//------------------------------// // Chapter Seven // Story: Falling For Our Stars // by bobdat //------------------------------// Chapter Seven A gigantic stallion with a pitch-black coat opened the door was we trotted up the drive, towering above us. “You must be Cat, lovely to meet you,” the hulking pony said, hugging me gently and kissing me on the cheek. “You have no idea how excited Fly has been since she realised you were visiting. Practically flew out of the door. Anyway, come in, come in.” I stamped my hooves on the mat to rid them of the last clinging bits of snow, then stepped inside behind Fly. “Dear, Fly’s friend Cat is here,” the stallion (who I had realised must be Fly’s father) shouted up the stairs. He turned to me. “Would you like a drink? I’ll get you some lemonade to take upstairs.” He disappeared into the kitchen, but then I was accosted by a gentle-looking mare who shared Fly’s green coat. “Cat, darling, it’s lovely to meet you,” she said, shaking my hoof with a grip far stronger than I had expected. “We’ve heard all about you from Fly of course, ever since her first day at Buckingham.” I just smiled politely and wished she hadn’t squeezed my hoof so tightly. “Not got a drink yet? Don’t worry dear,” she said before I could open my mouth. “SWEETIE-PIE? GET THE FILLIES A DRINK!” she suddenly yelled, nearly deafening me with her angry tone. Her face immediately turned to a gentle one before Fly’s dad could return with a tray of drinks and biscuits. “Here you go girls. I gave you the rest of the lemonade in case you want a refill, plus there’s some biscuits. I know you’re probably watching your weight, but you can indulge in one or two,” he informed us timidly, one eye on his wife. Fly thankfully led me up the stairs to her room before any more shouting broke out. “Don’t worry, she’s just stressed because of the holidays,” Fly told me quietly as we stepped into her room. I’d never been in her room before, but it wasn’t really anything special apart from the piles of books everywhere. She’d cleared some floor space for my camp bed and I spotted a framed photograph of the four of us at Buckingham. “I still can’t believe you’re here!” Fly said happily, pulling me into another feathery hug. “I’m glad I got here alright. It’s too cold outside at the moment,” I complained, putting my bags down on the floor and taking a seat on her bed, before promptly plunging through it and hitting the floor. “I should have warned you about my cloud bed,” Fly said, blushing as she helped me up. “Sorry.” I rubbed my bruises. “It’s okay. It’s awesome that you have a cloud bed though.” I tried to prod it with my hoof and watched as it passed straight through. “I’ll just set up my stuff on the floor here.” While I busied myself with unrolling the camp bed, I noticed Fly studying my face. I looked back, and she smiled. “I was just wondering how you were doing. You know, after what happened.” I’d done a good job of managing to somehow scrunch it down so I didn’t have to think about it. A bit like leaving a sock inside a shoe and pushing it down until you don’t notice it any longer. “I’m doing okay,” I replied, doing my best not to choke. Fly didn’t reply, but I couldn’t meet her gaze. “Cat, if you want to talk about it, I’m right here.” “I... I just don’t know how to feel,” I eventually said, sighing and tugging at my mane. “I’ve been trying to ignore it.” “You really need to talk to Rarity,” Fly advised, putting her hoof around me and pulling me into half of a hug. “She’ll understand.” “I’m scared to talk to her,” I admitted, rubbing my hooves together in my embarrassment. “I know she’ll be understanding, but I’m just afraid that she might think I’m a freak.” “She won’t.” I bit my tongue and then sighed again. “Before... before I saw her with, with-” Fly’s eyes sparkled. “Go on.” “Well, before that, I was trying to get up the courage to confess to her. But that only made everything worse. I just don’t know what I was thinking.” I could feel a tear escaping for the corner of my eye, so I buried my face in Fly’s coat. “So I suppose you don’t want to tell her the truth?” Fly asked me, her hooves around me. “I told her you were unwell when she saw you were crying.” My eyes were red and I sniffed, managing to stifle the tears for the time being. “Thanks. I think it’s best if I don’t tell her.” Fly nodded. “But you can’t just avoid her forever.” “I know. I’ll do my best to face her,” I said, rubbing my eyes. “You know, the worst part about this is that we can’t just badmouth the person responsible for upsetting you,” Fly joked. “That’s the best part.” I laughed, then sobbed again and managed a fresh round of tears while Fly hugged me. After I’d recovered (and fixed my ruined make-up), we started on the biscuits and magazines, swapping the ones we hadn’t managed to read yet. “There are faux ears in all of them...” Fly said darkly. “It’s going to sweep the school again.” “I thought we’d seen the last of those horrible clashes between ears and mane,” I added, rolling onto my back and burying my face in a double-page spread about tail accessories. “The younger fillies are always the worst.” “They’d just wear anything they saw ponies like Miri and Rarity wearing, even if it makes them look completely awful,” Fly said. “Worst part is that we were exactly the same back then.” “Don’t remind me. The horror,” I replied, hiding my face in my hooves. “We needed Rarity to guide us.” Fly giggled and bounced a little on her super-comfortable looking cloud bed. I was jealous. Someone knocked at the door lightly, making us both pause. “Girls? We’re going to bed, so just keep the noise down and don’t go to sleep too late. There’s food in the fridge if you’re hungry,” her dad said. “Thanks Dad,” Fly replied, and we heard his hooves disappearing down the landing. “Now that they’re gone, do you want to hear some real gossip?” Fly asked me, the same slightly-embarrassed look on her face that she always wore when she knew something scandalous. I giggled uncontrollably for a few seconds, then stopped abruptly, which caused Fly to laugh, which set me off into giggles again. When I had it under control, I spread out on the camp bed. “Yeah okay, you can tell me.” “Well, you know that colt that Miri has been seeing since the fireworks?” Fly said quietly. “Of course.” “Well, I heard that he hasn’t even called Miri at all during the holidays.” “Oh wow... poor Miri.” “And I heard from Minty that he’s been seeing an older mare too.” “How does Minty know?” I asked. Minty was Miri’s only rival in terms of gossip, but Minty was a Gossip Princess to Miri’s Gossip Queen. Fly lowered her voice even further. “She told me she saw him with her and they were... kissing.” I wrinkled up my muzzle. “I knew he was trouble. How is Miri taking it?” “Haven’t heard from her,” Fly said solemnly. “But she’ll probably be really upset.” “Like always, then. How many times has she had a break-up in the time we’ve known her?” I asked, shaking my head and then blowing my mane out of my eyes. “Too many. I do feel sorry for her though.” “Maybe she’ll finally find somepony right for her,” I suggested, shrugging. “But knowing Miri, it’s unlikely.” “She has a talent for finding the bad ones, doesn’t she.” The camp bed was really uncomfortable, but I eventually managed to nod off. I was pleased that I’d picked a best friend who didn’t snore, otherwise I would have had many sleepless nights over the years. The only problem was, Fly decided to wake me in the middle of the night. “Cat, wake up,” she said. I groaned and wondered about turning over, but then I heard her sob slightly. Suddenly I was wide awake. “What’s the matter, Fly?” I said, sitting up and looking at her through the darkness. She shifted across and landed on the floor gracefully, hugging me and bursting into tears. “Come on, you can tell me anything. I’m the one who’s supposed to be an emotional wreck,” I told her, feeling her laugh and try to sniff back her tears. “What are you crying over? If it’s Miri’s love life, then I’m really worried about you.” She laughed again. “Thanks Cat. I... Can I tell you something?” “Of course.” I stroked her mane gently. “Um, well. I have a coltfriend.” This certainly took me by surprise. “A coltfriend?” I tried not to look too shocked. “When did this happen?” This was almost the last thing I had expected. Although I loved Fly, she just never really had any success with colts. “About two days after I got back from school. My parents made me go to this party in the local church hall, so I took a book so I could just sit and ignore everypony.” She sniffed and seemed ready to begin crying again, but she held it together. “And then nearly everypony there was much younger and I felt really embarrassed but this nice colt was there with his younger sister and he was also reading a book and we just got along really well,” Fly rambled, before suddenly going quiet and shaking a little. “I’ve seen him twice since and we always talk about books.” “Then why, for Celestia’s sake, are you crying?” I asked, unable to keep a slight laugh out of my voice. “I’m really happy for you and you’re crying over it!” “I was afraid to tell you... after what happened with Rarity. I thought it might hurt you.” I hugged her tightly. “You can always tell me anything.” A sudden feeling of happiness welled up inside me and I spontaneously hugged her. “I’m so pleased! Do I get to meet him?” I asked, squeezing her hoof. “You must be so excited.” “Thanks Cat. I was worried you might be upset.” I gave her a tissue to wipe her eyes with. “He might come for a visit at school,” Fly told me, folding her wings back to her sides. “We’ll see.” *** Before I knew it, I was sitting forlornly on the train back to Buckingham, my holidays over and lessons starting again. Miri would be moping about her ex-coltfriend, and I’d have to face Rarity. And the possibility that the colt she had been kissing would now be her coltfriend. At least Fly would be happy. The worst part of going back was the fact that I’d changed; I’d had a crush on a mare and while I might have gone off her, I didn’t know if I was going to be interested in colts again. The questions were bouncing around inside my head right up until the moment I opened the door to our room at school. Then they were driven out by a whole new set of questions. Miri was giggling happily and looking at a magazine, while Fly was looking over at her, concerned. Once they noticed me, both of them jumped up and hugged me. But I’d been expecting a broken mess of a Miri, not one who was giggling at the advice column of a magazine. “She’s been like this since I arrived,” Fly told me. I noticed that Rarity hadn’t arrived yet, but then I didn’t know when her flight was due so it was hardly surprising. “Miri, are you okay?” I asked, concerned that she might have been bingeing on sugar or something. She shrugged. “I’m fine, why?” “Only... I heard about that colt.” “Oh, him. I dumped him.” Miri actually dumped a colt?!? Normally she waited until they ditched her and then cried herself to sleep every night, but she seemed... normal. At least, normal for Miri. “He was stupid and he didn’t call me. I’m not going to waste my time on him any longer,” Miri declared confidently. “And anyway, I’m much happier because I discovered that faux ears are back! I’m going to love these spring fashions.” I facehoofed, but then went for a rummage around in the wardrobe to see if I had any pairs left. I didn’t want to know what Rarity thought. “Oh, I borrowed that brown pair you had, Cat. Do you want them back?” Miri asked me, realising what I was looking for. “I’m okay for now. Just wondering if I’d actually kept them.” And at that moment, the door burst open and revealed a ball of white and purple rage. “Since. When. Did. ANYPONY. Think. Faux. Ears. Were. Fashionable?” Rarity shouted, stamping her elegant hooficure. “This is ridiculous. It’s a crime against fashion. I’m speechless. This is the worst possible thing!” She collapsed onto her bed after dropping her suitcases, her mane falling across her face and hiding her angry expression. I just laughed. “They’re not that bad...” “Not that bad? They’re awful! Now I’ll have to spend the next twelve weeks looking at little fillies wearing clashing colours and thinking they look good!” Rarity said, waving her hooves unhappily. I was glad to be back. Lessons started suddenly on the Monday morning, and I wasn’t used to being up so early in the morning. “You’ll miss breakfast,” Fly told me, nudging my shoulder with her hoof. I stayed under the blanket and complained about it being far too early. “Get up darling, we’ve got history first and I don’t want to have to cover for you,” Rarity said, brushing her tail magically. “Plus Miri will be forever in the bathroom and you don’t want to be stuck outside.” That was enough to get me out of bed with a groan. I was dreading history because it meant that I would be sitting with Rarity for the first time since... the incident. I knew she was going to ask me about it and it was going to be embarrassing, so I desperately tried to think up ways of keeping the subject away from what happened. “Cat, I was wondering all holiday about-” Rarity started the moment we had a few moments to talk. “Wait, did you remember to bring your homework?” I interrupted, no even knowing if there was homework. “I did. Did you?” I rummaged through my bag. “Oh, yes I did. That’s good.” The teacher went back to speaking and I was saved for a few more minutes, but I knew Rarity was going to ask. I needed an excuse, but they just weren’t coming to me. “So during the holiday-” “Do you have any faux ears I can borrow?” That was a pathetic attempt and Rarity knew it, but she was distracted by her rage about the faux ears. I half-listened to her while she told me what a silly idea it all was, half-thought about a good excuse. “Anyway, I wanted to ask you, what was the matter-” I tried to interrupt by saying something incoherent, but she ignored me and carried on. “- with you at the dance? Fly said you were unwell and I saw you crying, but I didn’t see you until you’d left to go home.” She looked at me, her blue eyes shining with concern. “Oh, uh, um, well, I, er, had an accident,” I burbled, watching Rarity’s cheeks tinge with pink. An accident? What was I thinking? “Oh my, well, that’s terrible!” Rarity replied, rubbing her hooves together awkwardly. “No wait, it wasn’t that kind of accident... it was an, um, it was a mare problem,” I said, cringing inside and wondering what I’d got myself into. “I see,” Rarity said, looking a little less embarrassed. “Well, at least it only happens once a month.” “Ahem, Cat and Rarity, would you care to share your conversation with the class?” the teacher suddenly asked, looking sternly at us. I just blushed a deep shade and tried to hide my face. “Sorry sir,” Rarity replied calmly. The teacher just tutted and went back to teaching. “So, that colt you were with...” I eventually said as we left the classroom, dying to know what was going on there. “At the dance, I mean.” “What about him?” Rarity asked, looking at me. I couldn’t look back, so I stared at the floor. “Are you two, you know, together?” “I think so, yes. He’s really rather sweet and such a good kisser, there was really no way I could turn him down,” Rarity began as we started on the stairs to the common room. I knew I was about to get a ten minute monologue about him, and I wanted to feel happy and excited for her, but every word still hurt a little. So I was greatly relieved to find Fly in the common room to help distract Rarity. “My lesson was cancelled,” Fly told us, putting her book down. “How was history?” “Fine like usual,” Rarity breezed, taking a seat opposite Fly. “I was just telling Cat about my new coltfriend. At least, I think he’s my coltfriend,” she said, suddenly looking nervous. “I’ve never really had a coltfriend like him before.” “Well now it seems like we’re in the same boat,” Fly said, eyes widening as she spotted some faux ears trotting across the common room. Rarity followed her gaze and then let out an exasperated noise. “I’ll be back in one one moment, I just need to go and give out some fashion justice.” Once she was gone, I leaned close to Fly. “I didn’t know that the colt she was with would turn out to be her coltfriend.” “Don’t worry about it. Just be happy for her,” Fly replied, putting her wing around me. I nodded. “I’m trying.” “You’ll get over her.” The post-holidays period at Buckingham was always cold and boring. Nothing to do but wait until spring arrived and brought the warmer weather. But of course, there was always one day that got everypony excited. Hearts & Hooves Day was now less than a month away and every filly in the school wanted to get a card from their own special somepony. The older fillies, around my age, sometimes got them from colts or their coltfriend, but usually fillies just sent them to each other, and the younger fillies sometimes sent one to an older pony who they admired. I always sent one to Fly, Rarity and Miri, and I’m pretty sure I got one from each of them in return. Nopony signed the cards though, so you could never really be sure. A deliverypony (one of the seventh years) was responsible for handing all of the envelopes out on the day, and you had to post them all the day before. I expected that Rarity and Fly would get one from their special someponies, so it was just Miri and I who would be lonely. We’d both given up on our diets (too much trauma) so I was planning to eat an entire box of chocolates with her while having a good complaining session about how useless colts were. I was happy for Fly and Rarity though, even if I did feel a little bit jealous about Rarity. I decided that I’d use Hearts & Hooves Day as an opportunity to finally get over my brief thing with Rarity. I was going to send her a card and be happy about her new coltfriend and have one last day of feeling bad about it, then by the next day, I would have moved on. It was just bad for our friendship if I couldn’t move on, and my History grades were slipping again because I couldn’t concentrate. When I told Fly about my plan, she agreed. “You should get your feelings about Rarity out in the card, and then she’ll just think you’re being friendly and you’ll be able to start concentrating again,” she said, more concerned with my school work than anything else. I was really looking forward to having Rarity back as a friend and not a crush. I bought her card a week in advance and spent all of my free moments working on it, covering every square inch in coloured pen drawings and little hearts. “Hey Cat, do you have anything planned on Hearts & Hooves Day?” Miri asked me suddenly as we were getting ready for bed one evening. “Um, no. Why?” I replied, suspicious that she was going to drag me off to some kind of blind date. Miri just shrugged. “I saw that the new romantic comedy was showing at the cinema and was wondering if you wanted to come with me. Nopony else wants to go.” She glared at Rarity and Fly, neither of whom really seemed bothered. “I’ll go with you,” I replied, smiling. “It’ll be nice to get away from school for a bit.” We decided to get something to eat from Griffontown before going to the cinema, since concessions were so expensive. Miri hid two packets of exotic sweets in her bag before we went in, keeping them well hidden from the attentive ushers checking our tickets. We got a seat right at the back so that we could talk through the film without disturbing anypony. “I hope this is good. The last one was terrible,” Miri told me, munching noisily on some of the sweets and drawing some odd looks. “Ew, actually, you can have the green sweets. I don’t like those ones.” She tipped all of her green sweets into my packet, then went back to munching as the film started. It was supposed to be about some mares who all had coltfriends and went on holiday somewhere, but after ten minutes of cheesy acting and pun-based jokes, both Miri and I were content to catch up instead of watch it. “So how come you’re all alone today? Didn’t meet any colts over the holidays?” Miri asked me. “Not really. We usually spend the holidays without our family, which means I don’t get out much,” I replied, sighing. “I do wish I could just meet somepony nice like Rarity and Fly have.” “Me too. My ex-coltfriend,” she said in an acidic tone, “Was never as nice as I thought he was. I found out that the reason he never called was because he was busy going around with some other filly, can you believe that?” “Oh, uh, I did hear that from somewhere. He’s obviously not good enough for you,” I told her. “Who did you hear it from?” Miri demanded. “Fly told me, but she heard it from Minty.” “I hate Minty. That bitch.” I giggled. “You should spread gossip about her.” “There’s nothing to spread. She’s so ugly that no colt would ever go near her,” Miri said, then giggled herself. “Might be best not to get payback. You don’t want to get into a gossip war,” I said, trying to focus on the film a little but I’d lost the plot and had no idea what was going on. “I’d win a gossip war, if that’s what you mean. She just hears it from ponies who heard it from me and then pretends she was the first to know.” I was always amazed by Miri’s networking skills. She really did know everything as soon as it happened, which was the reason I hadn’t told her about my crush on Rarity. Some things didn’t need spreading around the school. “Anyway, do you want to know something really good?” Miri asked me, leaning in close. She always had something really good to say. “Is it about Minty?” I tried. I didn’t know nearly as many ponies as Miri did and she often told me nuggets of gossip about ponies I barely knew. “No no. It’s about Rarity.” I sat up a bit straighter in my seat. “Rarity? What gossip is there about Rarity? She’s never involved in anything like that.” “I know, and that’s why this is so hot. But you have to keep it a secret, of course.” Normally that meant I could tell anypony I liked, but if it was about one of my best friends I knew i wouldn’t tell anypony. “Okay, I’ll keep it a secret. But what is it?” “It’s about her coltfriend,” Miri whispered. The smile on her face told me she was dying to let it slip to someone, and I suspected Rarity had told her to keep it a secret. “What about her coltfriend?” Miri’s smirk grew wider. “I heard that they’ve... you know... done it.” “Done what? It?” My mouth hung open and I was sure my jaw was nearly touching the floor. There was no way they could really have... done it. “Yup. They’ve gone all the way. I wasn’t expecting it, let me tell you,” Miri continued. “But remember, keep it a secret.” The revelation hit me like being applebucked in the chest. Rarity... had done it? With a colt? I’d only just managed my first kiss, and it was a secret! She suddenly seemed to much more mature and grown-up. “How do you know?” I asked Miri, desperate to know why Rarity had divulged this information. “I overheard her on the phone to him. By accident, of course. But they were talking about it in whispers and kept mentioning it, so it must be true.” Sounded pretty convincing. I was still reeling from the shock. It only seemed like a few months since the four of us were discussing the best way to kiss a colt (making Fly turn very red), and now Rarity had gone all of the way. I thought she might have told us, but then it was understandable that she didn’t want it spread around the school. One thing was for sure, I was telling Fly just as soon as I next saw her. This wasn’t something I was going to keep a secret from her, because I knew I could trust the pegasus to keep quiet. “Totally unexpected, huh?” Miri said to me, nudging me out of my thoughts. “She’s only been seeing him since the dance. Must be moving pretty quickly, but then I guess if she’s away for so long, they have to.” I nodded, but I had a million questions. Why had they done it? Where? Were Rarity’s parents okay with it? I knew that mine would be screaming blue murder if they knew I’d done it with a colt. And still I had that crushing feeling in my chest. If Rarity was ready to do it, then I never had a chance. Just the idea of kissing still filled my tummy with butterflies. I tried to get more out of Miri, but she didn’t seem to know any more. There was no way I could ask Rarity, so I just had to speculate. I was thinking about it all of the way home on the train, leaving Miri to happily peruse a magazine. I suppose that if I ever wanted to do it with a colt, I’d be able to ask her about what to do, but still... everything suddenly felt so much more adult than it had that morning. “How was the film?” Fly asked when we got back to the room. She’d been out to get dinner with her coltfriend and must have said goodbye to him, because she was reading her book. “Terrible, really,” Miri answered, disappearing into the bathroom to clean off her makeup, then retreating rapidly as Rarity shooed her out. “One moment Miri, I’m just taking off my mascara,” the unicorn said, using her magic to shut the door. “How was your date, Fly?” I asked, rubbing my hooves to get rid of the ache from walking. She smiled shyly. “It was nice. We just talked a lot about books.” Miri giggled a little, and Fly glared at her. “Well I liked it. At least we have something in common and we’re not just after kissing.” It occurred to me that I had no idea whether or not Miri had done anything more than kissing with a colt. I mean, she was always disappearing when she was with them. But from how excited she’d been about Rarity, I was sure she hadn’t. “I think it’s nice, Fly. When are you seeing him next?” “He said he’ll try and come back before the end of term,” Fly told me, stretching her wings before rolling over and continuing her book. “I’m looking forward to it.” “What did he get you?” Miri asked, before swapping places with Rarity in the bathroom. “Um...” Fly tried, not sure whether to talk now that Miri had disappeared. She noticed my interested gaze and smiled. “He got me a nice card and some chocolates. I’m saving them, though.” “That reminds me, the deliverypony hasn’t been yet,” Rarity said, frowning at the door. “Sloppy service this year.” “I’m sure it’ll come before long. They usually start with the first years and work up,” Fly said. “Or at least, that’s what they told me.” Rarity nodded. “Well if anypony is interested, my date went fine too.” “Where did you go?” I asked, suppressing the urge to blurt out what Miri had told me. “Oh, we just went into Maneminster and had a walk. He lives over on the south side of the river somewhere,” Rarity replied, tucking her mane behind one of her ears and blinking. “It was nice. He gave me a card and some flowers.” I couldn’t see the flowers anywhere, which was strange. Fly caught my eye and seemed to be thinking exactly the same thing. Rarity just lay on her front and buried herself in a magazine, not seemingly happy to answer any more questions. I just sighed and went back to massaging my hooves, wondering where the deliverypony was and how much longer Miri was going to be in the bathroom. My makeup was starting to go a bit sticky. “I’m done,” Miri announced moments later, flinging the door to the bathroom open with gusto. I caught it with my magic to stop it slamming and then trotted past her, giving her a dark look as she giggled. The deliverypony came when I was cleaning my face, because when I emerged again there were three red envelopes on my bed. Miri was tearing open a stack of about ten, and telling us all who they were from. “This one’s probably from Thundertail. No idea who this is from, probably one of the younger fillies. Same for this one. Huh, I didn’t know that Prance Dance was still interested in me.” Fly only seemed to have two, but Rarity had more, mainly from the younger fillies. There was something cool about sending a Hearts & Hooves card to your role model in the older years, which explained why both Miri and Rarity had so many. I started to dig into mine. Fly’s was on top and was very sweet, complete with swirly handwriting. I put it up on my bedside table. The second was from Rarity, which nearly made my heart flutter but didn’t quite. I put it next to Fly’s. The third was a mystery; it was internally posted so it had to be from one of the younger fillies, but I couldn’t believe that any of them would possibly have me as a role model. I just shrugged and put it next to the others. “Miri, no card?” I asked, looking over at her as she opened her tenth one. “Oh, sorry. I forgot,” she said, flushing. “I’ll get them to you tomorrow.” I glanced at my mystery card and wondered about it. I’d never noticed anypony in the school admiring my fashion sense or staring at me as I walked past. It was probably a joke. Some of the silly younger ponies sending cards to the older ponies just to embarrass them. Or a dare! That was it. It was sent for a dare. I remembered that kind of thing happening when we were in the fourth year. I’d lost a bet and had to send a card to one of the sophisticated and popular seventh years. Then again, I quite admired her... oh, what was the use thinking about it. I’d never know.