his inner joke, Pinkie started also to laugh with him. Only to be stopped by a very angry rainbow pegasus flying in front of his face. “Oh yeah, if you are indeed evil I will take you down in…” “Ten seconds flat” Vincent counters Rainbow, unimpressed. “How did you…” “Evil!” With a smirk Vincent counters again. Rainbow Dash was about to buck Vincent hard in the face only to be stopped by a purple aura that surrounded her body and drag her towards Twilight. “Stop fighting Dash, we need you in order to use the Elements again” Said Twilight not wanting her friend to get in more trouble. “Yeah Dashy, unless you want me to make you cupc- OW” Vincent was quick silenced with a rock thrown by no more than Pinkie Pie herself. She looks clearly pissed. “Don’t you ever say that NAME with that MEANING here… EVER!” Said the very angry Pinky Pie. “Yeah, I forgot that she can break the 4th Wall, she must have found that fanfic.” Vincent thought starting to feel sorry for her. “I am sorry Pinkie, I will never say it ever again.” “Pinkie Promise!” Said quickly Pinkie Pie. “Cross my dark heart, hope to fall to the underworld and stick a dagger in my eye if I ever brake that promise.” It's Vincent’s twisted Pinkie Pie promise. Making every one in the room flinch, except for Vincent and Pinkie Pie. Somehow Pinkie Pie wasn’t angry for the evil twist he made to her traditional promise. “Will you forgive me Pinks?” “Forgiveness accepted!” She said it, returned to her cheerful manner. “Silence!!!” Said Nightmare Moon. “It’s time to end this and rule all Equestria!” She was about to do some dark magic only to be pepper-sprayed in the face by Vincent. She lost control of her mind control spell because of using another spell making Vincent free again. Then he tackled her to make sure she doesn’t try to escape. “Do it now!” Vincent told to the Elements “But what about-” “I say do it Gun Dammit!” He told to Twilight. The Elements were reactivated and shot another rainbow to Vincent and Nightmare Moon, resulting in a bigger flash of light than the last one. Once it was over only Luna and the Elements could be seen… Vincent and Nightmare Moon disappeared… Forever… or maybe not. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA! [Miny Grimoire Time!] (During these miny Grimoires you will learn how to use the spells Vincent use in the fanfic or tell you why he can’t let you learn it) o) Spiritual shield… You will need: Just your mind Close your eyes and image your aura or body starting to get surrounded by a bubble of energy, this energy will be linked to your aura helping you defend of spiritual attacks, especially those sneaky psychic vampires. Warning: the shield can only defend you against simple attacks, unless your aura is strong. [Important]: Necromancerx69 is not responsible if the spells actually work or not and you get killed. Any complains in relation to my Magic/Believes and you been an Atheist, Christian, Non magic believer, Scientologist, etc. Please call 1-800-I-DON’T-GIVE-A-F**K That's it people hope you like it, love it, hate it, get sick, etc. If possible please leave a comment.