//------------------------------//
// Chapter 13 A Chaotic Entrance 
// Story: WHY DO I HAVE HOOVES?! 
// by Cydon 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 13 A Chaotic Entrance


"Now tell me, who is this us?" Princess Luna's piercing glare didn't let up for a second and neither did her magic as Rainbow continued to futilely resist the hold.

'Well this escalated quickly.'

"You don't say?" Rainbow says making sure to be extra heavy on the sarcasm as she rolls our eyes.

"I do say, now speak." Princess Luna glares at us a very unamused expression across her face as Twilight steps forward.

"Princess I can explain every-"

"Hush Twilight Sparkle, of this matter you would not be apprised. This pony is emitting very low levels of Chaos magic so low in fact that I doubt even Starswirl himself could have detected it. Nay, only an Alicorn could."

"Ch.. Chaos magic! Wha bu-but how?"

"That is what I wish to know." While Rainbow continued to struggle against the magical bonds that bound us I had been quite busy panicking. 'Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit-' "Guards detain this pony until further notice." A crisp salute and two pegasi swoop in with iron chains ready to restrain us.

"STOP!" My shout clearly shocks the Princess as well as the guards as they return to glaring at us.

"What are you doing?" Rainbow hisses as quietly as possible hoping the guards don't hear. She has no reason to worry though as the guards have already averted their gaze and their ears to the Princess in search of new orders for this unexpected development.

'I have no idea but hopefully it saves our flank!' Princess Luna looks us over obviously curious about this new voice emanating from a pony she thought she knew.

"Did you have something to say?"

"I, have a proposal." The Princess raises a brow obviously surprised.

"I shall hear it." 

"If I promise to answer all of your questions truthfully and to the best of my ability. Will you, in return promise me that nopony will hurt Rainbow?" The Princess contemplates my proposal as she intently looks us up and down as if for the first time. Her eyes finally settle upon the enchanted amulet narrowing for just a moment before she returns her gaze to the rest of us.

"So be it. You have my word as ruler of the night that the one known as Rainbow Dash shall not come to harm."

"Thank you."

"But Prin-"

"Be silent Twilight! Or do I need to have the guards remove you?" 

Twilight's eyes go wide before she sinks to the ground. "No Princess." Quietly she slinks behind the rest of our group who themselves are a mixture of fear, anger, sadness, and confusion.

"Good. First question who or what are you?"

"My name is Kevin, and I'm a human." The Princess stops a moment to think before continuing to her next question.

"Why are you residing within the pegasus Rainbow Dash? And how long have you?"

"The first one is kinda complicated and I don't know the specifics but if I just say magic will that suffice?"

"No."

*sigh* "I thought so. Well, to put it simply I went to bed one night back home and when I woke up the next day here I was. If you want the specifics on how I got here you'll have to ask Twilight because I don't understand any of it." The Princess raises a thoughtful hoof to her muzzle as she turns her gaze to the purple pony attempting to become one with the floor from behind a still glaring purple armored pony.

"And for the second?"

"Uh.. about a week from today actually. And I gotta tell ya this has been the weirdest week of my life."

"That explains much."

"Pardon?"

"I-" The sound of shattering glass quickly followed by a loud thud echoes across the large hall interrupting the Princess and causing all of us to jump in surprise. Spinning around we all turn to see a pony shaped object embedded into a newly created crater in the marble floor. Before anyone can even think about what they are seeing Princess Luna leaps into action. "SISTER!" We are unexpectedly released from the Princess's magic as she rushes over to the bloodied mass of fur and feathers now lying motionless on the floor. 'What happened to her?'

"Princess Celestia!" All of us including Rainbow and the stoic guards rush over to the fallen Princess. The formerly white pony that now lay on her side was stained with blood and dirt. Her wings lay sprawled on the ground twisted at awkward angles and in places they shouldn't twist at all, all the while her long horn was blackened and smoldering in the daylight. 

"Please Tia, please be okay." The fallen Princess's face contorts into a painful grimace as she weakly opens her eyes.

"Lulu?"

"Yes Tia, it's me, I'm here."

"You must gather the elements." The Princess's eyelids slowly shut with each weakening breath.

"Tia? Tia!? Somepony get a doctor!" A guard rushes out of the room to return a minute later with two more ponies a mare and a stallion that both wear white outfits and carry a stretcher on their backs. The stallion pales as he rushes forward, dropping the stretcher behind him which clatters to the floor.

"Oh.. oh dear. Nurse! Check for a pulse!" The mare drops the stretcher and rushes to the fallen Princess. "You two! Guards! Place her onto the stretcher.. gently please. Nurse, how is she?" The nurse looks up with a grim expression.

"A weak pulse but she's still breathing, barely. We need to get her to the E.R stat!"

"Guards. One, two, three, lift! Good! We can take it from here. Nurse!" The two ponies take the stretcher and hurry out the door a trail of blood following them out.

"I should go with them maybe I can be of some help." Princess Luna can only nod to Cadence as she is still in shock from Celestia's brutal entry. 

Moments after she leaves Shining Armor snaps out of his shock. "Wait for me Cadence!" He shouts rushing after his wife he quickly slips out the door and leaves us two fewer and none the better. Not moments after they leave the door slams shut as a deep almost maniacal laughter fills the air sending shivers down our spine. 

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The laughter is followed by a deep cackling voice that speaks from all around us and nowhere at the same time. "I did tell her not to do it."  It sighs audibly before continuing in a slightly somber yet sinister tone. "But nopony ever listens to me do they? How about you little Loony? It seems I need a new playmate now that Celly is... indisposed.."

"How dare you harm my sister you monster!"

"Ah ah ahh temper temper, Princess. I only want to play a game." The voice chuckles again creating echoes around the room.

"I will not play games with the likes of you!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!" A blinding flash of pink light, well... blinds us for a moment, when our eyes clear floating before us is a strange creature. The creature, which must be a crime against nature by its mere existence is a random amalgamation of various animal parts that are seemingly slapped together to create a functioning body, a horse like head with a goatee and two bald patches on the top of his head, a dragon tail, and a snake like body he merely grinned a toothy grin as he gazed upon us all. 

He slithers forward through the air over to Princess Luna with his red eyes staring deep into hers. "You don't have a choice." A feeling of terror washes through not only me but the colorful pony I inhabit as this creature leans back. A malicious smile across his face as he looks around the room staring at each of us in turn. "Now sit still and be quiet I don't want to waste time like I did with your sister." He holds a claw up towards Princess Luna and snaps his talons, the area around the Princess flashes and a metal cage appears around her. 'Surely this thing isn't-' Twilight snorts and stomps a few steps towards it.

"Discord! I don't know how you broke the seal the elements placed on you but you're going back!" 'It is... well... shit.' Then under her breath as she turns back to us. "What happened to his horns?" Princess Luna looks as though she wants to say something but doesn't get the chance.

"It was quite a simple thing really, and I never even lifted a claw!" 

"What are you talking about? Nopony would ever help the likes of you!" Discord looks down at her and smiles.

"And nopony did my dear. I merely allowed myself to help myself!" He finishes by poking himself in the chest with a claw. At that moment a flash of light appears next to Discord revealing a miniature Discord. Waving a claw over it he pats it's head in a fatherly manner. "Isn't he handsome? A true chip off the old block! Too bad there can only be one. Back you go mini me!" Big Discord grabs the mini and places it on top of his head, it squirms for a moment before being overtaken by an orange glow. The glow brightens and flashes a few times, forcing us to look away. When we look back the mini Discord is gone, replaced by a single misshapen horn. 

"Now where did the other get off too? Hmm." He taps his chin with a claw as he mumbles a little under his breath. "Ah! So that's where you went." Grinning he turns towards us. "Oh? And you brought something with you? Hmm, I've never encountered one of his species before." 'He knows about me? B-but how?'

"I..I don't know what your-" Rainbow starts only to be hushed by his claw on our lips.

"Oh please, you all can't really think that little Twilight here-" He waves a lion paw at her for emphasis much to her displeasure as she growls back at him. "-really has the ability to pluck the mind of a living being from its body all the way in another dimension, then transport it across the dimensional divide and then safely deposit it into little Rainbow's head without a little help. Do you?" His question was answered with an uncomfortable silence that ended when he continued on his own. "Oh you did didn't you? You all did." He sniggers a little before covering his mouth with a paw.

"This should remain between us Dis*snap*MMPH!" Princess Luna is silenced by the appearance of a muzzle over her mouth.

"Hush Loony you'll spoil my fun."

"Just what are ya tryin ta say Discord? That Kevin here is actually another one of those mini you's or somethin?"

"Bwahahaha! Chaos no dear Applejack! My mini me just modified Twilight's little spell to target a far more... desirable subject. And boy did he choose right! It hardly took any time at all to collect the chaos I needed to bust me out of that rock!"

"What are you talking about!?"

"He can speak! Wonderful! So very clever of you Twilight." Discord chuckles as he lazily floats above us wearing sunglasses and sipping a cup of chocolate milk with a little umbrella in it. After he finishes the drink he tosses it out of the hole in the window where it promptly lands somewhere in the gardens and rather violently explodes. "Hmm, I believe it's starting to lose its touch, but I do so love a good explosion. But you know, As much fun as it would be to play with you like this dear boy I believe you do deserve a little reward for freeing me, well.. that and I want my other horn back." Discord sets down on the ground and starts walking towards us a menacing grin on his face.

"What do you mean a reward? What are you going to do?" In fear Rainbow starts to back away but before we can get far we find ourselves backed into Luna's cage with nowhere to run.

"Do? Little human I can do whatever I want! I am the Lord of Chaos after all. Besides, what are you going to do about it? Try to stop me? HAHAHAHAHA!" Discord's face darkens and he snaps his claws, disappearing in a flash of pink light.

"Where did he go!?" Another bright flash right in front of us and were staring face to face with the terrifying Lord of Chaos himself. His dark glare sends shivers down our spine, as his are eyes filled with a ferociousness that is rivalled by none. Not even the furious manticore could compete with this monster. Our eyes widen in fear as he pulls back his eagle talons, they glow a vibrant orange as he grins maliciously. 

"Oh don't worry it will all be over soon enough and it will only hurt, well... quite a lot I'm told actually." Behind him all our friends are frozen in place staring in complete shock and horror unable to move as he laughs and swings his talons at our head. We grit our teeth and shut our eyes expecting the worst, and we are not disappointed.

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!" The worst pain I can imagine has nothing on the piercing, burning agony that is rampaging through us. It's the indescribable feeling of someone literally reaching into your skull and digging around in your brain. It lasted what felt like hours but was probably only a minute or two with Rainbow and I screaming in agony the whole time. Finally, and before either of us could black out from the pain he found what he was looking for, me. I felt him slowly wrap his talons around my consciousness, squeezing my essence into the palm of his claw and then, everything faded to black.






















All around me I'm in darkness, a feeling almost like floating is my only sense in this vast expanse of void. 'What is this place?' I wonder as panic begins to edge its way in. What feels like moments later I begin falling, 'Ahh!' I accelerate as I fall going faster and faster sending me deeper and deeper into the void, then as suddenly as it began I stop. Gasping from the sudden stop I continue to float there for a few minutes. 'Where am I!? Hello!?' A light, barely visible in the distance appears before me. It swoops this way and that shining a beam of light around as if searching for something in the dark. It's then I realize that it might be searching for me but before I can decide if I should start panicking or call out to it it shines its light down on me.

'Kevin?' The voice comes from everywhere and nowhere all at once but its owner is unmistakable.

'Princess Luna?'

'Thank the moon! I was afraid you may have been lost.'

'Lost? What happened to me!? The last thing I remember was pain and.. Discord! What did he do to me!?'

'Calm yourself you are well.'

'Calm? Calm!? How can I be calm at a time like this!? I'm wherever this is and I don't even know where Rainbow is or if she's okay! Oh! And did I mention I don't have a body right now!?'

'I can answer those questions. You are currently in the dreamscape which is how I am able to talk to you right now. As for Rainbow she is still within her own body and will suffer no long lasting ill effects. However, your last statement is not quite true.'

'What are you talking about?'

'While it is true that you have been separated from Rainbow Dash Discord has been true to his word and rewarded you. The 'gift' of which Discord spoke is a body of your very own.'

'What?'

'Do not worry, you are a handsome male pegasus.'

'What!?' An ethereal giggle echoes across the void. 'Stop laughing! This is serious!'

'Indeed it is and I am sorry. After transferring your mind to your new body Discord's mini self rebelled, it refused to become one with Discord himself. And after a brief standoff escaped via teleportation before he could capture it.'

'I don't think he would be very happy about that. Didn't he say it was his other horn?'

'Indeed he wasn't and indeed it was. In a fit of rage Discord sealed the element bearers within their own elements and summoned minions to guard them while he began to search for his mini.'

'So why exactly are you telling me all of this anyway? Wasn't I bound for the dungeons not too long ago?'

'You speak the truth young one. However, as Discord is now free that is no longer necessary.'

'But why tell me anything? For all you know I could be working for Discord.'

'Yes, that is true and while I may not fully trust you I find I have little choice in the matter.'

'That is.. well.. it sounds bad.'

'My guards have been routed and the Elements of Harmony, our only defence against this monster have been taken.'

'So what exactly do you want me to do about it? Even with a body of my own I won't be that useful I can't fly, I can't fight, I can barely run in a straight line!'

'Believe me I would much rather go myself but I cannot. All of Equestria is depending on the elements to stop Discord and now the elements are depending on you. It is imperative that they are retrieved. Can I count on your help?'

'Wow, that was such a great pep talk that I'm all fired up and ready to go right now.' If I had eyes in this dreamscape they would be rolling with extreme prejudice. 

'Excellent then I shall wake you up.'

'What?! No! That was sarcasm! You can't really expect me to-' The light that was Princess Luna grew brighter expanding until it encompassed everything around me and continuing to get brighter and brighter until everything went dark once more.

The first thing I notice, besides once more being in the dark, was a cool breeze blowing gently back and forth across my arm. 'Wait! My arm! I get to control myself!' With this realization I became flooded with information being provided by my other senses. 'Touch? Lying on a cold hard marble floor? Check! Smell? Not much but check! Hearing? Well I can hear my own breathing at least. Sight?' Slowly I open my new eyes for the first time, the first thing I see is a cerulean blue foreleg lying before me on the ground. 'Yep still a pony. Damn, I was hoping I would just wake up and be me again.' The small blue hairs blow gently to and fro from my breathing. When I finally manage to tear my eyes away from myself I notice colorful shadows stretching across the ground from the stain glass windows. Towering above my prone position about a dozen yards away stand six doors, each door is different in color and each has a familiar cutie mark emblazoned upon it.

With a groan I put my new hooves underneath me and shakily get up off the ground. 'Looks like I'm a little bit taller than Rainbow now, because I don't remember the ground being so far away!' Now that I am on my own four hooves I turn my head to check out the rest of my new body. Looking back a pair of outstretched feathery blue wings collide with my open mouth. "PFFT!" 'Definitely still a pegasus.' I notice my flank lacks a cutie mark but ignore it for now as my tail which was kind of spiky and a mixture of purple and a faded red swished from side to side. A quick check to make sure I am indeed sporting the proper..er equipment so to speak, and I turn back to the doors in front of me satisfied that I am finally male once more. 'At least Princess Luna wasn't lying to me. I really am a male pegasus.'

"MMPH!" A muffled shout from behind draws my attention, looking back I see Princess Luna still trapped and muzzled as she stares at me with pleading eyes. 'How did I miss that?' With careful steps on my shaky new hooves I make it to the cage without falling flat on my snout. She nods and puts her head next to the bars motioning to the straps with a hoof. I dumbly stare at the straps then at my hoof then back to the straps. 'Well, you know what? Fuck logic.' Reaching out I fumble with the straps and a few minutes later somehow remove the muzzle.

"Thank you. That was really starting to bother me." She says rubbing her jaw.

"No problem, so what's with the doors?" I say waving to the color coded doorways.

"The Elements of Harmony lie beyond those magical doorways each guarded by Discord's champions."

"And I'm the only one who can go and get them?" 

"I am afraid so. I would go in your stead but Discord's magic prevents me from escaping this blasted prison." For added emphasis she fires a bolt of magic at the bars only to have it fizzle out on an orange shield before reaching the bars.

"Of course."

"You are our only hope to free the Elements and stop Discord."

"So let me get this straight because I'm not sure if I'm hearing you right or not. You, Princess Luna want me, Kevin to go on an incredibly dangerous mission, by myself I might add, to recover these Elements of Harmony from whatever it is Discord has summoned to protect them. Me, a flightless pegasus with no plan no equipment and no skills whatsoever. Does that sound about right?"

"I do not ask this lightly! I know very well just how dangerous Discord can be! But there is nothing else I can do. If you do not try then there is no hope of defeating Discord and restoring harmony." 

"Would letting him win be that bad though? I mean is it really worth me getting killed over?"

"You do not know as you are not Equestrian. But it would be very very bad if harmony should fall to chaos, I would sacrifice my own life if it meant preventing that monster from being free to cause havoc across the land."

"As bad as that sounds, what's to stop me from just walking out that door right now and leaving you to figure this out on your own?"

"If you were to abandon Equestria in its time of need, if you were to simply let Discord win because of cowardice, If you were to care so little for those six ponies who would call you friend, then there would be nothing I could do to stop you. However, while I highly disapprove of cowardice it is your choice to make it seems." Princess Luna sits down and closes her eyes remaining motionless save for her gentle breathing.

'My choice. My decision. So what do I pick? Should I just up and run? Or do I stick around and play hero? Running certainly sounds like the safest option.' I look over to the door, it stands wide open seemingly inviting me to just run away and leave it all behind to start a new life somewhere far far away. 'But do I really want that? To live the rest of my life as a pony? In a world I barely understand? Without any friends? Or place to call home?' I start towards the door. 'Maybe I could ask Discord if he could send me back or at least make me human. After all he's the one who caused this in the first place. But then, if Princess Luna would rather die than let Discord rule would it really be any safer? Can I trust Discord? Or would I just be trading a really good chance of dying for a 100% chance of living hell with a creature from my nightmares? I-' 

"Wahh!" My train of thought is broken as I trip over something and land on my face. I look to see what I tripped on only to find a blue pair of saddlebags emblazoned with Rainbow's cutie mark. 'Rainbow...' Around me lie five others all crumpled upon the floor. 'Can I really just leave them? Those girls put up with me, offered to help me get home, and be my friend. I can't just leave them, can I?' I look back towards Princess Luna, she hasn't moved from her spot her eyes still closed as she sits. 'No. No, I can't leave, those girls need me. My friends need me.' With newfound determination I get back to my hooves and pick up the saddlebags in my teeth. 'I can't taste it if I don't use my tongue.'    

As I trot back over to Luna's cage she speaks with her eyes still closed. "I see you have decided to stay." I Place the saddlebags on my back carefully maneuvering the straps around my wings and tightening them. 

"I've made my choice. I want to help my friends. And as much as I don't want to die, if I don't do something now it may be too late later." Princess Luna cracks open an eye and smiles.

"It will be a difficult task but with perseverance and quick thinking I know you can succeed." 

"Soo... what should I do first?" Princess Luna waves a hoof over to the colored doors.

"The doors before you will transport you near to the element they represent. It is up to you to defeat its guardian and return with the element. You need merely select which door is first." I look over each door. 'Damnit how am I supposed to pick between friends!? Wait I got it!' A quick game of eenie meenie miney moe later and I approach the selected door. I place a cautious hoof against it, the door vibrates slightly at my touch sending a strange tingling sensation up my foreleg. I gulp and push the door open. Through the doorway is a swirling vortex the same color as the door itself stretching off into the distance. I peer around the frame and see the rest of the room behind it. 'Magic does some weird shit.'*gulp* 'Well Twilight, I guess you're first.' Without waiting to think I leap headlong into the vortex before I can change my mind.

"Ahhhhhhh!" I watch my own body contort and stretch as I spin around and around the vortex. As my vision begins to fade and I start to slip into unconsciousness I remember one last very important detail. 'Didn't Rainbow leave her saddlebags at home?'