//------------------------------// // The Premise // Story: Stranger Than Dictation // by Masem //------------------------------// Twilight Sparkle was fuming. Her slow, heavily-paced stride through the main thoroughfares of Ponyville itself was to drive most of the other residents to steer clear of her path and avert their gaze from her grimace. “Hey, Twilight!” Twilight didn’t even turn to look. “Not now, Pinkie,” she mumbled to herself. Pinkie Pie bounced over to Twilight, a plate of baked goods managing to stay balanced on her backside despite the jostling from her pronking. “What’s up, Twilight?” Pinkie asked, beaming at her friend. “Want to try a free sample from the Cakes?” “Pinkie, I’m not in the mood,” Twilight uttered through clenched teeth, her pace unbroken by Pinkie’s interruption. “Oh, come on! One of Mrs. Cake’s cookies will cheer you right up!” “Look, Pinkie. I’ve had a hard morning. All I want to do is get back to the library and take a long bath...” Pinkie tilted her head. “Oh, I guess you are mad. I can almost see a little black raincloud over your head—” “That is a little black raincloud, Pinkie.” On cue, a small burst of lightning lashed out at Twilight’s mane, fizzling the hair a bit more. “Oh!” Pinkie was for once surprised, jumping back as the cloud began to rain, dampening Twilight’s mane against her neck. She mulled for a moment. “Uh, so—” Twilight had yet to break her pace. “Remind me never to try to use my magic around Rainbow Dash when she’s trying to manipulate the weather.” Pinkie was at a loss for words, and had dropped into a more casual pace next to Twilight. “Is there anything I can do?” Twilight sighed, finally breaking her stare and looking towards her friend. “Just leave me alone for today, okay? I know you want to cheer me up, but I just need to fume for a bit. By myself.” “Well, if you really think so...” “I know so, Pinkie. Everypony just has one of these days, and I guess today’s that day for me.” Another miniature bolt of lightning punctuated her sentence. Twilight blew out the small flame that it lit on her mane. “I understand, Twi—” Pinkie’s face suddenly lightened. “Oh, that’s right! Derpy came by and said a package for you from Canterlot arrived today!” “Well, that’s one thing going right. Did Spike get it?” “No, she couldn’t find him, so she left it at the post office. She’d thought you might have been at Sugarcube Corner but you weren’t there either, so she told me to tell you.” Twilight gave Pinkie a brief smile. “Thanks, Pinkie. Now, if you’ll excuse me...” “Sure thing, Twi! Maybe you’ll want some cake later!” Pinkie called out as Twilight kept up her pace through town. She kept watch as Twilight turned a nearby corner. “I sure wish there was something I could do to help her,” she commented to nopony in particular before turning back towards Sugarcube Corner. Once there, Pinkie returned inside to restock the sample tray from freshly-baked goods that Mrs. Cake was preparing. Mr. Cake was nearby, watching over Pound and Pumpkin as the two toddlers played in their crib. “You seem awfully quiet, dear,” the older mare said as she placed another tray of cookies into the oven. “Oh, sorry, Mrs. Cake. I was just thinking about poor Twilight. She seemed really upset and I couldn’t think of anything to cheer her up.” Mrs. Cake frowned. “Not even one of my freshly baked cookies? She must have been really angry, I’ve never known her to turn down a treat like that.” Pinkie nodded as she refilled her sample tray. “Yeah, I think she was trying to do some magic around Dashie as she was controlling the weather.” Both of the Cakes gasped at that. “Oh dear, didn’t anyone tell her that—” Mr. Cake begin. “I think she knows now,” Pinkie frowned, before licking up one of the cookies to eat herself. “Magic and weather control just don’t mix,” Mrs. Cake nodded. “I can see why she’d be so upset to refuse a sample.” Pinkie sighed, lying her head down on the counter. “And I don’t think a party would be the best thing for her, either. She didn’t take too well to that bash I threw for her on her anniversary of meeting Gummy.” “Maybe you just should let her be, Pinkie.” Mr. Cake offered. “Sometimes, a pony just needs to be alone and to cool off.” “But there’s gotta be something I could do!” Pinkie insisted. She looked over to the toddlers, rolling a ball back and forth between each other. “Ohh, I know! I cheer up Pound and Pumpkin all the time when they’re grumpy!” Mr. Cake raised an eyebrow. “You’re not going to make funny faces at Twilight, I hope?” “Or sing that piggie song?” Mrs. Cake frowned, a confused look on her face. “Oh, no, no, no, sillies!” Pinkie laughed, and picked up the infants. Both smiled and bubbled with glee at Pinkie. “There’s other things I do for these two! Like tell them funny stories!” “Er, Pinkie—” Mrs. Cake began. “That’s what I’ll do! I’ll write Twilight a funny story!” Pinkie announced to the twins. “Twilight loves to read, and it’ll be a funny story to boot!” She stuffed the infants into Mr. Cake’s frantically-waiting hooves. “I just need to find paper and quills and ink!” The Cakes looked at each other with blank stares. “I don’t think we have much paper left, not after balancing our books yesterday.” Mrs. Cake offered. “Oh, that’s okay!” Pinkie grinned. “I’ll just go down to the store and get some! Thanks!” Pinkie dashed out the shop, leaving a small cloud of dust in her wake. Except for the sounds of the infants gurgling in laughter from Pinkie’s antics, the shop was silent. “Well, Pinkie is just going to write a story, right?” Mr. Cake offered his wife. “What harm could come of that?” “True, but this is Pinkie, dear.” Mrs. Cake frowned. “Things do tend to go all pretzel-shaped when she’s involved.” “Spike, I’m back!” Twilight shouted as she entered the library. The raincloud still hung above her head, while a large plain-paper-wrapped parcel floated behind her, suspended by her magic. “Spike?” She headed to the center of the room, setting the package on the central table. She glanced up towards her bedroom nook, but didn’t see any sign of her assistant. “Huh, I didn’t think he had plans for today,” Twilight muttered, turning her attention back to the package. “Oh, I do hope this is what I asked the Princess for...” Her magic made short work of the knotted strings, and soon the package fell open, revealing a ream of parchment along with a smaller slip of paper. Twilight quickly read the note. My faithful student, Twilight, Here is the supply of enchanted parchment that you requested for your research. Be careful with its magic, as while it is designed never to fade or crumble away, its properties are not fully explored. I can tell you to be careful what you think while you write—the paper has a way of predicting your inner thoughts, and, well, I shouldn’t have to remind you of that little issue I had with the ambassador from the griffon kingdom last year. I would be very careful with it around Spike, as the effects of his dragon magic on the paper are completely unknown. Sincerely, Princess Celestia. Twilight nodded, placing the note on top of the loose stack. “Shouldn’t be a problem, I’ll just make sure to set these aside for special research purposes and warn Spike to avoid them.” Her thoughts was interrupted by a knocking at the door. The caller didn’t wait and swung open the door herself. “Oh, Twilight, dear, Pinkie told me all about wh—” Rarity stopped short as she entered and looked at Twilight. “Oh my! That’s horrible!” As Rarity came over, Twilight looked up at the dark cloud that still floated over her head. “Oh, hi, Rarity. And it’s not really that bad—” “No, no, dear! Your mane! It’s positively horrendous!” Rarity used a hoof to prod the frazzled ends of Twilight’s hair. “We must get something done about that!” “Well, I was about to take a bath, and—” “Oh, no, no, no! That won’t do! This is a spa emergency!” Rarity cried with panic. “We must get you over there right away!” She got behind Twilight and started shoving at her with her head. Twilight hesitated. “But, what about, er, this?” she indicated the cloud over her head with her eyebrows. “Oh, that!” Rarity took a step forwards, and balancing herself on her front hooves, blew on the cloud, quickly dispersing it. “When you’ve been around Rainbow Dash as long as I have, you—” “—learn not to use magic when she’s trying to control the weather, right right.” Twilight sighed. “The spa sounds like a good idea. It’s been a long day, after all. Let me just put this paper away—” Rarity shook her head. “Oh, no time for that! You can put that parchment away any time, dear! But we must get you to the spa immediately!” Twilight paused for a moment. “Well, I guess I could take a bit of time to fix this mess up.” Rarity nodded to the door. “Don’t worry, Aloe and Lotus will take excellent care of you. We’ll get that mane of yours back to normal in no time.” The two left the library together, chatting about the upcoming pampering. The front door closed, just as the door to the library’s basement opened. “Twilight? Did you call?” Spike asked, looking around the main room. “I was sorting out those older books downstairs when—” His voice trailed off when he got no reply. “Huh, guess it was just the wind,” he shrugged to himself, and took stock of the shelves, scratching his head. “I know Twilight probably had more work for me to do, but I’d thought she’d be back by now. Oh well, more time for me to nap!” Just as he stepped foot onto the stairs, a knock came at the door. Spike heard Pinkie’s muffled voice call from outside. “Twilight, are you in there?” Spike stepped lively to open the door, sending a brief draft into the library. “Hey, Pinkie. I don’t know where Twilight is, she’s been gone all morning.” “Oh, that’s okay!” Pinkie grinned. “Actually, you’d do even better!” “Me?” Spike pointed at himself. “Oh, that’s right, you haven’t seen Twilight!” Pinkie rambled. “She’s had a terribly bad morning, and she didn’t even want a free sample from the Cakes! I think that whole raincloud thing had her in a really bad mood. And so I thought to myself how to cheer her up and I realized I could write a story that she might like to read, so she could take her mind off her bad mood. And then I realized that the Cakes didn’t have any paper or quills, and I figured I could borrow some from Twilight, but then you showed up! That’s just perfect!” She caught her breath, and beamed her infectious smile at Spike. Spike raised an eyebrow. “Perfect for what?” “Oh, that’s easy! You can write down my story for Twilight!” “Well, until Twilight gets back, I really don’t have anything else to do,” Spike explained as he scratched at his head. “But help you write a story? I don’t know...” “Oh, pleeeeease?” Pinkie begged, giving Spike a big smile and batting her eyes. Spike paused for a moment. “Well, just this once, I guess.” Pinkie bounced on her hooves. “Great! We’ll go back to Sugarcube Corner so that the story will be a big surprise to her when it's done!” Spike turned back into the library, quickly gathering some quills and ink from a desk. “Now, where did Twilight put that new order of paper we got?” he asked, looking around the room and quickly setting in on the stack on the central table. “Aha! There we go!” He gathered up the stack of parchment and with the quills and ink in claw, took off after Pinkie. The letter from Princess Celestia, blown off the stack from the earlier draft of wind, sat forlornly in the center of the library.