That moment when I first saw you, it was if you had casted your spell over my mind, digging your mismatched talons and claws into the deepest depths of my brain...
“Yes, yes, yes, hold your applause for the main event, my little ponies!” the draconequus smiled, scanning over the crowd of ponies. “The Wonderfully Fantastic Discord will begin in a moment!”
“What… what the heck is that thing?” baffled Celestia. “It’s like somepony put him together in the dark and decided ‘Oh yeah sure let just roll with it.’”
“I think it’s a draconequus,” said Curator. “They’re dragon, pony, eagle, alligator, goat, deer, bull, lion, serpent hybrids that have an unbalanced and unpredictable source of magic… or something like that. What one is doing here I have no idea…”
“Why, it’s a free country,” grumbled Celestia. “Apparently.”
“You’re not still on that, are you?” groaned her brother. “By our mother’s name let it go already and let’s get some cake.”
“Hang on a second,” said the young princess. “Why don’t we just stay here for a while?”
“Why?”
“I want to see what this… what did you call him? Dragon-bits?”
“Draconequus,” corrected Curator. “And I really think we should get going, we don’t want to keep mother waiting too long.” He smiled. “Lest we face her wrath.”
“Just a few minutes and then we’ll go,” she said. “Please, Curator.”
Her older brother sighed as his sister gave him her infamous puppy dog eyes and ducky lips. “That’s not fair, Tia.”
“Come on,” she smiled. “Maybe it’ll be entertaining.”
The two began to walk towards the crowd, making sure to linger at the back as to not bring any unwanted attention to themselves. There they waited for the draconequus to begin doing… whatever it is he was going to do.
“Ponies!” he began, throwing his hands in the air. “Imagine, if you will… a rock. Let’s name it George—no, wait—Tom!” He snapped his fingers, and a large boulder manifested in the air, floating next to his head. “Now… it looks like an ordinary boulder, does it not?”
There was a dead silence.
“Of course it’s a boulder—not a rock—but what if it could be something so much more? I hear you say.”
Again, the crowd remained mute.
“Exactly!” Discord smiled. “Such a smart crowd… but now imagine if the boulder was… wait for it… not a rock?!”
“So?” a pony called from the crowd. “What’s the big deal? You can levitate a rock. My daughter’s barely a filly and she can do that.”
The crowd grew a little restless and were unconvinced with the draconequus’s performance. Discord, however, seemed for the most part unfazed by the growing disapproval.
“Perhaps to the untrained eye,” smiled Discord, rubbing his mismatched hands together. “But with the magic of chaos, I can turn Tom into anything that your little heart desires!” he snapped his fingers and the boulder began flashing white as it disappeared and reformed as a giant pizza. “Here, have a slice,” he said, ripping off a slice and shoving it into a pony’s mouth.
That pony immediately spat it out. “Ugh! It tastes like rocks!” he complained, his rock-caked tongue hanging out of his mouth.
“What’s the big idea?!”
“No pony wants a rock-tasting pizza!”
“Ponies, please!” hushed Discord, calming down the masses. “I still have a few tricks up my sleeves. Now, perhaps a rock turning into a pizza was not the best idea that I’ve ever had, though let’s be honest, we all love pizza. No… but I think that there are other things that tickle at the hearts of us all. You’re looking for something that every pony craves, something that every pony desires and lusts after. Something pretty and shiny that gleams, glamors, and sparkles!”
The floating pizza began to slowly crumple into a ball of sticky cheese and rock flakes. It started to glow a pale white and change form, no longer becoming a mushy sphere of pizza, instead a beautiful sparkling diamond took its place.
“Behold, the creation of the largest diamond you’ve ever seen!”
The ponies were stunned, gasping in awe as they stared at the diamond floating next to the draconequus’s head. A wicked grin crept onto his face. He had them right where he wanted them.
“Yes, yes,” he said. “What you see before you is the unlimited power of chaos! No matter the matter, I can shape anything to be anything that your little pony heart desires. But here’s the kicker; I, The Great and Powerful Discord, can provide this service to any and all! For a small commission fee of course.”
The ponies were in an uproar, swarming into a line as they reached into their pockets and pulled out bits to pay the draconequus for his services.
“Wow…” said Celestia. “Did that thing really turn a rock into a diamond? I’ve never seen a transformation of that scale before.”
“That’s because it was an illusion,” said Curator.
“What?”
“You didn’t see the flicker?” her brother asked. “I’m surprised.”
“What flicker?”
“The flicker of the giant diamond,” Curator pointed at the floating diamond next to Discord, who was busy zapping an apple into a kitty. “If you look at it closely you can catch a glimpse of it still being just a giant rock.” Sure enough, it appeared once again as a rock for half an instant, resuming its diamond form right after. “Did you see that? Nothing but some smoke and mirrors.”
“So he’s ripping all those ponies off?”
“Something like that,” nodded Curator. “Now can we go get some cake?”
“You’re not going to do anything about this?!” gasped Celestia. “But they’re getting scammed by that thing!”
“You know mother’s rule, never get involved unless it’s absolutely necessary,” said Curator. “I know it’s stupid but you can’t go around trying to solve everypony’s problems.”
“Watch me,” huffed Celestia as she marched over to the crowd. “Hey, you!”
“Hmm?” wondered the draconequus, looking over at the approaching Celestia. “I’ll be with you in a moment, madam. Please wait in line like all the other ponies, it’s not like I’ll run out of magic.”
“Did you think that you could get away with this?” she scowled. “Cheating these innocent ponies out of their bits with your schemes you… you… con-artist!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” baffled Discord, jumping and flipping into the air until he landed right in front of the princess. “I’m appalled by such a statement! Who do you think you are to make such an accusation?”
“The Princess! That’s who!” barked Celestia as she spun around to show off her wings and solar cutie mark and causing all other ponies to gasp in revelation.
“Well excuse me, princess,” droned Discord, indifferent to the fact that he was in the presence of royalty. “I didn’t realize that a draconequus couldn’t try to bring joy and harmony to the downtrodden.”
“You’re stealing money from these ponies!”
“I am not!” he yelled. He looked over his shoulder at the crowd of ponies before leaning into the princess’s ear. “Play along and I’ll make it worth your while,” he whispered.
“What?”
“So… you think you’re so clever, eh?” the draconequus called dramatically, giving Celestia a little wink. “You think just because you’re the big banana you can foil my schemes?”
“What the hay are you talking about?!” shouted Celestia. “And did you just try to bribe me?”
“You win this round, Princess!” roared Discord, snapping his finger to summon a large teal cannon in a puff of smoke. “But mark my word princess, you will rue this day! Rue it I tell you!” Discord flipped backwards and landed into his cannon. With a whip of his talons he conjured up a ball of flames and threw it on the fuse of the cannon. “Oh, and no refunds!”
He aimed the cannon up to the skies and was shot out with a thunderous boom. The draconequus soared high into the clouds, cackling frequently as he pierced the heaven.
“Wow…” hummed Celestia. “I can’t believe he did that.”
“I can’t believe that he aimed the cannon straight up in the air,” said Curator. “He does realize that he’ll just fall back down, right?”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!” screamed Discord as he came flailing back down to earth, crashing into the ground with seismic force and kicking up a dust cloud. When the smoke finally cleared, the draconequus was laying face first in a small crater, groaning and whining in pain. “… I regret nothing…” he muttered, lifting up his heavily bruised face before collapsing once again into the dirt.
The ponies began to circle him. “Is… is he dead?” one of them asked. “I can’t tell if he’s breathing or not.”
“I think he’s breathing,” another pony said. “What the heck was that all about? How moronic do you have to be to do something so stupid?”
“Serves him right!” shouted a third pony. “He deserved it after he tried to scam us all. Look, my daughter’s kitten is turning back into an apple!”
Just as he had said, everypony looked down at a little mare with a sleeping kitten on her back. However, it soon began to flicker a little, flashing back and forth between a cat and an apple until eventually it burst into a puff of grey smoke and resumed its original form as an apple. As the apple had shifted its form, all of the other transfigured objects began to change to back to their original shapes. Soon, the ground was littered with useless rocks, sticks, and other worthless objects. The ponies all grumbled and cursed under their breath as they vacated the premises, leaving the streets mostly deserted with the exception of the princess, her brother, and the strange creature.
Said strange creature’s head snapped around like an owl’s. “Are they all gone?” he asked, scanning the perimeter with his bizarre looking eyes. “Well, don’t just sit there. Answer me woman!”
“My name is not woman,” scowled Celestia. “My name is Princess Celestia!”
“Ooo, look at me!” laughed Discord, shooting up from the ground. “I’m Princess Celestia and I have a big, fat, banana butt!”
“I beg your pardon?!”
“Oh, lighten up sweet cheeks, you did good for a dame,” snickered Discord. “But I fear we haven’t been properly introduced,” he took an incredibly exaggerated bow. “I am the one and only, The Great and Powerful Discord.”
“Charmed,” she muttered. “Why were you trying to scam those ponies?”
“Eh, the same reason why I do anything in life, to stave off the ever nearing talons of boredom,” he yawned, stretching his arms out. “But I suppose I’ve wasted enough time on this little scheme. Perhaps I’ll be a woodcutter tomorrow or maybe a spy…”
“Wait, what do you mean you’ll be a woodcutter tomorrow? Aren’t you a sales magician?”
“I’d love to stay and chat with you all day,” said Discord. “But I have a schedule not to keep so T.T.F.N. Ta-ta for now!” The draconequus jumped up onto the tip of his tail, which quickly coiled into a giant spring. He easily cleared the town with just one mighty jump, disappearing in a fit of laughter.
“Well that was a nice distraction,” said Curator, finally speaking up. “I love how he blatantly ignored me. So can we get cake now, sis?”
“What did me mean he’ll be a woodcutter tomorrow?” wondered Celestia, ignoring her brother. “What does that mean?”
“Who cares, that guy was annoying as all sin,” muttered Curator. “Now, can we finally get some cake? I’m starving.”
“Yeah sure…” she said as the two began to walk.
It was a quiet stroll down to Cakes R Us. Everypony they passed would stop and bow in their presence, causing a light chuckle from Curator. He, unlike his sister, always found it funny when a pony insisted on stopping whatever they were doing to show him respect. It wasn’t like he was going to throw them in the dungeons if they didn’t but he would never tell them that, it was too much fun. He looked over to his side to say something to Celestia but she seemed lost in her thoughts, much like a daydream, for which she was known to have many but this one seemed more focused, determined, and the shine in her showed a great deal of concentration.
When they finally got the cake shop, Celestia was muttering things to herself, having a personal debate with her mind. Curator walked up to the cake stall’s window, looking at the hundreds of tasty delicacies that they could order, each one more salivating than the last.
“Hey, what kind of cake do you want?” asked Curator. “Tia… Tia are you even listening to me?”
“Hmm?” hummed his sister, still in her light daze. “Just… get me something with strawberries and cheese.”
“Two slices of Strawberry Cheesecake, please,” said Curator. The chef nodded at them and quickly zapped up two delicious looking pieces of cake. Curator threw a few bits on the counter and levitated the two plates. “C’mon, let’s go find a place to sit.”
After briefly looking for a free table, they finally found a leaving family and snatched their table.
“This cake looks better than I remember,” smiled Curator. “They’ve really upped the value of everything. It’s very nice, don’t you agree?”
His sister didn’t respond, she just kept staring at her cake.
“Tia?” wondered her brother. “Tia. Tia… Hello! Equestria to Tia! Anypony home?” he nudged his sister on the head. “Wake up, nerd!”
“Huh?” drowsed Celestia. “S-s-sorry… I’ve just been thinking a lot.”
“Oh, that isn’t good,” snickered Curator. “Well, don’t overexert yourself.”
“I’m being serious,” frowned the young princess. “I was thinking about that dragon thing from earlier, you know the one that was running that scam?”
“I remember him being really annoying,” said Curator. “And possibly brain damaged.”
“Well, remember the last thing he said to us before leaving?” she asked. “About how tomorrow he would try being a carpenter? I’ve been trying to figure out what he meant by that. It’s the only thing I’ve been able to think about all afternoon. I don’t get it!”
“Get what?”
“How he can just do that?!” she said. “I thought he was a salesperson, but then he goes and changes his mind! He… he was able to choose what he wanted to be. How can anypony just do that?”
“He a draconequus, not a pony, sis,” Curator said. “He’s not like us. No cutie marks, no destiny, and no purpose.”
“He didn’t have a cutie mark, did he?” wondered Celestia. “He could do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted and there was no brand to shackle him down to one thing… he could go anywhere, be anyone, see anything, love anyone... he’s free.”
“We’re all free, Tia.”
“No, Curator, we’re not,” said Celestia. “We think that we’re free but our lives are predestined by the marks on our flanks. Once they appear we can’t escape them, we’re doing the same thing over and over again until the day we drop dead. But that Discord, he’s not branded by fate. Mother never touched him with her tyranny. She says that we’re free but we’re all slaves to our cutie marks but not him, Discord has true freedom.”
“Look, Celestia,” said Curator. “Can you please stop with all this nonsense? You’ve been thinking way too much about this. Mother gave us all free will; we can choose to do whatever we want.”
“It’s not the same,” she mumbled. “Look, can we just go home, now? I’m sure mother will be sending the search parties soon. And don’t you have a wife who’s waiting for you?”
“Right, fine,” her brother said, getting up from the table. “Do you want to take your cake with us?”
*****
“Mother, we’re back!” called Curator, walking through the throne room doors. “Hope you didn’t mind but me and Celestia went into town for a bit.”
Faust was sitting posed on her throne, sifting through a bunch of levitated pieces of paper. She barely looked up from them to acknowledge her children. “You’re an adult; you’re capable of making your own decisions.”
“I know, I just thought you’d want to know.”
“And now I do,” she said, flipping her page. “Could you leave me and Celestia alone for a moment? I’d like to talk to my daughter in private.”
“Sure thing, I’d better find my Symphony anyways,” he said, walking back out the door. “I’ll see you two later.”
“Bye…” waved Celestia, closing the door behind him and leaving her alone with her mother in the eerie silence. The young princess’ eyes drifted around the castle throne room, confirming that they were completely alone. The shuffling of papers ripped through the quietness of the room as Faust finally lifted her eyes away from her papers. The queen just stared at her daughter as if she was tearing her apart with her eyes, but they showed no sense of emotion, just a regular stare.
“Shall we begin with today’s lesson?” Faust finally said.
“What?”
“Your late start this morning and the arrival of your brother has cut into your lectures,” she said. “I’m afraid we’ll have to fit it all in the little time we have left before dinner. I trust that won’t be an issue with you?”
“No mother…” her daughter droned. “Let’s just get this over with.”
“Are you okay?” Faust asked. “You seem a little down.”
“Like you’d notice,” Celestia mumbled. “I’m fine, and I don’t want to talk about it, so let’s just start the lesson.”
“If you say so,” Faust said, flipping through her notes. “Now, yesterday, we covered the solar patterns and proper distance from the earth…”
She began her daily ramble, talking about the science and facts of the sun and proper celestial control of the cosmos. Things that were important for the young princess’s future for when she would eventually take up the duties of the sun and replace her mother, things that she should be listening to but instead was stuck again in another one of her daydreams, her head stuck in the clouds and heavens she was supposed to be learning about.
Thoughts of the draconequus kept creeping into her mind and she wasn’t sure why. She kept picturing him on that stage with his mix-matched limbs, long thin body and quirky facial features. There was something about those eyes that were incredibly tantalizing and different, unfocused like a blurry mirror but yet at the same time mysterious, like there was more to find behind those red and yellow irises.
“… and of course you yourself must make sure not to ever fly too close to the sun, lest you be incinerated. Celestia, can you tell me why you must stay exactly fifty meters from the sun when pulling it?”
Her daughter’s mind was a thousand miles away from the lesson, everything her mother said had gone through one ear and out the other.
“Celestia!” barked her mother, keeping her stern demeanor. “Have you been paying attention?”
“Umm… yes?”
“Thankfully, lying was never your strong point,” Faust said. “You need to focus more on your duties, my daughter. There is going to be a time when I’m not here anymore to guide you and these lectures are going to help you rule this kingdom.”
“A world without you?” wondered Celestia. “Imagine that.”
“I’m serious,” glared her mother. “I would like for you to take these things more serious and stop with this new attitude. Understand?”
“Sure, whatever…”
“You have a beautiful destiny Celestia,” Queen Faust said, as she headed towards the door. “And I won’t let you let it go to waste. I think this will be all we will cover today. Please prepare for dinner with your brother and his family.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she said, staring absentmindedly out the window. “I’ll be there.”
*****
Celestia kicked open the door of her room, she was dead exhausted from dinner with her family. It had been a painful experience for her and all involved. While her mother and Curator talked about affairs in the Crystal Empire, she was stuck in between her braced-face nerd of a sister and a foal princess that found an immense pleasure in throwing up her baby food in Celestia’s pink mane.
The young princess dragged herself to her shower and stepped in. She started to run the warm water threw her mane, washing away all the baby vomit from her hair and quickly drying off with a one of the towels. With her hair and body dried, she slipped on a polka-dot nightdress and threw herself onto her bed. She splayed out on the bed, not even bothering to get under the covers. She was completely drained of energy, her eyes growing heavier as sleep’s mellow grasp overtook her.
And then there was a sound.
Celestia rolled onto her side as she managed to slightly pry her eyes open, the darkness of the room no more visible than a shrouded haze. She couldn’t see what had made the noise but assumed it was nothing important, a creak of the bed or Luna walking down the hallways.
Feeling a little cold though, she rolled into the bed covers and snuggled up against one of her body pillows.
“Getting a little friendly are we?”
Her eyes shot open. Staring at her from the darkness was a pair of oddly coloured red and yellow eyes, the softness that she thought was one of her pillow actually a warm body of scales and fur. Discord’s smug, haughty grin was spread wide across his face as he gazed at the princess.
“How’s it going?” asked Discord.
It’s funny… all day I was thinking about you, you plagued my thoughts more than anything I’ve ever thought about. Then in the dead of night you were there, like a wish come true. And although my reaction was well justified and there was no good reason for you to have snuck into my room in the middle of night… I want to say that I’m sorry.
It’s funny, the first time I looked into those eyes of yours, I was taken away. I saw something more than a simple con-artist or performer, like there was another being behind the face of Discord, a creative and caring soul hidden by smoke and jokery.
But you know what I really think is funny? When you looked into my eyes… I like to think you saw the same in me...