//------------------------------// // (I Can't Help) Falling In Love With You // Story: Twilight Sparkle; Appleloosan Sheriff // by Peridork //------------------------------// Twilight was having a great day. There was nothing in this town that had tried to kill her outright and she even was being treated well by the townsfolk. She wondered what sort of things might happen today. As she thought this, a knock was heard at her door. She opened the door with her magic and quickly closed it. The Royal Family (minus Luna, who was in Canterlot) was standing right outside her door. “Oh horsefeathers! I thought Celestia was joking about coming here.” “Now Pinkie, Granny Pie always said to me that if you liked somepony you needed to corral them and keep them locked in your house at all times. Then she took her own advice too literally and locked herself in a burning building. But that doesn't mean its not good advice. You go get that Sparkle mare and find a way for you two to have children. Especially after your two sisters ran to ‘civilization’” Sue Pie drawled while thinking her two strange daughters. One was a cellist and the other was a photographer of some renown. But it still hurt that they hadn't seen the light of rock farming as laid down by the True Earth Ponies founder, Rock Steady. “Yes, mother.” “Don’t you ‘yes mom’ me young lady! I forbid you to come back home until you consummate your engagement vows the True Earth Pony way!” “But mom that involves-” Pinkie Pie whined. “I know what it involves! Don’t question our religion...you know where all those ponies go.” Pinkie looked around in fear. “They go to Tartarus?” “Yes. That is where all those questioners will go one day.” Sue Pie looked solemnly into the distance, surveying all of the rock farm. Pinkie walked towards the bar. For she knew one thing. If she was going to ask Twilight out she knew what she had to do. “Hey there Pinkie, what can I do you for?” Applejack was surprised at the pink mare’s sudden appearance in her establishment. “What is the strongest alcoholic beverage you have?” Pinkie said with a determined look on her face. Everypony in the bar stopped what they were doing and quickly hoofed it out of a perceived war zone. “Uh, follow me.” Applejack prayed to Faust that Pinkie wasn't going to destroy the town in a drunken rampage. Pinkie didn't leave the bar until a few hours later. By that time, she had found a way to drink all the alcohol in the bar in her valiant quest to get with Twilight. “Have you seen any ponies in this town that have caught your eye?” Celestia was getting tired of Twilight’s hospitality towards her family. “Nope. There’s nopony here that I like.” Twilight attempted to lie through her teeth. “That’s a complete lie. Mother, she did one of her eye twitches. Knowing Twilight’s past attempts at lying, that is a signal. Now Twilight tell little old me who you actually like.” Natura smiled the all-knowing smile gained from years of practice that could break the hardest of liars. Twilight used her skills of occlumency to keep Natura’s mental jab away from her thoughts. “Darn it. That usually works. Daddy, bring out the dolls.” Discord chuckled a little. Now it was getting to the fun part. “Now Twilight, I used your descriptions of your friends to sew little dolls.” Natura waved a hoof over the collection of five dolls. “Since you didn't start telling me your special somepony it gets a little more violent.” Celestia glanced at Discord. “Discord, I did not train her to be somepony like this.” Discord whistled innocently. Twilight finally broke down. “I might like somepony...they are-” A persistent knocking came from the door. “Twilight. It’s Applejack. We have a definite problem on our hands.” Twilight stomped to the door and threw it open ready to yell at Applejack but couldn't get out any words out once she saw the town. It looked like a ghost town. Everypony was hiding from the pink mare drunkenly walking towards Twilight’s humble home. A poofy haired version of her. And she was singing. “Twilight I’m sorry but the last thing she said was that she was going to find you cause her mom told her to get a special somepony.” Discord began laughing at Twilight’s predicament. “Great I thought my day couldn’t any worse.” Twilight grumbled. Appleloosa Town Square- High Noon Pinkie Pie was so happy to see Twilight. Finally she could tell her how she felt. Twilight was ready to get this over with. She was the sheriff after all. “I have no clue how to beat her. Any ideas?” She quickly glanced over to her side of the field. Nopony had any ideas...except for one alicorn. “I have a plan, but I have to cast a spell on you.” “Fine get it over with. I have no other idea how to fight that thing.” Twilight gestured over to Pinkie who bounced around the square oblivious to everypony except for Twilight. “Ready?” Natura charged up her magic and aimed directly at Twilight. The blast hit Twilight directly in the face and temporarily made her vision blur. “What did you do to her?” both Celestia and Discord whispered to their daughter. “Oh just made her have the same symptoms as Pinkie right now. If she couldn’t find the path of least resistance by telling me who she had feelings for I did it the funniest way possible. Goodbye Twilight, hello Twilight’s subconscious.” “That’s my daughter.” Discord wiped a tear from his eye. Twilight felt fantastic. She felt like she could do anything. She was ready to say what she thought of anypony. Celestia damn the consequences. “Why do we have Princesses anyway? Shouldn’t we have a king and queen. I mean we were attacked by Queen Chrysalis and every other nation has a king or queen, King Sombra being one of them, Is Celestia hiding that she has parents somewhere?” Celestia nudged her daughter. “Maybe guide the conversation. She could be at this for hours.” “Uh, right. Twilight who do you want for a special somepony?” Twilight thought about this for a while. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are taken, Applejack and Rarity seem to have something going on but I'm not sure...the most logical is that I like Pinkie Pie. Like, hmm what a strange word. But I can finally say it to myself, my other friends aren't as special to me. She makes my day not as boring. I guess... She finally blurted out the first pony she thought of. “Pinkie.” Everyone in the square stopped to digest the information Twilight had just said. Pinkie most of all. “Time for all ponies to think clearly, can’t have things repeating themselves can we?” Natura laughed at the memory of Cadance and Shining Armor’s first meeting. She still couldn't believe that the marriage had even worked. She did learn a little bit too much information about the weird things those two liked to do in the bedroom. Twilight’s mind cleared but she wasn't fast enough to dodge the pink blur that blindsided her and grabbed her into the tightest hug Twilight had ever felt. “Uh, Pinkie. Can you please let go of me a little bit?” Twilight wheezed while attempting to extricate herself. “I’m just so happy. I never thought you would like me and...” Pinkie began crying tears of joy. “Well isn't this great you two,” Celestia walked up to the new couple. “seem to be enjoying your new love that has grown between you and I give you my blessing to be married as soon as possible.” Twilight’s eye twitched in desperation. “Princess this seems way too sudden. Can’t you give us time on the wedding plans? I mean we just got to express our feelings.” Celestia’s eye twinkled in glee. “Oh I guess there might be one way to slow it a little bit.” She leaned towards Twilight and whispered into her ear. “Really? That seems easy.” “Then I extend it towards all your friends. Tell all five of your friends that I want them to send me reports on their escapades in this town. I have been running out of things to read and Luna would probably like to hear about this town.” “Thank you Princess.” Twilight’s mind was attempting to believe that Celestia would let her off this easily. “Ready for departure everyone? I believe that Luna would like to hear about this little outing of ours.” Discord rolled his eyes. “And what would that mare know about taking a vacation? She never leaves the castle. I wonder what she does on her free time? I bet she has a harem of lovers, one of those old fashioned ones.” Discord nudged his wife. “Discord, you know that whatever my sister does on her free time is her business alone.” Celestia glared at her husband. “What? Just wondering.” Sheriff’s Quarters Twilight finally felt relaxed. She was ready to curl up with the Canterbury Tales and read some of the tales within, but she was interrupted by her guest. “Yes Pinkie?” “I can’t go home yet.” “Why can't you? As you can see I’m kind of going to be reading a book.” Pinkie quietly muttered to herself until finally getting the courage to speak. “Its part of my religion.” Twilight thought deeply about all the religions she had heard about. The cults on the Elder Gods, the Church of Equestria, druids, True Earth Ponies... “True Earth Ponies, right?” Pinkie shook her head in agreement. “What do we need to do again? I haven’t studied the religion in years.” Twilight sighed. “Well we just need to give each other a gift which shows that we are engaged.” Twilight’s ears perked up. “That’s it?” Pinkie giggled. “Silly Twilight. That’s just the engagement. Then we have to swear that we will love each other until we die of old age. And maybe get some foals at some very distant point.” Twilight then was surprised when Pinkie Pie pulled out of her saddlebags the largest ruby she had ever seen outside of Canterlot. “Pinkie is that for me?” Twilight said with some apprehension. “Yep, I begged my parents for it and they finally gave it to me.” Pinkie pushed it closer to Twilight. “Now what do you have for me?” Pinkie stared at Twilight. “Uh.” Twilight looked around the library. What would be good. No. No. No. Ah here we go! She levitated a cookbook out of the mess, “Here you go Pinkie!” “Baking and You. A Guide to Culinary Delights that Any Customer Will Love by Madame La Farine. Ooh, Twilight that so fancy...but I don't know how to make some of the things in this book. I mean my baking ability is limited to cakes, cupcakes, and pies.” “Don’t worry Pinkie. I know you’ll learn quickly.” Twilight smiled. “Thanks Twilight. See you tomorrow.” Pinkie kissed Twilight before she left. Twilight felt happy. Outside Appleloosa The ground shook as the first magebot hit the ground. It continued to shake as a veritable army of machines fell from the sky. The magebots waited for instructions from their creator. They would spread the influence of The Republic of the Southern Frontier starting with this little town. There were no ponies that could stop them. Its programming was absolute: resistance was futile and the prime directive was conquest. The unchanging stars gazed down upon Appleloosa’s newest inhabitants.