In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have run around like such a little foal on their birthday, completely ignoring everything around me. I’ve spent the last two years of my life in a state of constant awareness of my surroundings. If it was going to rain, I would know to find a cave, rather than sleep out in the open. If anypony started to laugh behind my back, I would know about it, on be on my guard.
Which begs the question: why did I fail to notice those stairs whilst I was chasing Appletini through the house? And why was I chasing her in the first place? I’m not some little kid, so I shouldn’t be acting like that. Taking part in some silly little game of tag like that… and enjoying it, to boot!
Still, it was… nice… while it lasted. Come to think of it, I used to laugh like that as a child, didn’t I? Back when I had no idea what kind of troubles lay ahead of me… and what kind of evils existed in this world. So, what, being around Appletini makes me feel like I’m a kid again? Should I be happy, or scared for my sanity?
Well, one thing’s certainly different about now than when I was a child: there was never anypony to help me with my ‘boo-boos’ back then. Not that I really mind a few scrapes of bruises all that much. I guess the one plus with living a life on the streets is that it toughens you up. Even if a few tears may have formed in my eyes after my fall – and I’m not saying that they did! – but even if they did, it’s hardly something that would bother me again in the future.
In fact, the only reason they’re hurting right now, is because – ow! – because Appletini won’t stop fussing with them. She insists on cleaning out my cuts, and putting plasters over them – with little smiley sunflower faces, I might add – to avoid risk of infection. Infection? Please! I’ve spent nights sleeping in gutters, in dumpsters, in caves where animals went to… do their business… This body of mine’s practically built up an immunity to silly little things like that. That one fever a few days ago was merely a fluke.
And the only reason I’m allowing her to do this, despite it being completely unnecessary, is because she won’t make breakfast until I let her. I could easily fix up something to eat myself, if I just took a minute to map out her kitchen, but I don’t want to overstep my boundaries and risk being kicked out again. I’ve been lucky to find somepony so great, who would let me stay, even after I bucked up so badly.
“There we are!” she says as she applies the last plaster to my foreleg. Great, now my body looks like a kindergartener’s art project. Some of these plasters have duck faces on them… Huh? Oh. You look at them upside-down, and they’re bunny rabbits… Cute. I guess I can’t really complain, though. Even though it was completely unnecessary, she was clearly worried about me. And she spent her precious time and medical supplies on me, to make sure that I was okay. She really is unlike other ponies…
“Great,” I answer. “But aren’t we going to be late to your job because of this?”
“Nah, it’s fine.” That’s clearly a lie, but again, she’s doing it for my sake. Call me selfish if you will, but after all I’ve been through, there’s no way I’m going to pass up a chance to be spoiled silly by this mare. “We’ll just have to skip breakfast, that’s all.”
… Oh. Well, I guess I should have that coming. Hey, it wouldn’t be the first time I skip an important meal of the day. I’ll just have to do my best not to think about food, that’s all… Wait, is she laughing at me right now? “What’s so funny?”
“You honestly believed me just then, didn’t you?” … So… that was a joke? “Oh my gosh, you’re too much!” Yeah, I think it was a joke. “You think I’m gonna skip breakfast, just to make sure I make it to my job on time? Please! You’re looking at the girl who was known for being late to every one of her classes throughout High School.”
That’s not something to brag about, you know? Though, at least now, I know we have something in common. I wonder what else we have in common? Any hobbies, interests, or fears? Come to think of it, I wonder what her job is? I don’t believe she ever told me.
“Hey, I was wondering…” She stops and looks at me expectantly. “Well, what exactly is your job? If I’m going to be helping you out today, I should probably know.”
“Oh, I didn’t tell you?” Not to my knowledge. “Well, I’m actually a freelance caterer! I travel all over the Crystal Empire to cater events, both big and small! … Or, I’d like to, at least. But so far, only a few districts outside our own have actually recognised me so far.”
So she travels. Yet another thing we have in com- Wait. Did she say… “‘Our’ district?” She nods in response.
“Yeah. Remember? Azure’s smoothed things over for you, so you’re officially a citizen of the 47th District!”
I nod, and even smile a little bit. “Right… So, you’re a caterer then. I would have figured a barmaid or something, from your Cutie Mark.”
“Well, mixing drinks is my specialty, but today, there’ll be none of that. Since our client today is the headmaster of the 47th District Primary School.”
“‘Primary School’?” I’ve never heard of such a type of school.
“Yeah. Y’know, just before High School? For foals aged four to eleven?”
“Oh. I see.” In Equestria, they’re called ‘Elementary Schools’… I think I like the Crystal Empire’s name for it better. Everything about this place is just better than Equestria in every way. “So, what, we’re lunch mares for today?”
“That’s right. It seems there’s some flu going around the school, and a lot of the lunch staff there are off ill. So they asked a professional to come in and help ‘em.”
“Who?”
“Uh… me.” We stare at each other in silence for a bit. “Wait, did you just… make a joke?”
Oh crap, I did. “Uh, yeah… I guess I could’ve made it more obvious, huh?” Appletini suddenly starts laughing. Huh, I guess it was a delayed reaction. Whatever, I got the desired result in the end: Appletini laughing, and me smiling.
Ding-dong!
The doorbell… this early in the morning? Though I guess I shouldn’t make assumptions about the customs here in the Crystal Empire. Still, I can’t say I’m too happy right now. I was having fun, and now I’ve got to hide.
“I’ll just go wait in the living room,” I tell Appletini. Of course, I could just put my hat on, but I don’t really see any point, since I’m sure whoever’s at the door isn’t here for me. And I have no intention of ‘mingling’ with other ponies. At least not until I can be sure that the ponies here can be trusted.
“You sure? You could at least say ‘hi’, y’know?”
“I’d really rather not.” Thankfully, Appletini shrugs, and seems to let it go as she walks towards the door. I duck around the corner, into the living room, and close the door… Darn it, my curiosity is telling me to listen in. But, what if I get caught? And it’s revealed that I’m the fugitive pony from Equestria? Not to mention, Appletini probably wouldn’t like me eavesdropping.
“Oh, Azure!” I hear from the other side of the door… Well, technically, it’s not eavesdropping if I can hear without even trying to listen in. “What’s up? If you’re here to hit on Trixie, I told you to give her some time. She’s still a little shy right now.”
… Shy? Shy? Is that what she thinks of me? I’m not shy, I’m just… cautious, that’s all. There’s a difference!
“I’m not here for that. It’s something serious.”
“Serious? From you?”
“Listen! Word about the fugitive pony from Equestria travelled pretty fast around the Empire, as expected. But, there’s one pony in particular who took an interest in the case, and he’s-”
“Oh, Azure. What a surprise to see you here.” A new voice. I don’t recognize it, but it’s definitely male.
“C-Crimson?! W-What, I can’t visit my friends in my spare time?”
“You only have a fifteen minute break. Surely you didn’t think you could woo over this mare in such a short amount of time?”
“So what if I did? Wait, how do you know my schedule, anyway?”
“Irrelevant. Like you, I am short on time, and my business here is with Miss Appletini. I assume you are her, ma’am?”
“Cut the crap. You already know that I am.”
“… I… beg your pardon?”
“What, you forgot me? I know it’s been a while, but-”
“Aah, I thought you looked familiar. You’re the mare who dated Lilac for a while. My condolences, by the way.”
“What do you want with me?”
“Right, I’ll cut right to the chase. I’ve heard eyewitness reports that link you with a blue Unicorn mare, who collapsed on the street, and was taken in by you to receive treatment. Is this correct?”
“It is not.” Wow, she answered quickly. Was she prepared for something like this? “The mare you’re referring to was a long-time friend of mine, who was putting on a show for the Crystal Fair. She merely used an illusion to look like a Unicorn, but pushed herself a little too far. That is all.”
Wow. She really has been preparing for something like this… Thank you, Appletini.
“Oh, is that so?” … “Well then, I do hope that this friend of yours is alright. I guess I’d better get back to my duties then… I just hope, for your sake, that you aren’t lying to me. After all, we don’t want to upset Equestria, and risk a conflict, now do we?”
I hear hoofsteps gradually moving away from the house. I guess he’s leaving… Which means that I’m safe for now, right?
“I take it Crimson was the one who took a special interest in the case, then?” I hear Appletini ask.
“Yeah. And he won’t give up so easily. He hates Equestrians, but fears their power. He wants them to stay out, but remain happy.”
“And, he’s also got that whole rivalry thing with you. If you’re hiding a fugitive, he’s definitely gonna do his best to reveal you.”
“Incidentally, how is Trixie doing? Or should I call her, Will-o-Wisp?”
“Where did you-”
“I heard that some mare named Will-o-Wisp put on a show yesterday. And there’s nopony else in our district, besides those two foals, whose special talents are magic.”
“I see. Well, we were just about to have breakfast, and then head over to the school for a catering job.”
“Together?”
“She’ll be assisting me today.”
“I see. Looks like you two are getting along just fine. Well, guess it’s too late to turn back now. Just remember, stay vigilant.”
“Don’t worry. If I get caught, I’ll make sure your involvement is kept secret.”
“… Idiot. Just don’t get caught.”
I hear hoofsteps moving away from the house again, followed by the sound of the door closing. I sit silently in the living room for a few seconds, before the door opens to reveal Appletini on the other side.
“Sorry ‘bout that. Just Azure, stoppin’ by ta hit on me, since his work’s been keeping him from doing that lately. He says ‘hi’, by the way.”
It’s clear she doesn’t know I heard everything… and that she’s trying not to make me worry. Even though I’m the cause of this whole mess… and even though it’s her neck on the line, as well as my own… she’s trying to take this whole thing on by herself. Why? Why not make me shoulder some of the burden? Or all of it? Does she think I’m incapable, or is this what ‘friendship’ means?
“So, wanna eat breakfast real quick, before we have another interruption?”
… Well, she’s seems happy, anyway. I don’t want to ruin the mood right now. Maybe I’ll tell her later, but for now, I just want to… to eat whatever is causing that wonderful smell from the kitchen.
I always had mixed feelings about foals. A lot of them were loud, and annoying, and always bothering me whenever I just wanted to relax. But then some were just so cute, I almost wanted to take them on as my magical students.
Some were always demanding more from my shows, and some would just sit quietly and respectfully as they watched… And then, of course, there were the foals that would seek to interrupt my shows with rude comments and outbursts. And of course, defending yourself against hecklers isn’t so easy, when the heckler is a kid.
However, it wasn’t until after the whole ursa minor incident that kids really became a problem. For the most part, if I just showed them something ‘awesome’, they would instantly fall in love with my shows, and would thus drag their parents or guardians along to watch them. After the ursa minor incident, though, children across Equestria took after their parents… and join them in shunning and scorning me whenever I set hoof in their towns.
And, again, I can’t defend myself against foals. Punching bitch mares that graffiti my trailer, or bastard stallions that throw produce at me, is one thing, but I can’t very well raise my hoof against a child, now can I? No, because that stupid, ‘benevolent’ Princess would lock me up and throw me down into the Canterlot dungeons, and then I wouldn’t even have my freedom anymore.
Stupid ponies… Stupid Princesses… Stupid EQUESTRIA! Who needs it?! The Crystal Empire is my home now! This is where I belong now! Where I will stay! Where I will-
“Will-o-Wisp?”
Ah! Oh, crap. I got lost in thought, didn’t I? Let’s see, Appletini just called out to me… Huh? Where’d she go? She was just walking in front of me a second ago…
“Where’re you going?” I turn around to find Appletini standing behind me, stifling a giggle. “You space out or something? Anyway, we’re here.” She motions her hoof over the building to her right. The plaque at the front indicates that this is the ‘Primary School’. And she’s still laughing.
“Stop that,” I say, and I swear I’m not blushing. It’s just a little warm out today, that’s all. “I was just preparing myself for the task ahead. Making sure I was in ‘culinary mode’.”
“Oooh, riiiiight.” The sarcasm is strong with this one. “Well then, you must be really prepared, because you’ve been ignoring me this entire walk over.”
“… No I haven’t.”
“Yes you have.”
“No, I was just being a good listener.”
“And a poor answerer.”
“Look, are we going to go in there and cook some food already?”
“Sure. Just as soon you apologise for ignoring me.”
What? If you wanted me to answer, you should have just spoke louder. Or nudged me or something. I can’t help it if my mind likes to wander off… But, I don’t want to upset her… Maybe I should just apologise and get it over with.
“… Sorry…”
“What was that? Didn’t quite hear ya.”
“Don’t push your luck. I know I spoke loud enough for you to hear me just fine.”
“Maybe I’ve got a hearing problem,” she says, not at all convincingly. “Okay, okay. I’ll accept your apology. Now, you ready to cook some delicious crystal cuisine?”
“I guess.” I can’t help but notice that everything in the Crystal Empire, even the food, contains… well, crystals. I’m not particularly accustomed to making crystal food… Well, I’m sure it can’t be that much different. Just gotta ask for a cook book, take a few minutes to read through it, and I should be good to go.
Since when was the art of preparing and cooking food so dangerous?! I mean, sure, the kitchen is a fire hazard. Sure, you could burn your hoof on the grill. I even hear that the griffons have this dish called ‘fugu fish’, which, if prepared wrong, is poisonous. Why anyone would ever eat food like that, I have no idea. Seems kind of like a northern roulette.
However, I have never heard of a case where preparing a pudding could be an explosion hazard! Or where preparing mashed potatoes could produce an acid strong enough to burn through metal! Thankfully, they use crystal counters, which is able to resist said acid, but my hooves aren’t crystal! And I have no intention of losing either of them, thank you so very much!
“What’s wrong?” Appletini asks, as if I was complaining about a little dirt from walking in a field. “I thought you’ve cooked before.”
“I’ve cooked proper meals! Meals that don’t blow up in your face if you get the temperature one degree wrong! Meals that don’t eat away your hooves if you mix just a little too fast!”
“We have special gloves for that, y’know?” … Actually, I didn’t. Still!
“That’s beside the point! Why is your food so… dangerous?!”
Appletini sighs, and puts down the mixing bowl she was holding onto the counter next to us. I back the hell away from it. “It’s not like we can help it, y’know? Remember, this far north, plants and things just don’t grow. And, even with the barrier protecting the Empire, back when it was first created, we didn’t have trains back then. We couldn’t trade goods with Equestria. Hay, we didn’t even know about Equestria until a good one hundred years before Sombra’s rule.
“We had to use crystal replicas of plants and animals, not just for décor, but for supplies, too. All our feathers, wool, food ingredients, and all that… they come from crystal replicas. And, as a result, they’re a lot more dangerous to handle than what you might be used to. Of course, since we had nothing to compare it to, we never really noticed. It was all we had, so we just focused on minimising the risks of handling such things.”
… Wow. That’s… That’s gotta suck. When you could die, just from trying to prepare a simple meal. Though, I guess the Crystal Ponies, having to deal with this way of life for so long, have managed to make it so that it’s not so dangerous anymore. Even so…
“But, I’m not a Crystal Pony,” I say. I still don’t trust whatever’s in that mixing bowl. “I’ve… never prepared food like this before. To me, the only kind of hazards when I could anything was a fire if I knocked something over.”
Appletini looks at me… is that pity in her eyes? She’s pitying me, for not having to deal with such dangerous methods of cooking before?
“I understand,” she says. “Sorry, I should’ve realised that you wouldn’t be used to preparing crystal food. Well then, how about you go help set out the table placements, if you’re feeling uncomfortable preparing anything in this kitchen?”
“… N-No. I said that I would help you, and I will!” Actually, I just don’t want to be stuck doing something so small and insignificant.
“Actually, it’d be a big help if you did. There are about three hundred places to set, and none of the lunch mares seem particularly keen on doing it.”
I can see why. Three hundred placements to set out? I’m going to go out on a limb, and assume that that’s for the whole school. Well, I guess… it’s safer than preparing mashed acid-potatoes…
“The crystal plates won’t blow up if I set them wrong, will they?” I ask. Appletini laughs, and assures me that they won’t. From her tone, she must have thought I was joking. But I was being deadly serious… Well, whatever. She’s laughing, I’ve got a much safer job now, so I can’t really complain.
Okay, that’s placement number forty eight done… Aaaand, I’m keeping track. Great. Couldn’t they have at least put a radio out here, so I could listen to some… Actually, what kind of music do they have here in the Crystal Empire? I should ask Appletini about that later. Placement number forty nine. I think I’ll take a restroom break at six-
“Hi!”
AH! W-What the? Where did this colt come from all of a sudden? Kid’s lucky I managed to catch the plates with my magic before they-
“Wow, cool! You’re using magic, but there’s no glow!”
Glow? What does he… AH! I forgot to make the glow appear around my hooves! “U-Uh, that’s… Just a trick!” I quickly conjure up some magic, and my hooves begin to glow. “See? I’m an illusionist, after all, and, uh…” He’s not buying it, is he?
“I knew it!” … Or, maybe he is. “I saw your show yesterday, in the market square. You were awesome! I wanted to talk to you after the show, but you walked away before I could, and then my mama caught my skiving, and I got in serious trouble. I tried to use one of your smoke illusions, but it totally failed. I’m such a klutz with my magic when I’m under pressure. Hey, that trick you did with the cards, when you-”
Oh Faust, is he going to keep talking forever? C’mon, kid! I’ve got a job to… Oh, who am I kidding? This job was boring me anyway. Let’s see, he said that he was in the crowd yesterday… I don’t recall seeing any yellow-coated, red-maned colts in the audience… Then again, this shrimp would probably have been hidden behind all of the older ponies there.
Hm? Oh, would you look at that? His Cutie Mark… it’s a shooting star. Astronomy-based Cutie Marks are often signs of one of two things: either a special talent in astronomy (duh), or a special talent in magic.
However, judging by his Cutie Mark… and the way he’s talking so enthusiastically about my show, I’d wager his special talent is indeed magic-based. Maybe somewhere in the field of… ritual magic? Nah, not that. Maybe illusions… Welp, safe to say his life’s not gonna be happy. Not if Cutie Marks truly do decide your destiny.
“Hey, Ms. Will-o-Wisp!” Oh, I’d better continue setting out these placements. “Can I ask you something?”
“What is it, little…”
“Astra!” he answers. “Astral Projection is my full name, but everypony just calls me Astra for short.”
… Not a bad name, I guess. “What is it, Astral? And could you move aside, so I can place these plates down?”
“Oh, sorry!” He quickly scurries out of the way, and I resume the job I was asked to do by Appletini. “I was wondering, if you could make me your magic apprentice!”
The sounds of plates crashing on the ground echo across the room.