“Um, Rarity, if you don’t mind me asking, um… why are we wearing these disguises?”
“Oh, come now, Fluttershy. Haven’t you ever had that inner desire to just… waltz around a nice town like Fillydelphia looking absolutely dapper?”
“Well, I guess so, but—”
“Oh, dear! Is it the hat that’s bothering you? Oh, I’m so sorry, darling! I knew I made the brim too low!”
“Oh, goodness, no, this hat is lovely! You even put my favorite flower on it! It’s just… moustaches? Really?”
“Well… you may not know this, Fluttershy, but in some cultures, a bit of facial hair on a mare is thought to be quite attractive.”
Though I’ll never understand why. I mean, honestly, a beautiful mare with a moustache or even a goatee? So unladylike…
“I just… Oh, I really don’t get it. And why are we walking so fast? We can’t even take in all the sights if we’re just speeding through… can we?”
“Oh, darling, I know how much you like seeing new places and taking in the flora and fauna…”
“Mostly the fauna.”
“But right now, we’re on a very important mission! We simply cannot afford to waste any time sightseeing!”
“I guess… Sigh…”
“Oh, don’t you worry, my precious little papillon! I promise after this whole ordeal is done and over with, we’ll do some real traveling, and go sightseeing for real! How does that sound?”
“Mmm, okay! Still, can’t we at least stop by really quick and say hi to your parents? They’re in town, aren’t they?”
Ohhhh. I was hoping she would forget…
“I’m—so sorry, Fluttershy, but I’m afraid we can’t! They’re probably much too busy right now, and frankly, so are we! Yup, too much to do! Places to go, ponies to see, and lots of shiny gemstones to find!”
Hmm. I feel as though I’ve said that at least a few times before…
“But, Rarity! What could be more important than stopping to see family, even if just for a brief minute?”
“Oh, but Fluttershy… Alright. Listen, there’s something I need to tell you. You see, the reason we can’t see my mother and father is becau—”
“Well, hey there!”
Uh, oh. Please don’t recognize us, please don’t recognize us…
“You two are some awfully strange-looking mares! Why dontcha stop for a minute and have some cocoa?”
“Oh! Good afternoon, Mr. Magnum, sir! It’s us, Fluttershy and Rarity!”
Darn it!
“Oh? That can’t really be my daughter, can it?” OUCH! “Why, color me orange and blue stripes, it is you, Rarity! I didn’t recognize ya with that weird purple comb thing-a-ma-thing over your mouth, eh!”
“Hello, father… How are you?”
“Oh, just peachy! Your friend Twiglight Sprackle or… whatever her name was, said you’d both be in town! Come on in, eh! We were just about to have cocoa and crackers!”
“That… sounds… lovely.”
Sigh…
This can’t end well.
“So why do they call this valley ‘Turnba’, Twilight? It sounds a lot like ‘Tuba’!”
“It must be a sacred name to whatever kind of ponies used to live here. Perhaps it refers to the deity they worshipped, or it’s a word in an ancient tongue that has a particular meaning relevant to this place…”
Mmm, Twilight is really cute when she’s talking, even when she’s talking a little too much. I could probably listen to her talk all day, even though I never understand half of the things she says. Maybe if she was talking about candy and sweets! There’s something I know an awful lot about!
She could probably talk about anything in the world! I bet you could show her a rock and she would talk about it for hours and hours! Actually, rocks are pretty cool. Especially when you bring them to parties and have ponies paint them with you! I never got the whole “pet rocks” thing though. Why would you want a rock as a pet?
“…or I suppose it might just be the name of the pony who chartered it.”
“Well, this sign needs some serious dusting!” After all, everypony would rather look at a clean and easy-to-read sign, right? Good thing my tail is just the right shape! “La-la-la-la… Hey, look! Some extra letters!”
“…Or that.”
“I knew it! This valley was founded by that famous explorer pony TURN BACK!”
“This is… disconcerting.”
“You’re right! This is disconcerting! … Um, what does disconcerting mean?”
“Never mind. Let’s just go.”
“Okie dokie loki!”
Walking through a valley is fun! Especially when it’s all bright and colorful… Although, this one’s not as bright and colorful as most of the other valleys I’ve seen. And that’s probably because all the other valleys I’ve seen didn’t have dead trees anywhere, and there was some grass. But hey, at least it’s windy around here!
“Wheeeeeee! … Aah! What was that!?”
“Calm down, Pinkie! It was just thunder!”
“Ohhh. Sorry.”
I don’t mean to hide behind Twilight whenever I’m scared, honest. I just feel… safer when I do.
“A storm must be picking up. We’d better find some shelter before it starts raining.”
“Ooh! How about that scaaaary-looking house over there?”
Well, it looks scary anyway. Most big mansion houses with lots of curtains flapping and thunder crashing behind them tend to look pretty scary.
Except when the curtains are pink. Then it’s just silly!
“Now that’s strange. What kind of pony would want to live in a dreary place like this?”
“Maybe they’ve got corncakes!”
And so, there we went, hopping our way up to the scary house. Well, I was hopping. Twilight wasn’t. But since I was hopping, it looked to me like she was hopping too! But now, I knock.
“Helloooooooo?”
And just like that, WOOOOW! The door’s opening by itself!
“H-Hello? Is anypony home? We don’t want to trouble you. We were just wondering if we could… stay here, until the storm weathers down?”
“Huh. I guess they’re not home.”
“More than that. Judging by all the dust, I don’t think anypony’s lived here in years!”
“Well then, how are those candles still burning?”
“Good… question. Oh well, guess we’d better look around and find some— AAAGHH!”
“AAAAAAHHHHHH! Did that chandelier just fall from the sky!?”
“The ceiling, actually.”
“Mmmaybe we should get out of here!”
“Oh, relax, Pinkie. I’m sure the chain must have just gone rusty with age, and we came in just as it was finally giving way.”
“Oh… okay.”
Twilight is so good at cheering me up when I’m worried or scared. That’s the thing I love the most about her. One of the things I love the most about her. Well, more like one of the many things I love the most about her. Actually, I love everything the most about her!
This house might be kind of scary, but who knows? Maybe tonight, the prophecies will finally come true!
“This staircase is really creaky, Twilight…”
“Let’s hope this whole house doesn’t fall down on top of us.”
“Yeah. I really don’t want to… AHH! Please don’t hurt me!”
“Pinkie! That’s just a Mane-evil Knight’s plate armor! They like to put those in the hallways of mansions.”
“Ohh! Hee-hee, how silly!”
Why would you just put a bunch of knight’s armor in the hallways for? That’s a weird decoration. Especially when they’re still holding their axes and lances! Who brings a lance to a house party?
“Don’t worry, Pinkie. As long as we stay together, then there’s nothing here to be afraid of!”
“Yup! Just as long as I stay by your side, then I’m okay, right Twilight? … Twilight? TWILIGHT? AAH! Where’d you go!?”
I don’t understand! How did I lose Twilight? We were both going down the hallway, weren’t we? Maybe I’ve just gotta run back and—
AH! The doors just slammed shut on me!
“What’s happening? Twilight? TWILIGHT, WHERE ARE YOU!?”
“Pinkie!”
“Twilight?”
“Pinkie! Is that you?”
“Where are you?”
“Over here!”
“Ha-ha! What are you doing in a wall, silly billy?”
“Pinkie, there was a fork in the hallway.”
“A fork? Why would somepony just leave a fork lying around?”
“No, I mean the hallway split into two. We must have gone down different paths without even realizing it.”
“W-Well how do we get back together again? The door went all closey-wosey on me!”
“We’ll just have to keep going down the hallways and try to find a point where they converge. Maybe between rooms or something.”
“Okay…”
“Just keep your head up high, Pinkie. We’ll get through this, and meet up with each other again. Besides… I think the next gemstone might be somewhere in this house.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I can sense it. So this will be a great opportunity for us to cover all the bases and try to find it!”
“GULP. If you say so…”
“Good luck, Pinkie!”
“Yeah… you too.”
Okay, I can handle this. Yup, totally in control. Nothing spooky here at all—
AAH! What was that!?
Oh, it was just a moth. Pull your wobbly little head together, Pinkamena Diane Pie! You’re totally not afraid of anything! Now, let’s see, what was that song Granny Pie always used to sing again?
“Pinkie, you gotta stand up tall, learn to face your fears… YIKES!” More thunder! “Uh… You'll see that they can't hurt you… Just laugh to make them disappear! Ha! Ha!”
Where’s that creaking coming from!?
“…Ha. So… Giggle at the ghostie… WHOA! Bat! Gu-guffaw at the grossly… AHH! Seriously, who put axes on all these knights’ arms!?”
I can handle this… I can handle this…
“C-c-c-crack up at the… at the… the—”
“HOO HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”
“AT THE CREEPY! AAAHHHHH!”
-CRASH- -SMASH- -BOOOOOOM-
I CAN’T HANDLE THIS!
“Twilight!? TWILIGHT!? Where are you? Help, help, HEEEEEEEEEEEELP!”
“Oh my goodness! Do you need help with that, Pearl?”
“Oh-ho-ho, no! I’m usually pretty good with the blender, it’s just… being a bit of a brat today, is all! But thanks anyway, dearie.”
“You’re welcome.”
“So what have you and Rarity been up to lately, huh? Your friend Twi-lime said you were looking for some sort of… diamond or something?”
“It’s a bit… hard to explain. You see, there are these… well, these sort of gemstones all over Equestria, and it’s really important that we find them—”
“Oooh, I get it! Like a scavenger hunt! That sounds fun! Oh, let me tell you, my sweetheart Magnum used to take me geocaching when we were younger! OOOH, we had such a good time! So, you and Rarity are hoofing it together?”
“Oh yes! Twilight had us split into teams to find all of them, and we got paired together.”
“Y’know, Rarity mentions you all the time in her letters. How lovely you are as a friend, and all that… You two are really close, arentcha?”
“Oh, yes! In fact, we’re more than just friends! We’re—”
“Psst! Fluttershy!”
“Huh? Rarity?”
“Over here!”
“Um… could you just excuse me for a second?”
“Sure thing, dearie!”
“Rarity? Why are we in your parents’ coat closet? Wow, it’s really roomy in here!”
“Fluttershy, listen. There’s something I need to tell you. You see, I… I really didn’t want to come see mother and father while we were out here in Fillydelphia.”
Didn’t… want to see her own mom and dad?
“Why? Is it because you’re still embarrassed to be seen with them?”
“Oh, heavens, no! I love my mother and father. I mean sure, they’re very unorthodox at the best of times, but they mean well, and any other time, I’d gladly take the opportunity to visit them. It’s just… Oh, Fluttershy, my darling!”
Is she… starting to cry?
“I’m afraid I haven’t been entirely truthful with you. And as your marefriend, I really need to be more open with you about my feelings.”
“Open with me about what feelings…? Oh, Rarity, please don’t cry.”
“You see, Fluttershy, I… I… I still haven’t told mother and father that we’re dating.”
“What? You haven’t!?”
“No…”
“But I don’t understand! We’ve been dating for over three months, and you send letters to your parents at least twice a month! Why haven’t you told them about us yet?”
“Because, well, you see, Fluttershy, it’s because—”
“Yes?”
“Because I don’t know how my parents will feel about me liking mares!”
“O-oh! Oh, dear.”
“My mother used to read me those stories about the mare finding her prince when I was a little filly, every single night. How do you think she’ll react when she discovers that I’ve instead found my perfect princess! And my father, he has those… strange, ethical ways. I highly doubt those ways involve anything in the regards of liking ponies of the same gender!”
She called me her… perfect princess…
“Oh, Fluttershy! What am I going to do!?”
“I-I don’t know. … You know, I told my own mom that I thought I liked mares after my first harsh boyfriend in Cloudsdale. It was a letter I wrote to her when I first moved into Ponyville.”
And in that same letter, I also told her which mare I was in love with…
“She’s always been supportive of me since then.”
And she never stops smiling…
“Maybe you should… just be honest with them.”
“Oh, I don’t think I can… I just can’t take that risk. I don’t know what I’d do without the love and support of my parents…”
“I really don’t think they’d—”
“Please, darling! Please, you have to promise me that you won’t tell them!”
“But I—”
“PLEASE! I can’t bear to see their disapproving frowns! You have to help me, Fluttershy! Just do this for me, just this once… Pretty please?”
Oh… what do I do? I can’t lie to her parents; I don’t think I can live with the guilt… But at the same time, I can’t disappoint my beloved Rarity and see her sad. That would make me feel guilty too…
Why is it always up to me to make hard decisions?
“I…”
“…Yes?”
“Okay, I’ll do it.”
“Oh… thank you, Fluttershy! You’re such a darling!”
But I won’t like it one bit…
Geez, what a spoilsport, that Applejack.
Hey, there! It’s your old pal Rainbow Dash, and have I got a tale to tell you this time!
Have you ever had to go deep inside a ROARING VOLCANO!? No? Well, I have! And now I’m here to tell you ALLLLL about it!
Ohhh, yeah! The mighty Red Scale Volcano! The reddest of mountains, and the toughest to scale! But we did it, Applejack and I! ‘Cause we’re the best… especially me!
“Alright, Applejack! We made it to the top!”
“Whoo, ah’m beat. Can’t we stop a minute to rest, RD? Mah legs are killin’ me after all that hard, rough climbing!”
“Come on, AJ! Climbing builds character and physique! Just look at how awesome I am! And I’m not even breaking a sweat!”
ROOOOAAAAARRRRRR!
“Rattlin’ tartar nation! What was that!?”
It was none other than the fearsome volcano, spewing down a treacherous waterfall of lava!
A lava rush!
Right, that thing! I had to stretch out my wings and fly Applejack to safety before the lava reached us!
“Oh, thank you kindly for saving me from that waterfall of lava, Rainbow Dash! Why, you’re the bravest and most heroic pony in all of Equestria!”
“Yeah, I know.”
Yeah. You’d think that being an active farm pony and all, Applejack would be a bit more prepared for this journey. But instead, she was shaking in her boots the whole time! Well… she wasn’t wearing any boots, but you know what I mean.
“Ah don’t know about this, Rainbow. Climbing down a volcano that just erupted, it’s… kinda dangerous!”
“Nothing to worry about! We’ll just find the gemstone, grab it right away, and get out of here before you know it!”
And the, all of a sudden, FIRE DEMONS appeared!
“Look out! Fire demons!”
“Milkshakes! What are we gonna do, Rainbow?”
“I know! Those rocks over there! Buck them at the demons!”
“Oh, yeah! Why didn’t ah thinka that?”
And so, Applejack very awesomely sent those demons packing with her mighty kicks, delivering warm, volcanic rocks to their faces at over fifty miles an hour!
There, see? I talked about you doing awesome stuff too, are you happy now!?
Anyways, those fire demons weren’t the only thing in our path! We fought off lava zombies too… Ooh! And the mighty beasts of AGREDOR! Yeah! What a cool name!
“SQUASH THEM!”
“Whaaa-aahhh! Look out, Applejack! They’re coming at us with their huge claws!”
“You think ah don’t see that, Rainbow Dash?”
We fought them off too, of course.
But then finally, after a long, perilous series of trials, we came to the center of the volcano, and there was a great temple! And out of that temple rose… A FIRE GOD!
“I am the Great Rain-Bo-Izzo-Awesum-Eezoris of the Ancients! As thanks for releasing me from my long slumber, I shall grant you… THREE WISHES!”
Alright, that’s it!
Hey, hey! What are you doing, AJ!? Let me go, I still have more story to tell!
…
Oh, and NO! I STILL HAVEN’T TOLD HER YET!
Told me what now?
Wheeeeeeeeeee!
You know, once you get down to it and just keep running around for a while, this spooky old house isn’t so spooky after all! I mean yeah, there’s still these knights with their axes and lances…
WHOOP! Ooh! Ooh! And all the bats flying through the window! Hi, bats! … More thunder, yay! …WHOA!
Was that a guillotine thingy!? What kind of crazy mansion is this anyway!?
“Whew! Just made it to the end! Looks like ol’ Pinkie Pie can handle things by herself after all!”
“HOO HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”
“AAAHHHHH! … Ohhh, who am I kidding? Every time I feel like I’m finally getting the hang of things, that creepy laugh comes out of nowhere!”
“HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!”
“WHO IS THAT!? SHOW YOURSELF, YOU BIG MEANIE!”
“Pinkie…”
“Huh? What? Who—”
“Pinkie… Over here…”
“GASP! Twilight! Is that you?”
“This way, Pinkie!”
“Twiliiiight! I’ve finally found you! Oh…” And now, for this moment, I must give her the tightest hug that I can possibly muster. “Oh, it’s so good to see you again! I was feeling so lost and afraid, until you showed up again! You’re like the driving force that makes me feel all protected and safe like being inside of a turtle’s shell, I… I love you, Twilight Sparkle!”
“I know, Pinkie.”
“No, I really, REALLY mean it! I love you so much, and I—Hey, why are we sliding? Ooh! Is this the standard ‘moving carpet in a haunted house’ thing?”
“No, I don’t think we’re—AAH! There’s—there’s a ghost on my leg!”
“Oh, no! Don’t worry, Twilight, I’ll save you! Uhh-NNH! Uhh-NNH! Get… off… of… my… Twilight, you big bad… ghostie!”
I don’t get it! Why does my hoof keep going right through him!?
“Pinkie! HELP!”
“I’m trying! I’m—WHOOOOAA! That’s a lot of ghosties to giggle at!”
There must be a whole circle of them! Are they throwing a ghost party or something? Hmmph! Well, I don’t think Twilight’s invited to your stupid party, ghosts!
“Oh, no! Oh, no! Help, Pinkie! THEY’RE EATING ME!”
“Hold on to me, Twilight! Don’t let go! Just keep HOLDING ON!”
“I… I can’t!”
“TWILIGHT!”
“Good bye, Pinkie…”
“NO!”
I TOLD HER NOT TO LET GO!
What are they doing!? Why are they all crowing around her? What kind of surprise party is this? No! What are they—
“Nooooooooo……!”
Oh, no! OH, NO! OH MY GOODNESS! NO, THEY CAN’T BE! PLEASE! PLEASE, STOP IT! THEY’RE… THEY’RE… AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
“BUUUUUUUUUUURP.”
“TWIIIIIIIILIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!”