“According to this brochure I got from the train station, the city of Trotlanta is most famous for being the exclusive carrier of the Equestria-famous Trot Tulip and Razzle-Fraggle Berry Sandwich Deluxe, a noted delicacy throughout the land. They say that you just can’t resist the wonderfully ripe and fruity flavors of a Razzle-Fraggle made sandwich, and when complimented with the rich texture of a rare Trot Tulip, ponies come from miles to—Okay, surely there’s got to be something else interesting in this town besides just a sandwich. Hang on, maybe there’s something in my books that can help us.”
Sigh… Isn’t Twilight just so adorable when she’s caught up in her books? A little bit dorky maybe, I mean, I certainly can’t imagine just sitting in a library reading books all day long, I’d get totally bored! But then again, that’s just what makes her so… so… Twilight!
“Equestria-famous nuh-nuh-nuh sandwich… The biggest tourist attraction is the National Center of Sandwich Foods and Commerce… The City of Sandwiches—You’ve got to be kidding me! Don’t the ponies in this city think of ANYTHING else besides their precious Trot Tulip and whatever-berry sandwiches!?”
“OOH! Did you see Razzle-Fraggle!?”
“Wait, wh—”
“Oh, boy! I just love Razzle-Fraggle Berries! They’re so sweet, yet so sour, yet so fruity, yet so nutty, yet so… OHHHH! IT’S LIKE A WHOLE SPECTRUM OF AWESOME FLAVORS AND JUICES IN YOUR MOUTH! Come on, Twilight! Let’s go get sandwiches right now, you and me!”
Sandwiches! Why didn’t I think of this earlier? This is SURE to help Twilight see, and then the prophecies will finally be realized!
“Pinkie, I—Could you stop hopping around me for a second?”
“Sure!”
“Thanks. Anyway, as hungry as I feel right now, we really can’t afford to waste any time. Remember, we’re here looking for one of the Gemstones of Passion! It could be anywhere in this city! Then again, with how crazy this town is about their sandwiches, I’m almost expecting to find one topping a sandwich off on a toothpick.”
“GAAASP! You’re right, Twilight! We’ve got to search every Trot Tulip and Razzle-Fraggle-Dazzle-Dingle-Dangle Berry Sandwich in the city! Come on, we’ll start with this deli!”
“Pinkie, WAIT! That’s not what I—UGGGGH!”
The secrets of Equestria! Shiny rocks! Magical flower fields! The true meaning of life! Who knew that the key to finding the truth was on top of a sandwich! FUUUUUN!
“You there! We need all the sandwiches you have, pronto! And they’d all better be topped with the finest things you can top ‘em with! This is important!”
“W-What!? I can’t just hand over my entire inventory of sandwiches! Look at all these paying customers you just cut in line! And do you even have the bits to pay—”
“THERE’S NO TIME TO ARGUE! The entire fate of Equestria depends on you right now, soldier! Now are you going to give me all your sandwiches, or are you just going to stand there and watch as the whole land falls into DARKNESS AND CHAOS!?”
“I—Uhh—”
“There. That purple pony over there. See her?”
“Whoo. Yeah, I see her alright. Tch. Look at all those books she’s paging through. What use does a mare like her have for those ridiculous things, anyway?”
“Hey, search me! A proper egghead, if I’ve ever seen one! But don’t forget, your goal is to look absolutely appealing to her. Make her think you want her, and let her want you in return! Can you manage that?”
“Are you kidding? I could make myself the most look irresistible in my sleep! I know how these types work. All it takes is some sexy looks, and they’ll be all over. Tops to drop!”
“Good. And one other thing?”
“Yes, big boss?”
“That pink pony coming up now?”
“Yeah?”
“Make sure to keep them separated from each other as much as you can.”
“Got it.”
“Olive… Olive… Olive… Come on, Twilight! Help me out here! We still have one hundred and two more sandwiches to search! And also, we should finish this up and get out of here before those cops show up.”
“Pinkie, for the last time! It’s not on one of those sandwiches! Now please, put them back where you found them while I try to figure out what we’re really going to do!”
Still searching through her books… Twilight, just stop already, you’re going to make me so super-excited that I’m going to fall right into these sandwiches! Boy, wouldn’t that be messy! But Twilight is just so cute and organized! Of course she brought four books on Trotlanta with her! Wait a minute. What’s this? This book is not like the other books. I don’t see the word ‘Trotlanta’ anywhere on it. In fact, I don’t see any words on it!
“Hey, Twilight… what’s this book?”
“Huh, what book—”
“Excuse me!”
What.
“Oh! I’m so sorry. It’s just that I was walking along here, when I couldn’t help but notice you two lovely mares sitting around looking all dishelved.”
“You mean ‘disheveled’.”
“Right, sorry.”
So smart… So pretty…
I don’t like the look of this guy, though. He’s getting a little too close to Twilight… I know I’ve seen him somewhere before.
Mmm… why won’t my eye stop twitching? Mmmm! WAIT! A twitch in the right eye? But that usually means… Uh-oh.
“I take it you two are from out of town? And looking for something specific, by the looks of it.”
“Tee-hee! You got me! Um… my name Twilight Sparkle, and this is my friend Pinkie Pie.”
“But that’s Ms. Pie to you, bub.”
“Pinkie, what’s with your—Oh!”
Grrrrr…
“Well, I’d be happy to help you find what you’re looking for. In fact, why don’t you accompany me around the town? I could give you a whole grand tour.”
I’ll show you a grand tour, you two-timing…
Hey—HEY! GET YOUR HOOF OFF OF HER!
“Well, gee uh, I-I really don’t think I could. You see, I, uh—Uh—Ummmm…”
Yeah, that’s right, Twilight. You tell him what’s up. You can tell right from looking into his saddlebag what kind of a pony he is, because you’re such a smarty pants! Am I right?
“Actually, you know what? I think I’d love a tour of Trotlanta.”
Wait, w-what?
“Great. Come on, I’ll show you around. Right over here is my favorite museum.”
“Come on, Pinkie!”
“But I—I—Hey, Twilight! Wait for me!”
I don’t like this…
“By the way, what’s your name?”
“Hmm? Oh my goodness, you’re right! I’m so sorry, where are my manners? My name’s Button Down. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Twilight Sparkle.”
“Well Fluttershy, we’re here.”
“Do you think we should ask Princess Celestia if she knows where the Gemstone in Canterlot is?”
“Hmm… I don’t know. If she knew there was a gemstone here at all, then surely she would’ve told us so.”
“Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
“Still, I suppose it couldn’t hurt. But let’s see if we can’t find it by browsing the town first.”
As Fluttershy and I got off the platform and out of the train station, I stopped to take a deep whisk of the air. I have to admit, it was rather relaxing to taste the sweet air of Equestria’s glamorous capital city once more, even if I had just been there the other day.
There’s just a great feeling I always have when I have the opportunity to step into Canterlot again. The high class society! The glamour! Ohh, it’s like heaven in Equestria!
Oh,get your mind on straight, Rarity! You have an important task ahead of you!
“Right, Fluttershy! Now let’s go and… find… this… … gem.”
Gulp.
“Oh my goodness. We must’ve set hoof on Canterlot during one of its busy hours.”
“Look at all of these ponies. Any one of them could be holding the gem! How are we ever going to fish it out?”
“M-Maybe we could use that spell of ours to—”
“Fluttershy, oh you’re a genius! Come here you, oh you’re such a genius, darling!”
“Thank you… so much… Rarity… but could you please… stop squeezing… my cheeks? I can’t… breathe!”
“Oh. So sorry. Now, stand back!”
Taking a deep breath and positioning myself, with great gusto I was able to channel the spell. Though, I wish I had been more prepared for it to suddenly start dragging me through the air. Fluttershy was clutching to my hooves for dear life.
“Whoooaaaoaaaooaaaaoaaaa!”
I didn’t dare look at all the ponies we were passing by. We must’ve looked so bizarre and uncouth to them. Bur eventually, we finally stopped… at a puzzling fork in the road.
“Well, now which way?”
“Why don’t we split up?” Fluttershy suggested. “You can search through downtown, while I go in the Lux District.”
“You want to go in the Lux District?”
“Oh, yes. I found it quite a nice sight the last time we were all here visiting. It seems so quiet and peaceful.”
“Grim and unlively, more like.” I never did find the appeal of the Lux District. It’s quiet sure, because of how few ponies actually live there, and the unenthusiastic vibes they give off. …I wonder if they’re of a lower class. “Well, I suppose that’s fine. Come find me if you’ve discovered anything.”
“Got it!”
And so Fluttershy and I went our separate ways. I was almost beginning to feel pity for Fluttershy for having to put up with that empty and dull Lux District until I suddenly discovered what I was in for.
It was like a jamboree of ponies in the square. Every dot of land covered in hooves. This was going to take forever.
Seriously, why is Canterlot in such a bumbling hour right now?
“Rarity!” I finally heard a voice call.
“Hmm?” I called out to it. “Hello?”
“Rarity, I thought that was you! Come over here!”
That voice sounds familiar…
I followed the voice through the busy crowds, realizing at last who it belonged to.
It can’t be…
“Fancy Pants!”
“Ahh, Rarity!” Fancy Pants was looking just as dashing as ever today. His hair was specially groomed, and it even looked like he had worked up a bit of a sheen, and had been more in-depth with the mousse. “Nice to see a friendly face. What brings you to Canterlot as of today? Why, I don’t think I’ve heard from you in over three months!”
“Oh yes, that last time I was here…” That embarrassing episode of desperation I’d rather forget… “My deepest apologies, Fancy Pants. I had been meaning to write of course, but things got a little, let’s just say… caught up.”
“Oh don’t worry, I quite understand. It’s a busy life, isn’t it?” I nodded. “But while you are here, I’ve got something to show you!”
“Oh, really? What could it be?”
“I’d like to introduce you to... my soul mate!”
I looked over in the direction he was pointing… and instantly gasped. For his new “soul mate” was definitely not somepony I was expecting.
“R-R-R-Rachelle Ruby!?”
“Oh, hello there! Rarity, I believe. How nice to see you again, my pretty.”
Aw haw haw, yeah!
Hey there, folks! Your old pal Rainbow Dash, here! Oh man, did me and Applejack just have one heck of an adventure in the Everfree Forest!
First off, I’m still not sure whether putting me and Applejack together was such a good idea. I’ll admit, me and Applejack have our differences sometimes. She’s really bossy and all work no play, and she can be kind of stubborn sometimes. But hey, we got a bunch of gemstones to find, and I know we’re definitely going to have to work together as a team to find them all!
No worries, though! As long as I’m on this team, then there’s no way we could possibly fail! Right, Applejack?
Rainbow, what are you—
Right! So anyway, where should I begin? Oh, I know! So there we were, in the Everfree Forest, me and AJ! We had a Gemstone to find, and AJ was getting all scared! She was like…
“Gee, ah don’t know about this here Everfree Forest, pardner! Ah’m getting’ all scared n’ stuff!”
“Aw, relax, AJ! There’s nothing here in this silly old forest that somepony like me can’t handle!”
“Awww, gosh tootin’ Rainbow Dash, y’all are so brave! Can ah scratch yer back for ya?”
Heh heh, yeah…
So anyways, yeah! The Everfree Forest sure is a rough and dangerous place, especially if you’re not prepared for it! And if you don’t believe me, you should just see some of the crazy stuff that Applejack and I saw while were there!
There were… there were mean crocodiles!
“Watch out, Applejack! Those are some really sharp teeth on those ‘diles!”
But then, Applejack got stuck in the mud, and the crocodiles were going to eat her!
“Rainbow, help! Ah’m stuck!”
That is, until I saved the day and rescued her from the mean, vicious reptiles!
“Back you! Back, I said! Don’t worry, AJ! You’re safe now!”
“Aw, thank ya mighty kindly, Rainbow Dash. You’re so awesome!”
And that’s not all! There were big spiders, too!
“Whoa! Look at the size of those plumbin’ things!”
“We have to be really careful so we don’t get caught in their giant web! Let’s go, Applejack!”
And a whole field of poisonous plants…
“Oh, Rainbow… Ah, ah don’t think ah can go on much longer, y’all…”
“Come on, AJ! We’re almost there! We’ve gotta keep going, and perspire!”
And a whole tribe of psychotic ponies that must’ve gotten lost in this forest years ago! Just goes to show you how dangerous it gets around here!
“AI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI!”
“AH! Watch out for their spears, Applejack!”
“I reckon that if we get lost here long enough, then we’ll end up just like them I reckon!”
“I know! Isn’t it cool?”
And you’ll never believe this part…
GIANT MUTANT CRABS!
“Whoa.”
They were huge, and blue! All covered with purple spots, and they had claws the size of an Ursa Minor! But we were fast enough for them. Well, at least I definitely was. But Applejack wasn’t, so I had to carry her to get her away from them. Their pincers were this close to snapping AJ right up! Whew! Living on the edge, that’s how I like it.
Oh, but I haven’t even told you the best part yet! When we finally found the crystal that turned out to be the Gemstone of Poison or whatever, I got to make my daring move and swing across from a vine and dodge all sorts of booby traps before we finally got to the heart of the pyramid! And there waiting for us… was the crystal.
Oh, and then a giant boulder chased after us when we picked the crystal up. I outflew it, of course, because I’m awesome like that.
Hm? What was that?
Oh… right, that. No, I-I still haven’t told AJ about what I saw the other day, with her boyfriend Caramel. I just… I don’t know, I was about to, and then we got distracted by all the cool stuff that happened that I mentioned about.
Don’t worry, I promise I’ll tell her about it eventually. But I mean, who can have a heart-to-heart conversation when you’re outrunning hungry crocodiles and giant boulders, right? Oh, oh! Did I also mention the U.F.O.?
“Well, I’ll be! So you two are already acquainted?”
“Why, yes. The lovely young Rarity once made a dress for me several months back, didn’t you, my dear?”
“Yes, that was the one,” I responded, through gritted teeth. I still couldn’t believe I had to talk to this vile creature. “How have you been since then… Rachelle?”
“Oh, I’m so glad you asked!” I swear, with the way she looked at me, I think she knew. In fact, she may well have been taunting me… the priss. “Oh, life has just been so wonderful since I met Fancy Pants. Before I met him, I was looking very down on life. I haven’t loved anypony in such a long time.”
That’s a lie, and you and I both are both aware of that.
“I wanted to help her get back up on her feet, and before I knew it, well… one thing led to another, and we were dating. And...”
“And?”
“And these past two and a half months are the happiest I’ve ever been.”
He smiled as he said that, but I could tell something seemed off about it. I couldn’t gauge it entirely, but… it almost looked forced.
“Oh! And they’ve been that way for me too, my darling. Come here.” I think that was the first time I ever closed my eyes instead of watching a couple kiss. It’s usually a sight that I find so touching and poetic. Not so much this time. “In fact, just take a look at what he got me just the other day! Show her, dear!”
I have to admit… it was a very pretty looking ruby. It suited her of course, well in name only anyway. However, I couldn’t help but feel, well… magnetically drawn to the stone. And then I discovered why.
As I stared at the ruby, it started to glow more and more, until it was positively radiant. Not only that, but it was sending off these sort of red circles, almost like a signal.
“Pardon me, Rarity? Not to interrupt your, uh… moment of exquisite fascination, but is it just me or are your eyes glowing red?”
Oh, great. As if I didn’t already have enough of a reason to break these two up.