//------------------------------// // The Crazy Thing About Evenings // Story: Jokers Wild // by blowngasket //------------------------------// Chapter 13: The Crazy Thing About Evenings Fluttershy paced around her house nervously. Angel, agitated by her current behavior, followed her around trying to calm her down, mainly so she can feed him. "Oh Angel, I don't know what to do. What if I make a mistake and he doesn't want to spend time with me anymore?" she asked the rabbit. Angel simply raised an eyebrow. He jumped up and poked Fluttershy where her heart is. "You're right Angel! As long as I listen to my heart, I should be fine," Fluttershy said as she ran upstairs. Little did she know that he meant to go for the stomach. She quickly ran back downstairs and looked at Angel. "I am sorry, Angel. I almost forgot to feed you!" Fluttershy apologized as she went into the kitchen, making a salad. "I am just so nervous. It is just so hard to explain. You understand?" Angel just stared for a second and shook his head. She finished the salad and set it down. It didn't take long for Angel to go at it with a hungry vengeance. Fluttershy walked out of the kitchen and back upstairs to get herself put together. She wanted to try and impress Perry, but she has never really felt the need to do so before, so she didn't know what to really do. She would have called Rarity, but odds are that she was busy with him, and so she had to rely on the one other person who knew how to impress people, Rainbow Dash. ---------- ---------- ---------- Rainbow was napping on a cloud as it floated over Ponyville. Her day had been relatively peaceful, with the exception of a floating Pinkie with more balloons than what was logical strapped to her back, but logic was never Rainbow's strong suit. She liked to go with the flow, and that's why she couldn't help but grumble when she heard Fluttershy calling her name from a distance. She sighed and opened her eyes, only to be greeted face to face by said Fluttershy. "Holy crap!" she yelled and jumped, causing Fluttershy to jump back as well, almost falling off the cloud. "I am sorry for waking you," Fluttershy said softly, looking at a slightly groggy and infuriated Rainbow. "I... need your help," she looked away and blushed slightly. Rainbow looked at her. If Fluttershy was willing to fly up to her it had to be big. "What's up, Fluttershy?" she asked, a bit concerned. "Ummm... how do I put this... I umm... I need advise!" Fluttershy finally yelled out before looking away. "Advise on what? I will do what I can but I bet you're better off asking egghead down there," she pointed to the library where Twilight lived. Fluttershy shook her head. "I need advise... on...impressing a man," she said quietly, blushing as she looked at Rainbow with pleading eyes. "No way! You like someone? Who is it?" Rainbow asked. Fluttershy's face reddened even more as she looked at her friend. "..." even though Rainbow had grown accustom to Fluttershy's quietness, even she couldn't hear that. "He's bringing me... to the party tonight," she said afterwards. Rainbow figured she would never get Fluttershy to say it loud enough for anything to hear, so she decided to wait until tonight to properly judge this man who had captured Fluttershy's heart. "So you want...my advice to impress him?" Fluttershy nodded, looking at Rainbow. "Well, from my experience, guys want you to take total control of the situation. Make sure you never stop saying how awesome you are to them. Also remember that guys like you to get all close to them. Try whispering naughty things into his ear. I bet that will get him all hyped up." "Rainbow...are you sure that works?" Fluttershy asked, slightly confused on this advice. "Fluttershy, I would never steer you wrong. I have had more guys flock to me like that than I can count! You may not know it, but I have had at least twenty different relationships, easily making me a pro! Never lasted more than a week, but I am sure it was because I was too awesome for them," Rainbow boasted to Fluttershy. "Umm but isn't that a bad thing that they were so short?" Fluttershy asked. Rainbow merely chuckled at the comment. "No, that just means that I have that much more experience in the subject than you. Trust me, Flutters. Follow this advice and the night will be a total success. I guarantee it!" Rainbow said confidently. "Ok, Rainbow. I trust you. What do I do first?" Fluttershy asked her, getting ready to try and remember all the lessons. "All right Fluttershy, lesson one..." ---------- ---------- ---------- "It is almost time!" Perry said to himself as he walked to Fluttershy's house. The sun was low, but its light could still be seen. It made the evening all the better. He was wearing the nice suit that Rarity gave him, as well as the new mask. He loved the design of it, but preferred his still. He truly believed Rarity was the crazy one, thinking his mask was ugly and creepy. Perry looked like he was ready to conquer the world, and he sure felt like it too. He stood in front of her door, staring at it. Even now this door was an obstacle to be reckoned with, still so hard to pass through. It was a two by seven obstacle with at least two inches of Perry proof thickness. Perhaps he should ask Fluttershy to take the door down one day, but that would be bad in the winter. Still a thought to think about. Knocking on the door, he waited. ---------- ---------- ---------- Fluttershy jumped when she heard the knock at her door. She was all ready, wearing a simple but nice green dress, with a matching colored jacket to hide her wings. It wasn't anything revealing, just the way she liked it. "Okay, Fluttershy, you can do this. Just remember everything Rainbow taught you," she told herself. She walked over to the door, trying to remember lesson one. Introductions are everything, you gotta greet him in a way that will make sure he remembers who you are, while maintaining a strong look. Try saying this to him when he arrives to pick you up. It's sure to leave a lasting impression. She opened the door, looking at Perry in his new outfit, standing there casually. She almost froze at the sight of him, but remembered her lessons. "What's up, dude?" she casually said to him. Perry tilted his head to the side slightly, confused at what brought that on. He wasn't sure if she was so nervous that she flipped, or if she was trying to be funny. "Nice...to see you, too. Your dress is quite lovely," Perry said after a few seconds. He could tell from her eyes she was nervous, but was still curious on what brought that about. "Of course it is, I made it myself!" Fluttershy said back, prompting more baffled stares from behind the mask. Lesson two. Whenever given the chance, talk about your achievements. Guys love to listen to how awesome their girls are. "Well... you did a remarkable job on it," Perry said to Fluttershy. "Anyways, we should get going," Fluttershy nodded and walked out, not waiting for Perry to follow. He sighed as he walked behind her. 'What happened to my Fluttershy,' he silently thought to himself. While walking, Fluttershy was telling Perry of all that she has done with and for animals, including all the times she has helped them. Perry listened, but never had a chance to really add his comments, as Fluttershy constantly interrupted him. It didn't help that Fluttershy couldn't tell what his facial reactions were, and how much he was not enjoying the attitude she was giving. All that she knew is that he was there and attentive. "Fluttershy...?" he tried to speak again, but was interrupted. "Almost done. I still have to tell you about how I singlehandedly forced a dragon to move out of the surrounding mountains," she said to him. He finally deciding to stop moving. "Fluttershy, listen!" he yelled up, causing her to flinch at the volume of his voice. He looked at her and sighed. "I don't know what is going on...but this doesn't feel right," he said to her. She tried to remember what to do in case of an emergency. Lesson 23.5. If he seems disinterested, here's what you do. Get up close and whisper this into his ear. It is bound to work on any guy who is a real man. She decided that it was now or never. She leaned in close and started to whisper into his ear. He stood there and just stared at her, completely shocked at what she had said. Fluttershy looked at Perry backing away slightly, starting to get nervous at his lack of reaction. "Fluttershy?" he started to speak to her sternly. She looked at him, nervous that she might have messed up. He sighed and then, to Fluttershy's surprise, chuckled slightly. "Did you go to Rainbow Dash for dating advice?" she looked shocked at what he had said, verifying his question. "How...how did you know?" she asked, blushing with embarrassment at being caught. "Out of all of the people I have met in Ponyville, she is the only person I could see saying that," Perry laughed. "You're being silly Fluttershy, I like you for how you are. You don't need to try and impress me, because you have already succeeded. All of this so far is kinda silly," she turned even redder and looked down, though smiling. "I am sorry. I just didn't want to make any mistakes. I thought that Rainbow's advice was...well...bad. I really am sorry," Fluttershy said to Perry. He gently hugged her. "It is fine, Flutters. Apology accepted," Perry said to her. "Now how about we enter in all close and surprise everyone," he broke off the hug, but moved to her side and wrapped his arm around her, causing her to jump. Perry smiled at her reaction, while she slowly wrapped her arms around him. The door to Sugarcube corner was right there with people entering already for the party. They made there way in as a couple. A slightly overdressed couple, but Perry always did like drawing attention to himself, and today he wanted it. "Are you ready for this?" he asked Fluttershy. She nodded to him and smiled. They walked to the door together and entered Sugarcube Corner. The party was already in full swing. People were dancing, eating and talking with each other. The snack table was filled with all kinds of party favors, including that delicious cake Perry requested. Perry and Fluttershy walked in, Fluttershy blushing as she noticed all of her friends watching as they walked in arms wrapped around each other. Most of them smiled, except for Rainbow. Perry looked over to her and gave a kind of creepy chuckle as he thought about what was going threw her head. "Hey Rainbow, I need to have a talk with you about some... interesting advise you gave my Fluttershy here," Fluttershy hid her face, but smiled at the comment. Rainbow, on the other hand, started to look scared. "Oh...crap..." Rainbow said, Perry and Fluttershy casually walking up to her. She started to look nervous, wondering what could have gone wrong with her advise. Had it been any other guy, she figured her advice was fool proof, but she wasn't sure when it came to Perry. He was too 'different' for it to work on him. He casually snickered as they were now face to mask with each other, she letting out a nervous laugh of her own. "It's ok, Rainbow. I am not mad, as you were trying to help your friend. But seriously...'I want you to fill me up with your twelve inch hoagie'..." he looked at Fluttershy. "Did you even know what that meant?" she looked at him confused slightly. "I figured it meant that you would be willing to make me a nice sandwich," Fluttershy said all sweetly and innocently. Perry laughed at the way she answered, the naivety and sweetness making her seem even more adorable than before. "Umm sure. Let's go with that answer," Perry said, slightly embarrassed. He then proceeded to look at Rainbow. "I am sure that advice would work on males of the mindless variety, so don't feel bad. You can like whoever you want to, so no harm no foul, right Rainbow?" he said to her, getting awfully close to her face. The new mask design didn't help the creepiness factor of his gaze. "Right...no harm...I am...going to go eat food now...later!" With that, Rainbow made her way out of the awkward situation and into the snack bar. Her spot was soon replaced with the rest of the girls, all asking questions at the same time. It was impossible for Perry to try and figure out what they were saying. "Calm down! One at a time, please. It is hard enough to hear with the music playing," Perry said loudly. Getting them to calm down so he could have a chance of understanding them. "Rarity, you first. I at least owe you that for the wonderful job," he said to the group. They may have all went quiet, but they were still fidgeting like a group of giddy school girls at a juicy rumor. "So, Fluttershy is the special girl who has captured your heart as you were telling me?" Rarity asked. "Yes, and again, thank you for the suit and mask, it does indeed go well with her. Now she doesn't have to be embarrassed to be seen with me," Perry said laughing. Unlike him, Fluttershy felt a bit nervous with all the questions and being crowded. She stayed quite, hiding meekly behind his arm. "Ok, Twilight, you're next." "Why?" she asked pretty plainly to Fluttershy. She was happy for her friend of course, but still kind of confused. "What do you possibly see in him that makes you want to go out with him?" Perry frowned under his mask, wanting to call Twilight out on being mean to him, but not wanting another of her bolts to the face. "Well, I guess...umm," Fluttershy was trying to speak, though she was still embarrassed, trying to hide herself behind Perry slightly. "He is just...him. I don't think there is anything else to it," it was Perry's turn to blush, though his was hidden behind the mask. He loved how those things hid his expressions when he didn't feel like showing them to others. "Applejack, I haven't seen you in some time, why don't you go next," Perry said to her. She simply walked up to him and looked him in the eyeholes. "You're not trying to play Fluttershy here, are ya? Cause if ya are, you're going to be in a world of hurt. I mean a huge world of hurt, Apple family style," she cracked her knuckles to intimidate Perry. He knew she was only protecting her friend, so he couldn't be upset. Still, Perry needed to stand his ground with Applejack to get his point across. "Applejack, I understand your desire to protect your friend. Actions do speak louder than words, however," Perry cracked his knuckles as well, eliciting a gasp from the girls, especially Fluttershy. "If you think you can keep me from her, try as you might. I will take anything you can throw at me. Apple family style or not, if you're going to make those kinds of accusations towards me, be prepared," he finished as he stood face to face with her. "Perry, please don't fight with her," Fluttershy asked. Applejack looked towards her friend and smiled. "Don't ya'll worry yourselves. Any man who's willing to truss with me like this is more than good in my eyes," she said to all of them. Fluttershy sighed in relief, as well as the rest of them, including Perry. "That's good to hear," Perry gasped, more thrilled than anyone else. "Ok, Pinkie, we shall close the questioning with you, as I am sure that the cake over there isn't going to eat itself," Perry said, eyeing the cake like a beast to it's prey. "Okie dokie! I wanna know if I could plan your wedding!" she said excitedly. Of course fate would have it that Perry decided at the perfect time to swallow that little bit of saliva that built up from staring. The shock of such a question sent it down the wrong path, leading to a slight coughing fit. "Umm I have to go wash out my mask now... Be back in a second ladies," he quickly headed to the bathroom, leaving the poor Fluttershy there to answer the question given. She was blushing heavily, just staring at the girls, not knowing what to say. She decided to avoid the question, so she went with the best excuse she could think of while under the pressure. "I have to go wash my mask out as well, be right back!" she said quickly as she went to the ladies room. All the girls were laughing except for Pinkie. She just stared at the group. "So did you all know that Fluttershy wore a mask? Was I the only one?" she said to the girls, who only proceeded to laugh harder. ---------- ---------- ----------- The wedding question long into the past, a good thirty minutes to be exact. Everyone was enjoying their time together. Having a few laughs with their friends and enjoying the snacks. Perry and Fluttershy generally avoided any more relationship based questions from them, wanting to just enjoy the evening without feeling like they were under a spotlight. Perry wasn't the kind to brag about being with someone, and Fluttershy was Fluttershy. Quiet and timid, she had a hard time answering anything more than yes and no when people she wasn't all to familiar with asked her about them. The party for the most part had been a big success, as everyone enjoyed it, still not one hundred percent sure what it was about to begin with, but they didn't need a reason to enjoy one of Pinkie's parties. Perry was off in a corner, eating a plate of cake. One small bite at a time this time around, he slipped it under his mask with a fork, trying to not mess it up again. Fluttershy was talking with a few people, who Perry guessed were clients who needed animal advice based on the questions he had heard them asking. Rainbow, holding a plate of her own, snuck up next to Perry and started to talk with him. "So, you and Flutters, huh?" she asked him. He simply nodded towards her, sticking another bite under his mask. "It's not that I don't mind or anything... I am just worried about her. You wouldn't flip out on her...like you did me right?" she asked a bit quietly. Perry turned to look at her, and gently ruffled her already shaggy hair. At first she flinched at his subtle assault, before laughing a little.. "I doubt Fluttershy would try to beat the piss out of me in a blind rage," Perry said, Rainbow chuckling more as she thought back to the incident as well, happy that it could be brought down to two stupid mistakes and nothing more. "But even if, and we are talking a huge if here, knowing her, I would never do anything that could hurt her. Your concern towards your friend is greatly appreciated. Maybe, if things do work out, I will ask you to be my best man," he chuckled. "Thanks, Perry. That means...wait a minute! Who in the hell are you calling a man?!" she yelled slightly. He just continued to chuckle, eventually causing her to laugh again as well. "Ok, I had that coming," Rainbow said after finally calming down. "You seem different though, almost like you're happy because you're happy. It suits ya," she told Perry. "You may not know it but your comment has indeed made me smile," he told Rainbow. "By the way, while we are on the topic. Are you ever going to show us that ugly mug of yours?" she asked him. In an attempt to rile her up, Perry said something, in a moment that included lack of thinking, that he felt would soon cause a mob to surround Fluttershy. "I think Fluttershy might get jealous if she finds out anyone else has seen it," he told her slyly. She simply hung her jaw in awe and decided that Fluttershy was now the person to go to. She started to quickly walk towards Fluttershy, Perry instantly regretted this decision. He felt it was his duty to save his new girlfriend from the onslaught of questions. In a quick movement, he stepped in front of Rainbow and gently picked Fluttershy up. She gasped in shock at the sudden contact. "Come, let us go for a walk while the night air is crisp and fresh." "Umm sure, I guess, but won't you be doing all the walking if you carry me?" she asked as Perry quickly headed for the door. "Trivial facts. Not important," he told Fluttershy, noticing Rainbow now telling the rest of her friends. All of them looked on in shock and confusion at his sudden evacuation. Perry didn't hesitate to exit the building, not wanting to let his stupid mouth ruin the evening. Fluttershy didn't complain, though, as she wrapped her arms around him and gently held on, smiling and placing her head into his chest. When he felt he was at a safe distance in the middle of town square, he finally started to tell her what happened. "Sorry about that. I might of let it slip, in a moment of ignorance and pure stupidity, that you have seen my face," he told her. She looked at him, slightly confused. "Was that a bad thing, because if it was, I am sorry I looked..." Fluttershy said to Perry. "No need to be sorry. I just had a feeling that you were...about...to...hold on tightly!" he quickly yelled as he jumped upwards, barely avoiding a dark blast of energy that disintegrated the ground where they were standing. He landed down on a roof, staring down at the direction the attack came from. A black robed figure grumbled slightly, but Perry knew that was a chant. Fluttershy watched in terror, only able to hold on tightly. Dark energy started to form in the palm of the figures hand, making its way quickly, once charged, at the two on the roof. Perry jumped away from the attack, but the ball was coming for them and fast, chasing down their every move. He didn't want to know what would happen if they were hit by it and he didn't want to find out. The figure remained where it stood as Perry tried to outmaneuver the ball. It wasn't working, though, and he couldn't risk putting Fluttershy down as she might get chased by it instead. Perry could only run for so long before getting worn out, so he formulated a plan. He quickly turned and started to run at the spell caster with as much speed as he could gather. The hooded figure noticed the change of pace, and just as Perry was about to hit, it rolled out of the way to avoid being trampled, causing the energy ball to dissipate. Perry stopped and turned towards the caster, who got up and dusted itself off. "Impressive, young man. I wouldn't expect any less from the man who killed one of my master's pets," he spoke, his voice definitely sounding human. The caster pulled out a small crystal, which Perry recognized quickly as a recollection crystal, a tool designed to hold a spell. He threw it to the ground in front of Perry and teleported away before the crystal hit and shattered. Perry, still holding onto the shaking Fluttershy, backed away quickly. He could tell by the runes forming on the ground that the spell stored inside the crystal was a teleportation seal, meant to transport large objects from one area to another. Perry continued to back away, not wanting to be near the thing when whatever it was came out. The ground around the crystal started to collapse, as if it was making room for what was approaching. A creature suddenly jolted into existence, its massive size easily three times the height of a house and four times as long. It walked on four large limbs, easily twice the diameter as full grown tree trunks, ending in large flat feet. The body, covered in thick brown fur all over, shadowed several of the buildings in Ponyville. The giants massive head looked around, taking in the scenery with its red glowing eyes. It was undoubtedly the largest living thing Perry has ever laid his eyes on, almost resembling a rhino in regards to the facial structure and giant horn placed on its head. It's gaze shifted towards Perry and Fluttershy, who had fainted from the sight of such a titanic beast. It lifted one of the giant front legs and made an attempted to stomp on Perry. "Shit..."