//------------------------------// // Caution: First Law Re-Enabled. WAR Loader Cannons Offline. Super Badass Loader No Longer Pissed. Confirmed As Good Day. // Story: SMP-5N // by Okhlahoma Beat-Down //------------------------------// DOORS DETECTED. HIGH LEVEL ENERGY SIGNATURES DETECTED. POSSIBLE NUCLEAR WEAPONS. What? Horses can use nukes? Oh, WOW, what the hell have I missed my whole non-A.I life? However, this is also a race of SENTIENT horses, that can use MAGIC, can FLY, TALK, and also apparently BUILD FRICKING CASTLES AND CITIES MADE OF MARBLE. Ignoring these facts, I ensured I had disabled the First Law. Whatever happened, thse horses, no matter how tiny and adorable they were, were armed. If we ran, they'd pick us up with their magic and pull us along. If we fought, they'd use magic, confiscate our guns, then most likely rip our arms off. "...so that's why Equestria is the ideal place to settle." the guard escorting us finished. I cleared my circuitry of the thoughts, and replied. "Yes. Settle." I said firmly, stomping at a rather brisk pace to keep up with the horse's trotting. "This settlement will in no way result in the enslavement and/or brutal slaughtering of your species by the Hyperion corporation." I looked down at the horse. He was still tiny compared to we Loaders: PAY-N3 towered an impressive 20ft over everything. It was a wonder that these horses had doors that fit the fat bastard. "I was beginning to wonder if I had ever seen your race before my infiltration of your portcullis last evening." "Wh-what?" the horse stammered, tripping slightly as he heard. He pushed another door open, which lead to another corridor, that had one very intricately decorated door at the end. I assumed this was where the rulers lived. "W-We've never seen your kind. How can you have seen us before?" "As I said, 'beginning to wonder if'." I replied, not taking my eyes off the horse. My ECHO map was marking my route as I went, so I needn't to have worried about inadvertedly crushing a horse with my foot, or breaking a door down by walking into it. "I never stated that I had seen them: it was merely a theory." "Well...ok?" the guard replied, looking at me with a confused expression. He looked back to the door ahead, and stopped. "Squad halt." I ordered, and the sound of heavy metal feet falling silent signalled that the others had obeyed. "Right. This is the door to the Royal Throne Room. RTR for short. The Princesses reside in here, and have specifically awaited here for your arrival." The small horse now swallowed hard. "And may I ask: be on your best behaviour. Please?" "AFFIRMATIVE." PAY-N3 boomed, echoing down the hall and the sound of glass tinkling somewhere in the castle signalled...well, glass tinkling somewhere in the castle. Our escort, alarmed at the sudden godly voice, grasped the carpet, before finally steadying himself. He cleared his throat, and knocked on the doors. "Enter." The doors were suddenly encased in a glowing auras, gold and blue, and swung open quickly. The sight inside was no less than impressive: the floor, intricately decorated with marble and tiny ebony black flecks, flanked either side of a bright crimson carpet. The carpet stretched down the grand hall, all the way up some steps before finally coming to rest at the feet of two thrones of stark contrast: one black, one gold. Seated on each was a much larger version of the horses we had seen thus far, and both matched their grand seats. "Approach." the white horse called in a warm voice. It was friendly. Probably a deceiving friendly. Nonetheless, all of us Loaders, WAR, JET, GUN, BUL, and Super Badass, and guard, began the approach up the carpet. Whatever tranquility and silence there had been in the room prior to our arrival was smashed by the sound of 8 loud clanking footsteps and 2 hugely explosive stomps echoing down the grand room. As we went, I couldn't help but rotate my upper torso to view the stained glass windows either side. Each window seemed to depict a scene from history, with the majority of them involving 6 horses wearing amulets. One such window showed them defeating a strange lizardy creature. Finally, I turned back again and realised that my timing was insane. The throne was not metres away, and we had arrived perfectly. "Your majesties," the guard said as he bowed, "The creatures, as you desired." "Excellent." The white horse continued, voice having even more of a motherly tone now we were closer. "You may take your leave." "Yes, your highness." The guard bowed again, before turning and cantering out of the room. When the door locked shut behind us, we began what felt like the longest 30 seconds of my Loader life. Both sides, machine and horse, stared each other down, evaluating each other. Finally, I plucked up the courage to speak. "First Law Disabled." I said firmly. Both rulers were taken aback, and it seemed the dark blue one was about to stand up and attack. "Acknowledged." JET replied. "Acknowledged." BUL replied. "Acknowledged." WAR replied. "AFFIRMATIVE." PAY-N3 roared. The room shook violently, and the force of vibrations moved the crowns from the Princesses' heads. Both looked shocked, before recomposing themselves. "Ahem," the white one said, "Greetings. I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria, and raiser of the sun." "I am Princess Luna, co-ruler of Equestria, and raiser of the moon." continued the blue horse said firmly. There was a pause. "Would you...care to introduce yourselves?" asked Celestia. "Acknowledged." I replied. "I am A.I Core: Designate SMP-5N. Currently holding rank of GUN Loader." "Pleasure to make your acquaintance." Celestia smiled. "Affirmative." I said with no emotion. "First Law Enabled." "Introductory settings acknowledged." JET added. "I am A.I Core: Designate WOO-5H. Currently holding rank of JET Loader." "Introductory settings acknowledged." WAR stated. "I am A.I Core: Designate TOR-G3. Currently holding rank of WAR Loader." "Introductory settings acknowledged." BUL resumed. "I am A.I Core: Designate PLO-W1. Currently holding rank of BUL Loader." "Need we replace the windows after your introduction?" Celestia asked PAY-N3. The towering Loader looked down, straight in her eyes, and simply said one thing. "PAY-N3." Celestia seemed taken aback. She looked at her co-ruler, who seemed quite unamused and/or friendly. "What are you, tartarus-spawn?" the blue horse grunted rather bluntly. "We are Loaders. Footsoldiers and workforce of the Hyperion Corporation." I replied. "We have been sent here in order to discuss the terms of Hyperion settlement on your planet and/or country." Celestia looked unamused now. "Settement?" she murmurred. "Like an invasion?" "If it were to come to it, affirmative." "Well, that cannot be allowed." "Acknowledged. Handsome Jack is to be contacted." With that, I activated my ECHO to Handsome Jack, and put it on speaker. "Hey, kiddo." Jack groaned over the radio. "How's it goin'?" "We have reached the Royal Throne Room." I replied. "The Princesses are horses. This conversation is on speaker." "What? They can hear me? Cool. Ok: hello, horses!" "Good afternoon." Celestia replied, sounding quite bemused. "Oh my GOD, the horses can talk!" "We prefer the term 'ponies'." "Wow, WOW. Ok: a 'pony' that can talk? That's pretty frickin' adorable. And your voice is pretty hot, so that's cool." Celestia blushed furiously. "Ahem. You, ah, said you wished to discuss terms of 'settlement'?" "Yeah, yeah. So, um, Kay. Just, ahaha, gonna dumb it down for you. Hyperion ship flies over your country and planet, we make factories, we mine for materials, we use your race as a workforce, we pay you good old fashioned Eridium. Whaddya say, kiddo?" "...Erm, my sister and I are well over a few thousand years old." "Jesus, how frickin' old?! I'm looking at you throughmy bot's eyes, and you look to be, like, 20. For a pony." "Off topic." Luna snorted. "We shall consider your terms. If they displease us, we shall deny access to our planet. If they please us, we shall allow it. In the meantime, your 'Loaders' will be staying with us as a collateral. Three weeks shall be taken to confirm the terms. If you arrive within those three weeks, without our consent, your Loaders will be locked away. Are we clear?" "God DAMN, your voice is hot. Anyway, yeah, that's Kay. So, ciao." -blip- "Handsome Jack approves your terms." I stated. "But are we 5 Loaders to stay here?" "Yes, for a few days. After that, you shall be sent to my faithful student in a smaller settlement named Ponyville. After all, 5 large corporate machines mustn't know about the magic friendship is." Wait a minute. Something's coming back about where I've seen this. Magic friendship is. Friendship magic is. Magic is friendship. Friendship is magic. Friendship is Magic! Of course! I was a brony before...this! Can't remember much of the stuff though...probably gonna pick it up later on.