//------------------------------// // Help I Am Trapped in a Really Houselike Cave // Story: Thirty Minute Express Train to Story Town // by Predhack //------------------------------// To the Moderators of Thirty Minute Pony Stories, You may have noticed that the submissions this week from the writer, “Hurricane’s Ghost,” have had a particular theme outside that which was prescribed by your theme week. This was not accidental. In an attempt to increase awareness of the lack of pony pet related prompts, we the P.E.T.S. , who were mentioned briefly in an earlier story this week, despite our express order that we not be mentioned by name, have kidnapped one of your regular writers and forced him to write stories that matched our chosen theme. Yes this sounds a lot like the same story as the CMC one, we don’t know what happened there. (I didn’t have any other ideas. And writing what you know is easy.) Shutup and keep writing what we say (Fine…) Ahem, as I was saying. After this week of pet related submissions we are sure you are beginning to see the greatness of pet stories. In order to continue this train of thought the stories will continue until prompts we find acceptable are commonplace. (Wait, what? I don’t know if I can come up with a pet prompt everyday. What if they start taking it as a challenge?) I’m sure your writing skills are up to the-… Are you writing everything we say? (Uh… yeah. That’s what you told me to do.) Then why are you writing what YOU say? (Well if I don’t then it might confuse the reader.) Or you could just write the parts that are supposed to go in a letter and stop being difficult. (In my defense, I am writing this under duress.) Alright, that’s it. Winona! Give it to him! (Noo! Not the puppy dog eyes! Not the- Oh, whose a cute little poochie. You are! Yes, you are!) Right, back to the let- (Quiet Angel, doggy is making cute face. Whose a good dog? You are, yes you- OW MY EYE! Dang it Angel I need that for seeing things!) [Uh, guys? Fluttershy just showed up outside looking for you. What do you want me to tell her?] What? How did she know we were here, Harry? [Um. She asked if I’d seen you, and I told her yes.] WE’RE IN HIDING! [Well, how was I supposed to know that?] How about the part where we ASKED TO HIDE IN YOUR HOUSE! [Cave.] Cave. Ugh, Opal, go take care of talking to Fluttershy {No, I think I’m comfy. Maybe I’ll take a nap.} Will you- GARGH. Are you still writing!? (Um… yes?) By Fluttershy’s kindness you are stupider than Gummy! (Uh… dude you really wanna say that? He’s standing right there…) Does he look upset by me calling him that? (…I dunno. He’s gnawing on his tail, is that an angry-) HE DOESN’T CARE. He’s too STUPID to care that I’m degrading his intelligence! That’s another thing why do authors keep making him out to be brilliant, he can’t gather enough focus to blink both eyes at once! [Uh guys? Fluttershy is still-] I’M COMING TO DEAL WITH FLUTTERSHY! Winona come with me, the rest of you stay down here. I’ll be right back and we’ll start the letter over. And it will be perfect this time. Starting with Dear So and So and signed, Sincerely, The P.E.T.S. (…Okay he’s gone. Mods, I’m going to try and escape now. Gummy seems to be trying to drag me someplace, I’m gonna follow him. If the constant pet stories continue, please send help.) {I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to stop you.} (I’m also sure you’re very comfy Opal and stopping me is more effort than it’s worth.) {Eh. True enough. Don’t let the secret back exit hit you on the tail on your way out.} (Alright, I’m outta he- Guh, why am I still writing. I’m sending this off to the mods now okay?) {Knock yourself out} (Right. See you guys later Hurricane’s Ghost) —- Dear P.E.T.S, We are fairly certain of a few things. One of which is that P.E.T.S does not actually stand for anything. Another being that you apparently are unaware of one mod who goes by the name “Commander Overlord Supergenius Professor Piggy” who takes great offense to the accusations of Gummy’s lack of intelligence. In fact, he has now taken a hostage of his own (Bookman, to be precise) and is threatening to do horrible horrible things to him (like say mean things about his beloved Azusa) if we do not ban any and all prompts about pets other than Gummy from this day onward. I’m sure you understand that the safety of one of our own must take precedence over the supposed safety of one of our duckies. With apology, The Mods of TMP P.S- Thanks to your shenanigans we are forced to have nothing but Gummy prompts for the next three to six weeks. I hope you’re happy.