//------------------------------// // Quest I - A Struggle in Canterlot // Story: The Trotzamore Stratagem // by The Rarispy //------------------------------// I hate this. I really hate this. This is the worst thing ever, I hate this so much! Twitchy-twitchy-twitch!   “But enough about me. What about you, Miss Sparkle? What sort of things turn you on?”   “Well, I wouldn’t say they… “turn me on”, whatever that means, but I really, REALLY love books! They’re… probably my favorite thing to read. Heh-heh!”   “Turn her on”? How dare he! Twilight is not a light switch, you jerk! And even if she was, nopony should be allowed to switch her on or off except me! I NEED MY LIGHTS!   “You know, you are really sweet.”   “You-you think so?”   “Oh, definitely. In fact, I think you’re just about one of the sweetest ponies I’ve ever met.”   “Ohh, stop it!”   Now you think she’s candy? You’re a really weird pony, mister!   And I don’t like you, either!   “In fact, I want to make this really special. Here…”   -GASP-   “Is that…?”   “Yup. It’s a limited edition pyrite stone, and this ring is real gold, too.”   Ha! Yeah, right! I bet that’s just fake gold paint, buster!   I don’t think I can watch this for much longer… Poor Twilight’s going to have her heart broken… And inside a deli no less!   “Ooh! Ooh! Hey, you! Mr. Firepony! Can I ask you something really, really, really quick? Please, please! Oh, please!”   “Uhh—What is it, kid? I’m very busy!”   “What would you do if you found out that a very beautiful and pretty maiden was in grave danger, being held somewhere against her will, with a mean pony doing really awful things to her, torturing her until I—I mean, she just couldn’t take it anymore, and… you know, other being-in-danger stuff?”   “Well, being a firepony, I suppose it would be my duty and break in and rescue her. I’d probably have to bring an axe with me.”   “Hmm, an axe you say? OOOH! Mind if I take a look inside that swanky fire truck of yours…?”   Please don’t talk to me… Please don’t talk to me… Please don’t talk to me…   I hate being nervous. I know I’ve probably said that before, but it’s always true. Sometimes when I’m out somewhere in an unfamiliar place with a lot of unfamiliar ponies… It makes me want to go back home and cuddle up with my animal friends in the safety of my bed.   And this coffeehouse seemed… unusually dark.   Oh, but I can’t just be meek and not talk to anypony. I have a mission to do. Equestria is depending on me… I must do this.   …   Gulp.   “Um, excuse me, sir, have you seen a—Oh. Ooh! Pardon me, ma’am! I’m looking for a gemstone that—Oh, excuse me! Umm… Anyone… I’m looking for a-a… Ohhhh.”   And once again… I can’t get a word in edgewise. Why did Celestia pick me for this task? I’m obviously not going to be much of a help to anypony, especially not my beloved Rarity.   I usually hate coffee, but I decided that maybe just this once, I should try to soak away my troubles.   “I’ll have a small mocha, super, super decaf, please,” I said to the cashier, looking down at the counter in shame. I saw a small tear drip onto it.   “Is something the matter, amoureux?”   “No, it’s nothing, it’s just… I’ve come here looking for something, and… I haven’t had the best of luck. I don’t think I’ll ever find it.”   “Oh, don’t fret. I’ve lost something too that I’m still looking for, and well, let’s just say your odds are much higher than mine.”   “Oh, I wouldn’t say that. You’re—” I finally turned up to look at her, and when I did, I recognized her immediately, tacky coffeehouse uniform and all. “You’re Fleur-de-Lis!”   “Hm? Pardòn? I’m terribly sorry, but have we met somewhere before?”   “Why, yes. Well I mean, we never talked much, but, my marefrie—I mean, friend Rarity introduced me to you and Fancy Pants at that garden party.”   “Oh, bien sûr! I remember now!” Her face beamed up, and for the first time, I saw her smile. “One of Rarity’s friends, that’s right. And not just that, you were the more gentle one, with the birds. The one that… didn’t get mud on my coat.”   “Yes, that was… me.” I felt myself flush, until I suddenly realized something. “But wait a minute! What are you doing here? Forgive me if I’m mistaken, but… fancy elite ponies from Canterlot aren’t usually working behind the corner in a coffee ship, right?”   As I said that, she made a long, drawn out sigh, and that smile disappeared.   Perhaps I shouldn’t have said that…   “This is true. You would never find a high-class pony in a place like this.” She took off her visor and was starting to cry. I didn’t think I could bare it. “But unfortunately, I am not such a high-class pony anywhere. Not after… after I lost my beloved Fancy Pants.”   “Y-you and Fancy Pants broke up?” I couldn’t believe my ears. Not again… “But I don’t understand! What happened? You too were so happy when I saw you at the party!”   Then again, Lyra and Bon Bon seemed really happy when I saw them before their breakup too. Maybe… maybe I’m just not really good at seeing the signs. I’m such a shy pony, I guess that would make sense…   “Indeed, we were happy.” Oh, thank goodness… I mean not, thank goodness. I don’t know… “Everything was great, up until our first argument.”   “What were you arguing about?”   “Such a trivial thing… I wanted to go shopping, but Fancy kept insisting we didn’t have the money. I wouldn’t listen. I was such a fool.”   “No, you weren’t.”   “Thank you for the sympathy, but I’m afraid I was. And I was such a fool that I let it escalate. The arguments continued, kept growing, our love turned into resent… Finally, one night, he took me to an opera show. An opera show that turned out to be a filthy, formulaic spectacle showcasing a mare’s submission and dependence on the ‘handsome stallion’. I was so boiled up already, that I snapped. When we arrived back home, I packed all my bags and shouted such… terrible, spiteful words at him. And then I left. And I have regretted it ever since.”   I was starting to cry. So many break-ups, and this one didn’t seem like an easy one to fix. I don’t know Fancy and Fleur very well, and when it was Lyra and Bon Bon… it was Lyra who was upset, the one who got broken up with.   “Wow… I’m so sorry. I had no idea. Is there anything I can do to help?”   “I don’t think so, darling… what is your name?”   “Fluttershy.”   “Darling Fluttershy. I have broken his heart too deep. He will never accept me now. And I hear rumors abound that he has already found another. I have lost everything in weeping for him. My home, my wealth, my reputation… All down the brewer. Pas plus.”   “It might not be the end!” I was so desperate to make this right. “You should talk to him! Try to win his heart back! Even if he won’t take you back, he could at least help you get back on the road again, back to a successful life!”   “I just cannot bear it. I cannot look upon his face, after having hurt it so badly. Not physically, but still hurting.”   “Fleur, please,” I begged. “Don’t make the same mistake I did! I never talked to the mare that I really liked, and because of that, it was painful when I finally did tell her and she didn’t like me back at first! I was miserable, upset… But she came back to talk to me, and soon enough, everything was better. Please, Fleur. Just talk to him.”   She drooped her head down to the floor, and closed her eyes. I could tell what it was: defeat. So I backed away and got ready to leave, and now I was feeling sad too...   “I’m sorry…”   “You’re right.”   What?   I turned back around. She was looking at me with tears in her eyes, but a smile on her face.   “You’re absolutely right, Fluttershy. I must talk to him. Nothing will be better as long as I hide here.” With a look of confidence on her face, she threw away her apron and charged out of the counter. “Please, come with me! I may need your help!”   “Y-yes, of course.”   I followed her out, and we both trotted down the street.   “Fluttershy?”   “Yes.”   “Merci.”   Um, pardon me. Ah don’t want to take up too much of your time, ah was just wondering… what exactly was Rainbow tellin’ y’all about how we found the first gemstone?   Uh-huh… rrrright…   Wait, she said what? Hungry crocodiles? Oh, that stinkin’ li—What? Giant spiders? Poisonous plants!? Why, ah don’t believe that Rainbow…   Wait, what else?   GIANT MUTANT CRABS!?   Oh, horse apples. Alright, listen up, ‘cause I’m just gonna set the record straight here.   There wasn’t any real danger in the Everfree Forest. Ah mean sure, there’s the occasional timberwolf or cockatrice, but they usually only come out at night. I tried to explain this to Rainbow, but she just kept on shaking like a rattlesnake’s tail.   “This place gives me the creeps, AJ. Can we please just find that stupid gemstone and get out of here before we’re eaten alive or something?”   “Aw, come on now, Rainbow. There’s nuttin’ here in this silly ol’ forest that someponies like us can’t handle! We just gotta be brave and watch each other’s backs! Ya get me?”   Of course we ran into a few snags along the way, like those alligators in the swamp.   “Watch out, Applejack! Those crocodiles could eat us right up!”   “For the last time Rainbow, those are alligators. And they ain’t gonna bite as long as ya stay away from their teeth.”   I ain’t afraid of ‘em, but poor Rainbow made such a hassle that one of them came up and tried to make off with her leg!   “Come on, you stupid crocodile! Let go! I said LET GO!” As if punching it in the snout woulda worked… “YIKES! Applejack help, I’m stuck!”   “Hold on, Rainbow! Errrrrrrr… urrrrrr… There! Now, come on, let’s roll!”   “Whew… Thanks, AJ.”   “No problem.”   Ya think she would’ve shown her gratitude by being more honest about it after I spent almost an hour nursin’ her leg and all…   And what did she mean by big spiders? What, the little ones scurrying around in the trees?   “Man, spiders freak me out so bad.”   “They’re not so bad. All ya gotta do is squish ‘em if they’re buggin’ ya—”   “AAH! I’ve been caught in one of their webs!”   “Well, if maybe if y’all watched where yer goin’, you wouldn’t be runnin’ into those things!”   Psychotic ponies… Oh! The local tribe of ponies that lives in the forest! Well, perhaps they wouldn’t have gotten so antsy if that muscle-brain pegasus hadn’t thrown a ROCK at them!   “AI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI!”   “AH! Watch out for their spears, Applejack!”   “Y’all really know how to attract a crowd, Rainbow Dash!”   “Hey, you could see just as well as I could that they were about to capture us and roast us over their fire!”   “All ah saw was you losing your cool and making impulsive decisions… as usual.”   Also, the crystal was just sitting on top of a pointed stone at the edge of a cliff… and those plants were just purple.   BY THE WAY RAINBOW, THE WORD IS ‘PERSEVERE’, NOT ‘PERSPIRE’!   WHATEVER!   Ah’m so sorry about all that confusion. Ah’m gonna march right over and tell Miss Bragger Pants over there to start tellin’ y’all the truth a bit more, instead of making up lies about how cool and awesome she is!   Oh, um…   Was there… anything else that she mentioned? Because, maybe it’s just me, but it seems like that pony’s got a secret or two she’s keepin’ to herself.   No? Really?   …   Are y’all sure?   “Oh, dear.”   “What is it?”   “Just look.”   I gasped when I saw what she was pointing to. It was true. Fleur’s former lover, Fancy Pants, was with another mare... but not just any other mare.   That’s… Rachelle Ruby! The pony that was on the cover with Button Down, the stallion who upset Rarity! And speaking of Rarity, there she is!   It was hard to see from that far away, but Rarity was saying something to Rachelle. I couldn’t tell what, but it looked like she was angry.   “So it is true. My Fancy… he has found another. I knew this was a bad idea. I should just go.” She was starting to leave. I had to grab her in order to stop her.   “No, wait! I’m… I’m going to go talk to them. You just wait there.”   “Are you sure?”   “Oh, yes. Rarity’s over there, and she’s my friend.” Well, more than a friend… “And besides, I happen to know that that mare isn’t a very nice pony, and probably doesn’t love him for who he really is.”   “Okay, Fluttershy. I trust you. Soyez prudent.”   I smiled at her and hurried on over. As I did, I was finally able to make out what Rarity was saying… and it wasn’t very nice things.   “Won’t you just listen to me, Fancy Pants? I’m telling you, that this ‘precious’ pony you’re dating is nothing more than an absolute SLUT! A disgrace to all decent mares, never one to love, only one to take and to seek pleasure from!”   “Now, Rarity, I will not take this slander any further! Just look at what you’ve done to her!” Fancy Pants was huffing, and with good reason it looked like. Rachelle Ruby seemed to be crying… at least, until I saw her make a wicked smile while Fancy wasn’t looking. “I should’ve expected more from you, one of my trusted friends! And instead you give me these lies and try to humiliate us? Apologize to my beloved companion at once!”   “I will not take back a single word of it, for it is all the truth! Undoubtedly, she is just playing you up for your money and maybe even something more from you, aren’t you Rachelle!? AHA, FLUTTERSHY!” Oh, dear… “There you are, darling! You’ve seen the covers, you know about Rachelle Ruby’s true nature! Explain to Fancy Pants here that I am not a profound fibber!”   “Oh, um… Well, I really don’t think I should—”   “FLUTTERSHY!”   “Well, um, yes, I mean… She is—But maybe she’s… Oh, oh dear…”   “Both of you stop this at once!” Fancy Pants’ loud voice startled me so much that the next thing I knew, I was shaking on the ground with my hooves over my head. “I don’t know what your game is, but if you two don’t leave us alone right now, I’m going to end up doing something I’ll regret!” “OH, JUST LET THEM BE, MY DEAR!” shouted Rachelle. The black eyeliner was streaming down her face, though it looked like it’d been needlessly smudged down it. “They’re clearly such vile, hateful girls, and they don’t appreciate our love! AND WHAT DID YOU EVEN COME HERE FOR ANYWAY, YOU RUDE YELLOW PERSNIKKITY!?”   Rarity was comforting me at this point. I could see her gritting her teeth, charging up for something fierce. I knew I had to stop her, and so I laid my hoof on her back.   “Rarity. Please. Don’t.” Rarity stared at me for a few seconds, and finally closed her eyes and backed away. “I came here because I wanted to make things right. I met somepony today who’s very sad, and wants nothing more than to apologize for what she’s done. And, well…”   I knew what I had to do. This wasn’t my battle.   “Fleur! You can come out now!”   “Fleur?” Fancy repeated, sounding shocked.   She stepped out into the open very slowly. Her hair did look a little messy from removing her work clothes, and probably all the running we did too. And there were tears running down her face.   “Bonjour, Fancy Pants.”   “I don’t believe it… it’s you.”   Rachelle was jerking her head back and forth between the two of them.   “Wha—I don’t—Huh? Who is she!?”   “I have returned… my love.”   They started moving towards each other. I looked at Rarity, and both of her hooves were over her mouth, as she stared at them with wide, mystified eyes. Rachelle on the other hoof, looked extremely angry, with her jaw hanging out.   “I say, what are you doing here?”   “I—I—“”   “Yes?”   Her lip was quivering very hard. I almost thought I was going to have to step in and say something again, which I hate doing. But suddenly, she embraced him in a tight hug and started crying on his shoulder.   “I AM SO SORRY, FANCY PANTS! For everything! The arguing! The fights! The opera house! My rudeness! I wish I could take it all back! Being away from you for this long has made me finally realize, you are good to me, and always have been the best for me! I had no reason to be truly angry! You are everything I could ever want, and I need you in my life. S'il vous plaît, Fancy. Please forgive me.”   Fancy Pants pulled the hug apart and put a hoof on her shoulder.   “Fleur, the truth is, I, well, to put it simply…”   Here it comes…   “I understand,” she sadly muttered.   “There’s never been anypony else but you.”   “W-What?”   We both gasped. Rarity’s gasp sounded very ecstatic.   “WHAT!?” Rachelle shouted.   “Do you really mean that?”   “Every word. I’ve tried to make myself think I moved on from you, but to be very frank and honest… Fleur-de-Lis, after three months, you’re still the thing that I care about the most. Of course I forgive you. Won’t you take back this old fool?”   “Oh, Fancy!”   “Oh, Fleur!”   Rarity handed me an embroidered handkerchief, as we both sat by each other, crying tears of joy at the sight. The two of them embraced in such a passionate and beautiful-looking hug, smiling widely for the first time I’d seen them that day. They were crying too.   However, Rachelle Ruby came over and forcefully split them up. She started yelling in Fancy’s face, very mean-like.   “You can’t be serious Fancy, can you? Look at this drab of a pony! She looks like she just crawled out of a garbage dump! What about me? What about us? I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING!”   “I apologize very deeply, Rachelle,” he said to her in a sad voice. “These past couple of months with you have indeed been great. You made me happy, but let’s face it… it was never going to work out. Like I said, as much as I loved being with you… in the end, I think I’ve always been holding my heart out… for my dear Fleur. I’m so sorry.”   The two of them stared at each other for a minute. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen next. I just hoped there wasn’t going to be more yelling… or worse.   “Okay,” she finally said. “You’re right, it probably wouldn’t have. Oh, well. Best of luck to you two. Thank you for the past couple of months, I’ll be leaving now.”   And then she just… walked away, very calmly. She threw the ruby she was carrying onto the ground, but even that was just a soft toss. Rarity looked like she was just as confused as I was.   “That was… odd,” said Fancy. He smiled at Fleur, before coming over to us. “I’d like to thank you, the both of you. You brought us back together, and for that, I owe you a great deal.”   “Oh, Fancy Pants, it was nothing at all,” Rarity replied to him. “I saw a friend, who seemed very sad, and it looked he was in a situation that was going to end very badly, and I knew I had to step in and make things right. That’s just what friends do for each other.”   “Yeah…” I added.   “You know what? Here.” He picked up the ruby that Rachelle had dropped and held it out to us. “I think you both deserve this more than anypony else. Please, take it.”   “Ohhhh,” said Rarity. “You really mean it?”   Of course. She always loves her gems, doesn’t she?   “Thank you so much, Fancy. This means much more to us then you probably realize.”   “It does?”   “Absolutely.” She leaned in close to me and held the ruby close to my eyes. “Look, Fluttershy,” she whispered.   I stared at the ruby, wondering what was so special about it. Then suddenly, it started to glow, like, it was glowing even redder than it usually would, and it was sending off weird red rays of light! Then, it clicked, and I finally realized what it was. I think I heard myself gasp… not too loudly, I hope.   “Thank you again,” said Rarity.   “It is us who should be thanking you so much,” said Fleur. “Especially you, Fluttershy. I know I have said this already, but thank you. Thank you so much.”   “Oh, don’t mention it,” I said back. “I just wanted to see you happy again.” Now that I think about it, that makes me sort of like Pinkie Pie in a way, doesn’t it? Probably not as excited and energetic, though… And loud…   “Would you like to stay with us for a while longer? Perhaps we could take you out to dinner, if it’s alright with you, Fancy, my dear? It would be our treat.”   “Oh. That would be most delightful, but I’m afraid it’ll have to be another time. We really need to be going now. Something kind of important, actually. Right, darling?”   “Right.”   “I see,” said Fancy. “Well still, feel free to visit us any time. You’re always welcome here in Canterlot.”   “Thank you,” said Rarity. “Ta-ta for now!”   We began to walk away, but before we did…   “Oh, and Rarity!” Fancy called.   “Yes?”   Fleur gave us a really big smile. “Take good care of her,” she said. “She’s very pretty, and very special.” Fancy shot us a wink.    “Thank you.” She leaned in close to me and whispered, “How did she know?” I couldn’t help but giggle to myself.   I saw Fancy and Fleur smile immensely at each other, and put their hoofs over each other’s shoulders as they both walked off, looking very happy. It made me feel very warm in my heart. Helping other ponies feels so good.   Soon after that, another couple passed us by as we were walking. There was a very beautiful little baby in their carriage… A very beautiful baby…   “Perhaps this will be easier than we thought,” Rarity said to me. I don’t think she noticed the couple…   “Hmm?”   “The Gemstones of Passion. We might find them even quicker than I thought we would. Maybe we’ll end up having this whole thing wrapped up by the end of the week. That would be swell, wouldn’t it?”   “Mm-hm.”   Rarity nuzzled against me as we kept walking. I smiled back at her.   Rachelle Ruby watched the two of them leave from in the shadows.   “Foolish little mare. You and your petty little friends have absolutely no idea of the danger that's really coming….”   She kept her eyes on them as she left from her seclusion. Her lips were almost forming into a soft smile…   “Oh, come on! I love a mare who’s got some dirty secrets! Go on and tell me!”   Well… perhaps it’d be better if I showed you. You see—”   -SMASH- -CRASH-   “HEEEEEEEERE’S PINKIE!”   “What the—!?”   “PINKIE! WHAT IN EQUESTRIA ARE YOU DOING!?”   “Saving your flank Twilight, that’s what I’m doing! You! You’d better back away from her right now, before I do something that I’m really going to regret! Besides… I know what you did last summer.”   “W-where did you get those!?”   “The game is up, Button Down, if that is your real name! What kind of honest, goody two-shoes stallion would let themselves be photographed with a slut on a gossip magazine WITHOUT THE LIGHTING CANDLES FIRST!?”   “Button… is this true? You lied to me?”   “What? No, no! It’s—It’s not like that! You don’t understand, Twilight! You see, I had to… I was supposed to… That ring was part of my… You know what? It’s your friend here! She’s crazy!”   “Crazy, am I? If I was crazy, could I do… THIS!?”   “H-how did you even do that with your head!? I—”   “Button?”   “Yes?”   “Look, thank you for giving us the tour and everything, and taking me out to this deli. I had a lovely time, but… I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”   “But I—I—”   “You heard her, bub! She said GET OUT!”   “Oh… okay, then. Whatever. … Can I at least have the ring back?”   “No.”   “Fine.”   “Wow, he sure left in a hurry.”   “He was probably too embarrassed about what just happened. Hey, Pinkie? Listen, thanks for the help back there, but I— AAGGH! Too tight, too tight!”   “No problem, Twilight! I just knew from the twitch in my right eye that there was a dangerous pony nearby, and I just couldn’t let any nasty stallion harm my precious Twily-Wily!”   “Pinkie…”   “Yes, Twilight?”   “What I was trying to say was, as grateful as I am that you helped me back there… you didn’t need to.”   “Huh? What do you mean?”   “I was just pretending the whole time! It was all an act!”   “It was?”   “You see, I knew that this pyrite ring he gave me was the Gemstone of Passion we were looking for all along!”   “It is?”   “Yup! I was just simply trying to lure him in in the hopes that he would give it to me. Not my most well thought-out plan, but… at least it actually worked. That’s one to write down in the books. And besides, you know I don’t feel that way about stallions anyway.”   “You don’t? Oh, that’s right! You don’t! Oh, Twilight! You’re such a smart little cupcake! I could just eat you all up!”   “Gee… Thanks, Pinkie… Please let go off of me.”   Isn’t she just the smartest thing ever, though? I just want to cuddle up with her, and hug her a lot, and… and be with her forever. Because she’s my little Twilight.   “And you know what else?”   “What?”   “This isn’t even real gold. After all, that’s what pyrite is. It’s fool’s gold!”   “Ohhhhhhhh! … I don’t get it.”   “One job. You had ONE JOB.”   “I know, boss! I said I’m sorry!”   “Sorry, sorry, sorry! Do you even realize what you’ve just done? Not only did you fail to do what I asked you to, but that pyrite ring that we set our deal on? I thought I made it quite clear that you weren’t to let them have it under ANY circumstances! Now they’re one step closer to their goal!”   “Well, you weren’t clear enough on that part! Look, does it even matter that much? It’s just a stupid old stone! There’s whole mines of that stuff laying around!”   “Look kid, don’t even talk to me right now! We’re done here, do you understand?”   “Well, sure, but, I mean, without my help, how are you ever going to do… whatever it is you’re trying to do?”   Discord turned away from him and growled.   “I’ll have to turn to more drastic measures…”