//------------------------------// // Nurse Luna: LPN // Story: Enter Nurse Luna! // by Foxy Kimchi //------------------------------// “Good night, Your Highness,” Iron Hoof bade with a nod of his head. “Good night, Lieutenant,” Celestia, the Princess of the Day, replied with a smile. With the glow of her horn, the doors to her bedchamber slowly opened. With regal grace, she strode in, closing the door behind her. Instantly, her shoulders dropped and her wings sagged. Grunting slightly, she removed her crown and peytral, levitating them onto a table next to her. She lazily kicked her legs out, unceremoniously flicking off her shoes. Sighing, she bent down and tried to stretch her legs as her wings flared out. She twisted and turned, trying to loosen all her joints. Ugh, why do I feel sore this evening? Was I sitting incorrectly? It’s not that hard to sit properly, unlike that bizarre sitting trend I’ve been seeing. Why sit upright like that? It looks so unnatural. She gave a light cough, her body and wings shivering violently all of a sudden. Even though it was the beginning of spring, her teeth were chattering. And now this? Isn’t it supposed to be spring? She continued to ponder, her horn glowing, as she closed her balcony doors and windows. Her mane and wings sagging, Celestia set a drowsy pace towards her bathroom to start her nightly routine. Yet, as time went on, she began to feel more exhausted and sore. Begrudgingly walking toward her bed, she flopped down on it with a loud whoosh. Why do I feel terrible all of a sudden? It’s as if I just fell off Canterlot. Ugh. Celestia continued to think as she stretched her hooves into the air, groaning as her joints popped. Oh well. Nothing a good night’s rest can’t fix. Celestia shifted around on her bed until she got comfortable, resting her head on a pillow. She smiled slightly as she closed her eyes, ready for blissful sleep to take her away. Except that it didn’t. Minutes turned to hours as Celestia tossed and turned in her bed. She tried wrapping herself in blankets, but then she felt too hot, and when she removed them, her body started to shiver from the cold. All the while, her muscles and joints became even more sore and fatigued. “Enough of this!” Celestia yelled as she jumped from her bed. As soon as her hooves touched the ground, she let out a groan as her knees buckled. Her horn glowed as the cabinet across the room opened, and a bottle of single malt whiskey along with a glass floated towards her. I am out of options. I have to work tomorrow, Celestia thought as she poured herself a glass. Sighing loudly, she swirled the liquid around with her magic, staring at the ripples she made in the liquor. She groaned as she raised the glass to her muzzle. I do hate drinking good whiskey like this, but I do not have time to sip it. Such a shame that it will be wasted on such a trivial matter. Quickly, she lifted her head back, promptly emptying the contents of the glass. Another glass was poured and downed like the one before. Celestia pounded the glass on the table next to her bed, her body and wings shaking. She grimaced as the brown liquid burned its way down her throat. She placed the bottle and glass back in the cabinet. Afterwards, she lay back down, letting out a loud sigh. She could already feel slightly drowsy from the alcohol, and she hoped it would finally help her sleep. Unfortunately, it did not. She drifted in and out of sleep a few times, occasionally grunting in frustration as she tried to get comfortable, only to have to get up and use the restroom. This pattern continued throughout the night until her internal clock told her that she had to raise the sun. She sat up and coughed, rubbing her head with a hoof. Slowly rolling out of bed, she grunted as she stood up. Her joints were still sore while her muscles were even more fatigued. Worse yet, she had developed a cough. Maybe a hot shower will help, she thought to herself as she made her way to the bathroom. Celestia pulled her shower curtains back as she turned on the water, using her magic to adjust the water knobs while putting her hoof under the stream. “Ah yes, a nice shower will fix all of my problems,” Celestia said to herself, smiling. But like everything that had happened during the night, it only made things worse. Her nose was now red and stuffy, her cough was worse, and her joints still ached. Even through her aches and pains, Celestia forced her way through her morning routine. She made her bed, brushed her teeth, and combed her mane. Contrary to popular belief, even an ethereal, rainbow mane like hers required combing, especially after a shower. After putting on her crown and other regalia, she slowly walked out of her room, her head sagging. “Good morning, Princess!” Lieutenant Iron Hoof greeted as he watched Princess Celestia exit her room. The guard next to him gave a slight bow. Celestia’s ears flicked upon hearing her guard. She lifted her head, smiling weakly at him. “Good morning, my little pony,” she replied as cheerfully as she could. Iron Hoof’s eyes widened as he took in the sight of Celestia’s sagging mane, bloodshot eyes, and puffy red nose. “P-Princess, are you feeling alright?” Celestia forced herself to keep her smile, waving a hoof halfheartedly towards him. The moment she placed her hoof down on the ground, her front knees buckled. Her chest heaved, and she let out a series of coughs, quickly raising a hoof to her mouth to try to hide it. “Oh, there is no need to worry. I am quite fine,” she said weakly. “Now, I must be off to raise the sun.” “Sir,” a guard whispered to Iron Hoof as the princess of the sun walked away from them, her head and wings sagging. “The Princess does not look well, almost as if she was sick.” “Indeed she does,” Iron Hoof replied as he continued to watch Celestia. “Should we do something?” the guard asked, looking at Iron Hoof. Iron Hoof looked back towards the guard next to him. “You’re right,” he answered. “Go inform Princess Luna of the situation. She should know what to do.” “Yes, sir!” the guard said as he saluted. Celestia panted as she made her way to the Royal Balcony of the Sun where she raised the sun every day. Across from it was the Royal Balcony of the Moon where her sister would raise and lower the moon. As soon as she made it to the top, she fell to her haunches, breathing heavily through her mouth due to her stuffy nose. She gulped as she tried to rest for a moment, steadying her breath and heart rate before performing her sacred duty. “Sister, is everything all right?” Celestia heard from behind her. A hoof touched her shoulder. Celestia jumped, her wings flaring out. She quickly turned her head around and found herself staring right into Luna’s teal eyes. “Oh, sister, it’s you,” she said feebly. “What brings you to this side of the castle? I thought you would be in bed by now.” “I would, dear sister, if it were not for one of your guards and my guards having an argument outside my bedroom.” Luna sat down next to Celestia. “Sister, you do not look well at all.” Celestia coughed into her hoof. “Oh, I’m fine, really. It’s nothing at all. It will probably clear up as the day goes on.” Luna raised an eyebrow at her sister. Celestia’s smile could not hide the fact that she looked awful. Gently, Luna raised a hoof to Celestia’s forehead. “My goodness!” Luna shouted as her wings flared up. “You are burning up more than your sun! You are sick, dear sister!” Celestia quickly swatted away her sister’s hoof. “Nonsense, Luna. I am fine! It is just allergies.” “Lies!” Luna retorted sternly as she glared at Celestia. “Both you and I know that we do not suffer from allergies. So it seems that the logical conclusion is that you are sick. It is most likely the centennial flu.” “I am not sick!” Celestia shouted as she stamped her hoof on the ground. She puffed out her chest while raising her head. Suddenly, she bent over, clutching her chest as she started to cough. “Yes, you are!” Luna argued as she stood in front of Celestia. “You need bed rest! There is no way you can rule like this. You can barely stand from the looks of it! No, sister, you need rest. More importantly, you need somepony to take care of you!” “I do not!” Celestia retorted, lifting her muzzle up while closing her eyes. Seconds passed as a tense silence hung between the two rulers. Celestia slowly opened an eye. Luna, however, sat there with wide eyes, her jaw hanging down. “Luna, what is wrong?” she asked quietly. Luna sat there for a couple more seconds. Slowly, her lips pulled back into a smile. As her smile grew larger, Celestia could have sworn she saw fangs. “L-Luna, what is wrong?” Celestia asked again nervously, her eyes darting around. “You need somepony to take care of you,” Luna said quietly, still smiling menacingly at her sister. “And I just happen to know a pony who can... From this day forth, I shall aid you in your recovery!” “What?” Celestia shouted, her eyes bulging at the idea. “Why on Equestria would you do such a thing?” “But why wouldn't I, sister?” Luna replied as she wrapped a wing around her. “As your sister, it is my duty to take care of you!” Celestia began to sweat, unsure if it was from her fever or her anxiety. “Nonsense, Luna, you shouldn’t waste your time with me.” “Oh, but I should!” Luna chirped cheerfully. “If I recall, there was a law put in place last time I got sick.” Luna closed her eyes while her horn glowed. Suddenly, a scroll appeared before her with a loud ‘pop’. “Ah, here it is.” Luna unrolled it and cleared her throat. “Royal Decree number one thousand, three hundred, and thirty seven. If either of the Royal Sisters fall ill, she will be deemed unfit to rule until she recovers. During that time, it will be the responsibility of the other sister to take care of her during her illness. Signed by none other than the Regent of the Sun, Celestia.” “B-but I made that law over a thousand years ago!” Celestia cried out. “Yes, you did, just when I happened to fall ill with a similar illness. Hmm, such a strange coincidence how that happened, is it not, dear sister of mine?” Luna replied. “S-still, that law was made a long time ago!” Celestia shouted as she backed away. She quickly turned around and tried to run but found herself in the grasp of her sister’s aura. “I know, but there was no law turning down this one. Have no worries, sister! I will take care of you!” Luna shouted cheerfully. “B-but I cannot leave the throne! Who else will raise the sun?” Celestia wailed as she flailed her legs helplessly. Luna gave a loud sigh as she pointed her glowing horn towards the horizon. Slowly, the sun began to rise, filling Equestria with its radiant glow. “See, all taken care of,” Luna replied with a smirk. Doing an about face, she skipped down the hallway with her sister in tow. “Do not act so shocked; you are not the only one who can raise both the sun and moon.” “B-but, but,” Celestia tried to protest but was cut off by a coughing fit. “Sister, relax,” Luna cooed as she lowered Celestia’s head in front of hers, their eyes locked. “I remember everything you did to take care of me, everything.” All the color from Celestia’s face vanished, her eyes wide with horror. Her struggles intensified as she tried to free herself from her sister’s grip. However, the more she pushed herself, the more she coughed and wheezed. “Ah yes,” Luna continued as she carried Celestia through the halls. “I remember it like it was yesterday. The most foul-tasting medicine you shoved down my throat, how you took away all my sweets, and worst of all, how you made me eat alfalfa.” “But those were supposed to make you feel better!” Celestia whined. “Just how it will make you feel better!” Luna giggled as she began to skip down the hallways. “NOOOOOO!” Lieutenant Iron Hoof watched vigilantly from his post, or as vigilantly as one does when staring at a brick wall. His eyes scanned the hallways. When he was sure nopony was there, he let out a massive yawn. “Just a couple more minutes until I can finally sleep,” he mumbled to himself. His ears flicked as he heard a pony round the corner. “Ah good, Private, you’re back. Did you tell Princess Luna about her sister’s condition?” The private stopped in front of him and threw a salute. “Yes, sir!” “So what happened?” The private lowered his hoof and rubbed the back of his head, grumbling. “Stupid Night Guards, so pushy.” “What was that?” “Nothing, sir!” the private quickly blurted out. “Ok...” Iron Hoof said as he raised an eyebrow. “So what happened?” “Oh that! Princess Luna got the memo,” the private replied. “Very good, Private,” Iron Hoof replied as he patted the private’s shoulder. “Let us get back to our post. We still have our job to do.” “Of course, sir,” the private answered as he went back to his post. The two guards stood there outside of Celestia’s bedchambers. “Sister, put me down this instant!” a voice called out. “No, I will not. I am doing my royal duty!” another voice called out in response. “Please?” “Nay, sister! I remember saying the same thing, and yet you did not concede.” “But this is different!” “Tis’ not.” “Tis’ so!” Both Lieutenant Iron Hoof’s and the private’s jaws dropped as they saw both Princess Celestia and Luna emerge around the corner. “Guards!” Celestia called out, waving her hoof before letting out a cough. “Come to my rescue, your princess needs it!” Instantly, both guard’s faces hardened as they assumed a defensive stance. “Oh hush, Celestia,” Luna replied as she rolled her eyes. “You are being even more dramatic than me.” Luna stopped as she eyed the two guards in front of her. “AT EASE, GUARDS. AS YOU CAN SEE, MY SISTER IS ILL AT THE MOMENT. THUS, IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY, BY ROYAL DECREE, TO TAKE CARE OF HER,” she announced in the Royal Canterlot Voice as she floated a scroll towards them. Cautiously, Iron Hoof picked it up with his magic and began to read it. His eyes scanned the paper from left to right. Suddenly, his eyes widened. “P-Princess, is this your signature?” Iron Hoof asked in a confused tone. Celestia’s eyes darted back and forth. “Well, you see—” “It is indeed,” Luna interrupted as she opened Celestia’s bedchamber doors. “I am merely following my own sister’s order. Now, you two are dismissed from your post.” “No, don’t leave!” Celestia cried out as she was floated into her room. “Go fetch Twilight Sparkle this instant!” Luna turned around and smiled at them. “That will not be necessary. As you read on that scroll, my sister is unfit to rule at the moment.” Both guards stared at each other, eyes wide and with their jaws hanging. “Now go on, you are dismissed,” Luna said as she walked into Celestia’s room. “Go on, shoo,” she continued as she waved her hoof at them. “Nooooo!” Celestia cried out as her bedroom doors slammed shut. Both guards stared at the door in front of them, neither of them able to move or comprehend what happened. Finally, the private looked at his superior. “Sir, what should we do? Should we contact the rest of the guard?” “That will not be necessary, Private,” Iron Hoof replied, his eyes still on the doors in front of him. “Then whatever shall we do?” the private asked. “I don’t know about you,” Iron Hoof answered as he took off his helmet, “But I am going to need a drink right about now.” “But, sir!” the private called out. “It is only 6:30 in the morning.” “Private,” Iron Hoof said as he got up. “After what we just saw, I don’t know how you could not drink.” “Really, sister,” Luna chided as she lowered Celestia onto her bed gently, tucking her in and propping her head. “Did you really have to make a scene out there? I mean, must you give more reasons for our subjects to mistrust me?” Celestia looked down, her ears flattening. “Luna, I’m sorry, I didn’t think about that.” “It is all right, sister,” Luna replied, smiling. “I know you did not mean it. I just assume that it is because you were sick and all.” “Really, Luna,” Celestia said, blowing her nose with a tissue. “You do not need to take care of me.” “Nonsense!” Luna replied, her wings flaring. “I already said that I will take care of you, and I mean it. Besides, what kind of sibling would I be if I did not care for my sister when she was ill?” “But you might catch what I have!” “Hmmmm,” Luna said as she rubbed her chin. “Do you have a headache?” “Yes.” “Aching muscles and joints?” “Yes.” “Fatigue?” “That too.” “A sore throat?” “No, thankfully.” “Well,” Luna continued. “Based on the symptoms you just told me, added with your fever, cough, and runny nose, I assume that you have a case of the centennial flu.” “But that does not change the fact that you can contract what I have if you are around me!” “I also assume you forgot to get the centennial vaccination. Luckily for me, I got one when I came back, along with all the other required ones. So fret not, sister! I will be fine,” Luna replied cheerfully. “But, Luna, you really do not have to do this. I mean, who else is going to govern Equestria?” Celestia coughed out. “Sister, I am sure that our ponies are strong enough to govern themselves for at least a week. They will be fine,” Luna reassured. “But still...” “Well, sister,” Luna continued. “If you really do not want me to take care of you, then I guess my only other option would be to seduce your student, Twilight Sparkle, while you are indisposed.” “WHAT?” Celestia shouted as she sat up, her eyes wide. “What?” Luna replied as she put a hoof on her chest. “Afraid that I will steal her away from you?” “N-No!” Celestia blurted, a blush growing on her face. “But you cannot do such a thing!” “And why not?” Luna asked. “She is a grown mare and is free to love whoever she wants to. And I am a Princess, I can do what I want too, you know. You are not the only princess here.” “B-but, b-but—” Luna burst out laughing, her wings fluttering. “You are too easy, sister! We already know that you have a massive crush on her. Now why would I want to interfere with love?” “I do not have a crush on my student!” Celestia cried out, her blush growing brighter. “Oh please, sister,” Luna replied. “Everypony in Equestria can see that you two love each other. Maybe you should just toughen up and admit that to her. Trust me, am I not the Princess of the Night, the time meant for lovers?” Celestia’s face was beet-red, her eyes darting everywhere but at her sister. “Now,” Luna said as she clapped her hooves. There was a flash of blue light, and Luna's regalia changed to a nurse outfit. “Won’t this be so much fun!”